Guest A/N: Yo! Ayara012 here. I asked Nein if I could speak my thoughts here, this time, because I just wanted to let y'all know just how RIDICULOUS this child has been over the last, oh, week or so. She has been going nuts over this chapter. To my knowledge, it was just s'pposed to be this short little drabble for all of us. It became a 11k+ chapter. She's been torturing herself over it. Needless to say, it was endlessly entertaining for me, as a friend of hers. However, I figured she deserved a little bit of applause for that. Or cookies. So feel free to give her either of those in a review, k?
Regular AN: ... xD What more is there to say? Other than, obviously, sorry it took so long. This was meant to be out on Christmas. Although made less perfect by my ill-timing, I hope you'll enjoy it. And, y'know... if... if you happen to... have some, y'know... cookies on hand... xD
Something was up. He couldn't be sure if it was good or bad, but it was something and Sanji wouldn't tell him what it was. And whatever was up, to Zoro's great displeasure, had been up for weeks, each and every day of which Zoro asked what the matter was. Despite how good he'd gotten at speaking to and understanding humans, no matter how he asked, Sanji never gave him an answer that made sense. That was really getting on his nerves.
Red and green orbs had been strewn on some sort of branch from wall to wall in almost every room of Sanji's apartment for some mysterious purpose, and the yellow-haired human had developed an obsession with peppermint and cinnamon. This practice was not one Zoro was familiar to say the least. In addition to sights and smells he didn't know, the "jazz" and "blues" music that Sanji usually listened to had been replaced by a much different type of music which was inherently and overwhelmingly joyful. Needless to say, Zoro was very annoyed by it.
Sanji was flitting around the living room, humming along to yet another cheery song and cleaning things that already looked clean to Zoro. From the sofa, Zoro watched him. He wanted to ask what Sanji was doing, but after every strange, convoluted answer he'd gotten so far, he didn't feel like he'd have any success, so he did not ask.
"You alright over there? You've been awfully quiet," Sanji called from the doorway, looking at Zoro over his shoulder. The yellow-haired human exited the room briefly and returned with a long, shiny sine-type thing. He put the sparkly vine on the wall in weird slopes and somehow it stuck there, making a design on the wall that was not natural or attractive in any way.
"Yeah," Zoro answered shortly. Had he the knowledge to express what he was feeling, he would have, but he didn't have the right words for it. Something like "dissatisfied" or maybe closer to "pissed off" would be helpful, but he wasn't sure of how to use those words. He could probably do it, but it didn't seem worth the effort.
Sanji stared at Zoro from across the room for a minute, studying him with an odd expression, and then stopped what he was doing. The life-long human strode over to the couch where Zoro was sitting and perched himself on the edge of the cushion beside Zoro. "Something's wrong. Are you really okay?" Sanji asked, frowning worriedly.
I'm not the one acting weird here, Zoro thought, but he only shrugged.
With pursed lips, which was never a good thing, Sanji said, "That's not an answer."
Zoro shrugged again. He started forming his speech from somewhere far away, an automatic response. The words took their time trying to sound genuine and, after a long pause, Zoro finally said, "I'm fine."
oOo
There was absolutely no way that Zoro was fine. He could see it on his face and in his posture and he could hear it in his voice. Sanji wasn't an idiot. He could tell what Zoro was thinking even when Zoro had been a tree, so there was no way he would miss anything now that Zoro was human. But why couldn't Zoro just realize that and tell him what the problem was?
Sanji stared Zoro down, trying to psychically coax the answer from his favorite tree. It didn't work, but he supposed it was worth the effort. With a quiet sigh, Sanji patted Zoro on the hand and left to do more productive things. He could sit and ask all he wanted to, but until Zoro felt like telling him what was wrong—which, judging by past experiences, could be a while—he really had no idea. Zoro often found odd things upsetting, like fresh vegetables and open flames, so anything could be a possibility at that point.
As the cook pulled out a string of colored lights for the mantelpiece, he thought about how it had been almost a whole year since Zoro had become a human. Every time that occurred to him, a smile found its way onto his face. At first he hadn't thought that things would be going well for them after so long, but now that he was there, he couldn't believe that he'd ever doubted Zoro or the magic that brought him to Sanji. The times when they couldn't communicate were gone and as far as he could tell they were never coming back. His life could be classified as a fairy tale, but something wasn't right.
Even though it was coming up on the anniversary of Zoro's humanity—which would be Christmas to the rest of the world—Zoro didn't seem very happy. Sanji thought that maybe Zoro was bad at keeping track of time since he'd been a tree for so long and that could be why he wasn't excited, but he'd been reminding Zoro of the day for the past couple of months, even explaining to him the significance of a one-year time-passage. He'd thought Zoro would be joyous, but obviously he'd been wrong.
From his breakfast island, Sanji could see Zoro sitting very straight on the couch, staring at the smallish fireplace warily. The affection he felt for the odd, green-haired man was so immense that it manifested into a laugh. Even though Zoro was weird and difficult and oftentimes temperamental, whenever he looked at him Sanji knew there was no way he could hold any of it against the treeish man. Even when he wished Zoro would be more open and wondered if that was his fault, all he wanted was for Zoro to be happy.
The string of lights fell from his hands and clacked on the counter top. A dark gloom threatened his demeanor at the thought of all the things that could have been better in his relationship. He'd been through that same routine a million times, getting himself down for no good reason just by thinking about things. He really didn't want to go through it all again.
"Zoro! Get your coat!" Sanji called, an idea hitting him. He swiped his coat off the counter and hurried into the living room to a confused tree man.
"Why?" Zoro asked, visibly alarmed by the sudden exclamation.
The cook seized Zoro's shoulders excitedly, leaning down to speak right by his ear. "We're going out," Sanji said with a grin, and then he went to go find his keys.
oOo
Zoro hated driving. He wasn't the one doing to actual controlling of the unnatural space, the action of piloting which was so nerve wracking to him, but he still didn't like it. Sitting in some closed-in contraption with a restraint across his chest and lap was not something he enjoyed doing and he had told Sanji that many times, but while the human usually left him in peace and didn't make him go, this time he insisted.
"It'll be fun, I promise," Sanji was saying as they passed buildings and people in a blur, but Zoro did not agree, no matter what was in store.
After nearly a year of practice—though it felt much longer and much shorter at the same time—he still did not know where they were going. Granted he had only been driven to a few places, as Sanji only rarely insisted on the drive, but they had walked many places all around town and he had yet to see anything he recognized.
Zoro looked at Sanji, trying to convey his displeasure with his face as he had done long ago with just his bark. It seemed to him that Sanji was pointedly ignoring him and his negative opinions, which was not quite like their usual outings. When they would go out on what Sanji called "dates," the human would always ask if he was having fun or if he'd rather go home and he would always listen no matter what Zoro's opinion was. Zoro liked that much better than the ignoring thing that was happening.
At the end of the very long, very irritating stretch of time spent doing absolutely nothing worth doing, Sanji stopped the contraption and turned to him. "I…" Sanji looked down. He looked like he was going to say something, maybe the thing, but then he sighed. "This'll be an adventure," Sanji told him. The golden-haired human removed their restraints and then kissed Zoro on the cheek, causing him to feel very warm. "I promise," Sanji whispered in his ear before exiting the enclosed space.
Sitting in the quiet, tiny space, the former tree grew very warm in all his layers of fabric. Every time Sanji did something like that, he felt like a stupid sapling experiencing their first summer. He was completely in awe and warm all over for almost no reason. Sanji kissed him every day and he still couldn't get a handle on his stupid human warmth.
The hatch beside him opened and a hand was offered to him which Zoro refused. He planted his feet firmly in three inches of snow and raised himself from the stupid unnatural space without a single wobble. He looked to Sanji and grinned, silently boasting his mastery of balance and independence.
Sanji did not share his enthusiasm on the subject, nor did he return it with any kind of snide comeback. He just smiled sadly, put his hands in his pockets and started walking through the snow.
That wasn't good. Had he messed up? He couldn't think how. Sanji had been in a good enough mood just driving around in the quiet and dark night. What ruined that? He wished he knew. "Wait," Zoro called, slamming the hatch closed accidentally and jogging after Sanji. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see," Sanji said, smirking at Zoro over his shoulder.
The walked for a while over flat, crisp ground with hardly a thing visible aside from the snow and each other. There was one light ahead of them, the bright white kind that looked a little blue and hurt Zoro's eyes, and in the powerful beam of that light there was some kind of tiny room standing alone in the snow. A man came out of the tiny room, bundled in a very large coat and a scarf up to his eyeballs with a blanket draped over his shoulders.
Sanji ran up to the man and appeared to say something to him, and then ran back to Zoro and hooked his elbow around Zoro's arm. "Come on," Sanji urged with a grin, pulling Zoro along a little faster than he was prepared to go. "We're just in time."
oOo
The cook hurried Zoro along as the man who had previously owed him a favor retreated into the booth at the entrance. He was excited to see Zoro's reaction, but he was still a little anxious. Zoro hadn't seemed too gung-ho about the whole trip and Sanji had sort of known he wouldn't be happy about the drive. He'd just been hoping that, despite the fact that he'd practically kidnapped Zoro, there would be some small amount of appreciation and/or happiness to be found in his spur of the moment surprise.
"Slow down," Zoro grumbled, sliding on the snow just enough to be worrisome.
A very small part of Sanji wished Zoro would slip so he could catch him and the thought made him grin, but he slowed down nonetheless. He held on to Zoro's arm, fighting the very strong urge to jump up and down with excitement. His mood was steadily alternating between excited as fuck and too anxious to breathe, but the closer they got to certain events, the more Sanji was leaning towards thrilled.
Fresh, dainty snow began to fall, clinging to the nearly invisible trees in small dusty white sections, only to disappear shortly after. Every breath was visible and Zoro was captivated by the little puffs. Sanji had seen Zoro do many adorable things over the time they'd spent together, but with each new fascination Zoro had Sanji learned he could never pick a favorite thing that Zoro did. Rather than visible breath, his only captivation was Zoro.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Zoro asked, looking faintly put-off in a way that was innocent enough for Sanji to not be offended.
The cook shrugged. "Maa… Who knows?" he teased, grinning at Zoro.
The former tree did not look very impressed and he sucked in a breath to reply when all the trees that had been impossible to see suddenly lit up and silenced him. Hundreds of pine trees were illuminated by innumerable little yellow bulbs, and as they lit up so did Zoro's face.
Zoro turned around in a slow circle, staring wide-eyed and gape-mouthed at all the bright, festive trees. As Sanji watched him, he found himself smiling and at the same time growing unsure. He didn't know if the awe plainly displayed on Zoro's face was good or bad yet.
"What do you think?" Sanji asked anxiously, gesturing vaguely at all the lights.
The green-haired man whirled around to look at Sanji. "It's like daytime," Zoro said, shocked. His eyes danced over the snowy grove, taking in all there was to see with the most beautiful expression Sanji had ever seen. "How did the trees get like this?" Zoro questioned as he stumbled slightly in the snow.
"People decorated them as part of a celebration," Sanji answered somewhat half-assedly, his attention glued to Zoro and nothing else. He trudged forwards a little through the thickening snow and then stopped to wait for Zoro to catch up. "Do you like it?" he asked, just to be sure.
Zoro's awed spinning ceased. "You didn't decorate me," he said. He didn't seem offended in any way by that fact but Sanji felt compelled to justify.
"That's not exactly true. I did give you a scarf once," the cook reminded him with a snotty raise of his eyebrows.
Zoro snorted. "Yeah, and it was annoying as shit," he replied with a face-splitting grin and if Sanji hadn't had so much pride he'd have been laughing.
Instead, he scoffed. "That's why I put it there, Marimo-brain. I knew you were being a shitty tree, so I decided to tie something to one of your branches as long-term revenge!" Sanji told him, completely making up that story right on the spot
Zoro barked a laugh, shaking his head at Sanji. "Sure, that's exactly why you, as an innocent little human, tied a cloth to my branch in winter. Not because you care or anything," he said with a roll of his eyes and a grin on his face.
The cook put his hand out to Zoro. "Obviously not," he agreed. Zoro smirked again and took his hand with a joking grumble about how Sanji was such a rude little human, and they settled into a much less awkward silence than before.
The man at the gate had told him they didn't have long before he shut off all the lights, locked up and went home, but Sanji didn't much care to hurry. He thought at first that he'd need to, since Zoro was being sour, but everything was fine as long as Zoro was happy, and by God he looked happy.
Zoro beamed like a child when a snowflake landed on his coat and Sanji thought for sure Zoro would start a snowball fight at any moment. The former tree let go of Sanji's hand to stray over closer to the decorated greenery; close enough to touch them. He brushed snow lovingly off a branch and combed his fingers through the freshly exposed pine needles. Every time he'd come into contact with a tree since becoming a human he'd acted similarly, but that was the first time that he had smiled while he was at it.
Sanji was free, if only for a moment, of all his worries. Suddenly his hopes for the future weren't grand fantasies or degenerate worst-case scenarios, but rather a peaceful middle ground where he could picture the two of them cooking together and having a date night. Knowing Zoro, it wasn't likely to happen often, if at all, but it was realistic optimism for a change on Sanji's part. He could just breathe easy and let things roll on by just as long as Zoro was happy and he himself wasn't being unreasonable.
"What's over there?" Zoro asked, interrupting Sanji's internal monologue. He was pointing ahead at a dark pile of trees under a large arbor covered in icicle lights and he was moving towards it as Sanji assessed which part of the scene he was questioning.
"Oh, that?" Sanji's nice shoes crunched in the snow as he followed Zoro. "Those are Christmas trees. You take one home and decorate it and put presents under it… It's a tradition," Sanji explained. "I have a fake tree at the house. Do you want to get a real one?"
Zoro turned around slowly and, despite how things had been going, Sanji was dumbfounded by the expression of horror on Zoro's face. "What?" Zoro hissed, backing up against the fallen trees. "That's disgusting! These are my brothers and sisters!"
The cook had not been expecting that reaction. All his optimism was flushed quickly from his mind. Oh shit…
oOo
Zoro couldn't believe his ears. Take one home? Decorate it? They were still alive! He could feel their waning existence when he touched them and he was this close to being able to hear their screams. If he hadn't been domesticated for so long, he'd be sharing their pain and, goddamn it, he wanted to.
"I-I didn't mean- Zoro, don't get the wrong idea-" Sanji was stuttering, trying to apologize, it seemed, but Zoro didn't care.
"There's no way I could get the wrong idea," Zoro cut in. Sanji started towards him but Zoro swatted at Sanji to keep him away. "No! Don't come near me!" he snapped. Somehow, in his mind Zoro knew it wasn't Sanji's fault and that he shouldn't blame him, but why would Sanji take him there in the first place? Did he think the torture of Zoro's brethren would be amusing? Was he just sick like that? Zoro hated to even think about it. He felt nauseated just being there and he wanted to go home but the idea of driving home in a small space with Sanji to another small space with Sanji was not much better.
The golden-haired human was looking at him with those sad eyes that he hated so much and he wanted to stop that but then he was sad and angry about the trees and he didn't know what to do. He tried to say it, to express how very torn he was, and all that came out was a frustrated grunt kind of noise. He supposed that summed up how he felt well enough, but he was trying to use words and the fact that he couldn't caused another frustrated noise to escape him.
"Zoro… I just wasn't thinking, that's all," Sanji said, shaking his head and taking another half-step forward. "I really- I didn't think that this would bother you- Or, well, no, I didn't think at all."
Of course not, Zoro thought but it didn't make it to his lips. Everything he tried to say died quickly and quietly and all he wanted to do was hit something. Why? It didn't make sense. He just couldn't hold on to his human emotions. He really could have benefitted from being a tree right about then so he wouldn't do anything he might regret.
"Come on," Sanji beckoned gently. The yellow-haired human was only a few feet away and he looked scared, which did not bring Zoro much comfort. "We'll go home, okay? I won't make this mistake ever again."
Zoro wished he knew why Sanji looked so sad or why there were so many bad feelings in his chest. He just wanted everything to be simpler. When he was a tree, everything was so much easier because there was nothing he could do, so he didn't have to do anything to maintain their peace. He would just exist and Sanji would do the rest and Zoro wouldn't have to deal with feelings and which ones to act on. "I wish I was still a tree," Zoro uttered miserably.
The moment the words were gone from his mouth he deeply regretted them. There was a fleeting moment during which he believed the words would work and all was silent and still. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to pull the words back to him, but nothing happened. He was relieved that he didn't turn into a tree, elated, almost, and then he was reminded by a sudden gasp that his troubles weren't over.
Zoro opened his eyes. Oh God. He didn't want to look. He shouldn't have opened his eyes. Sanji looked so sad—so heartbroken—and it was his fault. Why was he such an idiot? Sanji had made a mistake by accident and, even though it was one that hurt Zoro, it was still an accident and he repaid him how? By basically saying he wished he'd never become human for Sanji? Shit. He didn't mean to-
"Fucking bastard," Sanji spat in an angry voice so very, very different from how dejected his expression was. He was biting his lower lip and avoiding Zoro's eyes and goddamn it, he'd messed up. "You should've just said something, shitty Marimo," Sanji snapped, and then he spun on his heel and stormed off.
oOo
He considered just going home. Just hopping in his car and driving home by himself to cool off or mope or destroy things or whatever he felt like doing after he had had a chance to process the words fully. But he couldn't do that. Zoro didn't deserve to be left alone in the cold with only the security booth guy to turn to, and besides that Sanji couldn't stand being alone after hearing what Zoro had said, even if his only company was breaking him.
When he got to his car, Sanji kicked a hill of snow and then leaned against the driver's side of the vehicle. He closed his eyes, he took deep breaths, he tried to think of other things, but the lump in his throat was growing by the second. Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose and pretended that would be all he needed to do to keep himself from crossing into a very dark and lonely place.
He could hear someone approaching long before they reached him. Sanji didn't have to look up, nor did he want to. He knew exactly who it was going to be and at the same time as he wanted to hear the words recalled, he didn't want to hear Zoro talk at all.
"Sanji…"
He took in a sharp breath through his nose. "Just get in the car," he ordered quickly, to avoid any and all voice breaking that might occur.
Zoro hesitated in the tense atmosphere and a feeling like the silence was going to be disturbed arose. However, instead of actually saying anything, Zoro grunted and climbed into the car. Sanji did not wait very long to follow suit, and soon they were driving home without a word between them.
During the icy, twenty-minute drive back to their apartment, much to Sanji's chagrin, all he could think about was what would happen next. If Zoro didn't want to be human—or worse yet, didn't want to be with Sanji—then what was he going to do? He would be alone. Sure, he had his friends, but as much as he loved them, there was something missing when he was with them and not Zoro. Rather, Zoro brought in a new component that the others just didn't have. Even if he was a shitty tree, he was Sanji's shitty tree and he loved the fuck out of him. So where would he be without the best part of the past eleven years of his life? That was something he didn't really want to know the answer to.
His mind helpfully offered up a scenario in which he was reduced to a lifeless hull. Sanji swore under his breath. He should never spend any time in his own head, he decided, but the decision did virtually nothing.
They arrived home just past midnight. Hardly any lights were visible from the outside of the apartment building, but inside there were colored beams of light peeking out from under their neighbors' doors. For some reason that Sanji didn't really understand, the sight struck him right in the feelings. He dug his key out of the breast pocket of his coat with a frozen hand and turned the lock as quickly as he could without feeling in his fingers.
As childish as it was, Sanji immediately stalked to his room and shut and locked his bedroom door. He leaned his back against the door frame and slid down to the carpet like a total cliché. He was being too much of an idiot, he knew. He had heard at least a hundred people in his lifetime, including the old woman who'd told him the story about taking care of a single tree for ten years, say that if you love something, you should let it go. It only made sense that after who knows how many years as a tree Zoro would either be excited to be human or wish to go back to his stagnant lifestyle.
His eyes were stinging. He pulled his knees up to his chest and flung his arms over his knees and covered his face. From his chest to the bottoms of his feet, he could feel himself falling apart. The next time he looked in the mirror, he would not be missing any physical pieces. He would survive whatever happened and eventually move on from what felt like the worst tragedy of his life. And maybe he was over-dramatizing the whole situation, but nothing of that magnitude could be imagined. Zoro had said he wished he were still a tree. That happened and that hurt.
A sob came over him as suddenly as a cough. His shoulders shook and his throat ached with the effort of trying to stop what had already begun. He hadn't wanted to cry. In fact, it had been somewhere very low on his list of priorities. But there he was, shutting himself off from the possible confirmation of terrible news, crying against his bedroom door. He was such a coward.
"S-Sanji…?" Zoro knocked on the door lightly. He was slurring like he had done when he was first human, even though all he said was the cook's name. The memory of Zoro as a shaky, adorable, stuttering person who knew next to nothing about being human was like a stab to Sanji's heart and he sobbed that much harder, while still trying to hold it in. "A-are… are- a- ugh..." Something thunked against the door. "Are ee-you… okay?"
oOo
Even with his ear pressed to the door, he could barely hear a thing. There was a tiny noise coming from Sanji's bedroom that sounded kind of like a hiccup, but he wasn't sure what it was. Maybe Sanji had the hiccups, but that seemed very unlikely. Sanji had been very quiet and very strange the whole way home, not to mention how he ran to his room, so Zoro doubted he just suddenly had the hiccups. He just didn't know what was actually going on.
It seemed like Sanji was ignoring him when, after a minute or two, there was no response to his question. Zoro didn't actually blame him for that. He still had to apologize, but the words weren't coming to him. He baffled even himself by asking "are you okay" instead of stating how much he didn't mean what he had said. He was almost entirely sure he was older than Sanji and he had been a human for almost a whole year, and still he couldn't manage it. What was wrong with him?
"O-oi," Zoro said to the door, pressing his palms against it. "W-whuh-wha-ut… Ee-yo-yuua- S-Suh-anj- Argh!" He slammed his head onto the door. He couldn't recall ever being that bad at speaking. Even when he was first human, he could reasonably expect Sanji to understand what he meant to say, but now, after a year, he couldn't get the words to come out right. He was talking to a door in the middle of the night and in near silence with absolutely no pressure on him and he still couldn't manage it. Zoro frowned to himself. It was shameful.
There was a shuffling sound on the other side of the door, then a loud sniff. "Just- just go to bed, okay?" Sanji called through the door. His voice was strange. Zoro didn't like that. "We'll talk… in the morning."
He didn't want to let it be, not just because he wanted to know what was wrong, but also because he hadn't slept by himself even once since becoming a human. Zoro didn't know if he'd be able to sleep without Sanji by his side. But he couldn't think of anything else to do besides leave Sanji alone, since that was what the golden-haired human seemed to want.
Zoro hung his head. "Fine," he said quickly enough that he didn't stutter. He wanted to add that he was sorry or tell Sanji that he wanted to sleep in the bedroom, but a huff was all he could muster before wandering off to the couch.
The blanket on the back of the couch smelled funny and had a hole in it and the pillows on the couch were a weird texture but he was at too many losses with too many much more important things to really care. He took the blanket and a pillow off the couch and brought them over to Sanji's bedroom door. Perhaps, had it not been Sanji on the other side of the door, he wouldn't have bothered with the pillow and blanket, because he didn't really care. But Sanji did and he was already upset so Zoro settled in with unnecessary cloth outside the life-long human's bedroom.
And his eyes would not even close. In fact, as he tried to sleep, his eyes seemed to open wider all by themselves. He wasn't actually thinking of anything, but he couldn't not think at the same time. He just stared into the dim living room, feeling like he'd never sleep again. And maybe he wouldn't. That seemed like a possibility.
The clock on the living room wall was the loudest sound he'd ever heard in his life. It was relentlessly ticking louder than he could ignore, drowning out any sound that might have been happening in Sanji's room. He considered breaking it. He also considered searching for whatever substance had caused Sanji to fall asleep on his roots once upon a winter while spewing all his thoughts about what was bothering him. That would fucking save Zoro's life right about now. But Sanji had never introduced him to any such substance in all their human time together, so he had no idea where he could find it.
In all our human time together… Zoro sighed. It sounded like an ending. And maybe it was, after the clusterfuck that had started out as a regular evening. Maybe Sanji didn't want him anymore. He was making him sleep out in the hall, after all. And he hadn't spoken to him since Zoro had said that stupid, awful thing. He didn't really want to be a tree, especially if it meant that Sanji would shut himself away and be sad, but the words to express that had somehow gotten lost on their way to fruition.
Somewhere in the apartment, there was a creak that set Zoro's nerves on edge. He hoped it had come from Sanji's room. He hoped that Sanji was getting into bed and having about as much luck sleeping as Zoro was. That was rude of him, but he hardly cared. He wasn't going to check himself on the matter of wanting Sanji to feel the same way he did.
It took around two hours for Zoro to fall asleep, he assumed, although it felt like he was up all night. He couldn't get comfortable or clear his mind of all the blurry nothingness to just let go and rest. Zoro had thought he might see the sunrise, but by the time it was morning he couldn't remember whether he'd seen it or not. All he could remember about the previous night was that he was a shitty human being.
The apartment was still quiet, aside from the persistent ticking. He was lying flat on his back outside Sanji's door, staring blankly up at the ceiling, hoping the door would open. It did not. He couldn't even hear if anything was going on inside. Not that it would be any of his business. It would just maybe make him feel a little less like shit. He didn't know how it would do that, but he knew it would.
With a sigh, Zoro sat up and looked around. He stretched the stiffness from his back and neck and then he got up and got ready for the morning. He saw the time displayed over the stove as he passed and he noted that it was six-fourteen in the morning, whatever that meant. Hours and minutes still didn't quite register with him after so long measuring time by how often the sun had passed him, but he did know that it was early. A little too early for his human to be up.
For close to an hour, Zoro piddled around the apartment, waiting for Sanji to come out of his room. When the golden-haired human did emerge, Zoro had just about worked up the words to say and the left him hastily. He stopped mid-rummage through the cabinets and stared at Sanji with his mouth open a little. Zoro tried to get his face under control, but he couldn't help it. He was staring like an idiot, already starting the morning badly.
"Mmmo-ornin'," Zoro managed with as much grace as he could muster.
Sanji looked at him funny, his blue eyes puffy from sleep. "Good morning," he mumbled, reaching for the coffee pot. "How long have you been up?"
Before he could stop himself, Zoro shrugged. He knew Sanji called that a non-answer and really preferred that Zoro use words, but it was a reflex. Talking hadn't worked out so well for him the past few times, so he thought he'd save himself some embarrassment and go for the shrug, but as soon as he'd done it it seemed like the worst thing he could've done. "S-orry. Abow-bout an hourrr," Zoro amended.
The life-long human set the coffee maker and turned to Zoro with a raised eyebrow. Zoro waited for Sanji to mention the previous night or otherwise express his anger, but Sanji only shook his head. "Why were you up that early?" Sanji asked after glancing at the clock on the stove.
"I-" Zoro focused very extremely hard on the words he wanted to say. "I'm not sure I slept."
oOo
The cook felt his eyes widen just a bit. Zoro always slept like a rock and snored like a chainsaw, and Sanji hadn't heard anything last night so he should've known. He wasn't sure exactly how to interpret the news, but somewhere in the vicinity of "good" seemed about right.
"Why not?" Sanji asked, shooting for casual and hitting closer to suspicious in tone.
Zoro frowned. He looked like he was getting flustered again, but Sanji preferred him that way since he was more honest, so he did not offer any words of comfort. "Y-eeyou know… why naw-not," Zoro grumbled quickly with a look that was probably supposed to be meaningful. However, he just looked annoyed.
"I'm not so sure that I do," Sanji said carefully. That was mostly a lie. He was figuring Zoro meant he'd been unable to sleep due to guilt from the night before—or rather, that's what Sanji was hoping. But instead of making the situation easier on Zoro, he decided he'd rather hear Zoro say exactly what he meant. It was evil of him, but the looming sadness in his chest egged him on.
The green-haired man flushed a bright pink. "Never mind," Zoro said and hurried out of the room. Sanji watched him silently as he paced around the living room, messing with his short mossy hair, and then Zoro disappeared into the bedroom.
That was nowhere near the answer that he'd expected and even farther from the one he'd wanted. Coffee be damned, Sanji wanted to run to the restaurant and not come back until he was absolutely sure it was safe and not at all painful to return home, which might be never. But he didn't. He just sat down and on one of the barstools at the breakfast island and planted his face firmly in his hands.
So much for a fresh start, Sanji thought, berating himself for his stupidity. He'd thought that after a good night's sleep—which should have been the first indicator that it would not be true since it was hardly a good night and he barely slept—all his problems from last night would be cleared up enough for him to see his way through them. It appeared that would not be the case. He felt in that moment he'd reached a new level of idiocy. First he'd thought that Zoro wanted to be with him, then he thought his troubles would be resolved overnight. He was a grade-A dispshit he decided.
The morning was a slow and agonizing process that Sanji didn't wish to repeat ever. Zoro avoided him, they didn't speak, tension built, and by the time he had to go to work, he was running out the door. He felt a little guilty for it, but only a little. He was saving himself very selfishly in a situation where he should just talk it out with Zoro and the only regret he seemed to have was that he hadn't left sooner.
But his day did not get better from there. The restaurant was slammed from lunch until closing time and the old man fired him six different times during the dinner rush alone. They were short-staffed since it was so close to Christmas and short-tempered just because. There was nary a smoke break to be had that day and Sanji was really feeling it. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed with a fresh pack of cigarettes and his favorite wine, but with the automatic reminder from his brain that Zoro hated when he smoked, his hopes and dreams were pulled down by the metaphorical tide and drowned ferociously. He still had that to deal with.
The apartment, with its pale bricks and large windows, became a castle of darkness. His door was a portal to certain death. Sanji did not want to go in. He should rightly suck it up and stop being a child, he knew that, but in that situation he could not find the balls to do so. It was all he could do to open the door and walk inside, never mind trying to talk to Zoro. He was just going to make a straight-shot for his bedroom and close himself away for the night again. That was it. If he encountered Zoro, he'd just run faster.
Only he couldn't. When he got to his room he found Zoro sprawled out in the floor by the side of the bed, wrapped in Sanji's best satin pajamas and snoring loud enough to shake the building. What the…?
Sanji dropped his jacket and keys on the bedside table and stood beside Zoro, looking down at him. Zoro was wearing the satin pajama pants, but the shirt was just draped over his chest and half his face in an odd way. There wasn't a blanket in sight and it didn't look like Zoro had just fallen out of bed, so Sanji wasn't sure what had happened that he was only wearing half an outfit and sawing logs in the middle of the floor with the lamp on. If he didn't know better, he'd say Zoro had been cuddling the pajamas because he missed him, but as of last night Sanji knew better.
Perplexed, the cook knelt beside Zoro. He wanted to wake him and ask what he was doing, but then he remembered what Zoro had said that morning. If he really hadn't slept last night, then it would be far too cruel to wake him. That in mind, Sanji decided he should try and make Zoro more comfortable. If it was his last day with Zoro, well, then he'd really spent it poorly up to that point, but he still had a chance to make it better.
Resolved to do good, Sanji slid an arm behind Zoro's knees and the other under his neck and lifted him carefully. He made the hideous mistake of lifting with his back and, with the tree-man two feet off the floor, almost dropped Zoro right back to the carpet. Sanji's muscles jerked uncomfortably into a more stable place and he buckled down and lifted Zoro up until the green-haired man was resting against the cook's chest. Sanji was grunting uncontrollably and he felt like his eyeballs might either pop out or explode, but he managed to get Zoro onto the bed.
Albeit roughly, Sanji set Zoro down near the middle of the bed, his head just below the pillows. Unfortunately, in the process of trying to reclaim his own arms, Sanji fell on top of Zoro and all his efforts at being quiet and careful went out the window.
oOo
Zoro opened one eye first to scope things out. When the first thing he saw was a bright yellow blur, he opened his other eye. He could vaguely remember wallowing in the floor in boredom and sadness, but now he felt like he was on the bed and being crushed by a certain human. He was very, very confused.
"Ah, my bad," Sanji whispered, squirming around and making things move beneath Zoro. "Just go back to sleep."
He had no idea what Sanji was doing, but it was making his back uncomfortable. Zoro rolled over and took Sanji with him, at first only to make himself more comfortable, but when he ended up on top of Sanji he changed his mind. "Hey," Zoro said, his voice coming out rough with sleep. "When did you get home?"
The golden-haired human stared up at him with impossibly wide eyes. "Uhh… Just- just a minute ago. What are you doing?" Sanji started to get up like he thought Zoro would let him. That was not Zoro's intention.
"Welcome back," Zoro said, laying his head in the junction between Sanji's neck and shoulder to keep him from escaping. Sanji made a weird sound like a cough and a groan at the same time before loosely hugging Zoro. The used-to-be tree smiled a little. He was doing it now—his talking and his making Sanji less sad—and he didn't even have to think about it. Now all he had to do was not start thinking about it. "I was waiting for you."
Sanji made a face he could see without looking. "Really?" Sanji questioned. Zoro felt the life-long human's hands relax on Zoro's sides.
He nodded. "You take too long at work," Zoro told the human, really settling in on top of him. Sanji smelled less like smoke and more like sweat than he usually did. Zoro thought that was a good thing for a moment, but then he remembered how Sanji preferred to smell like smoke and Zoro became unhappy. "Did something happen?" he asked.
"What- No, it was just… a long day. Why do you ask?" Sanji was talking right into Zoro's ear and he sounded unsettled. The golden-haired human turned his head away from Zoro, apparently seeking a way out of the situation. In response, Zoro closed his eyes and pretended he was going back to sleep.
"No reason. You just smell different," Zoro said in a sigh. He really should never have started thinking about things, because now that he wasn't trying it was working like a charm. "Better."
Suddenly, the life-long human rolled to the right so that he and Zoro were facing each other on their sides, rather than being stacked on top of one another. "You're being weird. Don't smell me," Sanji told him seriously, staring right into his eyes.
That was so unfair. Zoro listened to Sanji say all the time about things that Zoro did that were unfair and he didn't know what right Sanji thought he had saying that when he had those eyes. They were bluer than the sky and brighter than the moon and every time he looked into them, he felt like he was swimming in Sanji's soul. It was often too much for him and right then was no exception.
Zoro pulled Sanji to him and kissed the human. He knew that Sanji may still be upset with him, but he also knew that the moment he took any initiative—which was an occasion he purposefully reserved for when he really needed to get Sanji to listen to him—all previous causes and feelings were abruptly forgotten in favor of much more preferable things.
Sanji kissed him back with unanticipated fervor. Zoro felt more human than he had in weeks with the simple contact. It was like he was floating in mid-air, too high to see the ground. He was out of his element and he wanted to stop, but it was exhilarating and he couldn't stop. But then Sanji put his hand on Zoro's cheek and scooted closer to him and he didn't want to stop anymore.
Sooner than he wanted to, they separated. Sanji rolled away too fast for Zoro to do anything about it, and then the golden-haired human was standing far beyond Zoro's reach, looking disheveled and off-balance.
"Jesus… Fuck, sorry, Zoro, just- you- I mean- I thought- just, what is going on?" Sanji grabbed at his own hair and paced the length of the bed back and forth.
Zoro frowned. "What are you talking about?" he asked, pushing himself up on his elbows. And then he realized just a second too late to avoid hurting feelings and he was such an idiot. Not thinking about anything to succeed at talking didn't help when he said the wrong things. He was confused with the situation himself, and he was on the giving end of the pain. Zoro had completely blanked on what he'd said the night before and now he was being stared at with those eyes that were so upset and he knew he was well and truly stupid.
"What am I talking about? What am I talking about?" Sanji gawked at him and flung his arms out. "Well I fucking wonder! One minute you wish you were still a tree, the next minute you wanna make out? What the hell? I don't fucking get it."
Zoro tried to keep up, but his words started to stutter again and he couldn't get them out before Sanji was talking again.
"I mean, you're the one who said it. It's not like I said I wished you were still a tree—that would be different. You said you didn't want to be with me, okay, so what the fuck is going on? I don't understand whatever shitty logic you have going here!"
Oh, hell. He couldn't find the words fast enough to keep the meltdown at bay. Sanji was looking watery and angry and Zoro wished that he could stop being retarded and just say what he meant to say, but what he meant to say was buried deep under all the half-syllables and broken words. "I- I- Doh-don't ge-et ups-upse-et! I di-didn't m-mean-"
"Look- I know that taking you to get a tree was a shitty fucking idea and you were pretty damn angry, but what the fuck? I apologized and I just-" Sanji inhaled sharply and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit," the human muttered bitterly. "I can't deal with this right now."
Sanji started to leave the room, shoulders hunched and eyes squeezed shut and Zoro launched himself from the bed to catch up before he squandered every opportunity he had to take back what he said.
"Wait, Sa-anji!" Zoro grabbed the life-long human by the arm and turned him around. He felt the words surfacing with an intensity that could make them clear as day or completely indistinguishable. It seemed like forever that the word vomit was working its way up, but before Sanji could speak again it was coming up and Zoro had absolutely no control anymore. "Ididn'tmeanit!" he blurted in a single roll of the tongue.
Whenever anyone spewed things like that in the "movies" and "tee-vee" that Sanji liked, everything stopped. That had happened a few times in Zoro's life as a human as well, only this time it didn't.
"Then why did you fucking say it?" Sanji countered quickly, ripping his arm out of Zoro's grip. "You know what that's like? It sounded like- like one stupid mistake was enough to make you wish we'd never been together! I feel like you're going to leave and I don't want you to leave, but above that I don't want you to give me fucking hope! That's too fucking much for me, Zoro."
oOo
He'd intended to leave it be. He wasn't going to say anything until he absolutely had to, but then Zoro cozied up to him, got past his defenses, and there he was shouting like a girl about something that could hardly be helped. And Zoro, the fucking bastard, had the nerve to look confused when Sanji was the one that may have been strung along for a whole year. Their anniversary was in two days and now he was having a breakdown about the only thing that bothered him on any given day in his life.
"Sl-ow dow-down," Zoro pleaded with a frustrated expression. Sanji knew he was trying to respond and if the cook were the slightest bit more level-headed he'd be letting Zoro defend himself, but he was letting everything out at once and he couldn't stop his own roll even if he wanted to.
"No," Sanji shot down quickly. "I won't slow down. We've been at this for a year. A year! I shouldn't have to slow down anymore and I shouldn't have to explain myself! Y'know what? You're a person. A fully fledged, entirely capable human being, so argue back. Impress me!"
Zoro was scowling deeply, his fists clenched at his sides. He did not seem to like Sanji's idea, or really anything that the cook had been saying, but Sanji did not feel bad for him. Sanji felt bad for himself and for their relationship if it could even be called that and he just generally felt bad, but none of it was for Zoro.
"Come on, then! If you didn't mean it, fucking tell me what you did mean!" Sanji goaded, loud and persistent and annoying even to himself, and if Zoro hadn't hated him before he surely would soon if Sanji kept going like that. They had gotten along so hideously well for so, so long, only fighting occasionally, but never spanning more than a few hours. Insults were tossed around on a daily basis in amicable context, but nothing happened that was even close to as bad as this.
The green-haired man was struggling to speak, stuttering out the same partial syllable again and again, never giving enough for Sanji to figure out what he was saying. It was frustrating for him, being left to hover in limbo between confirmation of a horrible thing and terrible hope for a wonderful thing, but in his heart of hearts he felt that Zoro was almost as messed up about it as he was, even if Zoro didn't have any right.
"I-" Zoro managed with a snarling face, only to groan and start all over again. He kept uttering the same half-I that was really starting to bug the shit out of Sanji. The hope that he'd had was steadily flowing out through the bottoms of his feet and he just wanted to cry and explode and go to bed and never come out again, but he couldn't do any of that. His previous resolution of not saying anything was thoroughly destroyed, to the point that he couldn't leave it alone.
"You what? What are you trying to say?" Sanji narrowed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "Are you even going to say anything? Or are you just wasting both of our time?"
Zoro made something of a growling noise. "St-op that! It-it's impppo-ortant!"
"Is it?" He was being cruel. He could taste the venom in his own words, but he couldn't stop. "Is it important? Is it going to end everything? Are you going to say you're 'breaking up' with me or whatever? Because if that's it, save us both some time and energy and just nod, okay?" He hated himself. He was bullying the one person he truly cared about into leaving him and he didn't even know for sure that that's what was happening. Almost everything pointed to that, everything Zoro had said and the way he'd been acting lately, but then there was the kiss—God, he couldn't even think about it. Zoro rarely ever did things like that and the fact that he had the day after- No, not thinking about it.
Though the horrible part of him and his sinking stomach thought that Zoro would nod and that would be that, the green-haired man surprised him. Zoro shook his head vigorously, stuttering out a "no" that sounded gruff and, even more surprising, honest.
But now Sanji really didn't get it because if that wasn't the case, then why had Zoro stabbed him in his only insecurity? The one thing he cared about was being with Zoro and it had seemed like that was an understood, untouchable truth—but if all of that was true, then why would Zoro say he wished he were still a tree if he knew that it would break Sanji's heart and if that was something he didn't want? It was too much.
"What then?" Sanji tried to ask with the same fury he'd been coasting on, but it came out in a pathetic whiny noise. "If you didn't mean it and you don't want to leave me, then why would you say that? I just don't get it." His throat was sore and his eyes were stinging and he had absolutely no idea what he was going to do. Sanji wanted to leave in every direction at once and at the same time he couldn't move. His life had become such an impossible convoluted drama—at this point he was just waiting to wake up on the couch in front of the television with Zoro in his arms and realize it was all a bad dream.
Zoro looked at him with wide eyes. The green-haired man reached out to Sanji with both hands, shaking all the way up to his arms. "H-hold on! D-on't beeee sa-ad… I ha-avennnn't f-fin-finished ye-et!" Zoro placed his shaky hands on Sanji's shoulders. "I… I…"
Sanji looked at the dark hands on him and felt a deep crease forming between his brows. His brain was slowing down. Something gave him the impression of importance, but he didn't know what or why. He couldn't interrupt this time.
"I…" Zoro scrunched his face up and swallowed hard. "I…" His grip tightened on Sanji's shoulders. "I… I luh… I love you."
oOo
Zoro closed his eyes as tight as he could. He was petrified and relieved at the same time. He had just leaped right over his biggest word hurdle and though he thought he'd clam up and never speak again after uttering the impossible words, it seemed he'd just opened the floodgate. "I-I didn't say that to hu-hurt your feeeelings, r-really! St-op being so d-amn se-ensitive! I-it was an a-accident and I was own-only thinking about sh-sharing thou-ghts and fee-eelings with the o-other trees, tha-at's all! Ob-obviously I di-dn't mean to u-upset you, da-art brow!" Zoro said it all with as little air as he felt was humanly possible and at the end he just had to catch his breath.
The silence that followed his massive ejection of all the embarrassing words he had to spare was deafening. He couldn't open his eyes and see what Sanji's face looked like if he was still upset, and he couldn't turn and run like he felt like doing. All he could do was stand in a perpetual flinch, waiting.
"You…" He'd forgotten about the shoulders in his grip, but he remembered them when they shrugged off his hands. "Do you mean that?"
The question gave him pause. They'd just been having an issue about whether he meant something or not, so he wasn't sure what the right answer was. Whenever he wasn't sure about what was right or wrong, though, he always went with his gut, and his gut told him to tell the truth. "Yeeees," Zoro answered hesitantly.
Everything had just fallen silent again when Zoro's face was suddenly captured between two cold hands and pulled forward. His eyes flew open in time to catch a glimpse of blue eyes and blond lashes before Sanji joined with him in all the right ways. The bed wasn't close enough and the couch was even farther but that was not an issue after the first split second. Another stupid fleeting matter that occurred to him was to ask if he was forgiven or if Sanji was messing with him, but the human was reminding him without words how very shirtless he was and nothing mattered except the man in front of him.
Sanji kissed him long and hard and right as Zoro felt they were nearly in each other's skin, the golden-haired human broke away. "You-" Sanji paused, catching his breath so close to Zoro's face that he was almost kissing him again. "I love you so fucking much, you asshole, why didn't you say anything sooner?" Sanji huffed and then they were intertwined again and why did it even matter? He'd said it. The right thing. The rightest thing he would ever say in his life.
oOo
"Keep them closed!" Sanji told him again, leading him by the hand through the cold. He had insisted they go for a drive and that Zoro close his eyes so as to be surprised at whatever destination they reached. Being the idiot that he so frequently was, Zoro had obliged.
Despite Sanji's insistence that he not look, Zoro thought he knew where they were. Leaves and twigs crunched under his boots and the air was crisp and smelled like frost and home. To avoid hurting Sanji's feelings, he only grinned and asked where they were as if he didn't know.
"Careful," Sanji cautioned and a second later Zoro heard him stumble.
"Careful," Zoro mimicked with a snort. Sanji kicked him jokingly in the shin.
It had been two days since they made up. Zoro had thought that everything would go back to normal after that, but he had been wrong. Situations he hadn't realized were tense before were smoothed out and he was almost completely past the stuttering and Sanji smiled so much more after Zoro had apologized. All of the sudden, though they still bickered regularly and called each other rude names for fun, they were getting along royally. They weren't lovebirds and they never would be, but that was only because "sweetheart" was "Marimo" and "darling" was "crappy cook." That was their affection.
"Okay, stop right here. Don't open your eyes yet." Sanji's hand squeezed his and then slipped out of his reach. "No peeking! I just have to fix this one thing. God damn birds…"
Zoro waited patiently with a surprisingly cold hand as Sanji rustled around and muttered about various woodland creatures. The urge to look was made stronger by Sanji's insistence that he not open his eyes, but he resisted. "Can I look now?" Zoro asked cheekily.
Sanji laughed. "Never. This is all just a ruse. There's actually nothing here," the life-long human said in a joking voice and Zoro could picture him gesturing exaggeratedly with that shitty smirk on his face. "Go on. Open them."
Shaking his head, Zoro moved his left hand out from in front of his face and opened his eyes. The light was abnormally bright at first, causing him to squint and duck his head. He was somehow unused to the sight of the morning sun filtering through wispy clouds, but he adapted after a moment at which point he had to blink a few times just to be sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing.
It took him only a second to recognize the space as his former home. It was his place in the woods with his same neighbors all grey and bare, only in his place was a very odd thing. Thin, shiny branches that didn't look at all like real wood were sprouting from a larger, perfectly straight trunk that was silver and weird and he was going to ask why Sanji was showing him a fake tree living in his spot, but then he saw the leaves. They had been invisible at first, but as the breeze picked up he could see hundreds of little color flickers tied to the fake branches. They were just small squares that were white on one side, not anything he was familiar with, but the sight of them pulled him forward.
Sanji stood right beside the shiny fake tree and as Zoro approached he pulled one of the leaves down. He held it out to Zoro without taking it off the branch and the green-haired man accepted the leaf with numb fingers. The white side had little scribbles on it, human words that Zoro really wasn't very good at reading yet. He spent a short moment trying to translate the marks in his brain, but then he flipped the leaf over to see what the colored side was.
"What-?" He couldn't think of the words to continue. On the colored side was himself and Sanji, scowling and grinning respectively. Their likenesses were captured magically and shrunk down until they were barely bigger than his palm and flat as a real leaf. He realized after a minute that it was a picture, but he had never seen one of him and Sanji together. Zoro hadn't even been aware that a picture had been made of him.
Sanji smiled at him behind the picture. "Do you like it?" the life-long human asked gently.
Zoro took another long look at the picture and then let it go, looking instead at Sanji. "You…" He shook his head, a grin inching across his face. "Last time you asked that… You remember what happened, don't you?"
The yellow-haired human's smile dropped like a stone. He started to curse and apologize at the same time, but Zoro raised his eyebrows once and Sanji stopped immediately. Several seconds floated silently by on the wind before Sanji laughed through his nose and shook his head. "Don't do that to me, bastard," he lectured, slapping the side of Zoro's shoulder with an unintimidating "poof" against Zoro's winter jacket.
Zoro winked at him, an action he'd only recently learned. "Shitheads can't be choosers. That's how the saying goes, right?" he questioned with a grin.
"Something like that," Sanji told him, stepping closer until their cold noses were touching. "But honestly. Is this…?" he trailed off. Their puffs of breath collided in front of Zoro's eyes. "Is it at least less bad than my other surprise?"
He nodded, bumping foreheads with Sanji. "Yeah. A shit-ton better. No offense."
"Sure," Sanji said mock-skeptically. "None taken. Although, in my defense, you did overreact."
Zoro rolled his eyes. He felt like the subject should be tense and awkward, but it wasn't. It was a chapter finished and only to be revisited with amusement. "You didn't really help that," Zoro tossed back with a snort.
"Are you kidding? I'm the most helpful man on the island!" Sanji rested his elbows on Zoro's shoulders and flipped his hair back with a toss of his head. "Not to mention debonair as hell."
The green-haired man laughed and rolled his eyes away as best he could standing nose-to-nose with Sanji. "Whatever, idiot."
Sanji grinned. He hugged Zoro quickly, his warmth briefly gracing Zoro's frozen cheek, and then Sanji whirled around to grab another fake leaf. The golden-haired human held the picture up to Zoro.
Happy birthday. Slash anniversary. Slash Christmas," Sanji said with a chuckle.
The picture was of the two of them in a bright place, stuck in a laugh about something he couldn't remember. It made him feel warm despite the icy air around him—and then he thought of something. "Birthday?" Zoro questioned.
Sanji raised an eyebrow. "What about it? I thought we'd already discussed the meaning of birthdays."
"That's not what I mean. What I mean is I don't want it to be the same," Zoro explained, scrunching his nose. He knew from Sanji's numerous explanations that birthdays were celebrations of the time that humans start existing after their born. He did not understand that concept, since he was most likely carried to his spot on a breeze one spring and grown by Mother Nature, but he did not argue after having celebrated Sanji's birthday very early into his human days. It was important to humans, the birthday ritual. He also knew from similar explanations bestowed upon him by Sanji that anniversaries were important celebrations of a year spent doing something good, but mostly relationships, he had said. Those things, although he was neutral about them, made Sanji happy, and he didn't mind letting that be and even indulging. But this…
"The same? As what? Our anniversary?" Sanji didn't look offended, but his raised eyebrow went from questioning to slightly annoyed. "Because that's really hard to help, you know. You were 'born,' so to speak, on the same day we got together, so I thought it was fine-"
"No, that's not what I mean," Zoro stopped him, shaking his head to thoroughly halt the thought process. "I don't have a problem with our anniversary. It's… That other thing. That- that Christmas thing. The occasion that makes people chop down trees and plant them in their houses and put shiny things on them." Zoro curled his lip in disgust and shook his head again. "Since you seem to like that sadistic tradition, our anniversary can stay, but… since I wasn't actually born on this day, I don't want to be… I don't know, celebrated on the same day as that sick-fuck holiday."
Sanji blinked once, both his eyebrows raised. A moment later, he burst out laughing. "Wow, say what you really feel, Zoro," he gasped between high-pitched bouts of laughter.
"I did…?" Zoro frowned in confusion and Sanji only laughed harder. "What's so funny?" Zoro asked, wondering if he should be worried or offended.
After a minute or two of hysterical laughter, Sanji calmed down. He wiped his eyes with a gloved finger and turned his lingering smile on Zoro. "Okay. What day would you want to have your birthday on?" Sanji asked him, absently reaching up to touch one of the shiny fake branches.
Zoro hadn't thought about that. He didn't have a very good handle on human days—units of measurement in general—so it was difficult to think of anything. He didn't even know what day it was right then. "I don't know," he told Sanji, glancing up at the pictures dancing in the light breeze. "Something that's easy to remember."
"Hmm. Okayyyy… How about- No, I know someone with that birthday. Then- Well, you're not really a summer person, huh?" Sanji murmured random odd things under his breath that Zoro could see more than he could hear, tapping a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "How about November eleventh?" Sanji suggested after a minute, and Zoro hadn't the faintest idea when that was. "It's just eleven eleven, that's all you'd need to remember. Four ones in a row."
"When is that?" Zoro asked, slightly annoyed that he had to say anything at all. Sanji should have realized by then that he wasn't good about time passages.
The golden-haired human shrugged and stepped back towards Zoro again. "Eh, more than a month ago. So, what do you think?"
"It's good, I guess. Far enough away from this godforsaken day… Yeah, that's fine."
"Yeah?" Sanji asked, raising a curly brow and smirking.
"Are you slow? I already said it's fine." Zoro was really starting to wonder what went through Sanji's head that he felt the need to make Zoro repeat himself.
"Then, you know what that means?" Sanji questioned, sticking his hands in Zoro's jacket pockets. He tilted his head down and looked up through his lashes at Zoro. "We missed your birthday."
The words made no difference in Zoro's mind, but the actions were slowly clicking into place. "I guess so," he said, nodding slowly. "That's too bad."
Sanji hummed his agreement. "Please, oh, please don't be sad, Zoro," he said with a stupid, beautiful grin on his face. "I promise to make it up to you~!"
Zoro laughed. "If you insist."
To believe this started as a 2k idea... xD What do you think? Worthy of the series? Satisfying? Total ship? (meant to type "shit," but I messed up. Decided to keep it. xD)