The Ruins of Our Lives Chapter 4

Randy's POV

It's been about two weeks now since dad's funeral.

Everyone has kind of started to change. Brad is acting like nothing even happened, Mark is just a shell of himself, and mom hasn't slept hardly at all since then. I think I'm the only one who isn't really going through a grieving process. I don't know if I need to talk to someone or what, but I just don't seem to be able to grieve. I have to just keep being the strong, levelheaded one in the family.

Now, I realize that they're just grieving, but they can't act like this forever. Grieving won't bring him back.

Everybody has been really testy too. I mean, the other day mom snapped at Heidi for bringing us some bread and lunchmeat. I can understand where mom is coming from though. Everyone always brings the bereaved food. Like anyone actually feels like eating after someone's died? Right now, I kid you not, we have four loaves of bread that people have brought us.

Anyways, I just told tell mom to put the bread away, then I apologized to Heidi. Heidi said it wasn't a problem, she understood that mom was under a lot of stress, but I knew if mom was in her normal train of thought, she'd have wanted me to apologize.

It just seems like everybody is always arguing over something now. I just wish that everything could go back to normal.

I wonder what life would be like now if dad hadn't gone to work that day.

Maybe I should go out and talk to Wilson. Maybe he has some kind of advice for us to get through this.

'Hi Wilson' I say

'Heidi ho teenage Taylor trickster' he greets as he watches me jump up on to the lawn chair so I can see him better.

'Something smells good Wilson. What is it?' I ask.

'I would offer you some, but it's a vat of paint remover' explains Wilson.

'I'll pass then' I say with a smile.

'I figured you would' he replies.

'So what can I do for you?' he asks.

'I just wanted to talk. I haven't really had anyone to talk to about my dad's death' I respond.

'Well I'm not sure if I'm the proper person to be talking to' Wilson states.

'You think I should see a therapist about this?' I ask questioningly.

'No, I mean maybe you should try talking to your family. Especially your mom, she seems to be taking this extremely hard. Not that I blame her' suggests Wilson.

'That's just it. I don't really know how to approach her about this. We both need to talk to someone, but I don't know if I can. I mean, she's always grouchy anymore, and I don't want to piss her off otherwise it'll just complicate our lives even more' I say all in one breath.

'You need to just give it some time. Their grieving process will take as long as it's supposed to.You know, I'm reminded of the words of Publius Syrus. He said "Patience is a remedy for every sorrow" Wilson quotes.

'True. I'm still not sure how to talk to her about this' I say.

'Just go up to her and say "mom, I would like to talk to you about something". If I know Jill as well as I think do, she'll be glad to talk' says Wilson.

'Okay. Thanks for the advice Wilson. By the way, what are you taking paint off of?' I ask.

'Oh. I'm painting my mountain lion's room a different color' he says matter-of-factly.

'You know they make primer you could use instead of taking the paint off, right?' I ask.

'Yes, but that's not near as fun. Besides, this way I don't have to primer my cauldron when I go to paint it' Wilson says with a twinkle in his eyes, and maybe a smile. (I can't tell whether or not he's smiling because I can't see his face).

So I walk inside and see mom sitting on the couch.

'Mom, could I talk to you about something?' I ask nervously, just waiting for her to start yelling.

'Sure' she says in a monotone voice.

But she still just sits there and watches the TV.

'Could I talk to you without the TV on?' I ask.

'Sure' she says in the same monotone voice.

She presses the power button on the remote.

'I'm sorry sweetie, what do you want to talk about?' she asks, sounding like a human being now.

'I was hoping we could maybe talk about dad' I say, biting my lip afterwards, regretting doing this for what I'm sure is not going to be the first time.

'Okay. What about him?' mom asks indifferently. This pisses me off. She could show a little emotion.

But I continue, not mentioning my feelings about her lack of emotions.

'I don't know necessarily about what. Um, you know, actually, maybe we could do this later?' I say.

'Okay. I'm here if you need to talk. Just let me know when' she says, turning the TV back on.

I thought I could talk to her, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Besides, I don't even know if there's anything I want or need to talk about.

I mean, I'd like to voice my opinion on the decision to quote/unquote "pull the plug". But what do I say? "Hey mom, I don't think we should've pulled the plug on dad's life". That wouldn't work, she'd just get even more upset.

I know Wilson said patience is the only remedy for sorrow, or whatever, but how much patience can one have?

It just seems like I'm the only one who's even attempting to move on from this.

A/N: It's a bit of a short chapter, but the next chapter will be longer.

Anyways, read and review please.

I also want to thank Leonard Roy Frank, the editor of a book called "Quotationary", which is the source for all of the quotes I use in all of my stories. That book is the only reason I am able to do any scenes with Wilson.

P.S. Next chapter is going to be very, very long. (I already have it written, and it's over 3,000 words).

-Yours truly, Randy Taylor