AN: If this tale isn't cohesive, it's because there were a bunch of annoying people on the bus, where I was writing this, and I could barely concentrate. If the characters seem somewhat out of character, it's because I haven't read the original Pet Shop of Horrors series in several years, and though I have the Pet Shop Tokyo series at home, it shows a different dynamic of the character of Count D, and obviously his relationship in that series is with Taizuu, rather than Leon. Since I prefer the pairing of Leon/D to D/Taizuu, I'm trying to rack my memories for the dynamic of that relationship. Also, any typos are due to overly fast typing and under-editing, since I'm using WordPad rather than Microsoft Word, since MS Word is installed on my Z drive, not my C drive, and the MS Word that came with the computer is a demo they want me to pay for. Fail. I had my alters help me with this one.

I do not personally believe that Leon Orcot is an insult to the male gender, but I'm trying to show that D, as a male, would feel competitive with Leon, another male, but that they're also starting to fall in love. I was going through many conflicting thought processes while writing this, so again, it might not make much sense.

I have no idea whether loganberries are in season in winter. I'll bet they aren't. But hey, it's Count D. If he wants loganberry pie on New Year's Eve, he gets it. Also, LOGANBERRIES!!!

Clearly, this story has no real cohesion with the others I've written/helped write and is just something I decided to throw together as my first fanfic of 2010. Happy new year, everybody!

Leon was passed out, drunk and snoring, in the famous Back Room of Count D's Pet Shop in Chinatown, Los Angeles. D wondered momentarily whether to wake him, then decided he'd rather have the detective all to himself for the day.

"It's Monday," bleated an annoyed Tetsu. "He should be at work." D smiled peacefully, a real smile much unlike the patronising one he used for human customers. He knelt gracefully and extracted Leon's wallet from his discarded jeans on the floor. When he found what he was looking for, he rose and glided to the phone. Reading from the card, he dialed the police chief's home number and let the groggy man know that Leon would not be coming to work today. He thought he heard a sigh of relief as he hung up the phone.

"Well then, that little matter has been taken care of," said the Count cheerfully. "Now it's time for tea."

As the Count busied himself making the tea, Leon stirred, then woke up. Naturally, he freaked out when he saw the time. "I've got to get to work!" he exclaimed.

"Relax, my dear Detective," responded D. "I have already notified the Chief that you will not be coming in. Would you like some tea?"

Leon groaned. "I've got a mother of a headache," he complained, taking the proffered cup of tea and drinking it all in one gulp.

"You shouldn't drink so much," advised D, his ethereal eyes soft. "I'm beginning to think you need to be drunk to enjoy... what we do together," he murmured delicately.

Leon hesitated. He didn't want to hurt the Count's feelings (What? Since when does he care?), but he didn't quite feel comfortable with the idea of what he and D did. The act itself, of course, was thoroughly enjoyable. He sighed. It wasn't like he had any luck with the ladies.

"How do you do it?" he asked. "Chicks love you. They don't give me a second glance, lately."

It was D's turn to sigh. There were so many explanations-- humans craved what was unattainable, women were fascinated by the mysterious, Leon was loud and brash and an insult to the male gender, girls were drawn to androgynous men-- that D didn't know where to start. And of course, there was the part of him that was dismayed that Leon didn't love him. He, the Count, had been the pursuer from the start, and had met with plentiful resistance. He wasn't surprised, but it did sadden him.

"Perhaps," he finally offered, "you are just looking for love in the wrong places."

Leon looked startled. "Love?" he asked, nonplussed.

"It's a figure of speech," sighed the Count, taking a large bite from his apple fritter, quite unlike his refined, ladylike eating habits.

Leon furrowed his brow in confusion. Something was definitely bothering D, but Leon couldn't figure out what it was. He shrugged and stuffed a piece of loganberry pie into his mouth.

D's gloomy mood didn't disappear even when his shop was uncommonly busy. With every "Happy New Year" that passed through a customer's lips, D grew more and more depressed, until Leon finally yelled at him to snap out of it.

"I beg your pardon?" asked D, affronted.

"You're bringing down the mood of your whole damn shop, and you're not helping my mood, either."

"My dear Detective, as difficult as this may be for you to believe, my existence does not revolve around cheering you up!" snapped D. He braced himself for Leon's inevitable retort, but instead, Leon just gaped at him. A minute passed. Neither of them saw the new customer come in.

"Leon?" asked D gently, fighting a blush. He wasn't used to using Leon's first name.

"I was just... thinking how beautiful you are, even when you're angry," mumbled Leon, averting his baby blues. He took D's hand and slowly, uncertainly, brought it to his lips. D barely had time to be surprised before a voice broke the mood.

"Umm... hi. I'm looking for Count D's Pet Shop?"

D sighed-- impatiently? Regretfully?-- then withdrew his hand and smiled charmingly at the young girl who'd interrupted them.

"I'm afraid we're closed for the rest of the day," said D, who did a very good job at playing apologetic. After she left, D turned back to Leon with a flirtatious smile playing across his thin lips.

"How would you like to see a movie?" he asked. "It's time I took you out on a real date. Is this how humans do it? Dinner and a movie?"

Leon smiled affectionately at D's old-fashioned idea. "That would be nice," he said, "but let's make it a six-pack and a rental."

D groaned inwardly. Leon, noticing the look on his face, amended, "I'll make it up to you later," with a wink, indicating his handcuffs.

And off they went to ring in the new year, each happy that he had found someone to be with when they would otherwise have been alone.