All four teenagers were snapped out of their memories by a shout. Mary's heart had stopped, and nurses were bustling this way and that frantically. Karkat asked one of them what was happening. "Mary Doorwall's heart has stopped." She explained quickly, walking off at a fast pace. Karkat froze. And suddenly his throat closed and he couldn't breath and he tried to rush into the room but he was panicking because he couldn't breath. His knees gave way and he fell to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. His brain usefully informed him he was having a panic attack.
Breathe, he told himself in his head. Just breathe. Calm down. Deep breaths.
"Karkat! Karkat calm down." Gamzee said, kneeling beside his friend. "Come on, brother, breathe."
"I-i can't." He whispered with the only remaining breath he had.
"You can! Its all in your head, Karkat, just breathe." Gamzee had his smaller friend in a comforting embrace. "Shhh...come on. Calm down..." And he did. He thought of his friends, how they always messed around with him, how they laughed hysterically together at his jokes even though they weren't really that funny, how they always knew what to do when someone got sad. He thought about Terezi's cackle when she shoved Sollux in the pool at Doncaster, and Sollux's laughter as he pulled her in with him. He thought of Aradia's confident nature, and how she always knew what to say. Tavros's stutter, Gamzee's addiction to Faygo, Feferi's bubbly nature, Eridan's whines about his lack of love life, Nepeta's nicknames that always reference to cats. He thought of all his friends until he could take a deep breath. Which he did.
"It's all okay, brother. It's all okay."
Despite having stopped panicking, he sat on the floor in his best friends embrace for a little longer, not trusting himself to stand. Then Gamzee stood, and helped Karkat do the same. The shorter teen's legs were still shaking, so his friend supported him back to Tavros's still dark hospital room.
"What happend?!" Tavros said, looking worriedly towards Karkat, who's legs were shaking and was still being supported by Gamzee.
"...M-mary's heart stopped and Karkat had a panic attack." Gamzee said, setting Karkat into a chair, then sitting down in the one next to it. Tavros looked concerned...Wait, worse than that. He looked shocked and concerned and scared and god, Aradia wished she could hug him. "She...she's...she can't be..." He stuttered, tears in his chocolate coloured eyes. But sobbing and screaming from the next room confirmed their suspicions.
"NO! MY BABY!"
Mary Doorwall was dead.
And there was nothing they could do about it.
Karkat froze again. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no, he said to himself. God, it hurt the other three to see him like this. He felt the tears come and god, he was hurting and he wished the hurt would end but it never does, it never does! With that, he collapsed.
"Karkat!" Gamzee said worriedly, shaking his best friend. "Come on, brother, wake up!"
Gamzee was scared. He wouldn't admit it, but he was scared shitless and he was sad and one of his friends just died and god, he needed Karkat right now, but said person had just passed out. And the youngest Makara was fucking panicking.
-
"Gamzee, please calm down!" Tavros said. Fuck, he had enough to cope with with what he'd been told by the doctors a while before, let alone Mary's death, Karkat's collapse, and his boyfriend's hysterical panic. "Shit, shit, shit!" Gamzee muttered, shaking Karkat. "GAMZEE! Calm down. Ok, just calm down." Said person calmed a little, but continued shaking his best friend.
-
Karkat came around to find he was being shaken frantically by his best friend. "Geez, Gamzee! Stop shaking me!"He said, irritated. The taller teen obliged. Karkat suddenly remembered why he had passed out in the first place. "O-oh god." He said, tears escaping his eyes. Gamzee hugged him once again, and Karkat sobbed onto his best friend's shoulder. Suddenly, Karkat's father burst through the door, quite dramatically.
-
"Karkat!" He said. "Oh, thank god you're-" He stopped.
Mr. Vantas scanned the dark room. Aradia Megido, who last time he checked, was dead, was floating in the corner looking sad. Tavros Nitram was in a hospital bed looking distraught, and Gamzee Makara was comforting Karkat, who was crying into his shoulder. "What happened?" He said, his relieved tone changing to a concerned one. Tavros answered, sobbing.
"I-it's M-mary s-s-she's d-d-d-dead!" He cried, sobs wracking his whole body.
"Oh god." Karkat's Dad whispered. -
Karkat looked up to see his dad. "D-dad?" He said confusedly, tears still streaming down his face.
"Mrs. Nitram called me. Said that you had a panic attack, needed support. I was worried when you didn't come home with school." With that said, the teen ran to his Dad and cried and cried and cried. Mr. Vantas put a hand behind his head, and another behind his shoulders in a comforting embrace.
"Come on, son. Lets get you home." Karkat protested weakly, saying he needed to stay, but it was obvious that he was losing the arguement. In the end, he was too tired to protest any more. It had been a long day, and was a long drive home.
Neither of them said a word when they got home. They both just went to their rooms. Karkat, unable to sleep, logged onto Pesterchum. Everyone was online apart from Aradia, Gamzee and Tavros.
arsenicCatnip [AC] created a memo: what happened
AC: :33 *ac creates memo worriedly and hops around*
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo
CG: NEPETA, ARE YOU OK?
AC: :33 *nods* are Tafurros and Mary ok.
CG:..
AC: :33 *ac frowns* they're not ok are they
twinArmaggadoens [TA] responed to memo
TA: kk are they ok
TA: theyre not are they
TA: kk ii 2wear two gog ju2t fuckiing an2wer me
CG: THEY AREN'T EXACTLY OK
AC: :33 *ac looks worried* Karkitty tell us please...
CG: TAVROS IS OK SORTA
TA: what do you mean 2orta
CG: WELL HE'S ALIVE
CG: BUT HE WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK AGAIN
TA: you're kiiddiing, riight?
AC: :33 *ac gasps in shock*
CG: I WISH I WAS, HONESTLY
CG: AND
CG: FUCK I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS
CG: MARY
CG: MARY'S DEAD
TA: ok kk round of applau2e be2t prank ever
AC: :33 *ac gasps and starts to cry*
TA: look u made nep cry ju2t tell u2 what really happened
Karkat could've laughed. He wished so hard it was a prank.
CG: SOLLUX THIS ISN'T A FUCKING PRANK
CG: SHE'S GONE AND I JUST SPENT FIVE HOURS AT THE HOSPITAL
terminallyCapricous [TC] responded to memo
TA: gam, fiinally, tell kk to 2top prankiing u2 he'2 makiing nep cry
TC: He AiN't MoThErFuCkInG pRaNkInG yOu MoThErFuCkEr
TA: dude, ur kiidiing, riight?
TC: NaH dUdE sHe'S gOnE
TC: i'M hErE wItH tAv To CoMfOrT tHe PoOr GuY
AC: oh god she's really dead isn't she
TC: I wOuLdN't LiE aBoUt SuCh A sErIoUs ThInG nEp
CG: I NEED TO GO
TC: KaRkAt
CG: WHAT
TC: PlEaSe DoN't BeAt YoUrSeLf Up OvEr ThIs
TC: DoN't Do AnYtHiNg StUpId
CG:...I WON'T
CG: GOODNIGHT
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased responding to this memo
Karkat sighed, and was about to sign off when suddenly the message noise chimed. It was that kid who'd started pestering him a while back. He also had a message from Gamzee. He answered Gamzee first, because the guy who pestered him was annoying.
terminallyCapricous [TC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 21:30
TC: KaRkAt
CG: I DON'T GET WHY YOU'RE PESTERING ME GAMZEE
CG: YOU TOLD ME NOT TO DO ANYTHING FUCKING STUPID ALREADY
TC: I kNoW
TC: bUt
TC: ItS tImEs LiKe ThEsE wHeN
TC: wHeN sOmEtHiNg BaD hApPeNs
TC: ThAt I cAn'T sToP mYsElF sAyInG iT tWiCe
TC: BeCaUsE i KnOw hOw DePrEsSeD yOu CaN gEt In ThEsE sItUaTiOnS
TC: aNd I wOrRy AbOuT yOu, BrOtHeR
CG: WELL FUCKING DON'T
CG: I CAN DEAL PERFECTLY FUCKING WELL WITH MY OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS GAMZEE
TC: kArKat ThAtS nOt WhAt I mEaNt
CG: BUT IT FUCKING IS ISN'T IT GAMZEE
CG: I'M NOT A FUCKING BABY CG: I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING PROTECT ME ANYMORE
CG: I HAVE JUST AS MUCH SELF CONTROL AS YOU DO
CG: AND PROBABLY MUCH MORE EMOTINAL STREGNTH
CG: SO DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I KNOW VERY FUCKING WELL
TC: KaRkAt...
CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING KARKAT ME
CG: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS GAMZEE
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering terminallyCapricous [TC] at 21:43
You couldn't believe your best friend right now. You know at one point in your life, you needed his protection and his advice, but that was a very long time ago. Before all this happened. Back when you were a hormonal eleven-year-old who was physically and verbally bullied every day and you were really depressed and fucked up. You could never go back to that hell of a life with only someone else's fucking protection as the slightest glint of fucking hope. Not now. Now you were older. Wiser. Stronger. And you could take it all by yourself, whether Gamzee fucking Makara wanted you to or not. You answered the other guy. He couldn't make you angrier, right?
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 21:45
TG: yo
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT
TG: im just bored and want to talk to someone and i thought
TG: why not my favourite English dipshit
CG: WELL I DON'T EXACTLY WANT TO TALK TO SOME DOUCHEBAG LIKE YOU
TG: why not
TG: is my awesomeness too much for you
CG: YOUR A FUCKING TWAT
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 21:49
It seemed Karkat was wrong. This guy had definitely made him fucking angrier. He was a dick, and Karkat knew it. He had no idea why this kid was still on his contacts. Karkat signed off and flopped onto his bed. It was going to be a long week at school. His dad had said during the drive home he could take tomorrow off, but Karkat couldn't. He was a bad friend and a bad leader, but he still was stronger than the depressing thoughts at the back of his mind that made him want to get a knife and end it all. He was definitely stronger than that. If he was ever too weak to stop those thoughts occupying his mind fully, then he was too weak to live. Because he's supposed to be the strong one, even if he's really the one who feels like collapsing and crying and just dying. Always the strong one. Always.
AN: so, how was it? Sad? Depressing? A waste of your time? I know its like, really short. Sorry, honestly. The next chapter will definitely be longer. Review if you like? Please? Also the Beta kids will be more into the actual story later on, so don't worry about missing our favourite prankster, gardener, therapist and rapper! :) Already writing the next chapter so you don't have long to wait.
I should stop blabbing its not like anyone actually reads this part. I'll update soon :))))))))
~AP
