It had been exactly twelve days since the Obon festival, and exactly five days since Makoto returned to Tokyo.

That was one million, thirty-six thousand, eight hundred seconds Haru spent thinking, dreaming and wishing for Makoto to text him. One million, thirty-six thousand, eight hundred seconds spent move through his life stagnantly, never venturing from a different routine.

It was one million, thirty-six thousand, eight hundred seconds of Haru waking up, going to work, going home, eating, and sleeping without break in the routine. His dishes began to pile up, and he did minimal laundry for his work uniform.

Every second he wasn't spending working or eating, he lay on his bed clutching his phone, waiting for a text, a call, something, anything from Makoto. But there was nothing.

Just silence.

Haru had spent the first week of his twelve days in Purgatory regretting never texting, regretting always looking at his phone, only to shut it again, regretting thinking he would be able to keep what he always had.

The next five days he spent just holding his phone, wearing Makoto's shirt, waiting, wishing, praying and dreaming for something. But there was nothing.

Haru idly acknowledged his friends and their presence, as he continued to lie in bed, completely blank of feeling.

"Haru-chan! You have to get up," Nagisa pleaded, pulling on his sleeve, Makoto's sleeve, urging him to get up.

"Haruka-senpai, you'll make yourself sick if you continue like this," Rei implored him, eyeing the room as it had gradually gotten messier. "Please get up, we'll help you clean."

"Look, Haru, I know it hurts, but you have to get up," Rin snapped. "You can't go on like this. It's unhealthy."

Haru made no effort to move, continuing to stare at his phone. He barely felt Nagisa tugging on him. It was as if he was numb, feeling nothing. If Haru didn't routinely force himself to eat, he probably wouldn't have eaten, he thought passively.

"He's forgotten me," he muttered. Nagisa's eyes were welled up with tears, and Rei looked defeated.

Rin clicked his tongue, clearly annoyed. "Let's go. Leave him," he said, turning the other two by the arms.

"But-," Nagisa began to protest.

"Rin-san," Rei said slowly.

"No, let's go. He doesn't want our help," Rin muttered to them, pulling the out the door.

Haru realized that Rin returned a little while later, after having escorted Rei and Nagisa to the train station. His hair was in a ponytail, and he looked a little disheveled.

"Haru," he started, crouching down in front of the bed. Haru made no move to look at him. "I cleaned downstairs. Everything in the sink and your laundry. Get up."

When Haru didn't move, didn't even flinch, Rin sighed. "Get up and get dressed. You're body will turn into jelly if you continue to lie around like this."

"Haru," Rin spat out, getting annoyed at Haru's comatose-like state. "Get up. You can't keep doing this, it's getting ridiculous." Rin reached for the phone in Haru's hand.

"Don't touch it!" he yelled, snatching his phone away from him.

"What are you even doing, Haru?!" Rin replied back, just as loud. "Why do you just lie here, holding your phone?! What are you waiting for?!"

"He hasn't texted me, Rin," Haru began, tears welling up at his eyes, the first sign of emotion in nearly two weeks. "He used to text me everyday, and now he hasn't sent anything."

"Oh my God, Haru, you've got to be kidding me," Rin bit out, clearly exasperated at him. "Why do you think he hasn't texted you back? Are you insane?!"

Haru held his phone tighter to him, which only served to make Rin angrier. "Makoto spent every day, for seven months, seven months, Haru, texting you about everything and nothing, and what did you do, what? Did you send him a single fucking reply?" he raised his voice, suddenly unable to contain the well of anger that had been building up.

"Don't start yelling at me, Rin," Haru threatened.

"I will very well start fucking yelling, Haru!" Rin shouted, offended at what Haru said. "What makes you think I'm just going to stand here and baby you when all we've done, as your friends, is try to help you get through this? But you keep pushing us away like you were pushing away Makoto!"

"I would never push Makoto away!" Haru shouted, sitting up to glare at him.

"Yes, you did, Haru," Rin bristled, hissing through clenched teeth. "You did when you wanted to ignore him the week before he left for Tokyo. You did when you never texted him. You did when you ran away from him when he turned down your confession in the nicest fucking way he could. You did when you didn't try to apologize for your stupid behaviour for the last week of his summer here."

"He never said that he-," Haru started.

"Never said what? That he had a girlfriend?" Rin scoffed. "Makoto has been texting us about everything that's been happening to him when he isn't obligated to and you're mad that he wanted to introduce us to his girlfriend in person rather than tell us over a text message?"

Haru said nothing. He didn't look up at Rin, just stared down in his lap at his hands that still cradled his phone. The room was charged with a hostile atmosphere that was coming from Rin, who was trying to calm down from his outburst.

"What makes you think you deserve Makoto?" Rin said quietly, as if it was a threat. Haru felt his shoulders twitch at the words. "What makes you think that anything you've done up to now means that you deserve to be with him? Haru, he's moved on, grown up, experienced new things. He's made a life for himself. What have you done?"

"I've been there for him," Haru said quietly, hurt by Rin's words.

"Yeah, but not as much as he's been there for you," Rin put his hand on his hip and stared down at Haru. "You've done a lot for him, fine. But he's done just as much, if not more. You can't expect him to continue doting on you the way he has. Not when you can't even return something simple like a text message."

"How am I supposed to now?" Haru yelled. "How am I supposed to now when I ruined everything?"

Rin looked at him, appearing unaffected by Haru's outburst. "I don't know, Haru. That's something for you to figure out," he turned to the bedroom door. "Talk to me when you have your head on straight," he yelled, slamming the door behind him.

Haru stared after Rin after he slammed the door, before flopping back onto his bed, covering his eyes with his hand.

Rin's words hurt, and Haru knew it was only because they were true. How could he ask Makoto to love him, when he'd done nothing but wallow in self pity and negative emotion.

He had to get up. So Haru stood up. He had to clean up. So Haru washed up in the washroom, taking off Makoto's shirt and putting it away. He couldn't bare to look at it now, not right now, not when looking at it made him ache deeply in his chest, not when looking at it made him feeling like he was going to shatter.

He went downstairs and saw that Rin really had cleaned up, and it made Haru tear up. He realized that he'd done nothing for Rin almost as much as he'd done nothing for Makoto. He began to think that them breaking up had something to do with how Haru was preoccupied with himself and his emotions, and Haru promised himself he would eventually apologize.

He had to get back up.

He had to get back up if he wanted to face Makoto again.