Eventually, D got tired of Leon's whining. "Fine, let's go to the back of the shop," he sighed in resignation. Leon cooed happily, cuddling D even tighter--nearly cutting off the circulation in D's arm--and nuzzling his shiny black hair.
"I am going to regret this," muttered D to himself. "But hopefully you won't, Leon."
D and Leon went into the back of the shop, where they removed their clothes and, uh, took care of business. It was a major release for both of them. D was glad he had given in to Leon; the detective would forget it in the morning anyway, or so D figured.
D was wrong. Leon's first words upon awakening were, "What the fuck did you do to me last night, you crazy bastard?!"
"Why my dear Detective," said D. "I, um, I made you some tea." D tried to feign innocence and change the subject at the same time. He failed miserably, as evidenced by Leon's next words.
"You fucking raped me!" shouted Leon. "You motherfucking son of a bitch, you fucking raped me!"
D looked indignant. "I have never in my life done anything of that nature with either my mother or a dog! Furthermore, my dear, if memory serves, you were on top! Not only that, but you were begging me to let you--to let you--um…" D trailed off, but regained composure almost instantly. "So it looks like it was you who raped me! What do you have to say for yourself, Officer?"
Leon had never seen D this hurt and angry before. He looked like he wanted to kill Leon. Then, without warning, D's eyes filled to the brim with tears and he started crying. The tears trailed silently down his cheeks, flowing like a waterfall. "Leon…" D now resembled a frightened child. "All I have wanted for two years was to love you. Last night, you came in here drunk. I didn't mean to take advantage of you at first, but you--"
Leon's stomach muscles clenched. "I--I begged you, didn't I?" he asked, afraid of the answer.
"And I could no longer resist," said D, nodding. "Leon…I'm truly sorry for last night. I should have known that you would--" D stopped; he was crying again. Embarrassed, he tried to shoo Leon out of the shop. But Leon wouldn't budge.
"D, I--I'm sorry," he said. "I--I forgot about that part." He walked towards D, who turned on him angrily.
"Oh, of course you forgot about that part," D snarled. "Do you think I'm stupid? You've been looking to arrest me since before we even met! How convenient it would be for you to fake drunkenness to get me to sleep with you, and then go running to your Chief complaining that I raped you!" D sighed, putting his head in his hands miserably. "I thought you were better than that, Officer. I truly thought that you were different from the rest of your hell-be-damned species. And I foolishly allowed myself to fall in love with you, despite the protests of my pets. I assumed that you would be able to love me back…" D struggled with a sudden sharp pang in his chest. "But you obviously can't, so just leave!" he shouted. "Get out! Get out of my pet shop and never come back! GET OUT!!!!!"
But Leon wouldn't budge. Under normal circumstances, he'd ask D if he were on his period or something. But these were definitely not normal circumstances. "I--I love you," he said. "I--I do. I just--how would it look if a man like me were going out with…um… Th-the other guys at the station would never let me live it down."
D had calmed down a bit. He looked sadly up at Leon through bloodshot eyes. "Then you care more about what your colleagues think of you than you do about me," he said sullenly. "You are just like every other human."
It was Leon's turn to look hurt. "Hey, now," he said. "D…" Leon searched for something he could say that would make the Count feel better.
"No," said D. "You cannot console me with your empty lies. If this were a simple problem, to be mended with a mere apology, then I would be a fool to bring it up."
Leon sighed wearily. "Then you…don't want to fix this?" he asked.
"I didn't say that," said D. "I merely said not to lie to me."
"So in other words, you wouldn't believe me if I apologized, regardless of whether or not I was lying." Leon stomped out. Geez. Now who's on his period?
A WEEK LATER, WHEN THE CHIEF CAUGHT LEON MOPING AROUND ON THE JOB…
"What's your problem, Orcot? You break up with your boyfriend?" asked the Chief. Leon blinked in surprise.
"What are you talking about?" he demanded.
"Don't play stupid, Orcot," snapped the Chief. "Although with you, sometimes it's really hard to tell if you're playing or not. Did you and the Count get into a fight?"
"You…knew?" asked Leon. "You knew that we--"
"The whole station knew about you and D," said Jill. "There's been a running bet on when you two would come out, and also on when you would break up. Should I go to Jason and tell him he owes me five grand, or are you going to patch things up?"
LATER THAT DAY…
"Yes, you heard me!" shouted Leon into the receiver. "A wyvern, a baby wyvern! When can I pick it up?…9:00 tonight?…I'll be there." Leon slammed down the receiver. "Now to see if I have any fireproof clothing," he muttered to himself.
It took Leon till midnight to drive the wyvern to Chinatown. He took the box out of the car and looked for something to write on. "Oh crap," he said. "I didn't bring any paper with me. Oh well, I guess I'll just write it on this gigantic tulip leaf--oh fuck, and I forgot to bring a pen! What else can I write with? My own blood… Yes, that must be it…" Leon gasped in pain as he picked up a sharp stone and cut his arm. "Holy shit! That hurt like a rat bastard! 'To my beloved Count, much love from Leon. PS, I'm sorry. PPS, everyone already knew. PPPS, I'm even more sorry and I know I'm a pathetic wretch.' "
-change POV-
"Hey, Count, somebody left a box outside the shop, in the tulip bed!" shouted Tetsu when he woke up.
"Hmm…could this be the anki eggs I ordered last week?" asked D, moving fluidly towards the door. He stopped when he saw the bloodstained tulip leaf. "Writing…" he thought. He read the inscription, and his beautiful dissimilar eyes filled with tears of longing. "Leon, my Leon," he murmured, allowing the tears to flow in a most unkamilike manner. "How I miss you!"
*D? Is that… I wonder what's wrong?* came a youthful echo.
Was that--? No, it couldn't be. D was simply missing Leon and was clinging to anything that would remind him of his darling. But then the echo came again:
*Did he get in another fight with big bro? Are they even still friends?*
"Hello, Chris," said D without turning around. "Don't you have a game coming up?"
Over the past six years, adorable little seven-year-old Chris Orcot had become a strapping young varsity basketball player. No, not really; that's just the story he told his friends when he had to blow them off for a game.
Because Chris Orcot was actually the head of the cheerleading squad. Why the hell not? His sweet dimples, luxurious blond hair, and excellent spelling made him perfect for the part. Besides, he looked beyond cute in a flippy pleated miniskirt.
"Hi, Count!" Chris burbled, exuberant as ever. "Sometimes I forget that you can read my thoughts. So, did you and Leon--"
"Come inside for some tea," said D abruptly. "T-chan and Pon-chan will be happy to see you. I'll burn some incense so you can see them in their human forms."
"Thanks, Count! Oh yeah," said Chris, as though just remembering something. "Fungus-foot Fred was lurking outside the bakery, and he gave me these chocolate-fudge-coated moon cakes. I think he has a crush on me. Anyway, I want you to have them."
D looked taken aback. "Why…thank you, Chris. I'll go make some raspberry tea to go with these." Raspberry tea and moon cakes? Yugh. Well, to each his own, I suppose.
"Tea's ready," said D, just as Chris was sitting down.
"Wow. That was fast. How do you know when it's ready, anyway?"
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
"You got a microwave?" Chris was somewhat disappointed. He had always thought of Count D's Pet Shop as a haven from the outside world.
"Your brother gave it to me as a birthday present."
"It's your birthday?"
"Just over a week ago," said D, sadly. That was the Night of the Leon Shag, and D preferred not to think about it. "He also gave me some Minute Maid raspberry iced tea. It's…tacky, but when a loved one gives you a gift, you don't say so. Unless the gift is from Versace."
I know what you're thinking: Huh? How does D know about Versace? And why would Leon ever give him something from there? But Chris asked a question far more pressing than either of these:
"Where's your bathroom?"
Um. That wasn't it. But, after D directed Chris to the bathroom and Chris got back, he asked the important one.
"Do you love my brother?"
For the second time in as many minutes, D looked surprised. He hesitated, but Chris could read the answer in his eyes.
"Just a minute," said Chris, taking out a hot pink Motorola RazR. How very…flamboyant. (And yes, that's code for gay.)
"You have a cell phone?" And it's pink?
"Sam gave it to me for Christmas. Hello, Frannabel? You're gonna have to get a substitute cheerleader. I'm… um, I'm in Chinatown with--" With whom? My brother's boyfriend? A pet shop owner? Master of the High Teas? "I'm helping a friend of my big bro's deal with a recent loss. I'll call you. Bye." Then Chris dialed Leon. "Big bro? It's Chris. I'm with Count D… He's, um, well, I don't really know how he is. Do you want to talk to him?"
An anki is a floating squid-like creature that attaches itself to a skeptic, sucking all trust and hope from them. As it sucks up the trust, it grows, until it crushes its host. The only way to get rid of an anki is to make its host believe in what they first doubted. Hmm, could D have perhaps been plotting revenge on Leon for their little fight last week?