AN: Here is le next chapter! Yeah! Thanks for both people who reviewed. You get a virtual cookie. Not the bad kind. *hands u virtual cookie*. No one reads this anyway. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did I would backflip into the sun out of joy.
Harry and the twins were hiding in the air vents. Harry hadn't even been aware Grimmauld Place had air vents, but hey, this house was full of surprises. "So, the mysterious Potter, what are we doing first?" Fred said. Harry was pretty sure it wasn't George. "Um...'Not allowed to describe what you are going to do to Wormtail when you get hold of him in front of children'. How are we going to get hold of Wormtail?"
"Well we could just describe what we're going to do to him when we get our hands on him in front of everyone."
"Yes, that sounds spiffing, but why exactly?"
"Because we got angry?"
"That works."
With that, they jumped dramatically into the kitchen, where everyone was having dinner. Harry enjoyed landing on Snape's mashed potatoes. Snape sneered.
"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I SWEAR I'LL-"
"On who exactly?" Hermione asked, seeing past Harry's not-really-obviously faked anger.
"WORMTAIL, OF COURSE! I'LL RIP HIS HEAD OF AND THEN-"
The rest of this sentence is censored because I don't want to give you nightmares.
Ginny screamed and ran upstairs, and Hermione hid under the table. "Harry, not in front of the children!" Molly shrieked. Harry then burst out laughing and then side-along Apparated with the twins into their room. They then collapsed on the floor clutching their sides. When they finally regained their compusure, George gasped out. "What's next?"
"Um...'Not allowed to invite Death Eaters to your birthday party'."
"Hm...well, we'll do that later, since its no one's birthday for a while. Next?"
"Anything Sirius or the twins tell you to do is a bad idea."
"Hey!"
"Its true, sorry."
"Um...Well, we need to tell you to do something, so...PRANK RON AND HERMIONE!"
"I don't prank."
"We say you can!"
"Not a chance."
"Ooooooooh!"
"I can do this and you can do that but I don't prank, no!"
"Why are we singing High School Musical?"
"Haven't the foggiest."
They then plotted the most horrible and hilarious prank in existence. I would tell you, but that would spoil the totally hilarious prank that is about to be described. And I just broke the fourth wall. Fantastic. Anyway, on with the prank.
Harry rushed into the room he knew Ron and Hermione were in covered in 'blood' and screaming incredibly over-dramatically for good measure. "Harry, what happened!?"
"I went out into the...woods and...Death eaters..." Harry collapsed. Ron and Hermione rushed to his side. "Harry!"
"The light...is spreading..."
"Don't go towards the light, mate." Ron sounded tearful.
"Tell Sirius...I love him." Harry then pretended to be dead using a lot of advanced charms that he somehow managed to do. It was very convincing. Hermione let out a scream, and the Order came running at probably about 2748907322 miles per hour. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked. He was the first one through the door. Hermione was sobbing. "I-its H-harry!" She sobbed. The twins, up in the air vents, were trying very hard not to burst out laughing. "He's dead!" She pointed a shaking finger to Harry's supposed corpse. Ron was checking his friend's pulse quite desperately, but Harry had a charm to handle that, too. "No...Harry, mate, wake up! You've got to wake up!" Ron's shout was almost heartbreaking, and Harry was feeling slightly guilty. "What happened?" Sirius asked, dropping to his knees next to his godson.
"H-he said so-somethi-ing about D-death eaters." Hermione sobbed. Almost time to tell them its a prank. Harry thought. Sirius looked hearbroken. "No." He whispered. Harry was getting tired now. Well, lets 'fess up.
Harry sat up and everyone jumped. "AAAAAAAARGH ZOMBIE!" Ron yelled. Harry laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
"Oh man, I should listen to the twins more often. Your faces were priceless!"
"Harry! Thats not very nice!" Hermione said. "We were really worried."
"Knew you had Marauder in you." Sirius said, grinning and standing up.
"Can't be all my mum, now, can I?" Harry replied, grinning like a madman.
"Certainly not. Well, back to your rooms with all of you."
With that, the Order exited, Snape muttering something about 'arrogant Marauders' and 'Just like his father'. Harry had gone back to the twins room without Ron or Hermione noticing him. Probably going to affect my relationship with them later, Harry thought. Oh well.
"Good one, Harry!" Fred said.
"We couldn't have done better ourselves!" George added.
"Now, whats next?" They said in perfect unison.
"Hm... 'You getting a pony won't help the Order win the war'."
The twins conjured a pony. "Ride this into the Order meeting, Harry."
"Why me?"
"Because you're small, we aren't." Harry glared at them. If looks could kill, the twins would be dead ten times over. But, nevertheless, he did.
The pony burst through the door and pranced onto the table. "Harry, why in bloody hell do you have a pony?"
"IT'LL HELP THE ORDER WIN THE WAR!" Harry shouted as the pony gave a whinny. He then rode out, and as soon as he was back in the twins's room, the pony disappeared. "That was bloody fantastic!" The redheads laughed together.
"Maybe to you." Harry said. "I think my godfather's questioning my mental health."
"Harry, be serious, the whole Order is questioning your mental health. What now?"
"'Not allowed to ask if we can have someone non manipulative in charge'."
"DINNER!" Molly shouted. The twins grinned a little creepily.
"The perfect chance." George said, rubbing his hands together like a crazy evil villan.
They went downstairs together. Dinner was eaten in silence, until George said: "Why can't the Order have someone non-manipulative in charge?" Everyone was silent. Until..."George, there is nothing interesting about the Order, so you shouldn't ask questions." That was Mrs Weasley. There was no more conversation at the table. Back in the twins's room, George looked disappointed. "I hoped for a better reaction than that. Oh well, whats next, Harry?"
"Er...'Not allowed to miss meetings because you went for ice cream'. How are-?"
"Easy! Tell Nymphadora to go for ice cream before the meeting starts in a couple of minutes."
They did so. Afterwards, they were forced to go to their rooms. Not sleep or turn the lights off, just go to their rooms. Ron was reading something (Thats a huge suprise.) so there was no one to talk to. After a while, shouting could be heard from downstairs. "GETTING ICE CREAM IS NOT A GOOD REASON TO MISS AN ORDER MEETING!"
"But Siriuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!"
"DON'T YOU SIRIUS ME!"
Harry giggled. Yes, giggled. "Did you seriously just giggle?" Ron said, looking up from his book.
"So what if I did?"
"Giggling's for girls."
"Must be for you then, eh, Ronniekins?" Fred and George appeared. They sat on Harry's bed with him.
"What are you two doing here?" Ron said grumpily, glaring at his redheaded brothers.
"Just come to ask Harry what's next on the list."
"What list?" Ron asked, suddenly interested.
"150 things Order members are not allowed to do."
"But you aren't Order members."
"Doesn't matter. Didn't you wonder why we were doing all those hilarious things?"
"Oh! So, can I join in then?" The twins and Harry shared a glance. Harry shrugged.
"Sure you can."
"So, whats next then?"
"Swearing in front Molly will not end world."
"SWEARING IN FRONT OF MUM DEFINITELY WILL END THE WORLD!" Ron shouted. Well, thats that over and done with.
"Next is... Not allowed to call Tonks by her first name."
"NYMPHADORA TONKS!" Came a shout from Sirius, who was downstairs.
"Looks like Sirius beat us to that one." Ron snorted.
" Can not Write to Voldemort asking for his advice on hair care."
"That'd be bloody hilarious!" Ron said.
"That's why we're doing these things, Won-Won. Keep up." Fred said. He got another well-earned glare from his younger brother. "Well, lets get writing." Ron said. "Hey, lets sign it from Snape for good measure." The twins looked impressed.
"Never thought you had it in you, Ron." George said, with over-reacting awe that was probably slightly fake. With this, they began writing.
To my wonderful Tommikins,
My hair is out of hand again, and I need your hair care expertise to help. How can I cure my hair of being so oily and greasy, my dear Dark lord?
Love and kisses
Your Sevvy-poo xx
Even before they sent it, they all laughed like demented hyenas. They sent it with Pidwidgeon, because Voldemort would most likely recognize Hedwig or Errol. They would have to wait for the return letter, if there was one, so they continued to the last thing they could do. The twins went to bed, and both Harry and Ron were still laughing when Molly declared it was time for light's out. She was about to go out when Ron asked, in a fake, simpering voice: "Mummy, can you sing me a lullaby?" Harry buried his head into his pillow to stop himself from laughing out loud. "Ronald, don't be silly, you are way too old for a lullaby!" Ron looked hurt and started fake crying, but Molly wasn't phased, and exited. "Close one, Ron." Harry whispered. Sirius peeked in. "'Night guys." He whispered. As he tried to shut the door again, Harry said: "Padfoot, can you sing me a lullaby?"
"I know what you're up to. Nice try, Harry." Sirius walked out, and Harry swore he heard him chuckling. Mad-eye must've wanted to talk to Sirius, because he was walking past the door when- "Moody, can you sing me a lullaby?"
"NO." Moody walked away muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'constant vigilance'.
"Night guys!" Remus called from the landing. He was heading towards his room when Harry called out. "Moony! Can you sing me a lullaby?"
"Harry, you're too old."
Harry gave a convincing sniff. "Why does no one like me?"
"Fine." Remus entered the room. Ron brought out a muggle video recorder without Lupin noticing. "This'll be priceless." He whispered to himself.
"...Hush little Prongslet, don't you cry.
Moony's gonna sing you a lullaby.
And if that lullaby doesn't make sense.
I'm probably gonna have to mend your baby fence.
And if that baby fence falls over.
Moony's gonna find you a lucky clover.
And if that lucky clover won't work,
Moony's gonna try to stop Uncle Sevvy being such a jerk.
And if Uncle Sevvy stays really jerky.
Padfoots gonna eat all the beef jerky.
And if Pafoot pukes it all out.
Its gonna make your mummy shout.
And if Voldemort makes her voice die down.
You'll still be the sweetest Marauder in town."
Harry was actually sleeping by the end of the lullaby. So was Ron, and the camera was still facing Harry in his best friend's limp hand. Remus smiled a little, then walked out, and whispered. "Goodnight Prongslet."
AN: Awwwww, isn't that cute? Also my sister helped a little with this, abi tandy. Check her out if you want to see loads of bad grammar mistakes. Next chapter, Voldie's reaction and reply to the letter, and some more too. 150 things Order members are not allowed to do still belongs to bexybooblue. Review for a virtual cookie!
~AwesomePotterlover