"So you know where this Trickster guy is hiding out, Mr. J?" asked Harley, as they drove through downtown Central City.
"Nope," replied Joker. "But he should be easy enough to find."
"How do you figure?" she asked. "Mostly criminals like to hide themselves away. Even crazy ones, as you well know."
"Yes, pooh, but this particular criminal is gonna be someplace fairly theatrical, just like us Gotham types. If he models himself on me, he's gonna have the same preference for staying in places that are in-jokes, relating to the whole clown theme. See? There's a prop warehouse here with a clown on it – I'll bet good money that we find our guy inside."
"Huh. So that's how Bats always does it," said Harley, impressed.
"Yeah. I guess we could always hide somewhere non-clown theme related so Bats would never find us, but where's the fun in that?" sighed Joker, pulling up the car next to the warehouse. "Now let's go find this Trickster guy. And prepare yourself for a shock, if you ain't seen him before."
Joker kicked open the door to the warehouse, striding in and whistling loudly. "Tricky!" he called. "Tricky! It's the Joker here from Gotham City wanting to talk to you!"
Harley followed him, looking around the warehouse at the various prop, gag, and theatrical items that cluttered the room. There was a dummy dressed in a red muscle suit, and standing next to this dummy, adjusting a few wires on a device, was a man with multicolored hair dressed in a brightly colored unitard, who turned at their approach and beamed.
"The Joker from Gotham City!" he exclaimed. Then he added, "Never heard of you," turning back to the dummy.
Harley just stared at the man. "Puddin', he…he sounds just like…"
"I know, Harl," interrupted Joker, eyebrows narrowing. "Listen, pal, don't pretend like you don't know who I am! You've ripped off my act and my voice and my henchwench gag! You are one massive plagiarist!"
"Zzzt, wrong!" exclaimed the Trickster, turning to smile at him again. "I'm the original funny man, clown boy! You stole my schtick and my voice!"
"I was born with this voice, pal!" snapped Joker. "At least I think so, memory's a little hazy since the accident, which thankfully is one thing you didn't rip off from me!"
"Yeah, I didn't need any fall in some chemicals to come to my conclusion the world's a nuthouse, pal!" snapped Trickster, facing off against him. "I came to insane, prankster supervillainism honestly! After trying many different personas and careers, I'll admit – magician, concert pianist, Jedi Knight…"
"Ha, see, you do know who I am!" exclaimed Joker, triumphantly. "How else could you have known about the chemical accident? Or the Jedi Knight thing? And maybe the reason you're such a lame version of me is because you had other personas before the clown thing - jack of all trades, master of none, as the saying goes. "
"I'm still the original!" retorted Trickster. "Two years before you, I had your voice, and your theme tune, and your girl!"
"Harley, is this true?" demanded Joker, rounding on her furiously.
"Not literally, you dope!" snapped Trickster. "I mean I had the idea! Devoted and loyal henchwench obsessively in love with me and receiving only abuse in return – that was my invention!"
"You can't invent Harley!" snapped Joker.
"Mine's called Prank, and I did invent her!" snapped Trickster.
"C'mon, both of you, just stop talking!" cried Harley, clapping her hands over her ears. "This is just getting creepy! One of you change your voice or something!"
"Don't you just love his voice? I could listen to it all day!" sighed a pretty blonde woman in another unitard, emerging from another part of the warehouse and draping herself lovingly over Trickster.
"Mine does that too!" snapped Joker. "Harley, get over here and fawn! We'll see who has the most devoted henchwench! And this gal has her own fanbase, kid! Nobody's even heard of yours!"
"Mine was the original," replied Trickster, with a grin. "And no popularity contest can change that fact."
"Clearly you're an amateur in insanity compared to me, if you don't believe that facts can be changed!" retorted Joker, triumphantly. "A real crazy person doesn't believe in facts, spandex boy! And I'm the Joker, the one and only, the King of Crazy, and if you dare challenge me, you'll be dead quicker than you can say Luke Skywalker!"
"Leave him outta this!" shouted Trickster, starting forward with his hand out. Joker seized it, and a shock of electricity shot out from both of their joy buzzers, fizzling into the others and exploding it. They stared at the smoking wreckage of their toys for a moment, and then looked at each other, beaming.
"Buddy!" they exclaimed together, embracing tightly.
"Oh, finally, someone who understands the joy of killer gag items!" gasped Joker.
"I understand them, puddin'," said Harley.
"So do I," spoke up Prank.
Joker and Trickster shared a look. "Women," they both muttered at the same time, and then grinned. "Jinx! Jinx again! You owe me a soda!"
They both laughed hysterically and identically, which creeped Harley out a little more. "Well, c'mon, buddy, lemme show you around," said Trickster, keeping one arm around the Joker's shoulder as he gestured. "This is the hideout, kept supplied with toys from my little Prank's inherited empire of toy stores. You see anything you want, let me know, and feel free to play around with everything. Most of them won't kill you."
"You're too kind, Tricky!" said Joker, his eyes gleaming as he looked around at all the toys.
"Have a seat, and some gum," said Trickster, leading them into a makeshift lounge at the back of the warehouse.
"Thanks, but I bring my own gum," said Joker, reaching into his pocket.
"You sure? Mine's extra sugary and extra stretchy!" said Trickster. "Also extra sticky – it stopped the Flash in his tracks once."
Joker giggled at the mention of the Flash. "Extra stretchy, you say?" he said, taking a piece. "Might help me with my bubble blowing record."
He sat down and set the whoopie cushion in the chair off. Trickster laughed hysterically while Joker just grinned, pulling it out from under the cushion. "Cute," he said. "But Harley and me have a more adult use for that toy."
"Yeah?" asked Trickster. "What is it?"
"Private," retorted Joker, popping the gum into his mouth.
"So what are you doing here anyway?" asked Trickster, taking a seat on the sofa. Prank draped herself across him, and Harley, not to be outdone, glared at her and then climbed into Joker's lap. "You don't usually leave Gotham, do you?"
"Nah, I kinda came here to see you," replied Joker. "Luthor says you've been pulling some pranks on the Injustice League, and he wants me to talk you outta it."
Trickster frowned. "On the Injustice League? I don't remember that."
"Really?" said Joker. "You know the guys around here who are in it? Gorilla Grodd, Mirrormaster, Captain Cold…"
"Oh, those jerks don't even talk to me any more," interrupted Trickster, waving his hand. "But who needs 'em, right? I do fine on my own – got my own plans for this city, and the Flash, and I don't need their stupid help."
"So you've been targeting them because you're angry that they won't help you?" asked Joker.
"I haven't been targeting them," replied Trickster. "I don't know what you're talking about. The last few schemes I've pulled have all been directed at the Flash, and I'm currently working on an exploding line of thermal underoos I can swap for his Flash suit. I don't think that would interfere in any Injustice League business, would it?"
"Not unless Lexy has a strange underwear fetish," admitted Joker. "Well, that's…quite an unusual misunderstanding for Lexy to make. I'll have to give him a call and tell him you're not the guy, and cuss him out for making me come all this way for nothing."
"Hey, not for nothing!" said Trickster, smiling. "While you're in town, why don't we join forces and have some fun together, just you and me?"
Joker grinned. "Well, it would be a shame to leave before I've had any fun," he agreed, shoving Harley off his lap and standing up. "What do you have in mind?"
"I've got some new toys I'm dying to try out on some unsuspecting citizens!" chuckled Trickster, shoving Prank off him and leading Joker back into the warehouse. "Lemme show 'em to you, and we'll think up a plan together…"
Harley and Prank watched them go, and then turned to look at each other. They eyed each other contemptuously – clearly while their boyfriends felt an instant connection, they felt an instant repulsion.
"Nice spandex," snapped Harley. "But most people change clothes when they leave the gym."
Prank smirked. "Has anybody ever told you your hat makes it look like you've got Dumbo ears?"
"It does not!" snapped Harley. "It's a jester hat, dummy! Because I'm Harley Quinn, like a harlequin, get it?! Took some smarts to think up that alter ego, not like your silly name, which, apparently, belonged to a couple women before you. At least I'm Mr. J's only Harley."
"That other tramp wasn't Prank," growled Prank. "She was a horrible woman who manipulated my angel, who was too good for her…"
"Mr. J doesn't get manipulated by women," said Harley, with a smirk. "At least, not by any woman but me. But what can you expect from a guy whose current girlfriend only wants to use him for her own selfish thrills and gratification? You're not his sidekick because you love him – you're his sidekick because you love the danger, and the idea of him. You're pathetic. You need to wake up and grow a spine."
"And you need to get your eyesight checked if you think that clown-faced freak is in any way attractive…" began Prank.
And that was when Harley lost her cool. "Take it back!" she shrieked, launching herself at Prank and punching her across the face. "Mr. J's the most gorgeous, smartest, funniest guy around!"
"My Trickster…is more gorgeous, and smart, and funny!" shrieked Prank, fending off her blows. She grabbed Harley's hat, yanking her head to the side, and then kicking her back. Harley lashed out again, and soon the two were in the middle of a full scale fight.
"Ladies, ladies, what's going on?" demanded Trickster, as he and Joker hurried to see what the commotion was, and found Harley and Prank tussling on the ground.
"Whatever it is, I think we better film it!" chuckled Joker. "A lotta fanboys will probably wanna see this!"
"She started it!" shrieked Harley, throwing a finger at Prank. "She called you unattractive, Mr. J!"
"And she said the Joker was more handsome and smarter and funnier than you!" shrieked Prank at the Trickster. "Which just isn't true!"
Joker and Trickster shared a look, and then grinned. "Well, I hate to make it a contest but…" began Joker.
"But let's do it!" exclaimed Trickster. "Whoever pulls the funniest crime in the next twenty-four hours is the funniest villain!"
"Agreed!" exclaimed Joker. "Harley, c'mon! I'm gonna win this or my name ain't the Joker!"
"But puddin', shouldn't you call Lex and tell him Trickster ain't the guy who's been sabotaging the operations?" asked Harley.
"In a bit, pooh," he retorted. "Get your priorities straight! Fun first, and then business! You know what they say – all work and no play makes Batman!"
Harley sighed heavily, following Joker out of the room. What with that hideous version of her, that strange, copycat version of Mr. J, and the bizarre misunderstanding Luthor seemed to have about the crimes against his organization, Harley couldn't say she was enjoying her time so far in Central City.