AN: Yeah, um, chapters 2 - 4 were lost, so this was originally going to be ch. 5, but due to a screwup in encoding, it's now ch. … 2? Anyway, Draco and D basically put up with each other because they're in the same house; Leon somehow ended up in Gryffindor and is tolerated by Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but I don't think Hermione likes him too well. Um… D had a run-in with Professor Umbitch… hackers are welcome to rewrite ch's 2 - 4 based on all this and what you've seen thus far. Oh yeah, and Marie wrote this chapter. I just wrote the notes. I don't know if she's on this site, but if she were, I think she'd be pigcatapult or some variation of that name. Yet another note: I did not publish this to spite Marie. That is all.
The next day, a large, dark purple, vulture-like bird with sharp teeth arrived and started shrieking at D.
The young kami shrunk back and shielded his face with his arms instinctively. Draco pulled out his wand, but paused when D made a few shrieking noises back.
The bird gave a hiss and flew away. "What the bloody hell was that about?" Draco asked finally.
"Grandfather must be very angry if he sent Hagetaka to scold me…" D said softly. "He says that I need to remember to respect my elders, regardless of how foolish they may be." (AN: And 'elder' she certainly is-- she's so old I'm surprised she hasn't been gored to death by a triceratops.)
The day passed uneventfully until five o'clock. That was when D had to go to Umbridge's office for detention. He ran into Harry Potter along the way.
D looked at Harry carefully as they walked. "Harry Potter, I presume?" he asked serenely, looking into a pair of eyes level with his own.
Harry nodded. "And you're D, right? What was all that stuff yesterday in Potions, about 'Your grandfather being who he is?'"
D paused, but then decided that it couldn't hurt to tell. "He is a Count in the Muggle world."
Harry's eyebrows shot up. "Wow."
Decima gazed up at Harry. "This is Potter boy Decima hear about?" she hissed, her speech broken by her youth. "The Potter boy that Malfoy boy speak so poorly of?" Her tongue flickered. "He understand Decima, yes? Orcot boy say so." Harry looked surprised. "Uh, yes. I understand you." Decima nudged D's chin with her nose. "Up! Up!" D rolled his eyes and raised one hand to Harry's shoulder, Decima happily slithering up his arm. "No biting," the young count warned. "Decima bite Potter boy? Never! Potter boy not smell like food." (AQ: The strife tastes like FOOD! Cupcakes taste like violence! In Soviet Russia, violins taste like cupcakes!) Harry felt a bit awkward walking with a hatchling snake curled loosely around his neck. When they reached Umbridge's office, D took Decima back and knocked on the door. Umbridge had them write lines. She made harry write, "I must not tell lies," and D, "I must not insult my betters." (Please excuse me while I explode: Better? Better?! Umbridge is a pompous bitch! How could she possibly be better than a sexy Chinese kami?!)
The instant D's quill touched the parchment, however, he cried and dropped it, toppling over backwards and landing hard on his elbows . He scrambled into a sitting position and brought his hand up to his face, licking a drop of blood off of the back of it. Umbridge smiled at him in a toad-like fashion. "Is there a problem?" she asked sweetly.
"Cutting Quills were banned at Hogwarts ten years ago," D snarled. (AN: Dude, Marie, that's screwing with the storyline. You're not supposed to screw with the established line like that. Not like we haven't totally been doing that anyway…)
Decima reared her head. "Evil hag human hurt son of Master's son!" she hissed in a scandalized tone. "Decima bite evil hag human!"
"No," D hissed firmly, catching the pit viper by the tail as she slithered down his body toward the ground. "That will only get us in more trouble." He smirked evilly at Umbridge. "I do believe that this calls for a letter to my grandfather. He will be most displeased."
Later that night, an owl was intercepted barely a minute after it was over the horizon and out of D's sight.