Switching Places/Eva!
by Greylle and Kender_Sci
DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.
Chapter Fifteen: Girl Meets Boy.
"Ugh," said Asuka, grabbing a couple of pills out of the bottle and swallowing them. Then she eyed the kanji on the prescription bottle. Then at the note on the table. "Double ugh."
Getting back to the apartment wasn't a big problem. Not having anything to wear or much in the way of personal supplies WAS a problem. Japanese stuff seemed awfully overpriced.
"-and why do they have to have FOUR alphabets?" demanded Asuka of the empty apartment. "Katakana, hiragana, romanji, and KANJI."
Kanji was going to be a problem, she could tell. How many slash marks were there on this one on the note? Twenty-four, which meant it was about... here.
Glancing at the dictionary and then at the squiggle on the note, Asuka made a couple of contemplative noises as she worked her way through the note that had been left for her. Which had her name in one alphabet, with what looked like bits of all three others in there as well. The problem, besides making her more frustrated and annoyed, was that whoever had written this note wasn't gifted with particularly great handwriting.
A bleep from her phone indicated a text message, causing Asuka to flip it open and discover... "My luggage has been found! Waitaminute, it's WHERE?"
"Where?"
Asuka didn't quite jump out of her skin.
"Shoes," said Rei, moving past her.
"Wha-wha-what?" asked Asuka.
"You forgot to remove your shoes," said Rei, putting a bag of groceries down on the table.
"Oh," said Asuka, remembering that. Why such a thing was important when the floor was tiled, she had no idea. The whole tatami mat thing never made much sense to her anyway.
"Where is your luggage?" asked Rei as Asuka took her shoes off and moved to place them near the door.
"Three pieces of it were apparently sent to your place," said Asuka.
"Which burned down," pointed out Rei in her usual unemotional manner.
"Oh," said Asuka. "So that's why you're here. That also explains why those boxes are over at some management office."
"I see," said Rei as she began methodically putting away the groceries.
"My carry-on only had a few things in it. Another piece of my luggage was apparently infected by an Angel. Two pieces of my luggage ended up in the Grand Duchy Of Fenwick. I've never even HEARD of the Grand Duchy of Fenwick."
"That was actually covered in class," said Rei. "A breakaway kingdom that formed during the aftermath of Second Impact from a community that already been fairly self-reliant. It's located in the Northern Alps, I believe."
"You're kidding me," said Asuka.
"It'll be on a test later this year," said Rei.
"Huh," said Asuka, finding herself unable to tell if Rei was kidding or not. "The bulk of my luggage is in some other place I've never heard of."
"Where's that?" asked Rei, putting away the last of the beer.
"Fresno," answered Asuka. "Weird name."
"I see," said Rei, closing the refrigerator and then heading towards a room.
"What's for dinner, anyway? It's not octopus is it?" asked Asuka.
"I think Ranma made some fried rice," said Rei over her shoulder.
Maya smiled as they rode down the elevator and her phone chimed.
"Wow, how many suggestions have you gotten?" asked Misato as the young technician pulled out her cellphone and checked the messages.
"Only a half-dozen," said Maya simply, then flipped the phone closed. "Ever since word about the bet got around, I've gotten them trickling in. No consensus though."
"Really?" asked Misato.
"Everything from 'A Disney Princess' to 'Princess Leia's costume from when she was Jabba's slave girl' to 'Sailor seifuku' has been coming in." Maya sighed. "Though I keep spotting things and thinking how appropriate this or that would be."
"And you're loving every minute of it," noted Misato.
"Well, yes," admitted Maya.
Misato waited two more floors before asking the first question she'd thought of. "Who had the most surprising suggestion?"
"Commander Ikari," said Maya, putting her phone away.
Misato blinked. "You're kidding. Commander Ikari? Commander Gendo Ikari? What was his suggestion?"
Ritsuko Akagi, who had been thirty years old, now currently fourteen years old, though with her figure looked closer to eighteen years of age, felt a chill down her back as she hacked into a phone and found a list of suggestions which added a level of horror.
Some of the suggestions, such as the Princess Aurora costume from "Sleeping Beauty" weren't exactly risque or anything - but trying to get around in that outfit would have been a right royal pain.
Delete.
The geisha outfit even more so.
Delete.
The 'slavegirl Leia' costume likewise was incredibly impractical and she checked who'd sent that in order to properly get her revenge later.
"CASPAR? How could Caspar have sent a suggestion?" Ritsuko stared at the screen briefly before deciding that it must have been a spoofed address somehow.
Delete with prejudice.
A giggling noise from an air vent drew her attention and she shut down her efforts. Slowly she crept up on it, ready to find out who was pulling this prank on her. As quietly as she could, she scooted a chair over to the suspect vent. She had to take her shoes off to get up on it, and then stretch to reach the thing, but she was able to remove the grill and could now look directly into it.
Which was when a large hairy spider dropped down on her face.
Again.
"!"
Fuyutsuki stood in his usual spot behind Gendo and to the right, watching as various status checks were done and information feeds were displayed.
"Interesting," said Gendo.
Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow and considered whether he really wanted to ask.
Gendo didn't so much as glance at his subordinate as he lifted the report in question and held it in the older man's direction.
Fuyutsuki plucked it from Gendo's fingers with a frown and looked it over himself. "I didn't see anything happen during that fight."
"Nonetheless, the reduction of mass might be negligible - but it was recorded by three entirely different instruments," pointed out Gendo.
"But it's only fifty kilograms," said Fuyutsuki. "When you're dealing with something of the apparent mass of an Angel that's hardly noticeable."
"It occurred while Ranma was using his uppercut attack," said Gendo.
"What of 'Makie'?" said Fuyutsuki. "Has she been able to explain it or find the missing mass?"
Gendo considered that before nodding. "Good idea. We'll have our tame Angel find the missing mass. In the meantime the area will be under quarantine anyway."
Asuka was rewarded with the beeping noise and took the plate of food from the microwave, sniffing once at the mixture. It smelled edible, but it was fixed by the Daddy's Boy and so it couldn't possibly be tasty.
Ah, here came the doll. She'd changed clothes. "WHAT are you wearing?"
Rei glanced at her. "Clothes."
Asuka let out a disgruntled hiss. "No. Why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?"
Rei considered Asuka for a few seconds, her head cocked slightly to the side, before answering. "Matching outfits."
"Matching what?" asked Asuka, who thought the red top and black pants really didn't suit Rei's coloration at all. "And what's with the towel?"
"Ranma is currently engaged in his evening personal training exercises," said Rei, hefting the towel she'd placed over one shoulder. "I will observe."
Asuka took a bite of the mixed veggies and rice and made a face. Okay, it's not bad but it isn't that great either. When 'Daddy's Boy' made this he must have forgotten to put any meat in. Well, at least it's passable with the grilled tofu.
Asuka ate in silence for a few minutes. When finished she rinsed the plate off and put in the dishwasher, considering things in the 'mission' she'd been handed. If I go out there while Nepotism Junior is doing some lame exercises, I can give him hints on how he can do it better. Ugh. Why do I have to do this? Some lame boy who is never going to be as good as Kaji! Well, once I have the chance to prove myself - Daddy's Boy can be put somewhere safe and sound and I'll take care of the Angels myself!
Thus heartened and with a solid plan in place, Asuka decided to find out where this spoiled little brat was doing his pushups or jogging or whatever.
Rei watched as Ranma exercised. She was aware of the hidden Section 2 agents. She was also aware that they wouldn't do a darn thing unless foreign agents, an Angel, or something similar got involved.
Rei was also aware of Ranma Ikari doing things that would have caused a physics teacher to deny that any of this was possible.
When she'd gotten there, he'd grabbed up a scabbarded sword of some European design. Then he practiced a few quick-draw manuevers before doing what looked to her like sword-kata. Except that kenjutsu as she understood it normally involved standing in one spot and not practiced mid-leap in between buildings.
Rei held the towel and observed carefully, memorizing details. There was a distraction though, and she shifted a little. Why am I getting this warm feeling? It seems oddly... pleasant.
"So where is this... MEIN GOTT!"
Rei glanced to the side and saw that the Second Child had come up to the roof and was now staring with her mouth open as Ranma leapt in midair, bringing his sword up and making a few slashing moves. Something odd occurred though, as the targets placed on another roof abruptly exploded.
"W-w-w-what?" said Asuka.
"As stated, Ranma-kun is practicing his martial arts," said Rei softly.
"N-no way," said Asuka as Ranma leapt from one building to another at high speed, finally bouncing to a halt and then holding out his hand with a scabbard. A moment later the sword he'd been using slid into place in that scabbard.
Rei glanced to the side and saw that Asuka was still staring and her mouth had come open again. Hmmm. Why did it feel uncomfortable somehow to have another woman looking at her Ranma like that? How peculiar.
Then Ranma took his shirt off and Rei found her usual mental dialogue going offline as various unfamiliar sensations demanded her attention. Eventually though she did realize she had a towel, and he was sweating. This was one of those situations that was described as relationship material in one of those how-to manga. Rei stepped forward, still a bit distracted by the odd sensations.
"WAIT ONE MINUTE!" yelled Asuka. "EXPLANATIONS! NOW!"
Rei glanced at her fellow female pilot as she considered the possibility of toweling off Ranma instead of just handing him the towel. "Loud."
"Lemmee finish my workout, wouldja?" asked Ranma from where was balancing by one hand on the butt-end of his sword.
"THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!" declared Asuka.
"That's what Doctor Akagi keeps insisting," noted Rei.
"BECAUSE IT IS!"
"Nah, it's just martial arts," said Ranma as he pushed off with one hand so that he could switch hands and balance himself with the other one.
"WHAT?" asked Asuka.
Ranma flipped back and took the towel offered him by Rei.
What is this feeling? pondered Rei. Is this disappointment? Why does the sweat highlighting his musculature cause this odd set of sensations?
Asuka stared some more, her gaze occasionally flicking to the First Child and then back to the Third Child. There seemed to be some things about the situation that had not been covered in her original information.
She'd just expected to find some spindly little boy who was doing push-ups or some other lame exercise. The Third Child could only have been selected on the basis of his father being the Commander - nepotism at its worst!
Not spindly - she could see that he had lean wiry muscle in place.
Little - not at all as he was taller by a head than she or the Teacher's Pet.
Push-ups were not being done unless you counted one-handed while balancing on an upright sword.
"LET ME SEE THAT!" declared Asuka. It has to be a trick.
Ranma Ikari gave ground before her feminine wrath, as was proper. The sword, however, seemed to be a perfectly serviceable sword.
"Okay, what's the trick?" asked Asuka after she'd tried to figure out how he'd done that.
"Training. Years of training. Plus, I'm just that good," said Ranma, shrugging and spreading his hands.
Asuka gave a flat look towards Ranma then regarded the sword again.
"It would really be best if you just accepted it," said Rei softly.
"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" asked Asuka.
"Doctor Akagi has the same difficulty in dealing with Ranma-kun's abilities," said Rei in the same soft emotionless voice. "According to what I have overheard, there is a belief among some personnel that she will eventually crack from the strain."
"Huh?" asked Asuka AND Ranma.
Rei considered how to put this from overheard comments, and in keeping with her reading material and understanding of the role of 'girlfriend' and came up with one. "Ranma is simply too awesome for Doctor Akagi to deal with."
"Oh, okay, THAT I can understand," said Ranma, nodding. Made sense. There were a lot of guys at Furinkan who'd been the same way. Even that one physics teacher that had to go off on some kind of occupational stress thing when Miss Hinako had shown up.
Asuka rounded on Ranma after that statement. "Ha! Anything you can do, I can do! And better!"
Ranma frowned. He really didn't want this going downhill, and it was already going downhill way too fast.
"Oh!" said Rei, blinking. "I understand."
"I am really doubting that somehow," mumbled Ranma.
"You're the martial artist protaganist, and therefore you have to have a rival," said Rei. "I've read several series and they all have that pattern. So Asuka is your rival. Or a tsundere."
"Oh," said Ranma, thinking about that. "You know, maybe you've got something there."
"What does that make YOU, First Child?" asked Asuka.
"Romantic lead," said Rei matter-of-factly.
"Oh. Okay," Asuka began... until Rei's words filtered through her thoughts. Then her head whipped around to stare at the blue haired girl. "What? Did you say what I think I heard you say?"
The First Child gave the redhead a flat look. "It was not my understanding that your hearing was not disabled."
"My hearing is just fine!"
"Then why did you ask for the confirmation?"
"Because how could someone like you even think of being romantic with anyone?" the Second Child scoffed.
"But it is odd that you care so much about my romantic prospects."
"That is true," Ranma allowed, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "You do seem put out by that."
Asuka scowled at them both and wondered why they would think of something like that. She couldn't figure out why the doll faced girl's romantic interests would be of any interest to her... and then she remembered the mission that she had been given. So then, of course she would have a reason to pay attention to the big lug's relationships. That had to be the reason, and she had been considering what she was going to have to do with him after all.
Not that she was at all agitated about the matter. Glancing at the pale girl, it just didn't seem that someone like Rei could be romantic with anyone. That would have taken some sort of awareness of such things, and it just didn't seem like she had it. Why, if there was an award for 'poker faces', it would have gone to the First Child. Added to her seeming passive behavior in hanging around the boy, she didn't even seem to understand how to be romantic.
Almost laughing to herself, Asuka let one side of her mouth curl up. "Sorry if it seemed that way. I'm just surprised that the ghost here could be so forward."
"She's no 'ghost'," Ranma protested.
"Come on, I'm just saying that she's so quiet, that having her speak is odd."
"Well, she does tend to not talk much."
"Exactly," the redhead drawled. "But fortunately, I've finally gotten here."
He blinked at her. "And what are you supposed to do?"
"Well, what can't I do? At the very least, I can bring some life around here."
"It's not like things have been all that bad before. Okay, so it's not quite what I expected, but I figure that it's been going alright so far."
"Letting it be is fine for someone who wants to be boring. Hanging around with me can only make things better. Don't you worry," Asuka told him, jabbing one finger onto his chest... and then quickly pulled her hand back.
"What? Something wrong?" the pigtailed boy asked.
"No. Nothing," the redhead murmured, but she shifted her position as soon as she realized that she was holding the finger that she'd touched him with. Obviously, that had to do with the fact that she'd gotten dampness on her her finger. That had to be why she was watching the sweat drip along the hard muscles of his torso. Well, he was damp, so that was probably how his hair was hanging down over his forehead and over his eyes a little. Such a thing couldn't be really distracting her though. She was too mature to fall apart just from seeing an attractive face and bright blue eyes.
At least this whole idea of her being assigned to hang around him wouldn't be such a chore anymore.
Noticing Rei giving her a very flat stare, Asuka smiled back at her and tried to figure out why the other girl just seemed unable to perk up.
Rei regarded the other girl in the situation with a flat look. Only one very familiar with her would recognize that she was actually fairly annoyed.
Which meant that Ranma, oddly enough, picked up on it a bit. Asuka missed it entirely though.
On the other hand, Ranma didn't understand most of the references Rei was throwing around. He didn't want to admit that, but he knew martial arts movies and such. There WAS always a rival - he figured Ryoga was that way back home but here he didn't really have one. Unless, as Rei indicated, that was Asuka.
Asuka didn't understand a lot of what was going on, but did know most of the terms and phrases that Rei was using. However - she'd also been off balance ever since she'd gotten the notice to leave nice safe and sane Germany to come to the considerably less so Japan.
Following Rei and Ranma back to the apartment, Asuka found her eyes straying to a well-developed male butt and wondered what all hadn't been covered by her briefing. Clearly she had to do her own research, because the information she'd started out with had some serious omissions.
Rei had been curious about the role she'd chosen to play and had no problem admitting her own lack of knowledge regarding such things. Ignorance was curable though, so she could research such a thing.
She had read through a few manga described as dealing with the complex web of social interaction which was found under the title of 'romance' and 'relationships.'
To that end, she had requisitioned a laptop computer from NERV and had several websites bookmarked. She even had one dating-sim on there, which she'd already failed at twice. She had a number of potentially useful events planned out.
She double-checked what was quickly becoming a useful reference for such activities. TV Tropes Japan.
She therefore waited outside the door to the bathroom with her bucket of bath-things.
"Uhm, question from the back of the room."
Rei's eyes went to Asuka.
"Why are you naked?" asked Asuka.
"To go in and use the bath," said Rei.
"Well, that explains the towels and such. Ranma's in there," pointed out Asuka.
"Yes he is," agreed Rei.
"So... you're waiting for him to come out?" asked Asuka.
"No, I am waiting for a sound that would indicate it is the proper time for me to accidently walk in on him and then make the 'offer to scrub backs'," Rei informed Asuka.
"Uh, right," said Asuka. "You are accidently going to walk in on him and you're just waiting for the right time."
"Indeed," answered Rei.
Asuka twitched once. "You know, I don't think you're supposed to do something 'accidental' like that on purpose."
"My research on the matter reveals that this is a common step between couples," said Rei, considering Asuka briefly. "Unless this is a 'harem' situation and we're supposed to walk in on him together."
"A 'harem'? Like one guy and a lot of girls?" asked Asuka. "Whose idea was this?"
"TV Tropes dot jp," said Rei. "They go into detail on such incidents."
"TV what?" asked Asuka.
Maya Ibuki could, among many talents she rarely could demonstrate, sew. She was also very fond of cars and engines and could take apart a typical small car and put it back together in an unusual location. Which she had done once in her early college years after four beers and a wager.
Maya found that in her current situation, her ability to sew would allow her to alter much of Doctor Akagi's clothing so that it would fit her now-youthened state.
Doctor Akagi, Maya felt, would truly appreciate that. Especially once she found the altered plugsuit. With the functional tail and catear-shaped Interface Headset.
Yeah, after wearing THAT for a little while - Doctor Akagi would probably appreciate something a little less fanservicey.
Rei walked in, bath-things ready. "Ranma, would you mind... he's not here?"
"What do you mean he's not here?" asked Asuka, curiosity engaged as she peered around the corner and then determined that the bath area was missing a male teenager. "But... I heard him in here."
"Ah," said Rei. "This is his ninja technique that he used to attack the latest angel."
"WHAT?" asked Asuka. "'Ninja'? Ninja don't exist."
Rei considered the apparently-empty bathroom. "Most likely he was forewarned by your interrogation of myself directly outside the bathroom door. Since his technique is stealth-oriented, one might predict his likely location as being - there!"
A towel whipped out and slapped into a suddenly-there Ranma.
"Erk!" said Asuka on suddenly being confronted with a naked boy who was trying to grab a towel a few feet away from her.
Rei watched silently as Asuka tried to intercept Ranma and catch the towel, and she grabbed... something else altogether.