Switching Places/Eva!

by Greylle and Kender_Sci

DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.

Chapter Seventeen: Lord Of The Dance.

She looked sort of like Yui, or like a more grown-up Rei with different hair and eye color.

She was also as hidden as well as she could manage given the paranoid security level to be expected of a hidden underground base run by mad scientists. She was helped by being the number one mad scientist here, being at least partially a copy of Washu.

Fingers danced over a keyboard, she paused and then hit enter. She'd need a remote access, and to leave here to avoid being caught.

"Now if I could just figure out where those two Ree went," muttered 'Yui' to herself.

The air vent jiggled a bit.

"Any luck?"

"I can almost reach it."

The air vent jiggled a bit more.

"Not quite."

"Well, this certainly isn't fun."

The three Magi supercomputers were tied into a variety of sensor systems and equipment.

When a technician named Kyoko Mihara was pushing a cart and hit a section of uneven flooring, Balthazar noted that the case containing the silver-crystalized chunk of Ramiel had cracked upon impact.

All three Magi were monitoring when the young technician wrestled the case back onto the cart and it tilted. All three therefore noted when the technician's hand came into contact with the chunk of Angel.

Balthazar noted that the temperature of the crystal rose rapidly.

Caspar noted the cracks running through the outer crystalization.

Melchior brought up a full analysis, noted that this was not a full angel, and questioned what to term this new lifeform.

"!" declared the cube as it levitated up over the screaming technician.

Gendo Ikari facepalmed. He didn't do such things often, but felt that this occasion merited it.

"So we've got a mini-Ramiel floating about," said Fuyutsuki. "Plus Little Miss Shamshel. What next?"

"If nothing else, this gives us further opportunities for research and understanding," said Ritsuko. "Though the creature is too small for much understanding of events."

"We should simply destroy it," said Gendo.

"We can always destroy it later," pointed out Fuyutsuki.

"How do we know it isn't going to suddenly run amok, grow to giant size, and kill us all?" asked Gendo.

"More reason for analyzing it all," said Ritsuko. That this would keep her so busy that she wouldn't be put in a plugsuit and forced to take "backup pilot" as her occupation was just a happy little coincidence. Not part of her plans, no not at all.

Lorenz Kiel was not prone to facepalms. He was also not prone to reaching for a bottle of Excedrin Migraine Formula. He was currently facepalming with one hand and reaching for that bottle with the other.

"This was not in the Dead Sea Scrolls, was it?" asked Monolith #2.

"NOTHING is going by the Dead Sea Scrolls!" yelled Monolith #3, his voice beginning to climb up the register. "What in the hells is going on with our scenario?!"

"Everything is still on track for Human Instrumentality," said Kiel. "On the other hand, this gives us the chance to possibly learn more and refine the plan accordingly."

"THIS IS COMPLETELY INSANE!" declared Monolith #3.

"We've noticed," said Monoliths #4, #7, and #8 in a completely deadpan and somewhat snarky tone.

"What's the next Angel according to the schedule?" asked Monolith #6.

"If our interpretation is correct," said Kiel, checking his notes. "They have defeated Sachiel, defeated and recruited Shamshel, and defeated Ramiel and made a pet of its spawn. Gaghiel was killed by Langley-Soryu and Ikari. The next Angel will be either the Angel Of Dance or the Gender Angel Sandalphon."

"I need a vacation," grumbled Monolith #3.

"Yes, we quite agree," said Monoliths #4, #7, and #8 in a fairly deadpan and snarky tone.

"Have I mentioned I'm really beginning to hate you guys?" asked #3.

"Yes, you have," said Monoliths #4 through #8. #6 sounded tired of the whole thing.

Mini-Ramiel (MiRa for short), flicked through a few shapes as it floated in midair.

"It appears to like 'I Love Lucy' and the 'Three Stooges'," noted Ritsuko Akagi as she observed the mini-Angel. "It also responds positively towards certain types of music."

"What kinds of music?" asked Maya.

"Euro-Classical, particularly Baroque, Classic Rock, and Fusion," said Ritsuko absently, her attention mainly on a display. "She also apparently likes Big Band. She does not, however, like Polka."

Maya blinked and stared at the ceiling. "So what are we calling Angels that defect to our side? I mean, we can't still keep calling them 'Angels' can we?"

"No idea, I'm just hoping we can figure out how to turn me back to normal," muttered Ritsuko.

MiRa formed a question-mark shape as a commercial came on for a robot dog-replacement.

"People miss dogs and cats and similar pets since they were wiped out in Second Impact," said Ritsuko, thumbing on the intercom.

MiRa went through a couple of other shapes, though whether it was a reaction to the explanation or something else was completely unclear.

"Uhm, there are still dogs and cats, sempai. It's just that they're all fourteen years old or older," Maya pointed out.

"And how much longer are those going to hold out?" asked Ritsuko. "Point taken though. I think the cat my Aunt is taking care of may be one of the last."

"How much do you suppose it actually understands?" asked Maya, a nod indicating where the crystal was shifting around in the air while an ad for a late-night Superman marathon played.

"Probably not much," said Ritsuko confidently. "Look at her tastes in television."

Asuka grumbled under her breath. It's all Ranma this and Ranma that. Pure luck. Yeah, and that bit with the rooftops had to be wires and mirrors. Or something like that.

Lesser beings (mainly technicians) scrambled to get out of her way as she stalked towards the bay where Unit 02 was being repaired.

Repairs to take another week. Bah. That leaves the stupid Third Child to get all the glory if another Angel attacks! Damn it!

Still, there were the chew-marks where her Evangelion had gotten chewed on. They're also talking about strained sections that need reinforcing or replaced entirely. Honestly, it was just ONE Angel.

What REALLY got under her skin was that she hadn't killed it on her own. No, that Daddy's Little Boy had gotten in on HER kill. And she still thought fishing for an Angel was just plain wrong and stupid.

"Asuka!" came a cheerful hail.

Asuka blinked and glanced to the side. "Oh. Makie. Now really isn't a good time."

The other girl smiled and shrugged. "I saw the video of your fight against Gaghiel. That was really impressive!"

Asuka paused and considered the apparently sincere girl. "Okay. What part exactly was impressive?"

"You managed to take on the kaiju like that despite it being so much bigger than you," said Makie. "Then you stabbed it enough times that you weakened it for your team-mate to be able to take it down. That was so cool!"

"I could have taken it down myself," protested Asuka.

"Oh yeah, eventually, I'm sure," said Makie, nodding and making a little agreeable noise while doing stretches. "Bad luck that it managed to get your power cord though. Really, can't they come up with something better than extension cords?"

"What would you expect them to use, a nuclear reactor or something?" asked Asuka, quirking an eyebrow at the girl in the leotard.

"No, that would be as silly as trying to use solar power," said Makie, who was now stretching out while doing a handstand.

Asuka tried to picture an Evangelion carrying a building's worth of solar panels around and shook her head. Well, there goes a good sulk. Trying to sulk around Makie is just futile I guess, she's too damn cheerful.

"Well, at least you got to see action," said Makie. "I still can't go out anywhere. Oh huh."

"What?" asked Asuka.

"Israfel just manifested, but is inactive," said Makie, rolling to her feet and pulling out her cell phone. "They want me to let those weird computer things know about that."

"'Israfel'?" asked Asuka.

Ranma stared at the little crystal d8 floating in the air without a concern. "How does it do that?"

Ritsuko Akagi blinked, looked in the direction of the little angelspawn and studied it for a moment. Since each facet was completely devoid of marks and identical to every other facet, it was hard to tell whether it was looking back but she got that impression anyway. "Do what?"

"MiRa is floating in midair without any support at all," said Ranma. "I wonder if it's like Herb's trick..."

"Herb?" asked Ritsuko.

"Hmmm," hmmed Ranma, who sat down on the tiled floor and pulled his legs into a lotus position.

"What are you doing?" asked Maya.

"Trying to figure it out," said Ranma as he went still, eyes closing.

"Meditating?" asked Ritsuko, returning her attention to a waveform analysis of sonar readings around the little crystal. At least he'll be quiet.

Ranma appeared to be meditating, occasionally flicking open his eyes and looking at MiRa before returning to whatever he was doing.

MiRa made a brief series of tones that sounded vaguely like an old Alka Seltzer jingle as she set herself up in an orbit around the martial artist.

"I'm glad you could make time so quickly," said Fuyutsuki, not looking up from his paperwork.

"I wasn't busy," said Asuka, though she sounded annoyed.

"Are you sure you should be associating with 'Makie'?" asked Fuyutsuki.

"Why not?" asked Asuka. "She seems nice. One of the saner people I've met around here actually."

Fuyutsuki actually looked up from his paperwork in order to stare at Asuka.

"What?" asked Asuka.

Fuyutsuki stared for a few seconds more at the Second Child, then turned his attention back to his paperwork.

"What?" repeated Asuka.

"Never mind. Too much trouble. I get quite enough trouble," said Fuyutsuki. "Just... remember that she's not officially a member of NERV and much of what we do is classified."

"I understand what 'classified' means," said Asuka, sounding somewhat miffed. So that's what this is about. They think she's a spy or something? Wait. No, that's ridiculous. She's too much a simpleton to be an effective spy.

"Good, now we have word that the next kaiju... I mean 'Angel' will arrive in roughly four days," said Fuyutsuki.

"Oh, yeah, Israfel. I got an e-mail alert on that. Who names these things anyway? I looked it up and it came up with 'Angel of the Dance'," said Asuka, making a disgusted noise. "What's it going to do, challenge us to 'Dance Dance Revolution IV' or something?"

Fuyutsuki blinked, lifted his head again to regard Asuka with a thoughtful expression.

"What?" asked Asuka.

"If it would work, that would be the cheapest solution to an attack we'd ever faced," said Fuyutsuki. He then shrugged and went back to paperwork. "It's a pleasant thought though."

Asuka went away from that meeting with this ball of dread in her stomach. Mainly at the thought that the next sortie against the enemy would involve musical accompaniment.

Rei was not entirely sure what the duties of a girlfriend in such a setting was. However, she DID have a few suggestions from the forums and had extrapolations based on what she found on tvtropes-dot-jp. Ranma Ikari was obviously the Hot Blooded main character who was the Hotshot Pilot and...

Rei Ayanami sighed as the timer went off and she logged off from that particular site. Ever since that one day where she'd glanced up at the clock and found that six hours had passed, she had to limit her time researching on that site.

She was obviously the Emotionless Girl, which was good as that conferred moe points. She wasn't entirely sure of the definition of "moe" as it appeared to be something that was inferred rather than set out in precise terms. However, having such points was clearly beneficial.

Whereas the Second Child is clearly the Tsundere and my Rival. Therefore it is necessary that I better my position. I wonder if I should acquire some secondary aspects of this 'moe'? Would it not further my position?

Rei considered that, then nodded. She would have to consider the possibilities.

For now though, she had training.

MiRa shifted to a shape more resembling a Mobius strip, then zipped over to Maya. Maya blinked, then looked over at where Ranma was still apparently meditating. Had he gotten taller? Maya's gaze drifted down as she sipped a bottled water.

SPLURSH!

MiRa made a little displeased noise as the water dripped off of it, then drifted off somehow conveying that it found this all quite beneath her dignity.

"Doctor Akagi?" asked Maya in a weak voice.

"Speak up, Maya, you're in a position of authority here at NERV," said Doctor Akagi. "You can be a little more assertive."

"You know when Ranma said he was studying MiRa's contra-gravity field?" asked Maya.

"It's just an effect with an AT field, and he'd never use terminology like that," said Ritsuko.

"He's doing it," said Maya.

Ritsuko stopped studying the field data on her screen, going absolutely still.

"Sempai?" asked Maya as Ranma bobbed up into the air another inch.

"Not listening," said Ritsuko.

"Sempai?" repeated Maya.

Ritsuko put her hands over her ears. "Not listening. Lalalalalala."

"Sempai?" asked Maya, getting a bit weirded out.

"When I asked if he did impossible things before breakfast, I didn't expect him to take it as a challenge," said Ritsuko. "But I'm not listening. It could absolutely not be happening therefore it is NOT happening."

"But he's doing it," attempted to point out Maya.

"Still not listening."

MiRa made a chiming noise that sounded vaguely interrogative.

"You're right, MiRa-chan!" said Maya, brightening. "I know exactly what sempai needs!"

"So very much NOT listening."

MiRa made another set of musical notes that sounded like a question somehow.

"A makeover!" declared Maya.

MiRa made the same sort of sound one might expect at the start of a horse race.

"I'll be right back, I left the gas on in the main EVA hangar," said Ritsuko, standing up abruptly and leaving.

Maya blinked. "There aren't any gas appliances in the hangars. Come on, MiRa-chan. We're in hot pursuit!"

It moved, the water forming no barrier to its passage.

Unfortunately something had shifted. Something had shifted a lot. Therefore Israfel had manifested off the coast of Mackay in Queensland Australia. Dubbed the "miracle city" shortly after Second Impact, it had survived despite now being part of an island as there were flooded areas to the North and South and a big rift to the West.

Israfel had manifested, struggled ashore, terrorized the populace as it approached, and abruptly realized it was on the wrong island.

Byrne's Pie Factory declared they'd be having a 'We Chased Off A Kaiju/Angel' sale just soon as anyone figured out HOW they'd managed to chase it off. It was pointed out that during the chaos immediately after Second Impact, some people had raided various armories or otherwise produced weaponry that was not strictly legal. It was pointed out to those people that Old Man Byrne with an M1918 Browning was indeed formidable, but not exactly up to running off a kaiju.

That statement was circulated, and so more and more people started using 'kaiju' instead of 'angel' because honestly they DID look a bit more like giant monsters than the sort of statues one saw in a Christian church.

Gendo sat behind his desk, fingers steepled in front of him. The lighting, the ambiance, the way the small platform left him looking down on potential visitors - all calculated to have a psychological effect on those called to his presence. All of which was completely wasted on his current visitor. "Ranma."

"Yo, Oyaji. This about the new kaiju heading our way?" asked a perfectly relaxed and at-ease Ranma.

"You will stop doing impossible things in front of Doctor Akagi," said Gendo.

"What about when I'm fighting one of those kaiju?" asked Ranma. "I mean, those things are pretty darn impossible on their own, ain't they?"

Gendo paused as if deep in thought. "The kaiju... Angels are to be defeated by any means possible."

"Can you just try to tone it down in front of Doctor Akagi?" asked Fuyutsuki from his own position in the room. Oddly enough he sounded both exasperated and amused. "She's having a difficult enough time on her own."

"Oh," said Ranma. "Uhm. I s'pose."

"Did you actually figure out a way to copy the levitation property of some kai... Angels?" asked Fuyutsuki.

Ranma's body didn't budge an inch as he lifted his legs and brought them up as if sitting on a cushion. The distinct lack of falling was well noted by both of the adults.

"I see," said Fuyutsuki.

"Very well. Dismissed," said Gendo.

Fuyutsuki was silent for a few moments after Ranma had sauntered out of the office. "Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by now?"

"Indeed," noted Gendo.

"So he can fly, or at least hover," said Fuyutsuki. "If he can get Unit 01 to do that."

"It would be a very large kite floating at the end of its power cable," noted Gendo. "It doesn't change anything at this point."

Zettai Ryouiki was an obvious moe to use, and so Rei moved to acquire the necessary materials with her usual efficiency.

An old-fashioned sailor fuku might be suitable, but considering the school uniform was rated rather poorly on the forum she found it listed on - unlikely to be something she could utilize without being obvious.

Rei Ayanami considered before purchasing some of these 'thigh high' white socks. Perhaps a pair of these 'fashion glasses' would enhance the image she was attempting to put forward.

Perhaps.

Oh, is that Maya Ibuki leading Doctor Akagi into the store? Perhaps they were attempting to upgrade their own moe factor. I should observe in order to better understand the subtleties involved.

"She's shopping for what?" asked Asuka.

"Apparently she's shopping for 'moe'," said Misato, loading beer into her fridge.

"What's a 'moe'?" asked Asuka, wondering if she needed some.

"It's a Japanese mangling of a term in an old song, I think. Mony Mony by Tommy James and the Shondells," said Misato, not knowing the answer herself. "Mony Mony. Moe Moe."

Asuka considered that, but old songs were hardly her area of expertise. More Japanese weirdness no doubt. They find an idea they like, then adopt it as their own and mangle it in some way.

"Oh by the way, I ran into a couple of you down at the market," said Misato. "One of them was complaining about how so many of the other Asuka were bustier than she was."

Asuka growled slightly and accidently crushed the juice box in her hand. Which sent the contents spraying down on Pen Pen as he waddled by.

Pen Pen merely directed a flat look at Asuka before turning around and heading back towards the bathroom.

"You're going to clean that up, right?" asked Misato of Asuka.

Fuyutsuki was finding his "ignore distraction" talent taking a hit.

MiRa was currently making a series of trills as it/she orbitted his office, and he had just finally placed the tune.

It was "And The Merry Go Round Broke Down" - which did very little for his peace of mind.

"Shouldn't you go be bothering Doctor Akagi?" asked Fuyutsuki finally.

MiRa stopped and the "d8" shape shifted around to a series of other geometric forms.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand you," said Fuyutsuki, who also didn't understand how MiRa kept getting out of containment either.

MiRa flitted over to a TV monitor, which turned itself on.

Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow at that display. "You can manipulate electromagnetic fields... oddly enough that makes sense with the big version able to do a particle beam."

Darth Vader's image appeared on the screen. "You have no idea of the power of a Darkside."

"Oh really? Around here?" asked Fuyutsuki.

The TV image changed. Ricky Ricardo slapped his forehead. "Ay caramba!"

Fuyutsuki nodded. "Agreed. What about Ranma Ikari? Perhaps you could go visit him."

MiRa spun rapidly and the image on the screen changed again. "Up up and away!"

Watching the little thing go zipping off, Fuyutsuki shook his head. "Kids."

Ranma would be quick to point out that the Saotome School emphasized manueverability and mid-air attacks. That wasn't the real reason he was doing what he was doing though.

His new special manuever was COOL!

Not to mention he could save money once he got his speed up. Buses? Trains? Boats? Bypass the whole thing. Proceed directly to awesome, don't bother with the mundane stuff.

And if he ever got home after this, just imagine the possibilities!

"!" said a crystal d8 as it came alongside him.

"Yo, thanks for the help figuring this out," said Ranma, thinking that might be what the little guy was after.

MiRa sounded off a quick series of notes, but Ranma didn't recognize what it was supposed to be.

"Hey, big Rami had that blast attack," realized Ranma. "You got anything like that?"

The noise from MiRa sounded interrogative.

"Well, who am I to complain if you want to keep a secret manuever secret?" asked Ranma.

MiRa made a noise vaguely like a raspberry.

"Whatever," said Ranma, whose expression went mischievous. "How about a game of tag?"

MiRa made an interrogative noise, then shot a quick bolt of lightning at nothing in particular.

"Uhm, here," said Ranma, diving down and then coming up with a sheet. "You can try to grab this. I'll just tie this in place."

MiRa tried to tag the cloth, missed, then gave something akin to a squeal of delight as Ranma got serious about evading.

"I'm not that fond of Yebisu," said Asuka as she stood on the rooftop, looking across the roofs at Tokyo-3.

"After what we've been through, we need a good beer," said Ritsuko Akagi.

"Well, that's just it. This isn't a bad Japanese beer, but I prefer a good German lager if I can get it," protested Asuka.

"Just be grateful for this," said Ritsuko, who then stopped talking to down a good half of the can at once.

Asuka wasn't about to come in second place and chugged at least three quarters of it.

"Oh hey. Didn't see you there."

Asuka and Ritsuko lowered their cans of beer to stare at Ranma. Hovering in midair for a moment, before taking off at high speed again - with a red cape fluttering behind him.

Asuka and Ritsuko stood there for a few moments, getting another glimpse of red caped streak flying amongst the buildings.

A/N: "Mony Mony" is a real song, but i'd always thought they were saying 'mo-ay' and then when 'moe' became a real term - it became hard for me NOT to hear that word used.

Someone ought to do a music video.

Byrne's Pie Factory and Mackay Australia are likewise real places. Never been there, but i've listened to one of their radio stations when i'm at work in a clean room a few times. Thought i'd toss them in since i get a few readers from that part of the world.