Switching Places/Eva!

by Greylle and Kender_Sci

DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.
NOTE: As mentioned earlier, this is one of the threads me and Kender Sci wrote over at the Anime Addventure. There will be slight changes to better fit the different format. This catches up with our current episodes, so things will slow down because the scenes are written on a rotation and weekly basis along with several other threads we juggle.

Chapter Fourteen: And the thunder rolls.

Walking down the street was enough for Kensuke to feel a bit odd. That wasn't unexpected, given that she was a former guy that was now a pretty and nicely curved girl. If she actually thought about it, she would have really noticed that her breasts bounced and her hips naturally swayed with each step. As it was, she hadn't even thought about what was attractive, and what was appealing, and wasn't planning on doing so for a long while.

So, as she headed down the street, she tried to act as if everything was the same as it had been. Of course, she was not the same guy that she had been only a little while earlier, but at the very least, she could look like she belonged there. She just didn't want to dwell on the fact that she'd been changed, and that her underwear could now be called 'lingerie'.

But as she stepped around a boy slightly older than her, she got a sense that he was having some trouble getting by her. That surprised her, given that she had been certain that she had given him enough room. In an attempt to make sure that there was no further trouble, she turned to look at him, just to make sure that they didn't bump into each other.

It was then that she saw that he was actually prolonging the movement just so that he could look up and down her body.

Shuddering just a bit, she hurried away... only to become more aware of how people were reacting to her presence. A number of guys were staring at her, several not going above her neck, and a few straying into leering territory. Such things were rather... annoying, but not unexpected.

What did get her wondering was how other people were noticing her. Little children did stare from time to time, though one couldn't blame them for their lack of manners. Then there were the older people who were eying her, seeming to keep a watch about her. A couple even stopped to speak behind their hands to their companions.

This wasn't all of them, or even most of those around her, but it was enough to make her uncomfortable. Having the awareness that her body was changed in intimate and dramatic ways was one thing. However, it was another thing to have other people pay such mind to her.

In a place where room was still a premium, Gendo Ikari's office was an extravagance. Some might have reveled in the space that he was given, but it was just something that he accepted. His desk tended to look clear, and he never let others actually see him do any sort of physical work.

That wasn't to say that he didn't do anything, as he was constantly ready to adjust his plotting if need be. In the silence of the dark of his office, he had to do so, given that things were so off the course that he'd thought they were heading to. His son wasn't what he had expected, the Angels had gone off the list from the Scrolls, and a number of his staff were not who they had been.

Such a thing had him reviewing what was going on, with the files of the current status in front of him. With his hands folded in front of him, he looked over the data, taking special care to pay attention to the state of those he wished to use. At the same time, he double checked the data that had served as the basis for his plans in the first place.

And it was as he touched one key to open a seemingly unimportant file date stamped from years earlier that he got a surprise.

The video screen before him lit up and showed the Commander an image that he hadn't expected to see unless he had purposely pulled it up. As it was, he had seen his wife's picture only recently, but he had thought that was a surprise that had just popped up on its own.

Apparently, he was wrong.

"If you are watching this, then project R.E.E. has been activated," the recording of Yui Ikari murmured. "This isn't a simple test that has been done on a whim, but may have major ramifications for humanity."

Leaning back in his chair, Gendo wondered what his wife had been up to, and if he'd really known her intentions all those years ago.

"One major issue for the continuation of humanity is the ability to propagate the species, and to help evolution along. The problem is that stop gap measures, such as setting the species into a protective unity is merely a defense. Certainly stepping out of such a thing would be possible, but those who regain their identity possibly would be the same sort of humans that they had been before."

From the shadows, the Commander found that he had to allow her that point.

"In order to let humanity grow and expand, there will need to be aids to help them past their limits. To be able to create life and identity where there is none, and to give them that 'spark' that would give them abilities beyond themselves would be ideal."

He spoke not a sound as he waited for the hammer to drop, so to speak.

"The question is how to do that, and the answer is clear. There are going to be more clones of Rei than would ever be needed for Instrumentality. Instead of allowing them to go to waste, this project will take at least several of them, and give them the ability to move on their own, to make their own choices, and to grow into their own beings. In this way, they will be able to spread out and become part of the world at large. Surely they will be able to contribute to society, but that isn't the end goal."

There was a moment when Gendo was about to ask what that 'goal' was, but then stopped and kept himself silent. Yui was no longer able to answer anyway.

The image of Yui on the video took a deep breath. "Project R.E.E. The 'Rei Exponential Experiment'. It will allow for each clone to grow into her own person, hopefully find someone to pair off with, and eventually have a family. Each of those children will share part of the engineered genes, and pass them on to their own children. With each successive generation that seed will spread until every human being will theoretically have it. Combined with certain other... projects, this will allow humanity to continue on and thrive, using nature to passively cause our species to grow."

About the only sign of his response to her recording was to let his brows rise.

The image flickered for a time, reflected in his glasses as he watched the file play out and then close. After a few moments time, the file deleted itself - insuring that only Gendo saw its revelations.

Gendo sat back in his chair, his eyes pointing in the direction of the one window.

Yui had begun work on the Rei clones before her death. The name 'Rei' had been mentioned if their child had been born female. So... Rei duplicates. Where would you hide them while they developed?

Gendo straightened up and clicked security feeds. After a few minutes he gave a satisfied grunt and sat back again. You didn't hide a needle in a haystack. You hid a needle in a stack of other needles. Some of the Rei clones were missing from their tank.

How had Yui done such a thing when the viable clones had come partially from her LCL-ed remains? Lines of programming imbedded in the proto-MAGI no doubt. Little hidden subroutines. Yui had been quite brilliant after all, one of the reasons that Naoko Akagi had been so jealous of her. Yui had been caught once or twice checking into those seminal MAGI despite Naoko's possessiveness and temper.

So, these Ree were active. Copies of Rei that could potentially accelerate human evolution.

Frowning, he decided he should check on the status of the current Rei Ayanami as the Rei (Ree? Reis?) might be drawn together.

He wasn't sure who was behind it, if it was really Yui and her plans - she'd once said that paranoia in their line of work was part of the job description.

However, he WAS sure that he could bend it to his own use if it came to that.

Though if Yui HAD thought this far ahead, there was sure to be another part of it. She would have appointed a caretaker or...

No. That was wishful thinking surely.

Kensuke Aida really was trying to come to terms with things. That he had been a geeky glasses-wearing boy that girls wouldn't look twice at, consigned to being a part of the background scenery.

Now the only thing that had not changed were the glasses.

The uncomfortable but familiar feeling of a full bladder had caused momentary panic while shopping, and had quickly evaporated the calm he'd managed to keep up until that point. Not a good thing at all. Especially as he'd gone automatically to the Men's room.

Fortunately there hadn't been anyone on the women's side (after the quick dash from one room to the other) or things would have gotten much more nerve wracking.

Now he had to bathe, but he was transfixed by the first sight he'd had of himself that hadn't been hurried or glancing. The trip to shop for new clothes, he'd managed to maintain an emotional distance. Now, it was hitting in full.

That girl with the frightened eyes behind her glasses was HIM. She turned to the side, showing off that she had the sort of breasts and butt that would have fascinated him if he were still a he.

Kensuke reached out to touch the mirror, duplicated by the reflection. Then shook off the odd mood. Bathing was going to be difficult enough. Just don't think about it, just plow...

Just do it, don't think about it. Try not to notice ANYTHING.

Elsewhere, a few bubbles floated to the surface of the water as space/time flexed slightly. Then the diamond shape was simply there, displacing hundreds of cubic feet of water in a sudden plume.

Ramiel paused for a moment in its embryonic form before beginning the process that would end in a crystalline octahedron.

The Lilim have changed.
The target is shifting?
It does not matter. The thunder will arrive and pierce the veils that have been drawn.
Two have gone before and are ended. One has gone before and... has changed.
One of the Lilim is very very dangerous indeed.

Makie stuck her head up abruptly, causing Asuka's complaints to falter for a moment.

"What's up?" asked Asuka as the usually ditzy girl focussed on her.

"When the time comes, leap to your left," said Makie, her voice. "There is a time for fighting, and a time for avoiding."

"Eh?" asked Asuka. "I don't get it."

"Eh?" asked Makie. "Don't get what?"

"Never mind," said Asuka, passing the girl off for being the office airhead.

Asuka was not amused.

Somehow, it seemed like someone was trying to keep her day as annoying as possible. Rather than being able to arrive in the proper way, with everything organized and properly planned, she had to go through a whole lot of hassles. After being treated like a surprise guest, she'd gone through an attack, had her identity be doubted and stolen, and got stuck with whatever they could give to help her out.

As she tugged her suitcase off of the elevator, she grunted and scowled with more than the effort that took. It would have only been proper to provide her with someone to help her out with this. Why, there were plenty of Security agents around as it was. They had even gone as far as to drive her over to the complex that she was currently moving around. Yet none of them had even bothered to help her carry what bags she had. Sure, she understood their need to keep their hands free, but it just didn't seem right that no one could help her out.

Glancing at each of the door numbers, she kept on going until she found one that she thought was the one that she was looking for. Taking a piece of paper out of her pocket, she looked it over, confirming that the information matched. With a single nod, she returned the paper to its holding spot, and pulled out the key that Misato had given her.

That, at least, had followed what she had been told. From the start, she'd been told that she would live with the Director of Operations, who wasn't going to be a surprise to her. It actually wouldn't be all that bad, given what she knew of Misato Katsuragi. All that she would have to do would have to suffer through staying with the First Child, but she was sure that she could handle some inexperienced neophyte.

Of course, she would have liked to be able to live on her own, but they said that even she, a girl who had already graduated from university and was piloting a super powerful combat mecha, was too young to do so. Even though it had seemed to be silly, she didn't really fight it. Arguing would have been pointless, and she didn't want to argue with fools anymore.

The redhead didn't need anymore annoyances, and as she unlocked the door and opened it, she knew that she had enough troubles as it was. Why, most of her luggage was still missing, and most of what she did have was made up of stuff that she'd bought to provide herself enough clothes and toiletries to function. All that she wanted to do was to go plop into bed, and even that was going to be a problem.

After all, it wasn't like she'd even gotten settled into her room yet. In fact, she didn't even know what it was like. What she did know was that it was in Misato's apartment, which wasn't saying much at all. Going down the small hallway, she glanced around in the hopes that it would be better than she feared.

Nothing that she saw really impressed her, but then she hadn't expected it to. It was a fairly normal place, and nothing that she saw seemed to really pop out at her. Well, she did think that she spotted a penguin waddle behind some cabinets, but that was likely the left overs from her exhaustion.

Her day had been busy, but Asuka knew that it wasn't done. One couldn't go to sleep without finding a spot to lay down, so she went to peer at the bedrooms. Spotting the door at the end of the hall, she figured that it was Misato's, and so she let that be. A peek towards one room showed someone's stuff in there, and a dim sign reading 'Ranma's Lovely Suite' on the door, so that was likely the place that they'd stashed the Commander's son. Not wanting to share a room with a boy, no matter what distasteful thing she was supposed to do with him, the Second Child went to check on the other room.

Expecting an empty room, she jerked to a stop as she saw a few boxes that appeared to contain personal belongings disrupting the otherwise spartan feel of the room. That alone was a surprise, but once she actually looked towards the middle of the room, she saw that someone already was in there. At first, she thought that it was supposed to be that 'Ranma' guy, but the figure laying there had curves in places that no boy usually did. Added to the fact that a skirt was included with the uniform hanging on a hook on the wall gave her a pretty clear indication of the gender of the room's occupant.

Leaning down towards the girl on the bed, Asuka tried to work out who it was. Obviously, it wasn't the Third Child, but that left a few candidates out there. Curled up as she was, the sleeping girl made it hard to get a real idea of who she was. Fortunately, she flipped over, which allowed the redhead to lean in and confirm that the other girl looked a lot like what she'd heard the First Child was supposed to appear like.

And then Rei breathed out in her sleep, which sent out a sizable, yet familiar, scent out at the conscious girl.

Stumbling back and gasping for fresh air, the redhead coughed and gasped as she wondered what the heck that was supposed to be. It had certainly smelled like alcohol, but that would have meant that the blue haired girl had been on a serious bender. Just how that could happen wasn't clear, but apparently she had imbibed enough to wind up with stale liquor breath.

Leaning against the wall, Asuka tried to figure out what she should make of all this, and just how she was supposed to stay in this place.

Ramiel paused as it gathered itself.

The situation was supposed to go without deviation. The Lilim were to be tested by each of its fellows. Destruction of their selves or destruction of the Lilim. Those of the Tree Of Life would contest against those of the Tree Of Knowledge.

Yet the scenario written billions of years ago was already skewed.

Perhaps there was now room to ensure its own survival should the Lilim prove victorious somehow.

"Hey!" said Asuka, shaking the girl's shoulder.

"Mrfg?" managed Rei, who really wasn't in the best shape at the moment. Not to mention the hangover, the nausea, and the girl shaking her shoulder at this point was further indication that something was amiss. "Ken'ske A'da?"

Asuka blinked and eventually clicked the name together with one of the Asuka-clones.

Did she mention that she was REALLY getting to hate Tokyo-3 with everything that had happened on this trip?

"This is supposed to be my bed, and NO I am not Kensuke Aida!" declared Asuka.

Rei considered her through bleary half-lidded eyes. "Yeh. Too loud be Kens'ke."

"This is supposed to be MY bed," said Asuka, hoping some of this made sense to the girl. Must be another airhead, and a drunkard to boot. Man, none of this was in anything she'd read about the place. The First Child was their little toy soldier who'd do anything they told her, while the Second Child was obviously given that position because he was the Commander's son. Nepotism at its worst.

Except that while the First Child was an albino like had been stated, she was also taking some sort of pills - as indicated by the little prescription bottle at the bedside - and was a drunkard at fourteen.

"Yer b'd?" asked Rei. She looked around and seemed to come to a conclusion. "Kay."

Asuka watched the girl struggle to her feet, then start shuffling off and out the door. Asuka let out a sigh of relief that at last SOMETHING had gone her way.

Wait a minute. Did she steal all the blankets?

The door shuffed open and Ranma Ikari stirred but didn't wake up. There was no attack aimed at him to trigger his avoidance skills, no hostile intent to register as a threat. No approaching environmental condition that might have triggered the Saotome Secret Technique. (Avoid the immediate danger while assessing what the heck was attacking you.)

So Ranma continued to sleep as Rei Ayanami climbed into bed with him and promptly passed out, only noting that Ranma was indeed warm and comfy.

Misato stared at the monitor. "Uhm. Section 2 flagged us, but I don't Did I see what I think I saw?"

Makoto nodded. "Asuka just displaced Rei, who went down the hall and climbed into bed with Ranma."

"This doesn't get video does it?" asked Misato.

"Huh? No. It keeps track of presences in the house by air pressure, infrared, and sensors in the doors and floors," said Makoto. "You should know about that, Doctor Akagi had them installed just before..."

"Before she turned into a fourteen year old kid," said Misato. "Yeah, I was just thinking someone might have put in video feeds - which would make me not so very happy considering I live there."

"If there were," mused Makoto. "It would be above my pay grade to even know about them since you did."

Misato nodded. If they wanted some way to monitor inside, the basic alarm system would be okay - but this was a bit much. She knew who to talk to have some of this stuff removed. "Keep an eye out and let me know if you run across them. I need to go chaperone."

"Nothing's happening," said Makoto. "See, because we can isolate the air pressure - we can tell everyone in THAT room is asleep."

"Oh?" asked Misato. "What's Asuka doing?"

Makoto listened briefly. "I don't speak German, but I believe she's cussing."

Misato took the earphones away and listened briefly. Finally she nodded. "Yes. That's exactly what she's doing."

"Well, at least things can't get any weirder for her after this," said Makoto.

Asuka stripped off the remaining sheets, turned them inside out, and then made the bed again that way. Which lowered the reek of cheap booze. Slightly.

"Ugh," remarked Asuka. Even as tiring and generally a mess as today has been, how the heck am I going to sleep on a bed that reeks like this? Was she drooling onto the pillow?

Finally she just checked the sliding panels in the wall, found spare bedding, and swapped them out.

Ranma got up first and went straight for his pre-breakfast training, using special techniques to get out of bed without disturbing the girl who was spooning him.

WHY Rei was cuddled up against him like that, he didn't know. He decided very quickly he didn't want to know, filed it in a HUGE mental file labelled 'Girl Stuff I Don't Understand' and then proceeded to ignore it.

During his morning exercises, Asuka decided she was NOT getting any sleep here and went off to NERV HQ. Maybe there was some dark corner somewhere she could catch a nap in.

Rei awoke to the smell of food being prepared, frowned ever so slightly at the lack of a Ranma in the bed, and began her prescribed stretches and exercises. During which she realized that she'd had no nightmares and felt a good deal better on awakening than she'd ever had. Also that the bottle of red fluid that Misato kept around for mornings she'd 'tied one on' was apparently a high-electrolyte rehydrating formula that was effective in removing some of the truly annoying after-effects of drinking.

It was a school day though, and that became the next priority to address.

"The Angel has just appeared right off the Coast," said Makoto, pulling up a view from a patrol boat.

"Looks like a crystal d8," said Maya.

"Yeah, you're right," agreed Shigeru Aoba.

"A wha?" asked Ritsuko.

"Dungeons and Dragons," said Shigeru. "They never really put out a good version after 3.5 so you probably never played."

"Magi agree, Pattern Blue - designating as the Fifth Kaiju," said Maya. She'd just keep to herself that the Magi had also agreed that 3.5 was better than 4 or 4.5.

"ANGEL!" insisted Ritsuko. "And shouldn't it be the Sixth?"

"Should the pilot-candidate even be on the bridge? In a 'Hello Kitty' shirt?" asked Shigeru.

"Don't EVEN start with me," said Ritsuko Akagi. "I may be fourteen again, but I still outrank you."

"Yes, ma'am," said Shigeru, sounding very put upon.

"Oh go bang your drum or something," grumbled Ritsuko.

"Okay, so what does a crystal 'd8' do, other than float menacingly?" asked Makoto as Misato finally got onto the bridge.

"You're late!" exclaimed Ritsuko.

"Sorry, there was traffic, what's the sitrep? And why does that look like a giant earring? It isn't one of Asuka's is it?"

"It's an octrahedron," testily stated Ritsuko. "And I would sincerely doubt it!"

"Well, after her panties attacked Tokyo-3, I'm keeping my mind open as far as that," confessed Misato. "Any Evas ready to launch?"

"I'm ready!" said Asuka's voice. "This is my big chance to show what I can do!"

"Rei and Ranma are on their way," said Shigeru. "They were at school. Of course, there's Pilot-Candidate Ritsuko."

"Good point," said Misato before Ritsuko could reply. "Get into a plugsuit, Ritsu!"

"Squee!"

"And NO Maya, you may not get your camera and get photos."

"Spoilsport," mumbled Maya, sitting back down.

"I'm afraid," said Shigeru, not looking up from his board.

"Indeed," added Makoto.

"Prepare to launch Eva! Which Eva is she in, anyway?"

"Unit 02 is still on the way, Unit 00 was ready early." Ritsuko grumped as she headed towards the lift.

"Ranma and Rei have reached the launching bay," said Makoto.

"Hang on, Ritsu, you might as well stick here," relented Misato. "We've got more pilots than Evangelions at this point."

"Finally, a word of sanity," said Ritsuko.

"Says the 'Hello Kitty' fan-girl," retorted Misato.

"If I'm going to be (deleted) fourteen again, then I might as well get out some of my old stuff," said Ritsuko. "Though it's a little tighter in the chest than I remember. Check this out!"

"Eep!" went Maya, too busy to look and really really regretting that. "Asuka ready to launch. Angel has crossed city boundary."

"Launch Eva. And I see what you mean, Ritsu. If you'd had that back in college..." Misato gave a low whistle.

Kozo Fuyutsuki gave an exasperated sound. "Can we get to the problem of the Angel attacking and leave Doctor Akagi's newfound... bounciness... out of it?"

"Uhm, Maya, you can launch Unit 00?" asked Misato.

"Gah!" said Maya, turning back to her station and turning a shade of red hardly ever seen by man. "Launching Unit 00!"

"Any problems, Asuka?" asked Misato.

"Of course not," said Asuka as the Eva launched. "Anyone can synch with the prototype after all. Not like my Unit 02!"

"High energy reading from the Angel!" called out Makoto.

"What?" exclaimed Misato. "Abort the launch!"

"Too late!" said Makoto, thinking it would be handy if they could do that. Well, it'd give the engineers something to do.

"Asuka! Dodge!" called out Misato.

"What?" asked Asuka as the Eva unit reached the end of its journey just a second before the beam weapon struck. Whatever else Asuka was going to say was lost as she used her breath to scream instead.

"Retrieve the Eva!" ordered Misato.

"We can't!" replied Makoto. "Catapult rails have melted."

"No choice then, eject the plug!" ordered Misato.

"Belay that!" instantly countered Gendo from his position.

"That's right, the AT Field is the only thing keeping the Eva from being overwhelmed," said Ritsuko. "If you eject the plug, she dies."

"Ugh," groaned Misato. "We've got no choice then. Fire off explosive bolts on that section of the city. Retrieve the Eva unit!"

Asuka Langley Soryuu woke up to find herself looking at an odd ceiling. "Huh? What?"

"You were recovered, your heart was restarted and you can take it easy now," said a familiar voice.

"Eh?" asked Asuka, slowly propping herself up and realizing that she hurt and felt awfully weak for some reason.

"Ranma and myself will take on the Sixth Angel, and so you can recover from your injuries," said the blue-haired girl. "Or is it the Fifth Kaiju? They're still arguing about that."

"You're the First Child, Rei Ayanami," realized Asuka as the blurring in her vision resolved. "You were in my room."

"That room was given to me, but I had alternate quarters available," said Rei, a faint hint of color appearing on her cheeks.

"Alternate quarters?" asked Asuka.

"Yes," said Rei, a soft smile trying to make an appearance. "It was... the most pleasant sleep I've ever had."

Asuka didn't know about flashes of nightmare, of the pains and weakness, that Rei suffered through on a nightly basis. She didn't know that the previous night, spooned up against a warm Ranma - she'd actually gotten a full six hours of sleep. That for the first time in her life, Rei felt well-rested. Naturally she credited Ranma with that, despite him sneaking out at one point to start breakfast, train, and prep for school.

Asuka didn't know any of this, though suspicions were beginning to bloom. "You... slept with Misato?"

"No, I shared a bed with the Third Child," said Rei softly from the doorway. "It... was quite pleasant."

Asuka's jaw had dropped so hard that there was a chance of dislocation. "Gah?"

The door closed softly behind Rei.

"WHAT?" asked Asuka.

"Look at this," said Maya.

"Ranma's synch ratio is pretty darn good. 86%." Misato nodded.

"No, look at Rei's score," said Maya.

Misato looked, blinked, then grinned. "That's quite an improvement."

"I don't think I've seen her score that high before," admitted Maya.

Misato was still grinning as she punched a button that linked communications to the two Eva units. "Hey, Rei! Your synch ratio is WAY up. Whatever you're doing, keep it up!"

"Thank you, I shall try to do so," said Rei.

"Ranma's just dipped 2%," noted Maya.

"Eh, it's still pretty high," said Misato, wondering what that was about.

"So, anyway, the plan is to snipe the Angel using a high-powered positron rifle," said Misato as the two got on the elevator.

"Right," said Ranma.

Misato took a small gadget out of her purse and waved it around the walls as the elevator lurched into motion. She stopped at one point and brought a small pen-like device (one of the odd things like the Babel Fish she'd kept from Ranma's pocket-emptying attempt the other day) up to a section and depressed a button before moving on. "So what's the plan for dinner tonight?"

"I made up some fried rice, it keeps and reheats well," said Ranma, concentrating briefly.

"Clear," said Misato, folding up the device and putting it back in her purse.

"Yeah, nothing except the one and you already got that," said Ranma.

"So what have you got against the plan?" asked Misato.

"I'm not really that good with guns, ain't trained with 'em that much," said Ranma. "Rei would be a better shooter. But that's aside the point. Before we go to that, I want to try this."

Misato watched as Ranma concentrated and began his technique, saying something under her breath when he did it. She blinked a few times, processing that until Ranma dropped the technique. "So, can you do that in an Eva?"

"Yeah, pretty sure," said Ranma. "See, the Eva has its own ki field and is a weapon. When I'm using a weapon, I can reinforce it and use it to some extent by infusing it with my ki. It's a little clumsy compared to fighting without all that, and I been getting a little headachey when the simulation goes on too long."

"OK. Change of plan," said Misato. "That a ninja move?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Ranma. "Pops stole manuevers from all sorts of places. Wouldn't surprise me at all if some of the manuevers were stolen."

"When the question comes up, that's the explanation I'll give then," answered Misato.

"If you do, get a pic of Ritsuko after you tell her," said Ranma. "I still owe her for that exam."

"Okay, Ranma, are you ready?" asked Misato.

"Almost," said Ranma. "Okay. Ready."

"We're going to use 19R for his exit point," said Misato.

"But that'll put him out beyond the city limits," protested Makoto.

"What ARE you planning?" asked Fuyutsuki.

"Anything that gets within visual range of the Angel is immediately attacked," pointed out Ritsuko.

"Are the missile launchers ready?" asked Misato.

"Ready," reported Shigeru.

"What about Rei?" asked Misato.

"Sniper position ready, however she doesn't have the sort of power to penetrate the AT Field with that weapon. Weren't we going to use the whole power of Japan to power the positron rifle?" asked Shigeru.

"Yeah, we've got that as backup in case Ranma can't pull this off," said Misato. "If it comes to that, he falls back."

"He's going to get himself killed," said Ritsuko.

"You almost sound anxious there," said Shigeru.

"Hardly," said Ritsuko. "I just don't see any chance for success."

"Care to place any bets on it, Ritsu?" asked Misato.

"Sure," said Ritsuko after carefully looking over Misato. Misato was clearly planning something but what?

"Okay, if YOU win, I'll give up beer for a month," said Misato.

(GASP!)

Misato wondered if she liked beer a bit too much since everyone, including Gendo Ikari, were now staring at her like she'd promised to arm-wrestle the Angel into submission or something.

"I can't cover anything that drastic," protested Ritsuko.

"You could wear whatever I pick out for you?" suggested Maya.

"Sure I could do that but..." began Ritsuko.

"Okay. Done!" said Misato cheerfully. "Launch missiles. Launch Unit 01!"

"Wait, I didn't agree to..." protested Ritsuko, though nobody was listening to her at that point.

On the screen, Ramiel's form morphed and it began shooting missiles out of the air.

"Wave 2, cruise missiles, GO!" ordered Misato.

Quite some distance away, readied missiles were launched from submarines - which promptly closed tubes and submerged and went into high-speed evasion. Even if it looked like the Angel was stuck with line-of-sight attacks - nobody really wanted to test that.

As Ramiel took out the missile launchers from the first wave, it apparently noticed the attacks coming in from another direction and morphed again to take those out.

"Cruise missiles have engaged in avoidance, three down. Fourth gone. Fifth gone. Number six is coming straight down at it... Number six gone." Shigeru frowned as he had really been rooting for Number Six after it apparently decided to try arcing up and then approaching from directly above. Some of those smart missiles were really getting smart.

"Unit 01 is on the sur... it just VANISHED?" said Makoto.

Misato grinned. "Check again."

"No sign of it, it just vanished," reported Makoto as he checked instruments.

"How could you LOSE a four hundred foot tall war machine?" asked Kozo Fuyutsuki.

"Ranma," answered Gendo in a very tired and somewhat irritated voice.

"Yeah, if I just told you at the start he knew ninja techniques, who'd have believed me?" asked Misato.

Half the bridge crew raised their hands.

"Oh," said Misato. "Well, I didn't think anyone would believe it."

"NINJA DON'T EXIST!" declared Ritsuko, her orderly world view once again coming under assault. "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! YOU CAN'T JUST POOF AWAY AN EVANGELION! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"It's Ranma," pointed out Shigeru.

"Yup," said Makoto.

"ARGH!"

"Doctor Akagi, kindly avoid shouting," said Kozo quietly in the aftermath of that outburst.

"Energy build-up in the Angel! Wait, now it's dissipating. It's building again and... dissipating again. It's stopped drilling and is..." Makoto tried to figure out what he was looking at.

Misato reached over and grabbed a headset. "Ranma, if you can hear me - it looks like the Angel has figured out you are here but can't locate you."

Makoto made an odd noise. "He's confusing the enemy as well as his allies. I should have seen that coming."

"Got him!" said Shigeru. "He's been working his way in from the outer edge of the city. He just hooked into the power supply at the junction nearest the Angel."

"So that's what the Angel detected, but it still can't find him?" asked Shigeru. "Can he teach anyone else how to do that?"

"Erk!" indicated Ritsuko at the thought of LOTS of Ranma Ikari running around turning common sense and reality on its ear.

"SHORYUKEN!"

Ranma had positioned himself carefully. This was something he'd wanted to do for quite a while, but he'd never really had a chance to try it out. Perfectly calm, cool, invisible, and... right below the eight-sided Angel.

The invisibility technique dropped as he threw everything into the attack, his coiled form springing up and channelling everything into an uppercut that was really a sucker punch. It wasn't like Ryouga would stand still like this while you got into position.

"SHORYUKEN!"

The impact hit and flipped the thing around.

"Did he just use a 'Streetfighter' move on a kaiju?" asked Shigeru.

"ANGEL!"

"Indeed," said Gendo behind his steepled hands.

"He hit it four more times while it was going up!" pointed out Makoto.

"And formed Blazing Sword to cut off a section of it. Now it's a princess cut kaiju," helpfully added Shigeru.

"A little lopsided though," pointed out Makoto.

"Well, it's kind of a rush job," added Shigeru.

"ARGH! It's NOT a kaiju! It's not a Blazing Sword! It's NOT a Shoryuken!"

"Highly concentrated energy field building up in the, uhm, target!"

Misato punched a button on her headset. "Ranma! It's trying to get a bead on you!"

Ranma came down, held his sword in an obvious kenjutsu stance, moving it in a vaguely circular pattern, then blurred.

"Oh! The glittering sword dance of the crescent moon!" Makoto pointed. "I've only seen that in old samurai movies!"

"I've never seen it performed with a light saber," noted Maya.

"Angel's down, sir, core pierced, body full of sword holes," reported Shigeru.

"Fine, tell Ranma to cut down on the showmanship, but he is at least earning his wages," said Gendo. "I'll be in my office."

OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE:

"Hi!" said Maya Ibuki, standing in front of a TV monitor. "Welcome to the Omake part of our show. I'm Maya Ibuki."

"And I'm Misato Katsuragi," said Misato. "Today's online poll is: 'What outfit should Ritsuko wear for the next chapter?'"

"We have several lovely outfits chosen for her," said Maya cheerfully but a bit evilly. "Personally, I favor the 'catgirl Ritsu-chan' costume - which is a modified plugsuit. Functional AND fanservicey."

"I am NOT wearing that!" came from somewhere offstage.

"Whereas I prefer the 'Goth' look with its zigzag and half-black/half-white look for Ritsu," said Misato. "It's from the 2008 calendar, and is up on sites like Danbooru so you can find it easy. Just remember that Ritsu is now a head shorter, at least a cup size larger, and younger."

"Then there's the 'Playboy bunny' outfit, oh - and the Touhou cosplay," said Maya, holding up other outfits.

"Bridal outfit?" asked Misato, holding up a gown. "That's a little too impractical, isn't it? I think the harem girl outfit is better than this."

"Well, that's all the time we have, thanks for voting in the comments section," said Maya, "and tune in next time for Switching Places: Eva! when we'll hear Ritsuko Akagi say:"

"What do you mean I can't wear underwear with my plugsuit, who designed these things?"

"Uhm, you did," answered Misato.