Yesterday, my editor told me off because when she tried to talk with me all I could do was laugh evilly.
Advent '08
December 21st – only 4 days left! Woot!
Kyoko lay in the hospital bed. From what Yashiro could see, she looked completely fine.
She looked like she would wake up any moment.
But with every minute that she stayed unconscious the less likely that was.
Yashiro slumped in his chair and rested his head in his hand as he rested his elbows on his knees.
This was the worst thing that could have happened. His plan had been going perfectly! And now it was all over. All that time, all those secrets, they were all for nothing and now he was sitting here, having been unable to sleep all night for worry.
Kyoko might never wake up and all he could think about was himself and how his planning had been ruined.
He hated himself at that minute.
"You just...can't help it, can you?"
Yashiro grimaced and leant back in his chair, slumping down. He sighed.
"Every single time. I have a plan and either you or Ren mess it up.
"I don't think you do it on purpose...or maybe you do? Maybe I'm being too obvious?"
He paused, like he was waiting for an answer before looking out of the window at the dawn, streaking the sky.
"It doesn't matter anyway. Both of you manage to spoil my plans every time. I don't know how you do it. Sometimes..." he chuckled and turned to face her, a smile dancing on his lips. "Sometimes I think that I should just forgo all the plans and shove you two together.
"Tie you up and tell every last one of your feelings to one another and let you hash it out where you can't run away anywhere.
"But I can't.
"Why can't you just admit everything to one another on your own? It would be so much easier and there wouldn't nearly be so much drama."
He rubbed his face with his hands and looked out of the window again.
"You could be so happy together. I just...don't understand."
He lapsed into silence, the only company was the constant –beep beep- of Kyoko's heart monitoring machine as it recorded that she hadn't slipped away from them all.
---/---
Ren had woken up early from a restless sleep. He ran his fingers through his hair as he watched the dawn through the gap in his curtains.
His dreams had been filled with Kyoko and her death. The dark circles under his eyes were rightly justified and even though he did get some sleep, right now he felt like he hadn't had any at all.
He checked his watch before getting up. The hospital wouldn't let any visitors before ten in the morning and Yashiro had been the only one to stay overnight to keep an eye on Kyoko, to make sure that she was comfortable.
He still had an hour before he could go in to see Kyoko. Sighing he got up and went in the shower, trying to keep himself busy so that he wouldn't think or make himself sick with worry.
---/---
As soon as the clock struck ten Ren was straight through the doors of the waiting room outside Kyoko's private room. He was about to barge through the door but he could hear quite murmuring on the other side.
It was too quiet to make out individual words but Ren was loath to just burst in on whoever was talking. He knew some people needed privacy when he heard it.
Waiting until there was a lull in the conversation, Ren knocked on the door and entered.
Yashiro was sitting alone, staring out of the window at the horizon. He looked exhausted. When Ren entered the room he glanced up at him and smiled tiredly.
"Is there any change?"
Yashiro shook his head and turned his gaze back to the sky.
"No. Everything is just the same. Nothing's changed, no matter how much I wanted it to."
Ren frowned, it seemed like Yashiro was talking about something else. He was about to ask why but Yashiro interrupted him by standing up.
"Well...I better get going. Get some sleep...if I can."
Ren nodded and when Yashiro moved sat down in the vacant chair.
"Goodbye Ren. I'll see you later."
The door clicked shut behind him and Ren was left alone with Kyoko. He reached out tentatively and took her hand.
"Good morning, Kyoko."
There was no response. Ren didn't really expect one but even so, his heart dropped a little. He smiled sadly and squeezed her hand.
"I...I don't know if you can hear me. If you even know I'm here. But...we're all worried about you. Please...wake up soon.
"You just have to. You can't leave us. I can't let you go...I won't let you go."
He took a deep breath to steady himself and checked around him, making sure that nobody had sneaked in during the last five minutes.
Seeing that the coast was clear he turned back to face Kyoko and gently brushed his fingertips across her cheek.
"I...I really care for you Kyoko...even...l-lo..."
He took another glance around himself. Even so he leant forward and lowered his voice.
"I love you..."
He held his breath but the only response to his confession was the constant –beep beep- of the machine that proved that she hadn't left him alone.
---/---
Around lunchtime Lory came to see how Kyoko was doing. He opened the door on Ren sitting with his eyes closed, the back of Kyoko's hand pressed to his lips.
He paused in the doorway, loath to break the tentative spell that had fallen over the best actor in his agency.
The spell was broken anyway when Ren looked up. Lory breathed sharply at the look of pain and despair in Ren's eyes. He slowly placed Kyoko's hand back on the bed but didn't let go.
"Ren-kun?"
"There hasn't been any change." His voice was dull. He sounded like he had already given up any hope that he may have had.
Lory bit his bottom lip nervously before he moved over and helped him up.
"Ren. Why don't you go and get yourself something to eat? I'll stay here with her. You look like you need something strong to drink."
Ren shook his head.
"No. No, I'm fine..."
"You're not fine. Look. I'll be here and I'll get a nurse to tell you if there's any change. Okay?"
He practically dragged Ren to a standing position and shoved him out the door.
"Get yourself some coffee Ren. If you want to stay tonight you have to look after yourself too."
Ren nodded, slightly dazed and slowly made his way down the corridor. One of the younger nurses did a double-take when she saw him and looked like she was going to go over to talk to him but she was held back by an older woman who whispered something in the irate girls ear.
The young nurse looked shocked for a moment and glanced between where Lory was standing in the doorway of Kyoko's room and Ren before a look of pity crossed her face and she went back to whatever she had been doing.
Lory sighed and closed the door before making his way over to the chair which Ren had just vacated.
He sat down with a sigh and pressed his fingers to his lips.
"I'm so sorry Kyoko-chan. This is all my fault."
He closed his eyes in pain and leant forward until he was bowed over her lifeless hand.
"If I hadn't have had a bet running on you and Ren then this never would have happened.
"I never thought that Harumi would do something like this though. To set this up? I misjudged her and for that I beg your apology."
He paused, allowing time for her answer, if she had been in any state to answer him in the first place.
Sighing, he continued.
"You have to wake up Kyoko. You can't leave Ren like this. He's devastated...and I'm not sure that he even knows it.
"Would you know it? You probably would...you'd probably know a way to cheer him up if he acted this way around you...but you can't do it like this. You have to wake up. It's the only way.
"Please, Kyoko. That boy has been through so much and I'm not sure if he can survive losing you as well as..." he sighed, "...but it doesn't matter now, does it?
"I hate myself for what she did to you Kyoko. What she reduced you to.
"I'm sorry that you got caught up in it all.
"Just...wake up Kyoko. Wake up."
But she didn't wake up. All that told Lory that she was still alive was the –beep beep- of the machine monitoring her heart. As long as he had that sound he knew that Ren would still cling on and he would still have absolution.
---/---
Kanae arrived late on in the afternoon. Both Lory and Ren were sitting with Kyoko and she stood nervously in the doorway waiting for some sort of signal that would allow her to enter.
Lory, seeing her, smiled softly and beckoned her to come over.
She did, but with nervous trepidation. Standing next to the bed, she twisted her fingers together and stared at the floor.
"I...I was wondering...if I could be alone with Ky-kyoko-chan for a few minutes? I just...I just want to ..."
She broke off as her voice choked up. Lory nodded and stood, patting her on the shoulder.
"Of course you can. Ren?"
Ren looked like he wanted to protest but one stern glance from Lory and he turned and walked out of the room. Lory followed and closed the door after them, leaving Kanae alone with her best friend.
Instead of sitting on the chair she sat on the bed and held Kyoko's hand.
"I'm sorry Kyoko-chan. This is all my fault. I should have been with you in that car...we should have shared a taxi together.
"Maybe if we hadn't stayed out so late? You wouldn't be here.
"I was the one who kept you out...dragged you around those shops."
She paused as she thought about it, a single tear rolling down her cheek at the thought of her best friend dying because of her.
"I'm so sorry Kyoko. You have to wake up ok? I couldn't live with myself if the last time that we talked was something that I hardly remember.
"Please?"
Kyoko didn't respond, her hand hung limply in Kanae's grip and another tear fell from Kanae's eye. She gripped her friend's hand close as she choked on a sob.
"Please, Kyoko? Please. I'm begging you! Please wake up!"
But her only response was that of a machine and Kanae broke down completely, sobbing for someone who could neither hear nor comfort her.
---/---
It was late at night when Kyoko received her next visitor.
Ren had just slipped out of the room to get himself a coffee.
Sho watched from where he was hiding around the corner and as soon as Ren was out of sight he hurried into the room, closing the door behind him.
"Kyoko..."
He made his way over to the head of her bed and trailed his fingertips across her forehead. Crouching down, he leant over her face and whispered to her.
"I don't have much time...Tsugura is going to be back any minute and I don't want him to catch me here.
"Who knows what he'd do?
"I just wanted to say that you should wake up, okay?
"You can't leave me like this. I forbid you from staying this way.
"You're mine Kyoko and I won't let you leave me. No matter what you say or do, I won't let you go like this. You hear?
"You boasted to me...you swore that you'd have you revenge...but I'm still waiting Kyoko.
"You haven't had it yet. Are you really that type of girl that would give up that easily?"
He smiled fondly down at her in the silence and pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead.
"Wake up, Kyoko. Wake up for me."
The machine beeped at him and he took that as his cue to get out of the room before Ren came back.
Just before he closed the door behind him he glanced back at the girl who had been with him since childhood.
The light from the hallway lit up her body as the rest of the room was swathed in darkness.
She looked like an angel and Sho smiled again.
"I'm waiting Kyoko. Come back to me."