It occurred belatedly to Haru that he was probably staring at Makoto.

It occurred double belatedly to Haru that Makoto was probably saying something to him as he watched his mouth move.

"Sorry, what?" he swallowed when Makoto's lips stopped moving. Great. It had barely even been five minutes since they'd seen each other in five years, and Haru was already a mess.

"I said, how have you been, Haru?" Makoto said again, gentler, slower, as he turned to face him, taking off his fireman's hat to wipe his brow.

"I've been..." lonely, desolate, missing you, was what Haru really wanted to say. "... alright," was what he actually said.

Makoto scratched the back of his head, and Haru suddenly became aware of the painfully awkward atmosphere between them. "How..." Haru started, and the words caught in his throat when Makoto glanced up at him through is eyelashes. Had they always been that long and dark? Haru swallowed. "How have you been?"

Makoto laughed nervously as he sat on the step on the side of the fire truck. "I've been... well," he managed to say as he looked down at the ground.

Haru began to wonder why this was suddenly so difficult. He could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stared down at Makoto, who was leaning his hands on his knees. I missed you, he thought, wishing Makoto would hear the thoughts screaming through his mind, willing him to hear what he felt, what he was still too afraid to say. I missed you so much, Makoto. I thought of you everyday. Have you thought of me?

"You work as a chef now?" Makoto asked as he stood up, looking at the building as Nitori continued to lecture the two apprentices at fault as they kneeled in front of him.

"Yeah," he said quietly, watching Makoto's profile as he stared mildly at the scene. Makoto's jaw line was more defined, structured, the line of his nose and eyebrows more prominent, sharp. Haru wanted to trace his hand over the lines of Makoto's face, so he could recreate it in his sketch books, so he could draw the changes in the face he thought he knew so well, thought he had memorized so well.

It hurt to know that Makoto continued to change over the years without him there.

"I'm glad for you, Haru," Makoto turned to smile at him, and Haru found that even his smile was a little different. More mature, more faded with adulthood. It was still kind and gentle and soothing, but it was so different from the smile he remembered, the smile he dreamed about, that it was almost difficult to keep looking.

"You're a fire fighter," he stated, knowing that it would be a redundant question. Makoto scratched the back of his head, humming his acknowledgement.

"Only during the summer," he said after a while. "I'm currently working as an assistant teacher at a middle school a few train stops over."

"You teach?" Haru looked up at him, wondering what a more mature Makoto would looking teaching, nurturing children who were moving on to their futures.

"Japanese Literature," he said. The other two firefighters began to head towards the truck, and Makoto turned to Haru. "It was nice seeing you."

Haru wanted to ask him to stay, not to leave, so they could continue to catch up, so they could continue to work through the years of silence between them. He just nodded at Makoto, before he watched Makoto get into the truck and drive away.

"You saw Mako-chan?!" Nagisa screeched at Haru as he moved to put down food on the table. They were eating dinner at his house today, one of the traditions they'd kept to try to keep up with each other's lives. Rin and Rei looked up at him, and he tried to compose himself.

"Yeah," was all he said, and Nagisa grabbed on to his wrist, nearly making him drop the rest of the food he was still holding.

"Why? What happened? Did you ask him anything? Is Mako-chan doing well?" he cried.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei reprimanded. "Haruka-san is going to drop the food if you keep doing that." Nagisa let go, but still puffed his cheeks up, expectant of an answer.

"A fire caught in the kitchen at work today," he said simply, sitting down between Rin and Rei.

"Makoto-san's a fire fighter?" Rei asked as they thanked Haru for the food before they began.

"During the summers only," he said through a mouthful of food. Rin arched an eyebrow at him.

"So what does he do the rest of the year?" Rin asked.

"Teaches," Haru replied. Rin hummed his amazement.

"All these years and you'd think he'd tell us," Rin muttered. Haru felt his expression drop despite himself, and Rin flustered out an apology. Silence hovered over the table, the group having an unspoken knowledge of why Makoto suddenly stopped contacting.

"Sorry," Haru murmured, nibbling on a piece of chicken.

"No, no. I shouldn't have brought it up," Rin sighed as he grabbed some vegetables. "But you managed to talk to him, so that's a start. Did you ask if he changed his number?"

Haru blinked at Rin's question. "Err," Haru breathed out, and Rin clicked his tongue, muttering a little under his breath.

"I'll text him!" Nagisa yelled, spraying a bit of rice over Rei, who shrieked about closing his mouth, while he fished around his bag for his phone.

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei cried as he flicked off the bits of rice that covered his shirt.

"You sure that's a good idea, Nagisa?" Rin asked, although it looked like he was hoping it would work.

"I don't know, but it's worth a shot, right?" he said, before reciting the text as he pressed the buttons. "'Heard from Haru-chan that you were back in Iwatobi! We should get together again and hang out with everyone!' There, send!"

Haru held his breath as Nagisa put the phone down on the table. The group stared at it intently. Nagisa shrieked when the screen lit up, indicating a message, and everyone else clattered at the table, surprised and excited.

"He answered! He answered!" Rin cried as Nagisa grabbed his phone.

"Read it, Nagisa-kun!" Rei yelled as he held onto Nagisa's shoulders, reading the message over his head.

"'Yes, I am. It's nice to hear from you. We can hang out next week if you like, I'm off duty.' This is great! We get to see him!" Nagisa cried as he clung to the front of Rei's shirt. Rei smiled down at him.

"I'm going to punch him in the stomach when we see him," Rin muttered, if not without affection. "He's got a lot to catch us up on."

Haru felt himself slowly breath again as the group fell into an excited babble. He felt his hands grow sweaty, suddenly nervous at the prospect of seeing Makoto again.

"So," Rin said as he helped Haru clean up. "Did you ask him about his girlfriend?"

Haru paused in scrubbing the dishes. "No," he said truthfully. It had slipped his mind when he'd seen him last.

Rin put down the dish he was wiping dry and leaned against the counter. "Are you going to ask him next week?"

Haru fidgeted a little, scraping at a piece of stuck on food that wasn't actually there. "I... I don't know how," he admitted. How did that even come up in a conversation? By the way, the girl you're in love with, are you still together? Because I'd like to get with you and jump your bones, Haru almost laughed at himself.

Rin scratched his chin, before chuckling to himself, probably guessing where Haru's line of thought had gone. "It won't be that hard, Nagisa's good at uninhibited interrogation," he said.

Haru continued to wash the dishes in silence with Rin, thinking about next week. Rin coughed and caught Haru's attention. "Haru," he began, and Haru arched an eyebrow at him. "You've got to tell him how you feel, even if he's still with his girlfriend, okay? You'll regret not telling him at all."

"I know," Haru felt dejected. He had been regretting it all the years before, after all.

"I'm serious," Rin continued, and Haru looked up at him. "I never actually admitted this, but before I confessed to you, I had gone to Makoto to ask if he thought you liked me." Haru blinked and looked at Rin carefully, a little stunned at the admission. "He isn't as good of a mind reader as you think he is, so you need to be direct with him when it comes to your feelings."

"Okay," Haru replied, and Rin looked satisfied.

"So, now that's out of the way," Rin said and Haru could practically feel the confusion spread across his face. "How's he look?"

"Huh?" was all Haru managed.

"Is Makoto good looking?" Rin asked with a raised eyebrow and Haru practically blanched. "Oh, come on, he's a fire fighter. You're not telling me that you didn't think he was smoking hot."

"Rin," Haru scolded, trying to wave away the thoughts from his head.

"What, I can't admire him?" Rin chuckled at Haru's flustered appearance. "Do you know how much the gear they wear weighs all together? I bet he could lift me with one arm."

"Rin, stop," Haru could feel the blood collecting in his ears.

"Imagine if he had to carry you out of the restaurant. He could probably manage to toss you over his shoulder," he continued, more to embarrass Haru at this point. "I wouldn't mind being manhandled like that-"

"Rin!" Haru covered his ears when Rin stopped to laugh at him. Haru tried hard not to imagine Makoto throwing him over his shoulder before tossing him unceremoniously on his bed, pealing off his fire fighter's gear layer by layer, before climbing on top of him and allowing Haru to run his fingers along defined muscles, flexing under his touch -

Shit.

He smacked Rin when he heard howling laughter next to him.

Haru started awake and looked at the clock on the wall, noting that it was way too early to be startled awake.

He jumped out of bed and began to pace his room, trying to avoid the contents of his dream that were way too vivid to just be a dream.

Warm, calloused hands ran over his body as a shivery breath left him. He felt a chuckle coast against his skin and he looked down, eyes met with green as he was regarded through long, thick lashes.

"Does it feel good, Haru?"

"Ugh," Haru sank to the ground as he mussed up his hair. It wasn't like he hadn't had dreams like those over the years, but this one in particular was just too real for him to really feel comfortable.

Haru looked down at the shirt he was currently wearing. He wished it still smelled like him, but years of having worn it had worked to fade the scent that he longed for at this moment.

Haru climbed back into bed, shedding his boxers as he trailed a hand over his chest, closing his eyes to conjure up the images from his dream.

Warm lips gently traced the lines of his body as he threaded his fingers through soft hair. He felt a breath escape him as those lips began to kiss along the junction of his hip, a tongue barely touching him as it traced the 'v' defined there.

Haru sighed as he licked his lips that were suddenly dry with the ragged, needy breaths that escaped him as he finally grabbed at his cock, pumping a slow rhythm that his hips matched languidly as he traced circles around his nipples.

Haru.

"Hah," Haru didn't try to stop the ragged moan that escaped him as he continued to imagine calloused hands kneading his butt cheeks, before they continued to trail his skin lightly as they moved around to massage his inner thighs, spreading him open.

"Fuck," he felt the word escape him as he brought his other hand to his mouth, licking two fingers before bringing them back down at his entrance. He bit his lip as he traced himself slowly, before plunging one finger in slowly, spreading his legs as he tried to find the place that made him shiver.

Here, Haru?

"Yeah," he moaned, answering his phantom lover when he found the spot that sent shivers down his spine. His hips began to thrust harder into his hand. "Ahh..."

You look so good, Haru.

"Please," he begged, feeling himself hovering on the edge. "Makoto," he nearly choked on the name as he squeezed hard, releasing into his hand. A few more pumps and he was gone, spent and heaving shaky breaths as he came down from his orgasm, eyes glassy with satisfaction.

Haru got up and washed his hands, before daring to look at himself in the mirror. He looked at his reflection, noting that his skin looked more flushed, looking more satisfied from this release than he ever had over the years.

He leaned his head on the cool marble of the sink, groaning into his palms.

These feelings had gotten worse over the years. Haru wasn't too sure how to feel about that.