A/N – So this happened. Lots of angst ahead, folks, so strap in.

Thanks for the reviews and follows, you guys are the greatest ever. I am constantly amazed by the Castle fandom. While it isn't the most watched show ever, the fandom beats out all others.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. If I did, it would already be renewed for Season 8.

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Chapter Six

The case was closed. The gunman had turned on the Senator, but that hadn't been enough to get a conviction. The smoking gun had come when a package had arrived at Kate Beckett's desk. It contained a file, sent by the deceased Michael Smith, which had implicated Senator William Bracken in dozens of felonies and hundreds of misdemeanors. The file in question was the same file that the gunman had tortured Richard Castle to find. In the end, with the arrest of William Bracken and dozens of his minions, Kate Beckett had to admit that none of it was worth it.

Over the four weeks since the gunman had made his appearance in Richard Castle's hospital room, she hadn't left his side. The doctors were less and less confident that he would ever wake up. Those four weeks were some of the worst weeks of Kate Beckett's life. She thought with the arrest of the man who had ordered the murder of her mom and her captain, as well as her own shooting, that she would find some sort of peace. But it had come at too high a price. She knew that now. There was nothing in the world that would make his sacrifice worth it.

As she sat there that Friday evening holding his hand, she studied his face. She knew that if he didn't wake up, she would never be the same. She would never again be happy, and would live the rest of her days knowing that it was her fault that the love of her life had lost his life because of her obsession with her mom's case. The tears falling down her face had been a constant companion over these last four weeks.

Not knowing what else to do, she had taken to talking to him during the evenings after Alexis and Martha had left for the day. She told him stories about her childhood. She expressed her wishes for the future. But more than anything she begged him to wake up and to be okay.

"Please Rick," she started, "please be okay. Wake up, babe. I need you to wake up." She bent her head and rested it on their intertwined hands and let out a small sob, wanting nothing more than to curl up with him in her arms and never let go.

"Did you just call me babe, Beckett?" a soft voice asked. Her head shot up, looking to where his head laid on a stack of pillows. His eyes were open, though they were clouded with pain and confusion.

"Castle! You're awake! Thank God!" She stood so she could get closer to him. "Thank God," she sobbed, tears flowing down her cheeks. For the first time in weeks, they were tears of joy. "You scared the crap out of me."

Grimacing, he said in a whisper, "What happened?"

She sighed, not sure how much to tell him at the moment. Then remembering that it was a secret that drove them apart, she decided on the truth. "The sniper who shot me captured you, Castle. He…he tortured you, and then left you for dead in my apartment. We thought you wouldn't make it."

"Did you catch him?"

"Not then. He showed up here while you were in the coma and tried to get me to tell him where a file was, but I didn't know what he was talking about. Luckily the boys came in and arrested him then. Castle, the boys and the FBI solved my mom's case. It's over."

He gave her a small smile, "That's great, Beckett. Can I ask why you're here?"

"What do you mean?" she asked in confusion.

"The…the last time we saw each other you pushed me away. Again. So why are you here?"

She sighed and took his hand. "I made a mistake, Castle. I was so stupid. I lied to you a year ago, and then I made it worse by not telling you the truth when you came to my apartment that night. I'm so sorry. I should have never pushed you away. I should have never said those things to you. The truth is…the truth is I'm in love with you, Richard Castle, and it scares the crap out of me."

"It's okay, Beckett, I understand. Where are my mother and Alexis? How long was I out?"

Confused at the change of topic, expecting something in response of her declaration of love, she answered his question, "four weeks. I'll call them and tell them you're awake. But didn't you hear me? I love you, Rick."

"I heard you, Beckett, but I don't believe you. How could I? You've spent the last year lying to me, and then when I asked how you felt about me, if you were ready to start something with me, you accused me of trying to get in your pants, of using you as a conquest. I can't just forgive you, Beckett. I want to, but I can't. Not this time."

Crying harder now, she began to realize that she might have finally pushed him away for good. Through sobs she said, "I thought you loved me? I'm telling the truth, I love you. How can I prove it?"

He sighed, and removed his hand from hers. "You can't. Now please, can you just go? I…I'll call you, okay? I just…I just need some space to think."

Sobbing harder, she nodded, not knowing what else to do, she walked out of his hospital room, not knowing if she would ever see him again.

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a/n – This was never meant to be a case fic, so I'm sorry if her mom's case felt rushed. It didn't matter that much for the story, so I just wrapped it up in the background. I know this chapter is extremely short, but I think that this is a good place to end it. For those asking, I still promise a happy ending, but Beckett has some work to do ahead of her. Next chapter up sometime next week. Leave a review if you still like where this story is headed.