by Greylle
DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.
NOTE: Okay, this is a "crack fic" - it's not meant to be taken seriously. We're just out to have a bit of fun with a bizarre idea.
Okay, LOTS of bizarre. Hopefully lots of fun though too. ^_^
Chapter Seven: Great Balls Of Fire
Toji Suzuhara had a brain. He was not stupid, and managed to pass his courses without too much trouble. Just because he was the biggest person in the class, some people tended to equate that with a lack of intellectual capacity.
He WAS prone to bull ahead even when he had reason to suspect that his current course of action had a relatively small chance of success.
"So, you're the pilot," said Toji, sizing up the new kid and NOT grabbing his shirt and making demands. Ranma Ikari gave off the sort of image-presence of a drowsy lion. Fine unless you prodded him to full wakefulness and then things would get exceedingly painful. One of the reasons he had waited till everyone was in the hallway. "My sister got hurt in that little fight yesterday. She was in a shelter that was damaged."
Ranma winced. Some little girl got hurt in that? "Sorry about that. You might want to check with..." hmmm. who to stick with this. Oh - that would work. "Ritsuko Akagi."
"Huh? I thought you were the pilot." Toji turned confused briefly. He also noticed that the crowd nearby was edging closer now that immediate violence seemed to have gotten tabled.
"Yeah I was," said Ranma. "She's the one who decided I had to go pilot that Eva-thingie when I hadn't even seen one before yesterday, and didn't even put in a freaking weapons system!"
"No weapons?" exclaimed Kensuke Aida. "What kind of giant robot doesn't have any weapons?"
There were murmurs among the crowd too. They were Japanese after all, and a giant robot without weapons just wasn't right.
"They tell me they're getting me something called a 'prog-knife', but if you ask me that's nearly as lame as no weapons!" complained Ranma. Saotome NEW special technique - Blame The Gal Who Stuck Her Hand Up Your Butt Yesterday. "Pfeh. Oh. And I get trained to use some kinda guns when they get the bugs out. What kinda secret underground organization goes about giving you knives and guns AFTER you've started fighting?"
"Secret underground organization?" asked Kensuke.
"You should see the place," grumped Ranma. "A bit more high tech, but it could'a fit right into an old anime as the villain base. Ain't got no... what's the word?"
"Class?" asked Toji, sucked in despite himself.
"Dramatic impact?" asked Hikari, giving up pretense of not listening.
"Artistic merit?" asked Kensuke.
"YEAH, That's it!" said Ranma, not indicating who he was agreeing with.
Rei frowned ever so slightly as she considered part of the reason for Ranma's balking at following NERV directives might be resulting from first impressions of design.
"So how come you don't know how to use a computer?" asked one of the girls, not understanding how anyone couldn't use a computer. Or cellphone. Or SDAT. How could you live without text messaging?
"I been real focussed on martial arts training," said Ranma, lashing out with a casual punch that took a divot out of a brick wall. "Now I've got this NERV stuff. Not gotta lotta time for any of the other stuff. Which is why Rei offering to help is gonna be so... helpful."
Rei blushed slightly as everyone turned their attention towards her. This was simply due to embarassment at being the focus of attention, but it was freely interpreted by many of those watching.
"Rei, are you sure you should be doing all that while you're injured?" asked Hikari.
"There is unlikely to be any strain on my injuries as a result of tutoring Ikari," said Rei.
"I can't believe you did that to poor Keitaro Urashima. I'll never be able to look at 'Love Hina' the same way again."
Clap clap clap "Better him than me," intoned Tenchi. "Much better him than me."
"I don't know about that," said Washu. "You might get Ayeka and Ryoko to stop fighting."
Ayeka turned green. "Eeeep. That is. No. I really don't think so."
Ryoko was paler than usual. "Much as I hate to agree with the princess, that's a bit much."
Ranma followed Rei, frowning slightly at all the noise from the pumps and nearby construction. Even if the city was supposedly new - this area looked like a dump. Somehow the episodes he'd seen had glossed over all the trash like the cigarette butts piled up around the stairwells in the apartment complex.
The area was not the best one, and seeing it in person rather than brief images in a television series gave it a whole different impact. The smell was unpleasant, having the quality of areas that were frequently flooded and then drained again. Mud, mold, dead fish, and other things that Ranma didn't quite want to identify.
Then there was the sound of the pumps and of construction nearby.
That Rei had NO neighbors and that this part of Tokyo-3 seemed dirtier than the rest was quite noticeable as well.
Then they arrived at her apartment and Ranma noted the lack of door unlocking that took place. Not that leaving a door unlocked was that uncommon in rural areas, but here in the capital?
When he followed her in, he wasn't talkative himself, because he was trying to figure the situation itself out.
The situation was one that Ranma was rather uncertain about, given that he was unused to such things. It wasn't that he had not had experience around girls, but the fact was that the girls tended to be rather... direct in their actions. So, he had some instincts on how to deal with girls who'd either want to bash, or get into an immediate romance, with him, but he had little to go on when dealing with a quiet girl.
Of course, he didn't doubt that she was an attractive girl. Even he could see that with a proper wardrobe, and some care, she could have been quite appealing to a lot of guys. However, she was also silent almost to the point of being mute in a lot of ways. That made it hard to make a connection with her, and he didn't particularly understand why she'd seemed to take an interest in him. Still, it seemed that she was turning out to be rather nice, all things considered, even if he didn't know what she wanted.
He did think that she had complete access to electricity though. "Ummm... What's with all the candles?"
"They have been placed here to improve the 'atmosphere'," Rei admitted, her expression matter of fact as she led him inside. Candles sat on every available horizontal surface, save for the bed and the floor, and their flickering light set the whole room in a warm glow. "From what I understand, this is one of the approved ways of decorating when a girl and a boy are to spend time alone together, especially in a personal space."
"Hold on... Ya did all this cause ya thought that I was comin'?"
"That was the idea."
"So, from the start, ya planned on havin' me come here."
"Such a consideration was included in my initial advance."
"Gotcha. Didn't think that'd be the case, 'xcept..." He raised his head a bit and took a couple of quick sniffs. "I ain't all that sure that this is for the best."
"And why would that be?"
"Smells like smoke's comin' from over there."
Rei's eyes widened just a bit, and she quickly twisted to look at where he'd indicated. Just like he'd said, there was a scent of burning materials, and when she moved just a bit closer to look, she saw a lick of flames come out as the room started to burn freely.
"Okay, that's not good... HEY!"
Rather than discuss things with him, she merely pushed the surprised boy out the door, and from the apartment. However, the creak of the structure gave her a bit of warning before the ceiling just before the exit crashed down to the floor, blocking her way out. At the same time, she fell to her knees from the surprise.
A glimpse of that was the last look he got of her before the smoke and debris blocked his vision. Not that it was particularly heartening to see something like that, as it meant that she was in mortal danger, and he had a distinct urge to do something to save her.
Though, oddly enough, he couldn't ignore the part of him that was noticing that, for a dump, someone had really designed the place well, considering that the fire was contained only in her place.
Normally Gendo was unflappable, but even he was unable to ignore the situation at the moment, as was shown by the way that he looked at his second in command. "There was a fire at the First Child's quarters?"
One that rendered the place uninhabitable," the Vice Commander confirmed. "Even by her."
"And that means..."
"That her simple needs and lack of decorating won't be satisfied by staying there."
"Which means that she will have to be moved," the Commander grunted.
"Perhaps we could move her in with Captain Katsuragi."
She wasn't one for any show of 'drama', but Rei found it hard to get up from her seated position, and that had nothing to do with any more injuries to her person. In fact, other than the singed nature of her clothing, the smudges on her cheeks, and the wisps of smoke rising from her person, there was no mark on her that hadn't been there before. Basically, she was fine, which was odd, considering the fact that she'd just come up against a rather sizable fire.
"This is most... fortunate," she murmured to herself, putting aside her earlier thoughts of being replaced by another clone.
Since she was going to be dead, that made it clear that she wouldn't need a replacement for herself. Still, she was going to need to get a number of other things, and that didn't just include her personal care items. As it was, her apartment was no longer an actual structure, what with the currently empty nature of it. Even the walls themselves hadn't survived, as they were black and charred where they still stood, having gaping holes in spots. Light fixtures creaked as they swung barely attached to the remnants of the ceiling. Her books were now burnt bits of paper, and what little furniture was now merely blackened skeletons of their former selves. And about the only thing that had survived, albeit in a rather dirty form, was her kitchen sink.
"Okay, this place isn't going to be usable," Misato Katsuragi muttered as she tried to step where the heel of her boot wouldn't slip on the debris on the floor. "Looks like a total loss..."
"Which begs the question, how did this happen?" Ritsuko Akagi idly asked as she tried to maneuver in her own high heels.
"You're the scientist. I'd thought that you'd know. There's a fire, things burn, and you wind up with an extra crispy room."
"Ha, ha. Very funny. What I meant was that she shouldn't even be here. 'Alive', that is. And it shouldn't have gone out so easily."
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yes, and I'd like to know how the fire just went out like that. Doesn't seem like falling pieces of the apartment should have smothered it enough..."
"Maybe it's divine intervention. Or magic," Ranma drawled, grinning at the scientist. "Could be that some tanuki or a kitsune decided to help her. Hey, it might have been aliens!"
"Really."
"Little animal friends joining together for a common cause?"
The look that the woman with the falsely blonde hair gave him was icy at best.
Ranma just let his smile grow that much larger.
"In any case, she can't stay here," Misato put in, dragging the conversation back to the matter at hand. "In the mean time, do you have even any clothes saved?"
"My only set of street clothes is what I am wearing," Rei reveled, looking steadily at the Operations Director.
Taking in the state of the clothes, which happened to smell like smoke, the officer shook her head. "That simply won't do at all."
For once, both Ranma and Ritsuko both were left wondering if they should be concerned about the same thing.
Rei wasn't used to a place this clean, or this occupied. It was the latter that concerned her current mission. The presence of Misato was also going to make her seduction of Ikari difficult.
"You don't have ANY other clothing?" asked Misato.
"My school uniform, gym clothes, and swimsuit were sufficient for all required functions," stated Rei in her quiet voice. Her forehead furrowed ever so slightly as she considered the functions of a girlfriend. Other clothing options would seem to be of use in such a role.
"That won't do," said Misato, a gleam entering her eyes.
Ranma shrugged. Didn't have anything to do with him. "I'm gonna go practice some. Y'all do what you want."
"We'll be a little late, so why don't you fix dinner?" asked Misato, revealing that she had other motives.
"Yeah, yeah," said Ranma, figuring it was probably the only way to avoid the barely edible sludge Misato tended to fix. It was nearly as bad as Akane's sort of thing.
Oh well, at least he knew Akane and them were doing well without him. Though he really didn't want to think about Nerima, as that had him thinking about Konatsu and Shinji and... No, he didn't want to think about that at all.
"We may have to rearrange things," said Fuyutsuki, standing and facing a display in Gendo's office.
"Indeed, this was not foreseen," said Gendo, not liking it. "Did she shield herself with an AT field?"
"That was my thought as well," said Fuyutsuki.
"She shouldn't be able to do that," said Gendo. "When Asuka arrives, I was planning on placing her with Katsuragi."
"There isn't that much room," pointed out Fuyutsuki.
"If it becomes a problem, I'll have someone attend to it," said Gendo. "For now, I have other matters that are more pressing."
Ranma was just finishing up with something he'd thought a clever idea. By making extras and sticking them in the freezer - he had an alternative on nights when Misato's efforts were particularly loathsome.
"So, what do you think?" said Misato as she came in the door.
Ranma winced without turning around. That was one of THOSE questions. No good answer really. Lots of wrong answers.
"This feels... strange," confessed Rei.
Ranma debated potential answers before turning around, figuring he'd stalled enough. He ended up staring, however.
Rei was wearing a black pants-turtleneck combination that offset her pale skin dramatically.
"I'd say from that reaction, we have a 'win'," said Misato.
Rei sat back on the bed and considered the way the day had turned out, not feeling particularly sleepy despite the late hour.
She had been trapped, the flames gouting outward as something caught and burst. She had realized what it had been from a glimpse of the mechanism. There had been an incendiary device built into the wall, most likely from long ago. Conclusion: her apartment had been rigged to remote-detonate sometime in the past. It had been those hidden incendiaries which had accelerated the fire to the extent it had.
Ranma Ikari had not known of the device or that he was even to be there. He also had only been in the area only recently. Conclusion: Ranma Ikari had charged into the fire without knowing why the flames had developed to that extent, regardless of the heat level.
Then he'd done... something. Something with his own AT field, much like she could do except he'd practically radiated cold. The air had exploded around them, blowing out the remaining windows and tearing holes in the walls even further.
Then Ranma had slumped, whatever he'd done had apparently exhausted him and hurt in some way.
Ranma Ikari had not only risked his life to save her own, but he had personally endured pain and suffered for her sake.
Rei was used to thinking of herself as disposable. Replaceable. A tool to be used. Thinking of someone who would go to such lengths for her left her confused.
A glance towards the case with the glasses in them, retrieved from the aftermath of the fire did not evoke the same reaction it had previously. This was also noted for later contemplation.
Rei simply willed herself to sleep, thinking that it would be easier to understand these things with some rest.
Ranma was a little confused himself. He KNEW that Rei was one of several, that she wasn't exactly human. He knew there was an excellent chance she was only getting close to him because of his "father" ordering something to that effect. She might end up as an enemy if he tried to avoid that whole "goo ending". He'd reacted to her getting surrounded by the fire as if she was simply a normal girl.
He'd worked out that chi and the AT fields were similar, and that he couldn't do everything he could back home. He had to invent new techniques because a few old ones just wouldn't work. As back home, he tended to work out his new techniques on the fly when he had his back against the wall. Or in this case surrounded by fire. He'd ended up doing something like the soul of ice and something like the dragon ascension spiral, but it had HURT forcing things out like that. Instead of a tornado, he'd lost control of the spiral of ice and fire and ended up with something like a bomb blast.
Now Rei was next door to his own room. Keeping secrets was gonna be REAL hard now.
If he could have had his way, Ranma would have been perfectly happy to lay about in bed for as long as he felt like. Getting up had never been something that he'd been terribly driven to do with any speed, and he'd never had any desire to become some sort of perky person. Rather, he'd have liked to lay about, relaxing in which ever way that he could find, until he could find something fun to do, like get in a good fight, or handle an enjoyable trip.
But he was also not a stupid boy, and despite his dislike of early rising, he wasn't exactly going to give up on getting up relatively early. With the need to practice, he had to get up at a time which would allow him to fit in his training along side his other tasks for the day, like getting a good meal. And despite the fact that he was seriously disliking the idea of having to go to school, he didn't think that he'd try ditching it, as NERV would give him such a headache about it that he didn't want to bother with the hassle.
That didn't mean that he was about to rush into what he had to do for the morning. Instead, he merely rolled out of bed and strolled over to do his morning bathroom routine. Scratching his back under his undershirt as he went, he yawned, and prepared to relieve what a night's sleep had left in his bladder.
With his eyes bleary, and his mind still addled by the remnants of his rather uneven night of rest, he reached out, with one hand heading to open the door, and the other ready to help push it out of the way.
He never had to do it, as the door swung open before he could touch it.
However, he was able to touch Rei, who was coming out of the bathroom just then. It seemed that she'd had a similar idea to his, but she'd gotten up earlier than he had. This normally wouldn't have been a problem... save for the fact that his hands were still moving. The one that had been head to do the actual opening hit only air, but the other one went to brace against hitting into her.
Unfortunately, this also resulted in his palm covering over her chest and resting there. As a result, he got to feel a soft resistance that had nothing to do with an active response on her part, but had to do a lot with her anatomy. Looking down, he saw that, yes, she certainly was female, yes, she was nicely endowed for her age, yes, she was wearing a man's dress shirt that was open in front due to only one or two buttons at the waist being fastened, and, no, she was quite clearly not wearing a bra.
Recognizing the feel of the supple mound that was being rolled about by his hand, and the nub that was pressing into his palm from under the white improvised pajamas, he could only come up with images of physical violence coming upon his person. "GAH!"
"Is something the matter, Pilot Ikari?" Rei asked as calmly as if they were fully dressed, a room apart, and discussing the weather.
"Huh? Wha? Sure!"
"What is it?"
"Eh? This..."
"I do not take your meaning..."
"Uh... Ya ain't bothered... Ummm... This is..."
"What's all the racket about? And what is going on around here?" an obviously sleep addled Misato grumbled as she opened her door and stuck her head out into the hall.
"Actually..."
"Pilot Ikari was taking the opportunity of our accidental meeting to enjoy a groping of my breast. As plesant as it may be, continuing this will have to wait. There are classes to attend to later," the First Child answer, seemingly ignorant of the frightened and panicked look on Ranma's face. Nodding politely to the both of them, the teenaged girl turned and walked back to the room she'd been given, as if nothing untoward had happened. "Until later."
For a long moment, Ranma could only stare at her door as it closed serenely, leaving him with only the 'phantom weight' of what he'd touched of her in his hand.
"Is that what was going on, hmm, Ranma?" the military officer asked, giving a narrow eyed look towards him.
Right then, the pigtailed boy recognized that he'd also been also left in a rather awkward situation with someone who wasn't exactly known for being dismissive or easily forgiving.
Pen Pen merely walked by, gave a penguin shrug, and headed off for a beer.
Sets of numbers passed by Ritsuko's eyes and she turned from her computer display to rub her fingers under her glasses to ease the ache from her tired eyes. The data had long gone into becoming a bit of a blur, with data sets becoming smeared mixes that she couldn't really focus on. Fatigue had set in, and she knew that if she just let it happen, she could fall asleep right there and then.
A small bark of laughter escaped from between her lips as she remembered her days from college, where she had been able to pull all nighters like this one before. Yet, despite having shown herself to be able to get the work done, she'd always been something of a mess the next day.
Of course, that likely meant that she'd be sleeping in whenever she did get into her bed.
Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her shapely legs and let one foot idly shake in its high heel. Her pose would have appealed to many of the men who worked at the Geo-Front, but the fact was that the only male on her mind was the one that she couldn't see herself being with. However, her focus wouldn't leave him, as she had a puzzle to solve, and she didn't like leaving such things unsolved.
By everything that she could tell, there should have been no way that Rei should have been able to survive in that inferno. She'd done exactly that though, as the clone had apparently managed to find someway to not only avoid death or serious injury, but had actually extinguished most of the flames that were threatening her. Now, considering what she knew of the First Child, it should have been unlikely for that to happen, if it could have occurred at all.
What nagged at her though was that Ranma Ikari had been there as well. Something told her that he had a hand in this... event, but just what that could be, she couldn't even begin to tell. From his personal data, he shouldn't have had any way of managing to do anything all that out of the ordinary, save for a few little tricks. By what she could tell from the evidence seemed to bring that into question, as it was clear that something odd had happened there. To tell the truth, she didn't even know why she thought that he was involved, other than her irritation with the boy.
'I need coffee,' she mentally sighed, and slid out of the chair, grabbed her cup, and strolled off in search of a fresh pot of java.
Rei would have been the first person to admit that she didn't know much about clothing. To her, practicality was key, as she had only used money to purchase what she'd needed. By what she knew, her clothing needs were simple, falling into the three main outfits for school use, her plugsuit, and the simple bras and panties that she'd use at all. Until recently, it had seemed to be rather pointless to do anything more.
In contrast, her closet at the Katsuragi residence had a number of new outfits hanging and waiting for her to wear them. Had she had no other reason, she would have merely let the Captain guide her into the purchases, as she didn't see any reason to buck a superior, especially when that one was apparently pleased to have an unlimited NERV credit card. The thing was that she had also seen that it was apparently expected for a girl of her age, especially one with a boyfriend, to have many outfits.
And to be honest, she could see the reasoning behind a number of the clothing selections. Beyond the replacement of what she'd lost, she also had some new garments, many of which were in dark colors, like blue, black, and purple. Having a kimono was new, but she knew that there were observances and events that would call for that sort of garment. Just in shoes, she was fully stocked, from simple school footwear, to sneakers, to sandals, and to even some dress shoes, she was ready. Boots alone represented a good portion of her footwear, as she had basic ones, ankle boots, ones to knee high, and, for reasons that escaped her, thigh high ones.
On the other hand, she had plenty of things that she could easily come up with occasions to wear them. She now had pants for casual wear, along side simple blouses, an orange skirt that went with a tank top that bore orange, white, and blue stripes, as well as red and white checked jumper that she was planning on wearing with a long sleeved black shirt. Three dresses that ended just above the knee were now hers, including a black one that had a neckline to give a hint of cleavage, but had a pair of shoulders and sleeves in a see-through material that gave it a 'sophisticated' look. With the simple blue one, and the shoulderless, high necked one, she was ready for any formal dating opportunities.
Her troubles came from the fact that she didn't particularly understand all of the reasons for having certain garments. Despite her lack of motivation to 'show off', she could tell that the one laying on her bed did expose her body in quite pleasing ways. The front zippering bustier did much to present her breasts for viewing, and left her flat belly bare. That came from the tiny black skirt that barely brushed over her backside, and allowed one to see the frilly white tops of her lavender thigh highs. With above the elbow leather gloves that had several around the arm belt fasteners on each of them, and the shiny high heels on her feet, she understood that she was looked rather like the girls that the boys in class tended to gaze at in magazines, or stare raptly at on game screens.
The difficulty that she had came from the odd insistence that Captain Katsuragi had in deciding that they would get the outfit. Something about being 'naughty' was the apparent reason, although she wasn't too clear on what that was supposed to mean. Its saving grace did come from a remark that the operations director had made about it 'knocking the socks off of Ranma'. He didn't seem to wear any sort of socks, but if it did cause him to see her with desire, then that was welcome.
It just didn't seem that she could figure out a reason to wear it, or the other ones, like the poofy shouldered black and white dress with the mid-thigh skirt and black stockings that Katsuragi had declared had made her look like a 'doll'. All that she knew was that she had a hat that seemed to serve no logical purpose, and not a lot of understanding as to what the style was supposed to be. Apparently, it had something to do with a popular sub-culture during the Captain's youth, even if the woman had not been involved in it herself.
Fortunately, she didn't have to wonder about what she should wear for school, as a uniform was the only allowable clothing choice, so she merely had to get hers out so that she could dress once she finished her morning absolutions.