Chapter 3 The Dead

He wanted to look away so badly. He wanted to close his eyes and never open them again, but it was as if the sharingan or someone else was holding them open, forcing him to face his greatest fear- see his final work of twisted art.

Unable to look away, Kakashi watched the light fade out of Rin's eyes and all the meaning, all the memories disappear into oblivion. He watched as the vibrance of her irises darkened like the sun had finally set in her mind. A nothingness bloomed within them, spreading to the very edges of her eyes, and threatening to engulf her existence. He found himself staring into those cold, black pools which now occupied her eyes, and those never-ending pits still held his stare, still arresting, unable to speak, unable to see.

In a heartbeat, Rin's insides became eerily still, and the stillness consumed Kakashi's arm, still embedded through Rin's body. The sharingan was working furiously now, consuming gluttonously, every last detail, every drop of beaded sweat and every pitter patter of rain upon the pale face. Kakashi could see the once beautiful face, adorned with those dead staring eyes, the very last look of alarm, and the look of someone knowing they were moments from death. The realisation lingered upon her face, and Rin's face was forever etched in Kakashi's consciousness.

Rin was dead.

As if the rest of her body had somehow delayed this fact, Rin's eye lids lowered seconds later, and her mouth dropped open , quivering. Blood mixed with the rain streaming down her hair and forehead-protector.

Finally, her legs buckled under her weight, and Kakashi's one arm could not support her dead body. Hastily willing his arm back into control, he clamped his gloved fingers shut upon Rin's right shoulder. In a short, deft movement, the buzz of the chidori sizzled into silence as he wrenched his hand free from her body. Ready for the spurt of blood which erupted from her wound, Kakashi could never prepare himself to face the large gaping hole within her chest. The shower of red left the putrid smell of blood lingering in the air, but the boy, so accustomed to the stench of death, couldn't register it in his mind.

Rin's lifeless body wavered in his clutch before he finally allowed himself to let go. Though the subtle parting of his fingers was bitter, her emotionless and silent demeanour made him physically struggle against the impulse to grasp her and violently shake her back to sense. But his fatigue restrained his frantic urge and instead, he watched Rin Nohara's corpse sway dangerously before edging backwards, slowly. Kakashi watched wordlessly as the sharingan saw and recorded the limpness in her motion and the strange angular flailing of her arms, wobbling outstretched as if trying, even in death, to hold onto a last something. Her arms reached out before her, but Kakashi made no attempt to catch them. She fell. He watched her neck tilt back to bare her pale neck, soiled with streams of red trailing down to stain the rims of her clothes.

Kakashi stood and watched Rin Nohara's dead corpse fall like a flimsy rag doll, limbs flailing in a strange eccentricity that was in no way possible for the living to achieve. Her mouth propped open and eyes still staring yet half-closed made her pretty face seem much older and disturbingly, more peaceful than Kakashi had ever seen her alive.

Her falling was grotesque. Her flaccid body seemed so fragile that she really could not have been more than a puppet made of glass, its string cut from the ends and about to shatter when it hit the floor. Kakashi had been the one to cut the string, and he almost hoped she would shatter on the floor and disappear.

But she hit the ground, head first, in almost-silence under the guise of the rain, and as she did, the boy felt another pang of pain sear up inside him, making him sick. He didn't dare move, not knowing what to do should his very thought crack her delicate body. The sharingan quivered in his eye, blood still flowing, the socket throbbing as if on fire and ready to burst.

In the wake of the movement, Kakashi realised suddenly of his shivering. Rin Nohara's seemingly distorted body lay in ruin before him, and he couldn't help but stare at the large, gaping hole in her chest. Red began to run in frenzy from the wound, the tips of her hair adopting the colour, and the last of the electricity singeing it.

Her eyes sifted slowly shut, and she looked honestly peaceful, as if she were simply asleep. But Rin Nohara was dead.

Hatake Kakashi stood as he watched Rin seemingly drown in her own blood. His body had long disobeyed his limits, and his uncontrollable shaking shook him to the core. He felt as if every one of his bones would break and crack like the sound of Rin's head meeting the muddied ground. Another hot liquid clouded his eyes and he felt it burn down his cheeks. Before long, his emotions caught up with him and tears came, cascading down his broken face and blood-soaked mask. Through the permeating rain, he felt his eye whizzing out of control again, and in a sudden craze, he wished to rip the disloyal pupil form his socket and crush it his first. But it was his only memento from Obito, and he accepted the excruciating punishment only to realise, this, was a mercy compared to his crime.

He had promised the owner of the eye, he had promised Obito. He made a vow to Rin Nohara. Uchiha Obito had loved her, he had loved her to death and Kakashi had killed her with his own hands. Hate boiled up in him as pain pierced him throughout. He ached everywhere and frankly, death didn't seem much like the hell he was living. He caused Obito to die for him. He had killed Rin, the only friend he really had. The war goes on.

The boy's sharingan, in the turmoil of the thought, spiralled and spasmed in its socket and, feeling another gush of blood drip down, the pain ceased. Mangekou Sharingan manifested in his eye. And, unable to focus for another second, one last image of Rin penetrated to the fore front of his mind. He could see it; he could see her in front of him, the rain pounding on her face exactly as it had mere moments before, his hand, his chakra, his chidori mutilating her. "Ka…k…Kakashi…" The soft, sad voice, pitiful to hear, and lined with the shock of impending death and unconditional forgiveness, echoed in his mind. The last of her speech reflected once again in her precious eyes "goodbye." And he was forced again to see the light leave her eyes and stare again into those staring, yet unseeing pits of endlessness.

Then the boy's mind fell blank, his eyelids lowered shut and he was unconscious before he hit the floor, unable to taste the blood in his mouth. In an act of mercy, Kakashi could not hear the screams of a familiar voice on the battlefield.

earl-of-221B's Writers Notes

Thank you so so so much for reading! this concludes the fic.

I tried to weave some forshadowy stuff throughout ,with his eye hurting and im sure u all know who that is in the last line ;)

forgive me, i know im a very wordy writer and i cant help it sometimes, though i do like some of the metaphors and stuff ive added in this- like rin being the last ray of sunshine in kakashis life, how his generation was all born into war, hence rin is more peacful in death- rin and kakashi both have blood on their hands-

i think i put a bit of emphasis on the sharingan and how it was like, recording everything and going off like it had a mind of its own, because, yea, it kinda does. Hopefully this isnt a spoiler but, i was trying to make it so u could feel the presence of the original eye owner and imagine him seeing and feeling the same thing kakashi is. like, that moment where kakashi has his arm through rin, obito was seeing that too (and i guess that ties in with the burning socket, sharingan change and stuff)

i do wish i could have better portrayed their age... i kept trying to refer to kakashi as a boy, though i dont think that did enough...i mean theyre all so young and this kinda backstory would fk anyone up. do keep in mind this fic spans over a couple minutes at the most.

I do have a couple of sequel fics written, about Kakashi's ptsd years after this event, so please check those out i will publish as soon as time permits :)

Thank you again for reading, do leave a review and any criticism is greatly appreciated.