Switching Places/Eva!
by Greylle and Kender_Sci
DISCLAIMER: Original series belong to someone else.
Chapter 19: Tsundere
Asuka strode into the bay as if she owned it.
"WHAT are you wearing?!" asked one of the techs.
"A modified armored plugsuit," said Asuka. "Why, what does it look like?"
"The Batgirl costume from the 1960s TV series," answered the technician, eyes wide as she looked it over.
"Well, that too, but this modified suit has this utility belt with extra gadgets," said Asuka, pointing proudly at it. "There's an extra oxygen supply and mask. Grapnel and line for if the Eva loses power and I have to get out. Little medical kit with single dose over-the-counter meds sealed in airtight plastic, just in case..."
"Oh," said the technician, looking more interested now and less shocked. "Were those changes approved of?"
"Get this sort of thing through the various approval boards?" asked Asuka, giving the tech her #4 "Are You Stupid Or Something?" look.
"Right, the ones that are still arguing about progressive swords versus naginata style weapons versus just sticking with knives," said the technician with a nod. "Never mind."
Asuka had already moved forward and regarded the monitors. "So the Angel is finally here? Where?"
The tech wasn't sure if this was a rhetorical question or not. As the images on the monitors were all from beachside cameras and just showing water, she allowed that it might be serious. "Under the water. Sonar has it located, it was going quite quickly for something so massive - apparently expending considerable energy to attain those speeds."
"So naturally, the displacement of water and pressure waves made it even more obvious and easy to find," said Asuka, a slight frown appearing in place. "Any energy drop in the target?"
"Above my paygrade apparently, though that was my first question too," admitted the tech. "Hey, if it's winded from 'sprinting' - that'll make your job easier."
Asuka considered that before nodding. "Doesn't seem right, but this IS all about survival."
"Unit 01 and Unit 00 are standing by, Unit 02 will deploy," came a voice from the overhead speakers.
"All right!" declared Asuka with predatory smile. "Time to show what I can really do!"
"I thought the original plan was to deploy all three EVA since all three of them are working at the moment," said Misato, turning to the Commander.
"Due to information which has recently come to my attention," said Gendo. "We will have only Unit 02 engage at the beginning, holding the other two units until needed."
"What information?" asked Misato.
"Classified," said Gendo simply, turning his attention to the screen.
"All right you," said Asuka in Unit 02, beginning a running leap that ended with her axe coming down and chopping the Angel in half. "Clean and elegant. Like a fight should be."
At which point the Angel became two Angels.
"WHAT?!" demanded Asuka.
"Shouldn't we launch the remaining Eva now?" asked Misato.
"What happens if both of those halves split?" asked Ritsuko.
"What is that one Angel doing to Unit 02?" asked Hyoga.
"It looks like tag team wrestling," noted Shigeru.
"Launch Unit 01 and Unit 00," said Gendo, sounding reluctant. "Instruct him not to cut the Angel in half."
"Yeah, that might be bad," admitted Misato. "If each piece became another Angel, that might be a problem."
"There's only two cores," pointed out Ritsuko.
"Shouldn't you be in your plugsuit?" asked Misato innocently. Well, maybe not so innocently.
"She's right," chimed in Maya.
"But..." Ritsuko looked around for any support but everyone was even busier at their consoles.
"Whoa," said Maya suddenly as one of the kaiju did something unexpected. "The Human Metronome Attack. I've never seen it done before. Except in old American cartoons."
"Poor Asuka," said Misato.
"BLEARGHHHH!" interjected Asuka over the intercom.
"Did she just throw up in the entry plug? Now that's really going to be a pain to clean," said Maya.
"Unit 01 and Unit 00 have just arrived," noted Makoto. "Moving into position."
"Okay, you two," said Ranma in Unit 01. "Nobody likes a bully."
Asuka groaned in the currently prone Unit 02. "Don't interfere in my fight."
"Tsundere," said Rei.
Makoto blinked. "Did Rei just call Asuka a tsundere?"
"I heard it too," said one of the other techs present.
Several technicians thought about it.
"I don't see the relevance of Pilot Soryuu being a tsundere on the operation," pointed out Fuyutsuki.
"Well, no, it's more the novelty of REI making such an observation," said Makoto.
"And currently the two Angels are just facing off against the two remaining Evangelion," pointed out Shigeru. "It's like a samurai duel with everyone waiting for someone to move."
"Misato! This is the 'Angel Of The Dance' right?" asked Ranma over the radio.
"Uhm, yeah," confirmed Misato, checking. "Israfel is the name the Magi designated. Kaiju Wiki says the twin angels of Poetry, Music, and Dance."
"It's not a kaiju!" automatically protested Ritsuko, who then frowned. "There's a wiki?!"
"Well, I'm no good at poetry, that's more Kuno's thing, but Dance is movement synchronized to a beat," said Ranma. "We got loudspeakers in the area to do the alerts and evacuation stuff, right?"
"To see if music can soothe the savage beast?" asked Misato. "Well, if it keeps the damage from escalating..."
From various loudspeakers and public address systems in an area of Tokyo-3 came Beethoven's "Pastorale."
The two Angels/kaiju blinked, turned towards each other, and blinked again.
Finally, one of them raised a claw and the nearest loudspeaker exploded.
"Okay, we got a reaction - but maybe not Beethoven," said Shigeru.
"If we can get it to react to music," mused Fuyutsuki out loud, "it may be possible to lure it outside the city for the actual fight. Thereby sparing millions from our budget."
Gendo had been frowning more and more but suddenly relaxed as he considered the potential goodwill this might generate. Not to mention the better press when the inevitable conflict between NERV and SEELE occurred.
"Let's see," said Shigeru. "Dance? Maybe this..."
"That's not... are you serious?" asked Ritsuko Akagi.
The Angel(s) was/were not the only ones staring at the Jumbotron and speakers that were broadcasting. Ranma, Rei, and even Asuka (who'd recovered somewhat as the Angels were no longer playing Tag Team Beatdown on her) were all staring.
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk."
"I'm being saved by disco," muttered Asuka into her radio microphone. "What's next, am I going to be menaced by rabid kaiju gerbils?"
"Music loud and women warm.
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right, it's O.K.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand.
The New York Times' effect on man."
"Hey I know this one," said Ranma, beginning to dance.
"What?" asked Asuka, clearly not sure how to deal with the situation.
"One of them random challengers with a weird martial arts style," said Ranma, continuing to move in time with the music. "Capioera based but with Martial Arts Ballroom Dancing and knives hidden in the shoes - stuff like that."
"Ah, the 'Martial Arts and Crafts' trope," said Rei, her Eva crossing her arms in front of her and nodding.
The Angels seemed to get mad and responded by... moving in time to the music and copying Ranma.
Which lasted until Asuka lost her temper and lashed out with her legs, sweeping the two Angels off their feet. Oddly enough, it looked like a breakdancing move.
In perfect synch, Rei and Ranma drew progressive knives and jabbed them into the cores.
"See," said Asuka, a bit shakily. "Clean and elegant. Just like I said."
"What part of that was clean and elegant?" asked Fuyutsuki.
"Well, we got the kaiju..." began Misato.
"ANGEL!" insisted Ritsuko.
"... and that has to count for something, right?" continued Misato.
"How come one of them turned into LCL and the other just sort of crystallized?" asked Shigeru.
"More research projects," said Maya.
"What is it?" asked the one in back.
"I think, these are what they call 'toys'," said the one in front.
"We should investigate," said the third.
"Yes, we should," agreed the other two in perfect harmony, nodding once.
"What are these?" asked Ree-1 in a breathy voice, going over the collection of "action figures" from the "Negima" game that had come out recently.
"What is this?" asked Ree-2 curiously, poking with one index finger the large stuffed bear.
"What is this?" asked Ree-3, going to a battery-powered dog.
"Oooh," ooohed all three Ree as they tried to figure out the flashy game console currently doing a demo of Dance Dance Revolution VI.
"Ahhh," ahhed all three Ree as they observed another one with the logo "Grand Theft Auto XIII: Tokyo-3 Edition."
"Where's your parents?" asked the store manager on seeing three unattended girls in the stores. Triplets obviously, but there was some sort of Unearthly quality he couldn't quite put his finger on. It wasn't the weird hair color, they were quite close to Harajuku-3 and he'd seen far stranger. It wasn't the odd eye color or pale skin, as he had spent four years in a college where such things were certainly unremarkable. Possibly they were "ai no ko" - the child of a Japanese parent and someone from abroad. More common after Second Impact than had been previous.
"Daddy's not here," said Ree-1, which the store manager interpreted as meaning he was dead or had fled Tokyo-3.
"Mommy's pinned to a cross in a lake of LCL," said Ree-2, which the manager wasn't quite sure what to make of.
"Second Mother is working on a plan to save all mankind," said Ree-3.
"Ah," said the manager, interpreting that last as meaning that the 'second mother' worked for NERV and was probably called off unexpectedly on business. Terribly irresponsible to leave the kids behind, but he'd met a few absent-minded professorial types over the years and it was entirely too easy to see such a thing happening. "Do you know how to read?"
"Yes," said all three Ree.
"Here's the manual," said the manager, noting that there were no other customers at the moment. He made sure the game was locked on "Parental Filtering" and entered a quick password. Then he pointed to the manuals. It would be boring at that level, and so they'd move on to the dance game or something else soon. Which was really for the better.
At which point a customer entered the store and the manager became severely sidetracked.
Ree-1 blinked, went into the parental controls, bypassed the Parental Filtering, and began playing while the other two looked on.
Elsewhere in Tokyo-3, several people who had minor esper abilities laying latent within them experienced a pronounced feeling of doom.
"Ryoji Kaji. It's been years. How are you doing?"
"Oh. I'm sorry, have we met...?!" Ryoji Kaji could usually smooth over things quickly. He tended to act like a womanizing jerk, all the while his mind was working on taking things apart and analyzing. He was also somewhat scruffy and that caused many to underestimate him. He supposed that was because it gave him a certain lazy and careless air, and it was easy to overlook that he'd survived as a spy for years associating with VERY dangerous and paranoid people around.
To startle him took some doing.
The appearance of Yui Ikari, here in a back room where communications cables crisscrossed each other amongst dim inadequately maintained lighting? Yeah, that was enough to cause him to stop and re-evaluate a few things.
"A Toshiba TN-4750?" asked Yui, glancing at the device splicing two of the cables. "Old but serviceable. Surprised you wouldn't use a TN-4810."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," lied Kaji.
"I'm sure," said Yui. "Be careful, Kaji. The game is very dangerous, and the rewards not really worth it in the end."
"They seldom are," admitted Kaji. "Not that I know what you're talking about, or how you're even here. Aren't you dead?"
"Not quite, and the question is actually more complicated than you realize," countered Yui. "Now, if you don't mind, I've got two hundred and fifty seven things on my 'to do' list."
"Something like that myself," admitted Kaji.
"One thing though," said Yui, stopping as she was ready to exit the utility room. "The passcode is 'Also sprach Zarathustra' the 'Sunrise' portion."
"'Passcode'?" asked Kaji.
"You'll know it when you find it," said Yui. "Gendo always did have a fondness for the dramatic."
"I've seen his office," said Kaji drily. "I noticed."
Kyoko Mihara glanced to the side at her coworker, but kept her main attention directly upon her task.
Some had commented on her appearance in the past. She was unusually tall for a Japanese woman, her hair was more brownish than was strictly normal, she had a large bust, and she typically wore her hair in a ponytail. She stood out amongst the various workers in Technical Division #2 in more than one respect, even when wearing an orange safety suit that basically concealed everything below her neck.
"Beginning initial drill in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1."
Kyoko flicked the switch that started the appropriate process, keeping an eye on the monitor to make sure everything went smoothly. This was largely automatic though, so she could ponder something that had been bothering her.
Daihaku Sugimoto. One of the biggest geeks in the admittedly nerdish Technical Division #2. Who keeps trying to start up a conversation with me for some reason. What is going on with him?
"And... we're at proper depth. Take five people, we're collecting initial data and forwarding to Research Division. Probe insertion in ten minutes."
Green eyes flicked to the side. Here Daihaku came again, obviously nervous about something. I hope he actually gets whatever is bothering him out in the open. Does he know I grabbed the wrong lunch the other day? Does he know I've got a vintage tankubon collection of the Sailor Moon manga and used to cosplay as Sailor Jupiter when I was a lot younger? Does he know my doctoral thesis involved the practicality of Gundam's mobile suits versus the Armslaves seen in series like "Full Metal Panic"? Do I have spinach on my teeth or something?
Taking a glance at the large crystallized kaiju in the bay, Daihaku took a deep breath before speaking. "Mihara-san. Kyoko. I just wanted to ask if-"
CRACK! went the large crystalline statue of Israfel.
BOOM! went a large sphere as it slammed into the flooring way below the catwalks.
Alarms began blaring, lights began flashing.
Daihaku slumped in place, staring at the flooring for a moment before sighing and going back to his station.
Theia, also known as the Black Moon, had arrived four billion years previously and brought the Seed of Life to this world.
The White Moon had already been present. Both moons were not to be on a single planet, which set the conflict to begin with.
The children of the White Moon, Adam's progeny, had no minds or ability to build or create. They had Power and could evolve to new needs and abilities.
The children of the Black Moon lacked Power. They had minds, individuality, and the ability to manipulate their environment. They were able to overcome difficulties and obstacles in their way by creating ways around such, or ways of overcoming such through their minds.
Something had changed in the world. The values were no longer absolute.
In the depths of the ocean, it had experienced awe. It had experienced stirrings which should not have been. It was imperfect. The Song of the Brethren was different.
So it had prepared. Just in case.
Now it had spawned a smaller version of itself. One that was easier to hide. There was value in these Lillim. They could make things and take different paths.
Now it wanted a path of its own. To no longer be bound to the single path before oneself, that was the greatest strength of the Lillim.
The music that it had heard had spoken to it. That perhaps, just perhaps, it could find another path itself.
And now there WAS a path that it must find and it must take. After all, to find that path meant life must continue.
"There it is, get it!"
Israfel danced, leaping and twisting among the catwalks and scrambling up a cable. Tools of the Lillim, they served his needs now.
"We've got it now, those ventilation ducts are too small for it to fit through!"
An opening protected by a barricade. The barricade fell to its strength and the opening was small but manageable.
"How the hell did it fit through that?! It's maybe two feet across and one foot high!"
"Go around! It's gotta come out somewhere!"
"Uhm, shouldn't we ask if it wants to defect? I mean, look at how Makie turned out."
"We can't just... ok, maybe."
"Too late now, we better find the kaiju spawn..."
"What's wrong?"
"Did you hear some feminine voice in the distance scream something about 'angels'?"
"Nah, you're imagining things."
"Israfel has escaped?" said Gendo Ikari, his voice sounding completely unsurprised.
"Yes, it is currently in Harajuku-3," said Fuyutsuki, placing a few photos down.
"It has mutated into a somewhat female creature with purple hair?" asked Gendo.
"Uhm, no, that's one of the humans," said Fuyutsuki.
Gendo blinked. "Which one is Israfel?"
"That large shape in the background playing a guitar," said Fuyutsuki.
Gendo blinked for a moment, took off his glasses, then rubbed his eyes.
"Section Two operatives caught up with the mini-angel at 2100 hours last night," said Fuyutsuki. "After determining that the Angel is playing lead guitar in a power metal band, they decided to keep the subject under observation."
"I see," said Gendo, still rubbing his eyes. "Their conclusion is?"
"A quick learner, very skilled, and 'Animetal II' apparently has a record deal now," said Fuyutsuki. "A member of Section Two managed to contact the studio and negotiated a deal where NERV is now poised to get a substantial cut of revenue."
Gendo stopped rubbing his eyes for a moment. "One of our operatives negotiated a contract involving an Angel playing in a power metal band in Harajuku-3."
"Yes," said Fuyutsuki. "I'm debating whether to fire him or commend him for extreme cleverness. This does give us the opportunity for further observation of the Angel. We even have their concert dates."
Gendo put his glasses back on and stared at Fuyutsuki for a few moments. Fuyutsuki, used to such things, merely raised an eyebrow.
"Can we leak this to SEELE?" asked Gendo thoughtfully. "This might cause some of those old farts to have a heart attack and quietly pass away."
"I'll try to arrange that," said Fuyutsuki.
"Other than that," said Gendo finally. "This doesn't change our scenario."
"No, it doesn't," admitted Fuyutsuki. "From samples of blood and skin scrapings left behind, Israfel is no longer completely an Angel and has begun mutating to a human or at least near-human existence. Albeit it still looks very different."
"Perhaps the data obtained would actually be of benefit," said Gendo. "What's that?"
"A tape sample," said Fuyutsuki, hitting the 'Play' button and letting the music go.
"Israfel is 'tapping'?" asked Gendo.
"Quick learner," repeated Fuyutsuki.
Gendo frowned after the music shifted and became more recognizable. "A heavy metal cover of 'Silent Survivor'?"
"Strangely appro, isn't it?" asked Fuyutsuki.
"If needed, a sniper can take care of the Angel at this point," said Gendo. "Therefore, I see no reason to waste more resources than absolutely necessary on this."
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Repairs on the Evangelion units were minor and are expected to be complete at 0900 hours. Rei will be undergoing backup operations today, starting at 0930 and continuing on for the standard twenty-four hours. You have a video conference at 1000 local-time with SEELE. Should I hold off on leaking the information on Israfel until after the meeting?"
"Indeed," said Gendo. "The rest of my day I'll be unfortunately attending to various matters out of the office and will not be able to be reached. That would be a good time."
"Understood," said Fuyutsuki.
"So, can you teach me to fly?" asked Asuka.
MiRa made a plaintive bleep.
"I think you've got something wrong," said Asuka over her shoulder to Rei. In her opinion, that had not sounded like encouragement from the little floating Christmas-tree-ornament.
"What error have you observed?" asked Rei.
"Look, I'm not saying something silly like we're in some TV series or manga or something," said Asuka. "I'm just saying that if we WERE though, I think you've got the wrong kind of series!"
"Really?" asked Rei. "What kind of series?"
"We have giant robots defending Earth from a menace," said Asuka, holding up one finger. "We have a hotshot pilot, myself of course."
"Self-delusions are typical of the tsundere role," noted Rei quietly.
"What was that?" asked Asuka.
"Accumulating further data," said Rei. "You were saying?"
"Uhm, right," said Asuka, adding another finger. "You've got the Emotionless Girl, that's you. We have the Skilled Rival, that's Ranma."
"My hypothesis was that we find ourselves within a niche best explained as a 'giant robot' series with the recent subcategorizations of 'harem comedy' and 'martial arts' as of Ranma Ikari's arrival," said Rei.
"Hah! As if!" retorted Asuka. "Clearly you missed my third point!"
"That would be because you haven't made it yet," noted Rei.
"In any case, this would clearly be a shojo series - starring as it does a strong female lead," said Asuka.
"I had Misato typed as the 'Bottle Fairy' actually," said Rei.
"Well, she certainly drinks enough," noted Asuka. "Though I don't think she's into girls."
"An interesting theory," said Rei, making a note to research this aspect of Misato's past. Could she and Ritsuko Akagi have been more than friends? Were benefits involved? And if so, was it for the health care package?
"No, I meant myself as the strong female lead," said Asuka. "Isn't that right, Ranma? Ranma? Wait a minute. When did he disappear and where did this Ranma-plushy come from?"
"Kawarimi no jutsu," noted Rei. "More support for the 'Ranma is actually a ninja hero in a mecha show' theory."
"Wha? 'Ninja'?" asked Asuka. "Whatever. I'm going to my room. I think my 'weirdness tolerance level' has been exceeded."
Rei continued to type for a few minutes at her laptop, then a faint smile appeared on her face. "Exactly as planned."
"Dude, where's my car?"
"Would you believe three identical little girls came out of nowhere, jimmied the lock, hotwired it and drove it off?"
"It's Harajuku-3, man. Of course I'd believe something like that. I just hope they don't scratch it. I just finished getting an Itasha paint job on there."
"Yeah, I been wanting to talk to you about that. Ain't Itasha supposed to be cute anime babes and such? Stormtroopers? Darth Vader?"
"Don't forget the TIE fighters flying over the Death Star, man. It was bitchin'."
"Sir, we're getting intermittent AT Field generation within Tokyo-3. Magi have not been able to determine a pattern."
Fuyutsuki looked into the depths of his teacup, ignoring the bridge personnel for a moment as he contemplated the beverage. He wasn't sure how or why, but the automated dispensers had suddenly begun producing really high quality beverages instead of things which simply tasted "cheap" and he'd wanted to have his sublime little moment enjoying it.
"Sir?"
"We have surveillance cameras all over the city," said Fuyutsuki. "Coordinate footage from those with the readings of the AT Field generation. Find out what we're looking for first."
"Right!" said Makoto, turning to the task.
Fuyutsuki sat back in his chair, sipped at his tea, and smiled. Ah. Perfect.
Ryoji Kaji held up a small tape recorder and clicked a button. Music played, a tune familiar to anyone who'd seen the movie "2001: A Space Odyssey" and wasn't completely tone deaf.
The door slid open.
"Damn, he really does like the dramatic doesn't he?" whispered Kaji to himself as he slid into the revealed room.