Switching Places/Eva!
by Greylle and Kender_Sci
DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.
Chapter Eighteen: Asuka's Run.
Asuka Langley Soryu was quite intelligent, when she applied herself and wanted to be. Ever since she'd come to Japan, she had been trying to make sense of a world that had made less and less sense.
A rational explanation for her world getting thrown upside-down or at least seriously sideways was something she wanted very much.
Asuka lowered the can of Yebisu carefully onto the railing outside of the apartment and considered what she had just seen. "You know. That was completely impossible. On the other hand, it makes sense."
Ritsuko grabbed the can that Asuka had just set down and drained it in a very rapid manner.
"So, Ranma Ikari is a strange visitor from another planet," said Asuka thoughtfully. "That would explain why he can beat my synchronization scores."
"Ranma Ikari is NOT from Krypton. Krypton doesn't exist," said Ritsuko. "I can draw blood from him. The needles don't bend... well except for the first three times I tried but once he relaxed some..."
"Uh huh," said Asuka thoughtfully. "Okay. Where's my Batmobile?"
"Excuse me?!" asked Ritsuko. "I am not nearly drunk enough for this conversation."
"I can drive you know," said Asuka.
"You're too young for a license," noted Ritsuko, who then hung her head. "For that matter, so am I now. Damn Angels."
"So... no Batmobile?" asked Asuka.
"No," said Ritsuko.
"I suppose an Invisible Plane is out of the question," said Asuka.
"Why are you going on about this?" asked Ritsuko.
"Can I at least get a decent beer instead of this post-Impact Japanese stuff?" asked Asuka.
"I know a place that has German beers on tap," said Ritsuko.
"Will they let us in?" asked Asuka.
"We'll have to find out, won't we?" asked Ritsuko.
"Lead on," said Asuka.
There was silence for a few minutes as the two left. It was only after they were on the bus that Asuka broke that silence.
"I suppose that exposure to an Angel's AT field could trigger super powers is too much to hope for."
"Ranma Ikari is NOT Superman!" shouted Ritsuko, raising her head to face the ceiling of the bus.
When she brought her head back down, she was aware that everyone else on the bus was staring at her.
"I remember when Japan used to be a lot more crowded," said UN Corporal Grace Dimore.
"Whole world used to be a lot more crowded," said UN Sergeant Naomi Jefferson. "Smoke?"
The Corporal rummaged in a pocket and pulled out her pack.
"That's one thing about Japan at least, no anti-smoking laws to speak of," said the Sergeant, taking one cigarette and passing the pack back.
"Just be sure you don't drop the butt somewhere," said the Corporal, thumb jerking towards one of the 'hidden' cameras stashed throughout the city. "The fines are nearly criminal in and of themselves."
"Yeah, I know. I..."
Corporal Dimore heard her immediate supervisor's voice trail off and glanced at her. On seeing her supervisor staring at something, she also looked in that direction.
"It's... a bird?" asked the Sergeant, sounding almost hopeful.
"It's a plane?" asked Corporal Dimore, sounding resigned.
Corporal Dimore glanced away from the Absolute Impossibility and over at Sergeant Jefferson. Sergeant Jefferson looked back.
The two sighed and just went ahead and said it in unison. "It's Superman..."
There was brief silence as the two watched the red cape flutter behind the flying youth until he ducked behind a tall building.
"Are you going to call it in?" asked the Corporal.
"Me?" asked the Sergeant.
"You're the ranking officer," pointed out the Corporal.
"Why not you?" asked the Sergeant.
"They'd just assume I'd gotten into the Scotch again," said the Corporal.
"But..."
The radio crackled briefly. "Uhm. Did anyone else see something that was a flagrant copyright violation?"
Corporal Dimore picked up the radio and spoke into it. "Post 34. Unidentified Flying Object?"
"Post 33. Hi, Corporal. No, the problem is that I could identify it," said the voice over the radio.
"Roger that," said Corporal Dimore.
"Uhm. That's not an Angel is it?" asked Post 33. "Because I tell you, if Godzilla shows up next, I'm going AWOL."
"Don't. Tempt. Fate." Corporal Dimore shuddered.
Another voice came over the radio. "Post 35. Uhm, guys. Did anyone else hear the rumors about that Ikari guy's son?"
Another, more authoritarian, voice sounded over the radio. "All posts, cease chatter. Either report or keep silence."
Dimore set the radio down and looked in the direction the caped guy had vanished behind a skyscraper. "What do you think, Sergeant?"
"As soon as we're relieved, I'm going to get so drunk I won't remember this day," said the Sergeant.
"Besides that," said Corporal Dimore.
"If this is a new anti-Angel weapon," said the Sergeant, "I'm gonna feel a lot better about our chances of winning. Also, that it's a good thing New York is under water. Otherwise DC would be levelling lawsuits on NERV so fast even a Superman couldn't keep up."
"What?! I'm missing six cans of Yebisu! I'm down to twelve! Someone's going to pay for this."
"Wark!" protested Pen-Pen.
Her name was Kensuke Aida and she was a military otaku.
"Damn it. I think they're still growing."
Her father seemed to retreat a bit further behind his newspaper somehow without moving at all. Unless you counted twitching.
"This is so screwed up," said Kensuke, adjusting her glasses. "And what's with the cramping?"
The newspaper twitched again.
"Bleah, I'm fourteen, I guess, it's just I didn't really expect this thing to happen." Kensuke glanced at the paper. "I'm gonna need a little money for some supplies."
Twitch again.
"Unless you want to come with me," said Kensuke.
The money appeared as close to instant as made no difference.
Kensuke pocketed the money and went to her room. Since she had been a he not too long ago, that she was just fumbling her way through things wasn't too unexpected.
An airvent creaked open and a young Rei Ayanami stuck her head out, looking around briefly before turning her head back towards the crawlspace. "Not the right apartment."
"Well," said Rei Ayanami's voice from within the ductwork. "Okay, let's try the left turn this time."
"Right," said young-Rei, meeting Kensuke's eyes and then holding one finger over her lips. She vanished within the air duct, the vent closing behind her, and there was the sound of someone moving around briefly.
"Oh hell," said Kensuke, facepalming. "Nobody told me you got hallucinations too!"
Rei watched as Ranma Ikari settled to the ground. "Can I learn that?"
"Uhm, yeah, eventually," said Ranma. "It's an advanced technique though."
"Then it is something to look forward to," indicated Rei softly.
"What's with the glasses anyway?" asked Ranma.
"Trying to change appearance and determine the optimal set required to fit roles designated by the chain of command," said Rei.
Ranma considered that, taking the words apart and trying to make sense of them. "So... it's a disguise?"
"Not quite," said Rei. "Optimizing appearance."
"Oh," said Ranma. Well, at least she's opening up some.
Rei considered this development in regards to her research. Ranma's general behavior pattern was not The Cape, as she had yet to hear of any code of behavior from him. Nor was he the Cowl, though he could sneak in and hit hard as Ramiel could well attest.
"You!" said Misato, coming out of the apartment and finding Rei talking to Ranma. With Ranma standing on the other side of the railing from Rei, and apparently standing on absolutely nothing at all. "Inside!"
"Huh? Why?" asked Ranma.
"Apparently Ritsu saw you flying. Produced her old ID to get into the Gilt Trip."
"Guilt Trip?" asked Rei softly.
"The Gilt Trip - it's a bar," said Misato. Shaking her head at having gotten off topic, she resumed fussing at Ranma. "She got drunk off one bottle of German beer, went crazy, started chasing Asuka around and yelling something about how they're not kaiju and not superheroes and that if Ultraman showed up at some point she's not responsible for her actions."
"Who is Ultraman?" asked Ranma.
"I'll tell you later," said Misato. "Inside before anyone else sees you doing stuff like that. We get enough complaints from the city as it is."
Israfel didn't actually think in a human manner. As a child of Adam's Egg, it was a being of power that was drawn to Adam. For it to experience human reality at all was literally unthinkable for it.
Nonetheless, it was experiencing something very human. Confusion.
The universe had been changed, shifted, altered. Like a single rock shifting and becoming an avalanche, the changes continued to shift and multiply.
It paused in the ocean depths, unrelenting purpose momentarily lost as one of those changes flicked across senses both more profound and more limited than those of a human.
Above it, unknowing of the leviathan lurking below it, a single fishing vessel drifted. Without knowing that the music blaring from the speakers had found an audience.
Israfel listened, feeling unfamiliar stirrings form within. Something that was not Purpose nor was it Instinct.
What it was, Israfel could not define.
"The Angel's progress has stopped at this location."
"Do we have any idea why?" asked Fuyutsuki, looking at his computer's monitor as the speakerphone went momentarily quiet.
"No sir, as far as we know there's nothing particularly noteworthy about that section of ocean," said Maya.
"Huh, there must be something though," said Fuyutsuki. As far as we know, the Angels typically have no higher functions but are supremely creatures of instinct. Except that now, with one surrendering and becoming Makie and another forming a spore/seed that became MiRa, they are developing as something other than simple unstoppable juggernauts. Why, and how, remain. "What about Doctor Akagi?"
"Safely retrieved from the police drunk tank, sir," said Maya. "She's sleeping it off."
"Good, I'll want to see her as soon as she's recovered," said Fuyutsuki. He regarded the ceiling briefly. "You know, I would have expected the children to be an embarassment to NERV in public if anyone was. Being children after all."
"Well, she is technically a child now," said Maya.
"True," agree Fuyutsuki. "That'll be all for now, Lieutenant."
The site Television Tropes Japan was something that had been revised several times since Second Impact. No, perhaps it would be better to say that it was in a state of constant revision.
Rei Ayanami did her research while cooling down from the latest set of exercises from martial arts practice.
She had already determined that Asuka was the Rival and the Tsundere. Ranma Ikari was the protaganist.
There were certain requirements for the genre Rei felt that she was in. Which was obviously a Mecha show where the main character was a martial arts hero with Unwanted Harem.
"You've got to be kidding me," said Asuka from behind her. "'Martial Arts And Crafts'?"
"Hmmm," said Ranma from next to Asuka, the two having gotten curious enough by this point to have Rei show them this website. "Martial Arts Tea Ceremony - been there, done that."
"You're kidding me," said Asuka.
"No kidding," said Ranma. "Though that monkey was just plain annoying."
"'Monkey'?" asked Asuka, twitching a little.
"'Martial Arts Cookery' - done that too, but I generally didn't do the higher end stuff. I just adapted what I already knew to the new tools," added Ranma, pointing down a little further on the webpage. "The 'Rhythmic Gymnastics' stuff was mainly tricks using camouflaged weapons. Yeah, and 'Bathhouse Fu' was pretty much the same thing. Using your martial arts skills with different tools and in the different setting. Once you're good enough in the Art - anything can be martial arts."
"'Anything'?" repeated Asuka, disbelief obvious in her tone.
"Yeah, pretty much," said Ranma.
"What about computers?" asked Asuka.
"Hacking, anti-virus, and firewalls take the place of physical manuevers, but the principles remain," offered Rei.
"Whoa," said Asuka, considering that for several moments. "So most of these styles could simply be specializations for highly skilled martial artist types?"
"I wouldn't call all of 'em that skilled," hedged Ranma.
Asuka nodded. Put THAT way, it made sense. And frankly, the way life had been lately - anything that made sense was to be appreciated. "So where's this 'soon dare' thing?"
Rei had a feeling this was going to get loud.
"So have you decided what outfit to get Asuka to wear for her lap around NERV HQ?"
Maya nodded with a smile that would have concerned Asuka greatly had she been present for it.
Ritsuko thought for a few moments. "Can I help?" No reason for all the suffering to fall on HER after all.
"Well, I suppose..." said Maya.
"I AM NOT!"
Ranma looked at the description, looked at Asuka, looked thoughtful, and didn't say a thing because he was busy going through all the women he knew and trying to figure them out with regard to this new information.
"I AM NOT TSUNDERE!" insisted Asuka. "I am perfectly aware of my feelings on any subject and capable of addressing them honestly!"
"Denial is the mark of a tsundere," whispered Rei.
"What is THAT supposed to mean?!" declared Asuka. "I-"
Asuka's cellphone began to ring.
"Yeah? This is she," said Asuka into the phone. "No, I was just telling them that I'm NOT tsundere no matter what this weird website... Eh? You're ready for my what? Oh."
Ranma reached past Rei and clicked a link, making a "hmmm" noise as he read the description.
"'Shinji 1/2'?" asked Rei, wondering if that was a clue to something about Ranma.
"Oh, just curious about something," said Ranma.
"Fine, tomorrow morning it is," said Asuka, not sounding too happy about whatever it was she was discussing.
"WHAT?!" asked Asuka, loudly enough that Ranma and Rei could hear from where they were waiting.
"This does not bode well," said Rei, remarking on the half of the conversation they could hear.
"Uh huh," agreed Ranma.
"Or it could just be expected behavior from a tsundere," noted Rei.
"Well, maybe I guess," agreed Ranma.
"NO! I CAN'T POSSIBLY WEAR THAT!"
"Does she require assistance?" asked Rei.
"Good idea, Rei. Go do it," said Ranma. Not that having Rei holding onto his arm was painful or anything. Just he kept looking for someone with a mallet or other blunt object of opportunity.
"I see," said Rei, taking out a notebook and jotting something down.
Ranma tried to peek at it, but wasn't sure what half the terms were. He was betting they were on that one website, and that it would result in more problems than he really wanted to contemplate if he DID understand them.
"Very well," said Rei finally. "I shall attempt to pursue this girl-bonding moment. Do you suppose I should massage her mammaries? That seems to happen in some of the reference materials."
Ranma stared at the girl who'd just suggested that in a flat monotone. "Ah. No. I don't think that'd be a good idea."
The room was in an undisclosed location. It was connected through a labyrinth of electronic connections to several similar rooms hidden across the world.
Around the table, holographic monoliths formed one after the other - with only numbers to indicate something of identity of those meeting. Because, at this level of conspiracy, paranoia was simply a part of their being for so long it was hardly noticeable to them.
"You have something to call this meeting, 06?" asked Keele Lorenz, one of the few who showed his face. The others might occasionally use one of their minions as their face, but when you'd survived as many assassins as he had - he was quite prepared to show his face just to spite such enemies.
"Yes. Quite troubling. Physics on the quantum level is showing a change. A small one, barely noticeable at even our technological level, but measurable and worldwide."
"How could that be?" asked 05. "Some Angel attack?"
"No. The first readings were made about the time that first attack on Tokyo-3 occurred," said 06. "Those involved simply flagged it as an anomaly. With my own connections, I was able to determine the scope of the shift."
"If it occurred at that time, perhaps it is related to the appearance of the Angels and the regularity of their appearance since that time," offered 07.
"Negative," said 06. "Oh, I thought the same thing. We get similar shifts when there is a strong enough AT field activated. This is different though, and it does not fluctuate when Angels DO appear."
"What does this mean then?" aksed Keele.
"I believe it is related to Third Impact," said 06.
"But Third Impact hasn't occured yet," noted 05.
"There was always a chance in the math that ripples from such an event could backtrack in time," said 06.
"So you're saying this means we won, and Instrumentality occurs as scheduled?" asked 07.
"Perhaps," admitted 06. "Though I'm wondering if perhaps it wasn't another outcome that did this."
Keele considered that for a moment, weighing the data now streaming across his monitors. "Stay vigilant. If this does indicate our success, best we do nothing to subvert that."
One after the other of the monoliths vanished, recognizing the dismissal in the tone. Soon it was down to Keele and 06.
"I know you've never favored the Instrumentality concept," stated Keele. "Is this all true?"
"I have signed on, and serve to the best of my ability," said 06. "That I think melding humanity together as a single entity is insane is beside the point. This continuing fluctuation on the quantum level is... concerning."
"Then get back to your research Doctor," said Keele. "Get me answers."
"AAGHHHHH! Let go of my boobs!"
"I slipped."
"This is something off that website isn't it?"
Ritsuko looked at Maya, saw she was doing the Gendo pose, and knew exactly what was coming.
"Exactly as planned."
"Pfeh, yeah right, like you could have planned this," said Asuka, hitting the button that cinched the suit up tight against her. "What exactly is this?"
"A replication of a costume from a Pre-Impact series called 'Sailor Moon' specifically the costume of Sailor Mars," said Maya.
"I can make this outfit look good, but running in it is another story," said Asuka.
"Well, what about this?" asked Maya, holding a different outfit out.
"Oh," said Rei as the uniform was taken off and tossed into a trashcan. "I liked that."
"Not your color," offered Maya.
"A plugsuit with armor?" asked Asuka, poking at one of the plates. "Kevlar?"
Maya nodded.
Asuka got a momentarily evil expression. "Vunderbar."
Fuyutsuki looked at the report, checked the design specs, and made a grunting noise. "At least she's doing this on her own time. Hmmm."
The way the plates were made to adjust to the user, and the integral plug connections within the cowl, and with the utility belt having its own power supply...
"How long was she planning this?" asked Fuyutsuki.
"Honestly?" asked Maya after Asuka had asked the same question. "Ever since I realized that the Entry Plug's life support could be compromised and battery power depleted. I also came up with some of the secondary systems over the past few months - but there was never any budget and everything got shot down in the approval process. I gave up after the first three tries."
"Well, honestly, it isn't bad," said Asuka after adjusting her hair. "Though the cape is kinda corny and feels thick."
"I was going to make it deployable as a parachute but ran into some problems with the materials," said Maya with a shrug.
"See, Wondergirl?" Asuka asked Rei. "I can make anything look good."
Exiting the locker room, Asuka was well aware of Ranma staring and if anything preened a little more at the attention. Not that it means anything, of course!
At which point, wearing the Batgirl costume, Asuka began stretching out prior to her run.