A/N: Sorry for the wait, everyone, but I AM determined to get this done before Christmas. I have time to write this weekend so I plan on getting most of it out then.

Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, everyone! I'm surprised this story is doing so well! You're all great!

And yes, the little "Twas the Night Before Christmas" parody I've got going on will continue until the end of the fic. As I'm not much of a poet, if it really sucks, I'll stop.

When from the living room there came such a clatter,

After Chandler's toes the tree did make flatter,

While Monica did her best to make dinner in a flash,

She went to her husband's side to give first aid in a flash

Chapter 3

Monica stood at the kitchen table and peeled potatoes. Since they were combining holidays, she was making potato latkes to go with the main course. After a search through Jewish holiday foods on Chandler's computer, she was also making a type of latke made with olives instead of potatoes. While she knew her friends would love the potato pancakes, she wasn't sure how they would embrace the olive twist. Well, however it came out, it wouldn't kill them to try something new.

To balance out the risk she was taking with the olive pancakes, she was balancing it out with some Jewish doughnut recipes she found. Apparently, doughnuts were a big part of the Chanukah dinner tradition. She knew none of her friends would have a problem with trying those.

"Chandler! How are those decorations coming?" Monica called across the house. Since she really needed to start dinner, she reluctantly left him in charge of putting up the rest of the signs and garland. As soon as she got a break, she was running in and making sure the signs were straight and the garland hung just so.

There was a loud thump. And then a "son of a bitch!"

Monica raised her head in concern, while thankful that the babies were still fast asleep and didn't hear. "Honey?"

"I'm okay."

Monica smiled to herself as her husband came hopping down the hallway towards the kitchen, his right leg bent as he tried to massage his foot while he went. "Aw, sweetie, I told you to use the stepladder."

"But the chair was right there!" Chandler whined. He then sat at one of the kitchen tables to massage his toes. "I went to get down, lost balance and rammed my foot. The stupid big tree."

Monica paused at the familiar term, an ice pack in her hand. "Didn't you used to call Richard that?"

"Ha ha," Chandler retorted. "Let me clarify. Richard is just 'the big tree.' When we're talking about actual trees, it's 'the stupid big tree.'"

"Got it," Monica laughed. She pulled up a chair next to him and applied the ice pack to his injured foot. "Does that feel better?"

Chandler winced in pain. "A little." His gaze fell on the baking dish on the counter, which contained a large pieces of fish. "Why do we have to have fish?" he whined. "This is the only holiday I get to have turkey, and you make fish."

"How's that?" Monica asked.

"Well, think about it," Chandler explained. "On Thanksgiving, turkey is a Thanksgiving food, so I can't eat it. But on Christmas, it's a Christmas food, so I can have it."

Monica rolled her eyes. "Or you could just give up your whole ban on Thanksgiving food altogether."

"Nope, can't do that. You can't possibly know what it feels to have to associate food with such bad memories…" Chandler hesitated, as if to acknowledge the "insert Monica's childhood obesity joke here" moment. "Let me rephrase that…"

"Chandler, it's okay. But just give the fish a chance," Monica prodded. "You know, having fish as the main course on Christmas is custom in Italian families."

Chandler paused in confusion. "But we're not Italian…are we?"

"Well, no," Monica admitted. "Unless you count my uncle Rudy, who lives in Little Italy and loves vino a little too much. But I thought the fish would be a nice touch for Joey's homecoming. He said that his family always used to have fish."

Still, Chandler pouted. "So, we carry on a tradition from his childhood, but when I suggested we honor Joey by ordering two pizzas every Friday, you say no? What's up with that?"

"Sweetie, we're having fish. If you don't eat it, or you don't get any doughnuts," Monica warned him.

Chandler crossed his arms. "You can't…" When she narrowed her eyes, he sighed. "Oh, alright, I'll try it. But I won't like it."

"Great, now I don't have to call Santa and tell him to put you on the naughty list," Monica mocked as she went back to peeling potatoes. "Now go finish up with those decorations. Ross and Rachel called and said they'd be here in a half hour."

Far from dinner and safe from the snow,

Joey decided to try the Big Piano.

When a pretty girl happened to appear,

Joey showed off, displaying his style of holiday cheer.

"All I want for Christmas, is you…" Joey sang along with the Mariah Carey tune that played throughout the huge FAO Schwartz. He attempted to match the long note, but lost it when his voice cracked. He then pretended nothing happened and continued, "I don't want a lot this Christmas, there is just one thing I need…"

"Aw, I so need that!" Joey exclaimed as he caught sight of the Big Piano. He'd gone to the store to get presents for the kids. But thoughts of Erica, Jack and Emma went straight out of his head when he walked in. His inner child, already much bigger than most, let loose and was taking over.

There was a crowd around the Piano, and a staff member was playing Chopsticks. Joey was mesmerized as the hot female staffer, whose nametag read "Alyssa," jumped around to tap out the notes. She finished with a wide kick of her leg and a clap of her hands. The crowd gave a polite cheer and she replied with a short bow. "Thank you, everyone! Hey, which one of you boys and girls would like to play a song with me?"

"I would!" Joey shouted. A young boy had been about to go up, but Joey rushed ahead of him and slid across the keys on the way to stand next to Alyssa. He smirked at the disappointed preteen boy.

"Jerk," the boy muttered with a longing glance at Alyssa.

Joey made a "ha ha" face, then put on a charming smile for Alyssa. "How you doin'?"

Though she tried to keep her face neutral for the crowd, Joey could've sworn he saw her blush. "I-I'm doing great…"

"Joey."

"Joey. How sweet of you to ask," Alyssa said with a short, restrained giggle. She then got a hold of herself as she went back to her entertainer routine. "So, Joey, do you happen to know the song 'Heart and Soul'?"

Joey paused. He didn't really know how to play the piano, but he remembered that his sister taught him that very song once. "Yeah! It's like this, right?" He then tapped it out on the piano. "Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun…"

"Very good! You're a natural!" Alyssa praised.

Taking the opportunity to brag, Joey replied, "Well, I was a regular on Days Of Our Lives. Were you a fan?"

"Uh…no…but that's very impressive," Alyssa assured him. She then cleared her throat and positioned herself on the piano. "So, you keep doing that, and I'll do the other part. Are you ready?"

Joey nodded with a concentrated nod. "Ready!"

The two began to play, and fell into a synch of exaggerated leg motions. "Heart and Soul" sounded through the store, and the crowd began to clap along. Once they finished, the crowd applauded.

"Let's give another round of applause for Joey!" Alyssa encouraged, and the crowd gave the appropriate response.

Joey felt his ego swell just a little bit, but feigned modesty. "Thanks! But you know it's much harder than it looks."

"Thanks for watching, everyone!" Alyssa shouted as the crowd became noisy and dispersed. "The next show is at four thirty!"

At that, Joey smiled and asked, "So, since you have a long break, I was thinking maybe we could get some coffee?"

Alyssa frowned in confusion and glanced at her watch. "Not that long of a break. It's four twenty-five now."

"Nuh-uh!" Joey protested. It couldn't be that time. Dinner was at four! If he was that late, Monica wouldn't let him have dessert!

Amused, Alyssa nodded. "Uh huh."

"Crap," Joey swore. "I'm sorry, it was really fun, but I've got a train to catch!" He exclaimed. He went to run to the exit, but slipped on the Big Piano and made a loud melodic sound as he slid across it on the floor. He jumped up. "I meant to do that!" he assured her, then turned and ran for the door.

A/N: Though I live in NYC, I haven't been to FAO Schwarz for a long time and really don't remember it. The scene with Joey was total fabrication and I'm sorry if I got anything wrong.