Jane is in her normal seat by the window when I enter the front parlour, no one else is home today so I organise my things and then sit quietly, waiting for her to turn and recognise me. After a few moments I clear my throat and ask if she would like to see what I've written so far. I see her nibble on the corner of her lip and then shake her head.

"No, I trust you. If I didn't I wouldn't have let you start this."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jane. Now you had said that you recognised his voice?"

"Yes, but of course, until my time on the Citadel I had never thought Turians really sounded different from each other. I wasn't sure what to do. I mean he was a Spectre, and even I knew they were above the law. To make matters worse, it brought back feelings that I had hidden since finding some sort of peace in myself and my new life on the Citadel. That wasn't the only thing that changed, but I'm getting ahead of myself again."

ooOoo

Nausea was the first thing to hit Jane as Garrus gave her a sideways look as he left the office with the Turian Saren. It was like she didn't know which direction to go first. Should she follow them? She stood and moved towards the door, but paused just on the other side of the wall as Saren stopped Garrus.

"I can claim my property myself, thank you for recovering it."

Funny thought Jane, he doesn't sound grateful, the tone seemed more annoyed than anything.

"Then is there something you need from me, Sir?"

Saren eyed the Turian in front of him his mandibles were pulled tightly to his face and his arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned back. He looked just as annoyed as he sounded.

"I hear you've been saddled with a Human partner. That's not going to help that Spectre application that I've seen cross my desk."

"Excuse me, Sir, Shepard is proving a fine officer, as a military attaché' I couldn't have asked for better. Her presence puts the rest of the humans at ease and she has been able to keep the peace with them in a way I could never hope to."

Sarens eyes narrowed at the tone Garrus used, Jane had heard it too. His voice had dropped and was almost soft when he had spoken about her.

"That may be, but she is still an outsider here, and I want you to keep me informed as to her mission here."

"I'm sorry, Sir. I'm not sure I know what you mean. Shepards mission as far as I know it is to act as the MP here for the ambassador and the humans now stationed at the Citadel."

"If that's what you really believe, then you aren't as perceptive as I thought. And here I thought you had what it takes to be a Spectre."

Garrus' reaction was instant, he became on edge. She had seen this before, it normally came before a conflict, or when he got an order he didn't like, and she held her breath waiting for his reaction.

"Sir, if that will be all, I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on."

"No that won't be all, Vakarian, but since you're not getting the drift, let me make it perfectly clear. I will personally destroy any chance you ever had at becoming a Spectre if you don't do as I say when I fucking say it. And you'd do well to distance yourself from it." Saren leaned in towards Garrus and seemed to inhale deeply.

"I just hope you haven't slept with it yet. You smell like a human." He looked thoroughly disgusted and leaned back pointing a talon at Garrus' chest. "Now think about what I said, I'm going to be on the Citadel for at least a month, or until the Council has need of me. I'll be expecting a report in a week. Now, that will be all."

Saren turned from Garrus and lifted his head towards the office where Jane stood; she took a quick step back, but not before Saren saw her and gave her a smile that was anything but kind.

He knew her, that look told her everything she needed to know. Before she could think she grabbed her things and made for the exit and her apartment, she had to get out of there before she did something to start an interstellar incident.

Garrus watched Saren leave before he finally released the breath he was holding. If Saren thought he could threaten him or Jane, he had another thing coming. The Spectres might have been that important to him, but not to Garrus. Not if it meant hurting Jane.

The office was empty when he returned, except for the lingering scent of something citrus, it was something that Jane washed her hair with and it was fresh, clean and so her.

It caused a knot in his stomach just thinking about what Saren had said. They had come so far, just for something like this to happen. What did Saren think he was doing? Why was he so concerned about Jane? Without another thought Garrus left to find Jane.

ooOoo

Jane's apartment sounded more like a nightclub when he keyed in his code and entered. The music was blaring and he could hear her treadmill. Exercises and music meant she was upset. He knew better than to interrupt when she was upset. He took to pacing the front room, letting the music even out his thoughts. At least she had decent taste in music he mused as he waited.

As he paced the room, he stopped in front of the picture of Kaidan and her, it was now face down. Lifting it gently, he placed it upright; he was still staring at the bright eyed smiling Jane in the photo when the music shut off. She had looked more like this photo in the past weeks and he would do anything to keep those haunted dark looks from her face.

"What do you want, Garrus? I haven't had time to report to my overlords, so I don't think you'll have anything to report yet."

"Jane, don't do that. I'd never do that to you."

Dragging the towel she held over her face she nodded.

"I know."

"Then why bolt? Jane, if you know I'd never do anything like that to you, why would you run from me?"

"I wasn't running from you, Garrus. I had to put distance between myself and him."

"Do you know him?"

"Not really, no. But I've ran into him before, before the war ended." She stopped and Garrus thought she almost looked pained."

"You can talk about it, if it's something about the war, you know I'll understand."

"I'm not sure you would believe me if I told you, hell I'm not sure I believe me."

Garrus chuckled before shaking his head and holding out a hand towards her.

"There are a lot of things you are Jane Shepard. A liar isn't one of them."

When she still didn't start he motioned towards the picture of Kaidan and her.

"I fixed your picture."

"I turned it over on purpose."

"I figured, but you didn't need to, unless you feel like you're doing something wrong, because in that case, we shouldn't be doing it."

"Garrus," it was said in a defensive tone with a slight roll of her eyes.

"Well if it's not wrong, then why?"

She gave a weak shrug, "I know that we aren't doing anything wrong, it's just hard to get used to." She finally wrapped her hand around the talon of his hand that he was holding out for her, and he pulled her closer to him.

"Mmm, I love how you smell, have I told you that?" It was said with a deep rumble that coursed down Jane's spine.

"I think you just did."

"Yes, well, it's true." Nuzzling her neck, he had to hold himself back from nipping her at the base of her throat, the nuzzle cause a little hum of pleasure from Jane. She turned her face and kissed him gently. He chuckled low as she kissed him like a human. She stared up at him in confusion and then embarrassment.

"Show me?" She asked in a voice so light that he wondered for a moment if he had imagined it.

He motioned to his mandible and she kissed him there gently as he brought up her hand until she was kissing and stroking his mandibles. He ran his taloned hands over her shoulders and with a groan set her back from him.

"It doesn't feel wrong, Jane."

"I know, it feels right this thing between you and I. But if it's right, why do we hide it? We don't even say that we're dating to each other; it's just awkward conversations and this stolen kiss. Don't get me wrong, I understand why we don't. I mean look how Saren reacted."

"I don't care what they think, let them all know. Jane Shepard, will you be my Girlfriend?"

Jane laughed and her green eyes sparked.

"Where did you hear that?"

He shrugged, "One of the human officers talks about his girlfriend, they go out to dinner, movies and well other things."

Jane laughed again because the way his mandibles fluttered when he mentioned other things made her think if he could blush, he'd be bright red.

"Well, Garrus that was oddly official, but yes, I want to be your Girlfriend." He picked her up and nuzzled her neck again before sitting on the couch with her on his lap.

Her eyes looked over to the picture and she didn't feel the same twinge of guilt she had before. Garrus followed her gaze and he smiled, "Your past made you what you are, I wouldn't change any of it, and he was a big part of that. Don't get rid of it, it's a part of you. Just as what we have now is."

Nodding she turned and locked her eyes with his. "I need to tell you now, about Saren."

He gave a single nod but remained silent as Jane began, "Remember how I told you about the last mission we were sent on in the war? The one where the Turian officer hurt Kaidan? That Turian was Saren."

Garrus lifted a brow plate while tapping his talons against his leg. "I believe you."

A sigh of relief answered him and he smiled. "Don't act so shocked."

She laughed and then bit down on her lip. "I'm not sure what to do about it though, I mean, it was war right?"

Garrus thought about it for a moment before shaking his head, "I'd at least tell Anderson, I mean sure it was War, but what you told me was going on in that cave, that doesn't sound like any part of the War I was aware of."

"I guess, but I don't want to get you involved in this, you heard him, he didn't even like you being my partner at C-sec, I think he remembers me."

"Well you are pretty unforgettable, but seriously I'm involved with you, Jane, so I'm involved in this. Tell Anderson and I'll back you up one-hundred percent."

He leaned forward and nipped her lightly on the shoulder and she laughed and kissed him on the mandible.

"You like biting now do you?" Her eyes were playful and Garrus nodded silently lest he show her how much.

"I guess I have a lot to learn." She moved towards her bedroom.

"I need a shower, and then I'll head over to the Embassy."

"Alright, I'll head back to my place, dinner after?"

Shucking off her shirt and pants she stepped back out into the front room in only her undergarments.

His eyes flared as she smiled.

"Okay, I'll see you later, and you can teach me more about what you like."

She disappeared into her room and Garrus groaned as he stood, fighting the urge to follow her.

Slowly Vakarian, don't go barging in her room, she just kissed you today, don't get carried away.

He thought he was resolved until he heard the water from the shower kick on and just the thought was enough to drive him insane. He bolted for the door before he could change his mind.

ooOoo

Jane had to force herself to not fidget as she waited for Anderson, the fact she now had two things to tell him was causing her pulse to beat erratically. She took a deep breath, allowed the panic to set in as she counted to five. Then she locked it down and forced her pulse to slow and her head to clear as she heard the doors slide open.

"Shepard, I heard you finally got a hit on that object you and Vakarian found."

"Yes, sir that kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. The person who came looking for it was a Spectre."

"Yes, I know Saren, Shepard, what is this about?"

"The incident that happened with Kaidan, the target you wanted us to take down in that cave, the one that hurt Kaidan, it was him, Saren."

The air in the room almost seemed to go still with the silence that followed her statement. Until finally after what seemed an eternity Anderson cleared his throat and motioned towards his office.

"Shepard, would you join me in my office please?"

"Yes, sir, of course, but you secretary said you had a meeting in," Anderson held up a hand and then motioned towards a chair for her to have a seat.

"How do you know it was Saren? I thought you said you weren't able to get a good look at the Turian that did this?"

"I know, but I recognized his voice, Sir. And there is just something about him. I'm sure it was him, Sir."

Was that relief she had just seen wash over Anderson's face?

"I will make note of it, Shepard and have everyone I can looking into it."

She nodded, and something about his tone told her not to push, she wanted to, she wanted him to tell her why it seemed like he already knew. Instead she broached the next subject.

"Sir, I want you to know that Garrus Vakarian and I have entered into a relationship. It seems that C-sec doesn't have a problem with fraternisation. Also doesn't seem that Turians have any issue with it. I just wanted you to know, as our rules are quite different."

Anderson quirked an eyebrow before a broad smile broke across his face. "I think it's fantastic, Shepard. It's not like he's Alliance, don't worry so much. This is a good step for you."

"You mean, Sir, you don't mind that he's a," Her thought trailed off as he shook his head.

"A Turian, no I don't mind, in fact, Shepard I think it's fantastic. It's good for relations, and really good for you, solid Military man Vakarian. Now, I don't want you to worry about this Saren situation, I'll speak to Admiral Hackett about it and I'll get back to you. In the meantime, keep up the good work with C-sec. I hear incidents in the clubs are down since you came on board. I knew I could count on you, Jane."

She smiled at his use of her given name and stood with a salute and waited to be dismissed.

Anderson looked up from something on his desk as if he had just remembered something important.

"Oh, Shepard, I almost forgot, I was going to forward this to you, but since you're here I'll just tell you. Your brother, Major Shepard is going to be doing a tour here at the Citadel, for your parents actually, he mentioned that it's your birthday; he wants to set up a dinner. You can contact his aid here and let them know what time would work for you." A beep at his console took his attention off her as he answered.

"Captain, Jim Ryan is here for you." Came the light voice of his secretary.

"Yes, of course, show him in. You're dismissed, Shepard."

As she was escorted from the room a man in a very expensive suit entered the room, she turned her head and saw him light a cigarette just as the doors closed behind her.

ooOoo

Jane found Garrus at their normal restaurant, it was quiet here, somewhere they were known, where people knew they were partners, and wouldn't judge them. Though, really they were more than just partners. Taking her seat she wasn't sure where to start, her mouth opened a few times she knew, but nothing came out.

Garrus watched her gnaw on her lower lip until he was sure she was going to make it bleed.

"What is it, Jane you look pale, well you know, more so than normal for you."

He smiled but she didn't return it, just sat looking thoughtful. He held out his hand for her across the table and she took it without even thinking, much to his pleasure.

"My brother wants me to make an appointment to have dinner with me, for my birthday."

Garrus didn't say anything just sipped the Turian brandy in front of him as she waved their bartender down and ordered a beer.

"I mean, really? He wants me to make an appointment? He didn't even message me himself; he messaged Captain Anderson, what the hell is that?"

"Well maybe he wasn't sure how you'd handle hearing from him after so many years, I mean when was the last time you really spoke to him?"

She paused, her face screwed up in thought.

"It's been at least ten years."

"He might have thought it would be awkward."

"Yes, well why ask for me at all?"

"You'll have to make an appointment to find that out." She looked up and he smirked, the look of annoyance faded and she swatted at him.

"You might want to wipe that smug look off your face; you're going with me you know."

The smirk did fade, as his mandibles pulled in close to his face she sighed and squeezed his hand.

"You're the one that said we shouldn't hide this, that we have nothing to feel guilty about, so?"

"But your brother, he'll tell your parents of course."

She shook her head, "I've always been a disappointment to them, it's not like this will change that. Biotic freak remember? So what, now I'm biotic freak that's dating a Turian."

"Sounds just about like what I think about my father too. And that's one of the things I love about you, you get it."

She smiled, "Yeah, I love that about you too. You understand, not just about that, but the war. It's really hard to talk to people that weren't there about it."

"I know. And you realize that the L word just got thrown around quite casually."

"I'm aware, now stow it and order, Vakarian." The authority in her voice was softened with a smile and a tap of her foot under the table.

"So, what about the Saren issue?" Garrus asked as he finished ordering.

"I don't think Anderson liked me asking questions about him, maybe it's because he's a Spectre, but he changed the subject pretty damn fast."

"Could be, I'll poke around and see what I can shake loose, there has to be someone that knows something."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Garrus. If it was him, then I think Anderson must now realize that he sent my team in there to kill a Spectre, not really something he wants just aired around you know?"

"Yeah, I can see that. Well then, I'll leave it up to you where we go from here."

"Thanks, I think for now we trust Anderson, as far as where we go from here? Why, to dinner with my brother, you know after I make an appointment."

They laughed even though there was something bothering her, something she couldn't put her finger on, and it wasn't her appointment with her brother.

ooOoo

"I want her on this team, Anderson."

"No, I sent her in once against him and she almost lost everything. This is your fault, you and your black ops. I'm done with it."

"No, you're not, may I remind you, Anderson that we're the Alliance's dirty little secret, how do you think the rest of the Alliance not to mention the rest of the galaxy would react to knowing that the last three years of the war were only a front? How would they react to knowing that a mistake on our part is still one of the most untouchable Spectres under the council and may just bring around the apocalypse?"

The look on Anderson's face gave him everything he needed to know and he smiled as he put out his cigarette and lit another.

"Now, as I said, I want her on the team to recover our asset. He's here on the Citadel make it happen Anderson."

"Even if I can convince her she's never going to agree, not after I tell her about what really happened in that cave. It's too much for her to take in; she's found happiness, something I thought we had taken completely from her."

"First of all, you're not going to tell her. If Saren wouldn't have fucked up in that cave and gone rogue, she would already be an Asset, he lost me Shepard once. Let me have her, you know this is the only way; we have to fight them with their own tech. The Assari agree with me so do the Turians on our team, don't make me convince you the hard way."

"Admiral Hackett will never approve."

"He already has."

Anderson stood there defeated and shook his head.

"She'll never do it; she has a new life now."

"Then I'll just have to use the old one against her."

"You wouldn't."

"You know me better than that, of course I would. I'll do anything to save us."

ooOoo

The sigh from the chair by the window tells me Jane is about to speak, but instead of starting like she normally does she lifts her hand and traces something on the pane of glass before turning towards me.

"I know you've always made assumptions about my family and my relationship with my brother. You always made it seem like the Shepard children came together as part of this great military history, you were wrong about that. It didn't start out anything like what you saw in the end. In the beginning my brother and I were almost complete strangers. He was only about two years older than I was, but had been the child I always assumed my parents had wish they stopped at. Of course that was just my childish jealousy talking. I was always upset that I had been sent away."

She pauses and takes a deep breath.

"My life right after Kaidan went into his coma was one of routine and solitude, I trained the young Biotics at the base, and if I wasn't with Kaidan at hospital I was alone at my apartment. Justin and Gemma had long been reassigned, and I ignored their calls and invitations to come out when they were on my side of Earth."

Another deep breath, "Some people might say it was depression, guilt, whatever else you wrote about me in your books."

I'm sure my look must have been sheepish because she smiled not unkindly and continued in a softer tone.

"It was all those things, but yet so much more, I didn't know anything else, I didn't know I was allowed to feel the way I felt about him with anyone else. I didn't know I was capable of doing so. Not until Garrus."

We both fell into a silence until I finally built up the courage to ask. "Was it easy to leave a life that had been so mapped out?"

She shook her head and gave a soft laugh.

"God, no, not in the slightest, even worse when the two lives collided."

ooOoo

Garrus smiled as he watched Jane looking over the rifles and pistols that lined the wall of the citadels finest arms store. His hand casually drifted over her back and settled on her opposite hip. He felt the initial reaction as she stiffened slightly, but a gentle rub of his talon causes her posture to soften. It wasn't him that was making her uncomfortable, but the fact that they were in public. Most people knew them by sight, the C-sec and Human MP. A known sight and their subtle touches were either not seen or outright ignored by most people. A few dirty looks and nasty comments had left Jane on edge though, and she whispered up at him.

"You know why I flinch, don't act shocked."

"I know but it's my life and my career and you're part of that. You're not ruining anything, in fact I think I was doing just a fine job of ruining my career long before you showed up. Besides, you make me better."

Jane elbowed him softly and Garrus chuckled, "Well better looking for sure anyways."

"Corporal, Shepard?" Jane's laughter drifted off as she assumed the military profile Garrus loved so much.

"That's Lieutenant now, how can I help you…" Her voice trailed off as she turned and was face to face with Justin and Gemma. They both saluted and then smiles broke out around the group.

"What the hell are you two doing here?"

Gemma glanced at Justin before giving a shrug, "We've been told to report here, not sure why but, well we don't ask questions now do we."

Jane shook her head. "No, I suppose we don't."

Justin moved forward and gave her a slight hug. "It's been what, Jane? A little over two years, Jane and not even a letter or call…" he trailed off as his eyes lifted to the Turian she had completely forgotten was standing very close to her, his hand still resting on her back. Taking a quick turn step to the side she gestured towards him and cleared her throat.

Corporal Gemma Lambert, Corporal First Class Justin Smithe, this is Officer Garrus Vakarian, my partner at C-sec.

Garrus lifted his brow plate at the introduction but didn't say anything, just nodded and shook hands in the human way and then stepped back slightly.

"Yeah, we heard they had you with C-sec. How you been handling that?"

Garrus was trying to pretend not to be interested in the conversation keeping his eyes towards a line of riffles against the wall. Even though he could feel their eyes on him, he knew what they were thinking, the same thing Saren had thought, that she had been stuck with him.

"It's going great, actually."

"Oh," they both said in unison, causing a laugh that he played out as a cough at the sound of the shock in their voices.

"Well we have to run, we need to report in. It was good seeing you Jane, we've missed you. We should do dinner or something."

Jane nodded and the couple left the store. Turning back to where Garrus was staring at the rifles she pointed at one.

"That's like the one you use isn't it?"

"Uh-huh," it was more of a sound than an actual answer and she frowned.

"Do you need another?"

"Nu-uh," another sound that wasn't quite an answer, Jane had to fight the urge to fidget at his tone.

"Then what are we doing here?"

Jane was answered by silence and then a deep breath, "I was thinking of getting you one."

"Why would you do that? I use a pistol, I'm a biotic and everything I mean."

"I thought you'd enjoy going to the range with me, thought it would be something we could do together. I mean, you know if we were together."

His tone more than anything drove home what he was saying.

"You're upset, because I didn't tell Justin and Gem about you?"

"Isn't that how it's done? Your friends show up and you introduce them to your boyfriend, or whatever the hell I am. We're telling your brother tonight, why not them?" She could hear the hurt in his voice and the fact his eyes couldn't meet hers spoke volumes.

"Garrus, I was just nervous, I've known them damn near as long as Kaidan, and I'm not sure how they would handle, this." She sighed and rubbed her temple near her implant and Garrus immediately frowned, knowing that mean a migraine.

"Shit, Jane I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I understand why you're concerned. We've kind of been in our own bubble here. I forget how others may react."

She nodded and rubbed the side of her head a bit but smiled, "Forget about it, how about that rifle?"

**Same time back on Earth**

The man that went by Captain Jim Ryan moved through the hospital like a man on a mission. His mind firmly planted on one room. His eyes focused on the number 2513 the room of Kaidan Alenko.

He flicked his cigarette on the ground and ground it out before stepping through the door into the room.

The doctors and nurses surrounding the bed snapped to attention as he entered.

"Is he ready to move?"

The first doctor nodded, "He is, Sir."

"Good, have him taken to the arranged place and put into my specialists care, and remind them they have six months to get Alenko up and in fighting shape."

The man pulled out another cigarette and paused before lighting it, "He has an appointment to keep with his Girlfriend."