I admit forlornly that I do not own Gakuen Alice.

'Love is the most beautiful thing to have, hardest thing to earn, and most painful thing to lose.'
–Unknown

'Betrayal…
Doesn't only break
Your heart
But also
Darkens your soul.
You'll never forget the pain
Like a fog that forever
Lingers in the depths
Of your mind.'

"Mikan, open the door."

The late-afternoon sun seeps through an open window down the corridor. Warm, fuzzy light bathes the room in a soft, yellow glow. Your surroundings are quaint and cozy. A well-designed kitchen sits off to the right, the small cuckoo-clock ticking softly away. A breeze makes it way around the flaxen curtains, blowing gently at an open magazine displaying a wide array of sweets. The waft of cool air sends small chills down your spine.

It isn't supposed to be like this. You aren't supposed to be like this! Of all people, you had to be the one involved in a goddamned twisted drama.

But newsflash: The dramas aren't real, and this? Well this is. This is fucking real.

"Oi, Mikan." You agitatedly jiggle the bronze knob to the girl's room. "Open this door."

There is still no answer.

The door, somehow, isn't locked. It seems stuck, as if something is blocking the door.

This is ridiculous.

A trademark action of yours, you narrow your eyes. Tension biting at the back of your throat, you lean into the door. "I'm saying this one more time. Open. This. Door."

As the sun begins to dip below the horizon, the sky turns a brilliant display of vibrant colors. Reds and oranges mix together, forming an ambiguous canvas of colors, tapering off into soft smudges of cotton-candy pink and sprinkles of baby blue.

With a growl, you shove against the door. Meeting with a hard thud, failure only seems to fuel your bubbling inner-longing. As your chest contorts surprisingly painfully, you throw yourself against the door one last time.

Miraculously, with a protesting squeak, the door flings open.

She must be here. She has to be.

What are you thinking? Of course she's here.

"Hey Natsume!"

Your head snaps to the side, pants convulsing your stomach. "What."

Your friend's blue eyes are glimmering with worry. "Why Luna?"

Pausing in your tracks, you turn around. "What about her?" You ask stiffly.

"Don't play dumb. Why did you choose Luna over Mikan?"

"I didn't choose anyone over anyone."

"What?"

Annoyance lacing your voice, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your texts." He holds up his phone adorned with patterns of waves.

"What about my texts…?" You venture slowly.

He waggles his phone at you. "That you're marrying Luna and you're leaving for your honeymoon in a mere several days!"

"I fucking what?" Narrowing your eyes, you shake your head furiously. "Where's Mikan?"

Raising an eyebrow, confusion swallows Ruka's eyes. "She's upstairs… But why, anyway? You're getting married!"

Your mouth twitches. "Give me the phone."

Uncertain, Ruka steps up and hesitantly hands you his phone.

Of course. Scrolling through the messages, your heart speeds up. As your mind screams for a certain brunette, you can't help but feel a pull towards the white and blue message bubbles.

April 23rd, 4:49:16
Natsume Hyuuga: I'm getting married.

April 23rd, 4:49:46
Ruka Nogi: What? With whom?
You're drunk again, aren't you?

April 23rd, 4:49:58
Natsume Hyuuga: Of course. Not.
You're overreacting.
With Luna of course.

April 23rd, 4:50:19
Ruka Nogi: With Luna. You're kidding me. What happened with Mikan?
Who are you and what the hell have you done to Natsume?

April 23rd, 4:50:34
Natsume Hyuuga: Chill man, chill. Mikan and I are long done.
She means nothing to me. Never has, anyway.

April 23rd, 4:52:46
Ruka Nogi: WHAT?! NATSUME I SWEAR, UGH.
What the hell, Natsume!

You don't even need to finish the conversation. Tossing the phone back to your oblivious friend, you growl, "Where's Imai?"

He startles. "In the states… She's been there for a week already… Oi, why did you need my phone?"

When you don't answer, he continues pestering you. "Natsume? What's wrong? What's with Hotaru being brought up?" Eyebrows furrowed, he throws up his hands in exasperation, still grasping onto his phone. "Hey, Natsume!"

With a suppressed growl, you sneer, "So she doesn't know anything." Scarlet eyes ablaze, you turn away from your friend. "I don't have my phone. 'Natsume Hyuuga'? You were talking to the wrong person." Spatting the last phrase in disgust, you are in the apartment and gone.

Ignoring the warm greetings a woman at the front desk sends your way, you sprint to the elevator maniacally. Jabbing at a random button, you are unable to hold still as the elevator dings open on the 8th floor.

You easily enter Mikan's two-story apartment, courtesy to her unlocked door.

And now you're here, anything but calm, anything but relieved.

Gripping involuntarily at your right shoulder, you burst into the cheerily-painted room.

Eyes wild with unspoken agitation, you quickly scan the room, blurry-eyed.

An empty glass desk sits deserted in the corner, the usual silver laptop gone. Across the desk is a wide-opened window, the pink polka-dotted curtains dancing freely in the breeze.

You turn your head. In a corner sits a queen-sized bed, the pillows lying against one another cozily, a pile of different plushies perched atop one another. There is a small burrow in the cloud-like sheets.

You venture forward cautiously, curiosity nipping at your brain. That's her. That's her. One more step. Hurry up!

In front of the bed, you lower your gaze.

Mouth slightly ajar, you stare.

Lying there is a black cat, a small pink bow tie wrapped around its furry neck.

What's it doing here?

You recognize the stuffed cat as the first gift you've ever gotten your girlfriend.

Girlfriend.

Mikan.

Where the hell is she?

Knees against the bed, you continue staring at the stuffed cat underneath you as its red, marble eyes gaze up at you pathetically.

"Natsume! That's so sweet of you! I love it so much!" Twirling around the living room, the childish brunette raises the plushy above her head, eyes shining in happiness.
"Tch. You're such a baby."
She pouts. Shrugging to herself, she continues dancing ridiculously. "I love him anyway!"
Turning away, you busy yourself with scrutinizing the wall to your left in an attempt to distract yourself from the heat suffocating your face.
She suddenly bounces up to you. "And you know what else?"
You smirk. "You love me most, of course. Obviously."

The memory sends you over a wave of emotions.

The sun has nearly vanished. As it retires, you cannot help but feel a fleeting moment of loss and unfathomable throbbing. Discomfort.

Injured cat in one hand, a sheet of pink paper catches your attention. Black ink scrawling through the sheet, your body turns cold as you recognize the letters' owner.

Scanning the letter greedily, your eyes barely make out the words as your grip suffocates the innocent piece of paper.

Natsume,

I hope you have a good wedding. Was the cake good? Give Luna my well wishes. She's great to look at, and she's one of a kind. You deserve her looks, and she may not seem the best at times… but honestly, she isn't a bad person. I'm glad you told me truth afterwards.

I'm in a better place now, Natsume. Maybe the food here won't be better, but the people will definitely treat me differently… I'll be new there anyway, won't I?

Love is one heck of an emotion. One moment, it's there. The next, it's as if the fire has been extinguished, only to find that it has burst up in flames again, just somewhere else. Natsume? Please don't pass a chance to say 'I Love you' to the people you care about because we aren't promised a tomorrow. From the bottom of my heart, I truly treasure your company.

I am happy with the knowledge that for a while, I was the girl who was able to get you to smile. I am happy to know that I was the girl you held dear to your heart. But most of all, it warms my heart to know that you DID love me. I can plaintively remember you saying 'I love you' to me four times, at most three, and if I were to paint them out, I could… and I would. But it wasn't your sweet words that embraced me… It was those subtle actions – the quiet walk in the park when I was in your jacket, the soft night-time whispers when we trusted on another to secrets, the first time you bought me a gifts… the first time I saw you smile? If that smile were always on your face, you'd have more than admirers than you already have. The first hug you gave me? It sent electric waves up my already-fuzzy body.

"Love is that condition in the human spirit so profound that it allows me to survive, and better than that, to thrive with passion, compassion, and style." You gave me that, Natsume. You gave me just that. And for that, I thank you from the bottom of the organ that pumps my blood. Yes, my heart.

The memories are endless, Natsume. To me, they are absolutely timeless.

Seeing that you have moved on, I am induced to close this chapter in my life and begin anew.

They say that if one is sad, heartbroken… That person will remain silent. Loss is a fickle thing...But it changes people. Perhaps not change… They just deviate from their original path and allow themselves to be altered. But loss, loss is similar to change. The two are really similar.

You know Edward Albee? Remember when I forced you to read that specific play?

Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.

Tangerine Girl, ASU

Fuck Luna.

"Tangerine girl…" As your eyes trail away from the letter, you are unable to speak. Scarlet orbs trained on the black cat, you silently re-run Tangerine's letter in your head. The emotions come crashing down on you once more, drowning you in fury, confusion, and longing. Tugging at the plushy's stomach, you slowly twirl the white stuffing around your index finger.

Someone is pounding against the apartment door. Maybe more than just one person. Groaning, you close your eyes and ignore them as your mind spews forth unspoken thoughts.

You think nothing of the unfamiliar, scribbled "ASU" and just stand there, mind racing.

You're worthless.

Staring down at the cat's black fur, you shiver as your heart skips a beat. The sky outside is pitch-black, but the breeze continues tumbling across the room.

It suddenly hits you. You let out a sharp intake of breath.

Leaning against the bedroom door, you see the cat's dim outline against the dark.

Mikan.
The cat.

Realization dawning your features, you jerk upright. You stupidly wonder how you hadn't been fully aware of the disfigured toy in your hand. How pathetic can you get?

The black cat… there is a dagger running through its body. But why?

"Sometimes it's necessary… it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance… correctly."

Away.

Sincerely,

Alex

10:57, PT 3/29/2015