A/N: A bit of a TW for a cutting scene (don't hurt me!), also my first try at a scene that I'm not gonna give away, so you may be scared by the awfulness of it.
When I went back to edit this chapter I actually tried to get rid of the parts that were Dean's POV. But I couldn't. Every time I tried it just came out... wrong. It was then that I looked at the title and remembered the reason that I had picked it. It represents both Dean AND Cas. Looks like my inner "writter" knew what it was doing after all.
I want to thank those who gave such encouraging comments the past couple of chapters. I really did hate them and was actually getting to the point of growing sick of this fic, but it's nice to know there are fans of it. So I really do appreciate it, honestly and truly! Loves, and hugs, and cuddles!
Chapter Twelve
All of Your Flaws and All of My Flaws
Dean and Cas stood in front of what used to be a black and white '78 Chevrolet Silverado. The rear bumper was rusted and looked as if one stiff breeze would have it falling off the decrepit vehicle. The truck's tailgate wasn't in any better condition. The makes name was barely legible from age and both tail lights were bashed in.
Along the sides were gouges and dents, the right side far worse than its counterpart. There were three flat tires, the fourth missing and had been replaced with a cinder block. A busted side view mirror finished up the abused sides. With Cas on the left, Dean on the right, Cas stuck his head through the hole that should have held a glass window. He let out a low whistle of shame at what he saw.
His attention was first drawn to the fact that the floor boards had rusted to the point of caving in; the second thing was that the black and white bench seats had been sliced open. Yellow aged foam spilled out from the cuts and a few rusted springs were jutting out among them. Pieces of foam stuck here and there. It reminded Castiel of an old sofa he'd seen at a dump, and then he had to hold back a snort when he remembered where he was.
He eyed the door opposite him, avoiding staring at Dean, feeling his stomach turn at the sight of bare metal. The door latch and window handle were missing all together, not that it mattered. Another sight that made his stomach turn was the fact that the truck had a manual transmission.
When he had first started learning how to drive, Anna had tried to teach him to drive a stick shift. The lessons came to a halt when he kept grinding the gears. He wondered if Dean would be willing to teach him, as he pushed away from the truck and went to take a peek at the front.
The similarity between it and a famous Disney tow truck had him laughing, no matter how hard he tried to fight it. Dean looked at him, eyebrow raised in question. Castiel just smirked and waved his hand dismissively. Dean sidled up beside him, his leather jacket brushing against Castiel's grey sweater as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, Dean leaning against him simultaneously.
"Please tell me you've changed your mind about picking her, and that you're laughing over how stupid you must feel." He dug his elbow into Cas' side, smirking when Castiel lowered his arm and tried to push Dean away.
"Knock it off, asshole." Castiel grumbled, getting his shoulder into Dean's bicep and shoving him away. "I'm dead serious about this. I mean, there's something about her… " Stepping away from Dean, he ran his fingers over the hood of the old truck, chips of paint flaking off. The tips of his fingers came back covered in rust.
Dean followed Castiel, as if magnetically drawn closer to him. His hand lightly grazed against Castiel's ass accidently, going unnoticed by the younger man. "I had a better car in mind for you, a nice little Mustang, used to be Cherry Red. Now, all she needs is a paint job, a little bit of this, a little bit of that." He looked down to meet blue eyes that were narrowed in a scowl. "What, you got something against Cherry Red? You can get her painted whatever damn color you want, Cas. Sheesh."
"It's not the fucking paint color, Dean, but honestly, Cherry Red and a Mustang? Do I look like the type of person that would be caught driving a fucking Mustang?!" Castiel paused until Dean shook his head sheepishly, a slight blush bringing out the freckles dusting his cheeks. He smiled and patted Dean on top of his head; it wouldn't have been a surprise if he had followed it with a "good boy."
"Thank you. So, if you're done with talking stupid, would you mind telling me what's wrong with her? And I don't mean the Mustang, you smart ass."
"I wasn't gonna say anything about the Mustang, Castiel!" Dean threw his arms up in exasperation, even though he secretly was going to, just to drive Castiel crazy.
"You were thinking about it, Dean, so don't pull that shit on me."
Dean rolled his eyes, silently mocking him as he leaned into the truck through the driver's side window, the inner and outer door handle broken off on this door as well. Grasping the horizontal latch, located between the steering wheel and the door, he yanked on it until he heard a pop come from the front of the truck. Making his way back to where Castiel stood, he reached underneath the hood, and pushed up on the latch housed there. Pushing up, the stiff hood creaking, he held it up so that Castiel could inspect the inside.
"I'm guessing 'missing engine' would be way too obvious, huh?" he deadpanned as Dean let the hood slam shut, flecks of rust drifting like snow to the dirt below.
"No shit there, Sherlock," Dean retorted, snarkily, which earned him a well-earned punch in the arm. "Nice to know that's one thing I don't have to teach you when we start working on this." Castiel punched him again and Dean finally laughed while sauntering to the garage, Castiel in tow.
When they were inside the rear bumper of the Silverado fell off with a clamoring crash.
The past few days after their agreement had been surprisingly pleasant between the two males. Castiel had figured that their lunch had been a fluke and that afterwards they wouldn't be able to stand one another, and that Dean would back out on his word after having to deal with Castiel's nagging. But the man stuck around.
Time permitted, Dean would drive up to the college to meet Cas. Sometimes they'd have lunch on campus if Cas had a class coming up, or sometimes Dean would pick him up and they'd head back to Cas' apartment. Kevin and Dean even got along swimmingly, putting their heads together and trying to figure out what type of car would be perfect for their friend. When Dean had started looking at him as a friend, well that was hard to pinpoint, but he couldn't imagine it any other way.
Halloween with a ten year old was interesting to say the least. The past couple of years Dean had been able to pressure Ben into dressing up as Batman, but what boy didn't want to be Batman? This year though, Ben had had his mind set on his costume nearly five months ahead of time. Dean had no chance this year.
After picking up Lisa from Shot, the family of three walked the sidewalk, heading business to business, pleading for candy. Dean asked about Castiel and Lisa confessed that he was off because of his classes. He silently nodded.
After hitting all the participating stores, some more than once, they got into Dean's black '67 Chevrolet Impala, and drove to visit friend's that were staying home giving out candy. At some point their trek brought them near Castiel's apartment complex, and Dean was eager to have Ben meet his new friend. He just hoped he wouldn't be pissed about them stopping by unannounced.
Lisa stood behind Dean and Ben as they banged on the door and rang the doorbell relentlessly. She sometimes felt like she had two children instead of one.
Mid-knock the door flew open to reveal a very irritated Castiel, holding a bowl of popcorn, and wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a faded Blue October long sleeved concert tee.
Castiel fought back to the urge to cuss Dean out, and possibly rip the doorbell out just for good measure, when he noticed the boy, well turtle, beside him.
"Adopting reptiles now, Winchester? Well, at least you picked a mutated, ninja, teenage turtle, and the best one, too. Michelangelo, right?" Castiel crouched down in front of Ben, cradling the bowl on his knees. A green plastic head with orange painted across the face, from the cheeks to the forehead, nodded. Castiel could only hope and imagine there was a smile under there.
"So that means that you," he pointed at Lisa while standing back up, "must be April. Now, who the heck are you supposed to be?" Castiel turned his attention back to Dean, humming in deep thought.
"I'm Vernon Fenwick!" Dean exclaimed, as if any idiot was supposed to know who the character was. Castiel only titled his head in confusion, trying to put together Dean's everyday clothing with the name he'd just spouted out. But before Dean could explain, Benny came up behind Cas, placing one hand on his shoulder, the other taking the popcorn bowl.
Dean focused solely on the hand that rested mere inches from Castiel's neck. It shouldn't have bothered him. He was married, happily married, with a kid, and a wife, both of whom were right there. He shouldn't care that his best friend was in the apartment of…
"I didn't know you and Cas were getting so close, Benny." Dean thanked God for Lisa's nosiness at that moment. Castiel turned and suddenly bolted back into the apartment leaving Benny to explain his reason for being there.
Dean excused himself and pushed past Benny, knocking on Castiel's bedroom door when he didn't see him in the living room. He took note of the fact that "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" had been playing on the television.
The sound of running water could be heard from the other side of the door, so Dean tried the doorknob, finding the door unlocked. Knocking once more, he eased the door open, calling out Cas' name as he stuck his head in the room.
Out of all the times Dean had been over, this was the first time he'd ever been in Cas' room, and he had to admit it fit the younger man. His eyes were drawn to the pictures of what he assumed to be were pictures of Cas and his mom. They varied from high school graduation to one that looked fairly recent.
"I suppose being rude must be a qualification for being a Winchester."
Dean spun around.
Castiel stood behind him with his hair and face still damp, his eyes looked red. Dean opened his mouth to ask about the outburst, but blurted out, "Yeah, my great-grandfather would always say it got started by my great-grandmother, but she always blamed his mom. It went on like that for years! The old mother-in-law rivalry, ya know? It never gets old."
"No, I wouldn't know, Dean. Now get the fuck out of my room, and kindly take Benny with you. I don't feel like having company at the moment."
Dean wanted to argue against him. He wanted to sit down and talk through whatever problems were going on with Castiel. But all he could do was lamely nod in self-defeat and leave the room, biting his lip when he heard the clicking of the doors lock. He turned and raised his hand up in an attempt to knock on the door, but decided against it and left the apartment. All he told Benny was that Castiel was making friends with the porcelain throne, and to probably call him in the morning. The ride home for the Winchester's was made in silence.
November brought cooler weather and Castiel still couldn't bring himself to face Dean. He spent more time at home in between classes and work; he even avoided Lisa which was a feat all in itself. Benny's calls went ignored and Kevin was told not to let him in. Dean never bothered contacting him, something which upset him more than it should. So when the day before Thanksgiving rolled around, it surprised him to find jade eyes peering at him from the other side of his front door, looking embarrassed and shy.
They watched each other, daring the other to speak first; Dean was the first to break. "I was wondering – well, Lisa and I were wondering – if you'd wanna come over for Thanksgiving. You could bring Kevin if you wanted, and Benny would be there too." He looked down at his feet, feeling like the size of an ant under Castiel's steel gaze.
"Ben really likes you, ya know. The few minutes he saw, well, you really made an impression. He really wants you to come." He sighed and looked back up, staring into Castiel's cobalt blue eyes, instinctively stepping closer. "I really want you to come."
Castiel blushed and faltered, holding on to the door. "No, Dean. I actually do have a family, and I plan on spending the holiday with them. Kevin is doing the same. Of course, if you were any kind of friend, you would have known that. So once again the answer is no.
"You can tell Lisa and Ben that I'm sorry, but maybe another time." He brought his hand down to the knob and stepped back, pushing the door closed with his eyes lowered, when it was met with some resistant.
"WAIT!" Castiel looked up to see a hand between the door and door jamb. He let go of the door and so that Dean could push it open.
"Invite them, okay? With the amount of food Lisa makes every year I think she expects the US Army to raid our house at any given moment. So please Cas, just come over. Even if it's only just for thirty minutes. That's all I'm asking," Dean pleaded.
"It's been three weeks, Dean, and you've made no effort to contact me. Why the fuck would I want to spend even one second with you." Castiel snapped. He wasn't going to give into Dean that easily, the man was gonna have to work to get back into his good graces.
Dean, however, wasn't on board with that plan and had had enough of playing Mister Nice Guy with Castiel. "Why the fuck should it have been on my shoulders when you're the one who kicked me out. You're the one who ran like away like a goddamn pussy all because Lisa asked a damn question, which by the way, you never answered.
"Are you and Benny getting closer? Should I have just expected you just to show up with him instead of driving all the way down here? Shit, how could I have been so stupid?! I knew he'd been too happy lately. You must really be a good fuck, Cas. But with an ass like that, I wouldn't have expected anything less."
Castiel couldn't slam the door faster or harder enough, the walls shaking from the force. His face was red from a mixture of embarrassment, anger, and disappointment, but he held it together.
On the way to his room he informed Kevin to not let Dean in, and that if he didn't leave in five minutes to call Lisa to come get her fucktard of a husband.
The confines of his room were his sanctuary, his bed the cage.
Wrapping his comforter around himself like a cocoon, Castiel let the barriers down and sobbed. He let the words that Dean had thrown at him hit him like the bullets they were.
How stupid could be have been to actually believe that someone like Dean Winchester would want to be friends with someone like him. Through his tears he eyed the drawer of his bedside table, and he gave into his weakness. It had been three years, but he hadn't hurt this bad since then. Pulling open the drawer, he reached in and drew out the razor blade that had lain dormant since it had been placed there.
He couldn't even remember why he'd bought it. Maybe he had known; deep in the back of his mind, that another moment would come that would call for it. He was an addict to the feel of the blade.
Pushing his sleeve up, he pressed the blade amongst the many scars already adorning his left arm, ready to add more.
And he did.
The tears stopped, but still he cut. Lost in the sensation, he forgot he hadn't locked his door. He never realized that Kevin had stopped to check on his friend and roommate. He never knew that Kevin was standing in the doorway, watching silently as Castiel hurt himself.
Closing the door, the only sound being the soft 'click' as the latch caught the plate, he ran to his phone and scrolled through the names. There were two people that came to mind: one would absolutely have a shit fit and break every law to get there, the other would be there just to be there.
Taking a deep breath, he made up his mind and pressed the name, crossing his fingers they would answer.
After getting the call from Kevin the night prior, Benny had decided it would be best to give Castiel some time to settle. So instead, Kevin invited him for Thanksgiving.
Anna and Mrs. Tran – Linda – welcomed their unexpected guest with open arms. Castiel was skeptical at first, but remained cordial, ignoring his mother's looks. He really didn't want to know what was going on in her over protective, mother bear, "shoot the balls off of any one who looks at my son" mind. Deciding to stick close to Benny, if only for the sake of protecting the man, they both stuck with their "we're just friends" story – it was the truth, after all.
However, the fact that they were now outside, sitting on the platform between the second and third floors, wasn't helping to back up their story on bit.
"Wanna talk about it?" Benny asked, his arm wrapped protectively around Castiel's shoulders, the younger man's head nestled in the crook of his arm. Castiel shook his head and moved in closer to Benny, if it were even possible, chasing the warmth the muscular man was providing.
"Not really," he murmured, closing his eyes and taking in the scent that he had begun to associate with Benny. It was similar to Dean's in that it held hints of the car garage, but beneath his old school aftershave was the smell of pine and autumn itself. It was one of the things that made Castiel want to curl up in Benny and stay there until he fell into a blissful sleep.
"Well I think there is, Cher, because I didn't just show up here to grace you with my charming presence." He rubbed his hand over Castiel's arm as he spoke with the hint of a smile. "Kevin called me last night. Said that Dean stopped by and that you two got into it. He also said that you slammed the door, said a few words to him, then went to your room. He didn't remember how much time passed, but he went to check up on you and your door was unlocked. When he opened the door…" He let his voice trail off and waited for Castiel's reaction.
It didn't take long.
Castiel looked up at him through his dark, thick lashes as Benny spoke, and when Benny looked down he saw something in Castiel's eyes that he'd never seen before – shame. Benny turned so he could hug Castiel to his chest, and the tears came. His body shook as he told Benny, through hiccups and sniffles, about the confrontation the night before. Castiel felt the hold on him tighten as his words trickled past his lips.
When he was done, exhausted and spent, Benny slid the sleeve of Castiel's sweater up. He brought up Castiel's left arm and peppered kisses over fresh cuts and faded scars.
They stayed like that, blocking out everything around them. That included the familiar rumble and screeching tires, which faded into the background.
"So what made you get into psychology?" Dean inquired as he took a giant bite out of his cheeseburger, some of it spreading out and getting on his hands. He sat it down and licked his hands free of the chili and condiments before using a napkin.
Castiel wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"Personal stuff. I actually started studying it a long time ago, but shit happened and now I'm back to try it again. This time I plan on succeeding though, because I don't plan on getting caught up in the same crap I did back then." He dipped his french fry in a mixture of mayo and ketchup and chomping down on it, smiling when Dean's face took on a green tinge.
"Does it have to do with the whole 'staying single' thing that Lisa was going on about? And how in the hell can you eat that?! That has got to be the grossest thing I've ever seen someone eat, and I've seen and eaten some weird shit." Dean shuttered, his stomach turning as Castiel continued to eat the odd mixture with elation.
"Asshole," he muttered. He wondered if he'd be able to even finish his burger now.
"You know what…" Castiel took a fry and heavily coated it in the mixture, then leaned over the table, grinning. "Just try this."
Dean opened his mouth to say no, but it only resulted in him having a fry shoved in his mouth. As he chewed, his expression slowly morphed from repulsion to ecstasy, and Castiel grinned as he stared into Dean's eyes smugly.
"And no, it's not a 'staying single' thing. It's a 'being in love thing.'"
Benny took Dean's place in helping Castiel with the truck.
Things went smoothly for the most part, though Castiel was usually tense around Lisa, which led to him making stupid mistakes at work. Lisa would blame it on his lack of sleep, to which he would deny the fact. It was obvious just from looking at his eyes that that was a lie.
He wished he could tell her the reason, but he would just snap at her and leave.
Benny and Kevin were the only ones that understood.
Night had already fallen when the last bus of the night dropped Castiel off at the garage. Benny wasn't expected to be there for another hour, but he needed some time alone to get his aggressions out, and the Silverado was looking like a good target right about now. Gathering the toolbox that had been hidden just for him, he went to the truck and got started.
The side view mirrors were first.
Taking out the hammer, not even bothering with the protective goggles, he picked it up and swung it, the flat head making contact with the already shattered glass. The larger chunks fell to the ground; smaller pieces flew forward, scattering in his sweater. He ignored them and swung again and again, until the only thing left was metal.
Moving to the other side he repeated the process, his hands and face now sparkling as if dusted with diamonds.
Lost in his thoughts, he jumped when a hand fell on his shoulder.
Spinning around, he came face to face with Dean. Seeing him here, and now, made Castiel think back to the last time they were here. Back when they were friends. He hated to admit that he missed Dean's company and that seeing him now…
He wanted to forgive him and forget about everything that happened. But it wasn't in his nature.
Stepping around Dean, he headed for the back of the truck, swinging the hammer leisurely at his side. Dean followed but remained a good distance behind, especially when red tinted plastic started flying.
When Castiel was done with the first tail light, Dean grabbed him by the arm and turned him around, searching his eyes as he spoke. "Could we please talk about that night? There are some things I need to say to you, and I'm pretty sure there's some things you need to scream at me."
Calmly and collectively, Castiel stared Dean in the eyes and said one simple word. "No."
"Do you enjoy saying that word to me?" Dean retorted sarcastically as Castiel's eyebrows narrowed into a glare.
"Then I'll say it a different way then. Non. Nein. Ni. Is that better?" He retorted back with just as much sarcasm as Dean gave. "Now let go of me, you goddamn asshole."
"Not until you listen to me!" Dean tightened his grip on Castiel's arm, pulling him closer. "All I want to do is fucking apology for that night, so just let me do that okay? Then you can get back to doing whatever the hell it is you're doing, and I'll leave you and Benny alone."
"You see that? It's comments like that one right there that pisses me off, Dean. You can apologize all you want to, but if you're gonna continue to assume that Benny and I are together, then there's no need to. So you might as well shove it up your ass."
"But I saw you two…" Dean slightly loosened his grip, his certainty suddenly slipping, becoming mixed with confusion.
Castiel raised an eyebrow in question. "Saw us what, Dean? Because I can promise you, right here, that we haven't done a damn thing, even though it isn't any of your business to begin with."
"I saw you two kissing alright! Well maybe not kissing, but Benny was kissing your arm, and you didn't exactly shove him down the stairs or anything." He confessed, guilty and slightly annoyed.
He knew he shouldn't have been spying that night, but he had stopped by Castiel's apartment to apologize, once again, when he saw the two men on the stairs. Whatever they were talking about wasn't important because he was focused on the way they were sitting together. He would never sit like that with a friend, and he certainly wouldn't kiss a friends arm like that either.
So he left and if he stopped by a bar and got plastered after that, well it was his goddamn business and no one else's.
Dean suddenly found himself shoved to the ground with a very pissed off Castiel on top of him, straddling his waist. Looking up at Castiel he couldn't help but feel aroused at how fucking beautiful he was at that moment. Unruly black hair that was blanketed by the stars above, framed his flushed, pale face. Narrowed sapphire eyes glowed underneath thick lashes.
Dean had to stop himself from leaning up and crashing his lips against Castiel's, curious of how stubble against very slight stubble would feel, but a sharp, searing pain helped him in his quest for self-restraint.
He was pretty sure he was interrupting Castiel's tirade, which he hadn't been listening to begin with, when he tried to wiggle out from under Castiel, but it only made the pain worse. Crying out he grabbed hold of Castiel's thigh and squeezed tightly to get the man's attention.
Castiel, having once again gotten caught up doing something, didn't notice Dean's predicament until he looked down to see Dean's face distorted in pain. Shifting a leg off of him so that he was on his knees beside Dean, Castiel leaned forward with his face inches from the man below him. "Hey, what happened?" he inquired, and as if by instinct, he caressed Dean's cheek in concern.
Dean closed his eyes and leaned into Castiel's touch. "Don't know. Shoulder fucking hurts though," he hissed.
Leaning over him, Castiel griped Dean's lower arm and waist, and then rolled him on to his side. The sound of Dean groaning accompanied the whole procedure. Peering over him Castiel felt his stomach turn and had to hold back his gag reflex. He didn't remember having dropped the hammer. He swore he still had it in his hand when they were talking, but then he had shoved Dean and the hammer was …
"We gonna have to amputate, Doc? You can tell me the bad news, I can handle it, I promise." Dean joked, but Castiel could hear the fear in his voice and it made him feel even guiltier, so he decided to roll with it.
"Diagnosis doesn't look too good, Mr. Winchester, but for your troubles you'll be blessed with a strip tease from Dr. Sexy here."
Holding onto Dean with one hand, Castiel used his teeth to hold onto the cuff of his sweater sleeve so he could pull his arm back toward his chest. Letting go of the sleeve and dropping his arm to the underside of his hem, he lifted the sweater over his head. Switching hands, he shook his arm causing the sweater to fall to the ground. Picking up the sweater and bundling it, he used it to push the hammer away, ignoring the blood on the claws, before placing it under Dean. Gently, he pushed him back so that his wound was pressed against the sweater.
Falling back on his ass, wiping the sweat from his brow, he's met with a wolf whistle. "Shut up, Dean."
"What? Can't I show my appreciation to Dr. Sexy since there's no Hello Nurse?" He smirked, eyes dancing over Castiel's chest. He may not have been sporting a six pack, but Dean could deal with the flat span of flesh that was beginning to sport goose bumps.
"Do you usually go around shirtless under those sweaters or was this a special occasion, Sexy? It's okay if I call you Sexy, right?"
Castiel kicked Dean's leg playfully before hugging his knees to his chest, remaining silent as he stared at Dean.
"What?"
"Would you stop staring at me like that and answer the damn question! It's really creeping me out, Cas. There, I won't call you Sexy, even if I think you are. Oh shit, I did not just say that! SEE, this is why you should talk, because I end up saying dumb shit." Dean probably would have rolled over if it wouldn't have killed him, so he settled for groaning and hiding behind one hand. At least until he heard Castiel laugh.
"You don't need me being quiet to say 'dumb shit'; you do that just fine on your own. Thanks for the compliment, by the way, though I don't believe you."
Dean lowered his hand to find Castiel still staring at him, but now with his cheek resting on his knees. The pose that Castiel sat in made him want to get up and hug the younger man, protect him from whatever the world had possibly thrown at him. He looked so fragile like that. "Well, if you're just gonna insult me, maybe you should just keep your cakehole shut."
Castiel smirked, "I was keeping quiet so you could talk, you assbutt. That's what you wanted to do wasn't it?"
"Oh."
"Yeah. Oh."
They stared at each. Dean tried to get the words to form sentences that made some sort of sense, which was becoming increasingly hard with Castiel's focus on him. Castiel just watched him as his expressions changed with each thought.
"I'm sorry." Castiel motioned for him to continue. "I don't know what else to say, I didn't expect you to actually talk to me, figured it would turn into another fight. Well it kinda did, but – Cas get your ass over here before you freeze to death." Dean stretched his good arm out toward Castiel, who was now shivering.
"It's only in the 50's Dean, I'm fine. Now keep talking."
"Not until you get your ass over here! It's not gonna kill you to lie down next to me. Sheesh."
Castiel gave in, much to Dean's dismay, and actually snuggled next to him. Dean wished he could get his jacket off or do anything to help keep Castiel warm, but for right now this would have to do. A muffled "okay, keep talking" came from Castiel, who had his face buried in Dean's side, and all Dean could was chuckle.
"Fine, fine, I'm talking, Bossy Butt. Let's see… I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, I didn't expect you to actually talk to me, figured it would turn into another fight. Even though it kinda did, at least it turned out for the better – sorta. Cas, I don't know why I act like I do when I get around you, but there's just something about you. You're so stubborn and a pain in the ass –"
"Geez thanks, Winchester," came a muffled, sarcastic retort.
"Shut up, Cas! You're just proving my point here. You really are a pain in the ass, but it's so fucking… I don't know. I like it. I guess that's it." He found himself unconsciously playing with the loose strands of Castiel's hair that lay at the nape of his neck. Looking to the side he found a pair of blue eyes looking at his curiously.
"You sure have a way with words dontcha?" he whispered as his eyes searched Dean's. He made no move to stop Dean's fidgeting, but actually seemed to be put at ease by it.
"Shut up, Cas." He leaned over slightly, hissing in pain as he did. Castiel tried to stop him, but Dean shook his head and smiled. "There's something else I need to tell you, and I think you really need to hear it." Stilling his fingers, he cupped the back of Castiel's neck and lightly pushed his head closer. "I'm gonna kiss you now."
"There are two very important problems with that, mister," Castiel whispered, his lips now ghosting Dean's, eyes half lidded. "And you sound pretty sure of yourself. Who says I'm gonna let you kiss me?"
Dean groaned and clutched his fingers in Castiel's hair. "The only problem I can think of is you saying no, and I really can't see you doing that. But if you do say no, I won't kiss you Cas. I promise. No matter how hard it is right now, no matter how much its killing me right now, I won't do it."
"No."
Dean felt his heart plummet, but he let his hand drop from the back of Castiel's neck and rolled back, but he didn't make it far. A hand shot out and grabbed his jacket, jerking him forward. "I won't say no."
That was all that needed to be said.
Castiel took control, his lips crushing against Dean's. He'd always been the submissive one in all his relationships, but Dean seemed to always relent and hand the reins over to him. It was new to him, and as the kiss that had started off intense became lazy, Dean's lips opened and just like that, power changed hands.
He opened his mouth at the feel of Dean's tongue brushing across his lips, melting in the arm that was now wrapped around his waist, as Dean's tongue swept the inside of his mouth. Releasing his hold on the mechanic's jacket, he slid his hand up the man's chest and rubbed his neck, before cupping his jaw. Sweeping his thumb of Dean's stubble, he whimpered when Dean drew back gasping for air.
Smiling and placing a loving kiss on Castiel's nose, Dean escaped his hold as he fell back on the ground with a groan. "Sorry, but unless you're into that whole 'getting freaky with dead people' thing, I kinda need to breath."
Rolling his eyes, Castiel ignored the comment and leaned over him, trying to get a view of the wound. He knew they'd have to get out of here soon and get Dean to a doctor, he didn't want to risk infection and he was starting to feel the temperature drop considerably.
Just then he heard a door open and slam shut. Looking up he saw Benny standing there.
The ride to the hospital was quiet.
Benny didn't ask any questions about Castiel's state of undress, Dean's wound, or why they both looked slightly debauched. Castiel stared out the window of the truck, his time at the garage playing through his head until Benny tapped him on the shoulder, letting him know he was home.
Dean tried to talk to him as he got out, but Castiel ignored him and rushed inside. He made a beeline for his room and turned his phone off. After a warm shower he laid in bed until he eventually passed out. He didn't know how he was going to face Lisa the next day.
"Not gonna talk about it are ya?" Benny looked at Dean's reflection in the rear view mirror, his best friend glaring at this cellphone.
"There's nothing to talk about. Just a rough night is all." Tossing his phone to the floorboard he muttered, "son of a bitch."
Castiel absentmindedly pushed up the sleeves of his sweater. It was the first time that Dean had ever seen his bare arms.
Trying not to stare he looked the right one over first, not really seeing anything spectacular or hideous about it. That was when he saw his left arm. "What's wrong with love?" He looked away when Castiel pulled his sleeves down.
"Nothing, I suppose. I mean, I know lots of happily married people, but in the words of KoЯn, 'I'm never gonna love again, If I'm gonna have to try to pretend.'"
"Sooo I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you had a bad relationship right?" Dean leaned forward and stole a fry, dipping it in Castiel's ketchup and mayo.
He swatted Dean away and shook his head, laughing at Dean's scowl. "Yeah, okay, 'bad relationship,' we'll go with that. Now c'mon I gotta go or I'll be late for class!" And before Dean could make a grab for the fries, Castiel threw them away.
Edited November 10, 2014