Haru felt his breath rattle against his ribs, his lungs screamed in pain as he ran down the street to the hospital.

He'd left his taxi in a frantic hurry, all of his words catching in his throat and spilling out at the same time. He felt a stitch in his side from running so hard, the burn of it made his whole body shake.

Haru staggered to the front desk. "I'm here to see Tachibana Makoto," voice a broken wheeze, cold sweat trickling down the back of his neck. The receptionist looked at him with concerned eyes as she heard the name, and she stood up quietly.

"Follow me, please," she gestured her hand, indicating that he follow, and Haru fell in step with her. The silence, though normally something he welcomed, only emphasized the heart beat pounding in his ears. His blood was rushing through his veins at an uncomfortable level, and he wished there was some way he could force the elevator to move faster.

Makoto.

I have to see Makoto.

I have to reach him.

The elevator dinged loudly, sounding more like a scream to Haru than anything, and he continued to follow the receptionist down the hallway, her shoes echoing on the tile which only served to punctuate the eerie quiet of the floor.

Haru hated the thought, but it drifted in his mind that it was so quiet because death was lurking on all surfaces of this floor. He chased the thought away, scared of where it would lead him.

The receptionist held open the door and Haru stepped into the quiet waiting room. He could feel the tension in each tick of the clock that was on the wall, sterile white as Makoto's family sat on the two couches in the corner, close by the water cooler. Mr. Tachibana had an arm around Mrs. Tachibana, and she held a clenched hand in his lap, eyes dark with worry, like she hadn't found sleep in years.

With a pang in his heart, Haru looked to the twins, looking lost, small, like they were children saying good bye to their brother going away for university all over again, except it was worse, because this time, they didn't know if he'd come back. It hurt, looking at the both of them, only just into their first weeks of high school and already having to deal with this.

Ren looked like Makoto, more than ever now, save for his eye colour, and Ran was beginning to look like their mother in stature, and it hurt to see them curled up together on the couch, holding each other's hands like they'd realized that they could lose each other at any moment.

"Haruka-kun," Haru's eyes met Makoto's mother, and meeting her eyes was almost like meeting Makoto's, but they were dull. A dull green that he never knew could happen to those eyes. He never wanted to see them like that again, because if her eyes could look like that, then Makoto-

Haru didn't want to finish that thought.

"We called your friends, but you're the first one here," she said as she absently rubbed his arm and sat him down next to her, threading her fingers through his as she squeezed, looking down at their joined hands, Makoto's father rubbing her back as he watched with a tiredness that Haru thought didn't suit him at all. He felt her squeeze his hands and he looked at her, a new wetness in her eyes that he thought must have hurt, with how swollen her skin looked from crying unshed tears. "I wonder how many times I could have held my son's hand like this. How many times he would have let me baby him whenever he visited..."

Mrs. Tachibana couldn't continue, lifting her free hand to her mouth to muffle the sob that managed to escape her throat, pressing her palms into her eyes as she keeled forward into her lap. Haru could feel her tears against the back of his hand, hot and scalding as they ran tracks down his skin, and he was so numb to everything he couldn't even shed his own tears. But he felt something, deep within his chest, constricting his pulse and shortening his breath, as he let Mrs. Tachibana cry on his hand, into her lap, the very real feeling of losing her oldest son, her first baby, heavy on his shoulders and shaking his heart.

"I'm sorry, Haruka-kun," he heard quietly next to him, and he wished he was more capable of giving the comfort that Mrs. Tachibana always seemed to be able to give freely, without restraint, because of anybody in this room, she needed it the most. "I shouldn't... He'll be fine. The doctor came by earlier and they said they were stabilizing him. Everything will be..."

"Honey," Haru almost startled away from Mrs. Tachibana when he heard Mr. Tachibana speak, low and quiet, desperate, sounding as helpless as Haru felt and he wondered for a moment, briefly, how much he was holding back, if not for his wife. "Come here."

If Haru had grown up with his parents, he had a feeling he never would have experienced the kind of affection that he saw when he was with the Tachibana family. He was sure his parents were never as giving in their love, as open in their love, as the Tachibanas were. As soon as he spoke, Mrs. Tachibana allowed herself to be wrapped in Mr. Tachibana's arms, encompassing her in an embrace that made Haru, briefly, think of Makoto when he used to hold the twins in his arms. She looked so small, fragile, leaning into him, and Haru wondered for a moment what Mr. Tachibana said to her on their wedding day, if he promised to take all her pain and protect her from heartache.

It made Haru think about how broken he must have felt, being unable to protect her from this.

He heard footsteps echoing outside the door, and it burst open a moment later, and Rin stumbled through the threshold, panting, sweating, like he'd ran all the way here without stopping. He frantically looked at Haru, before his eyes wandered over the room, and over the Tachibanas, before he allowed himself to heave a ragged sigh, broken.

"Everyone else will be here soon," he said quietly as he bowed politely to Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana before bouncing a bit as he sat down next to Haru. His eyes were dark, stormy, like he'd been thinking of every possible way things could go wrong at any moment, and it hurt to see Rin this way. "Sousuke will be up soon, he's just parking the car with my sister."

Haru nodded, staring down at the ground. For a moment, they couldn't say anything, and he wondered if Rin was scared, but then of course he was, because Haru knew that he himself was scared, so much so that he couldn't find himself, couldn't feel his own heartbeat.

They heard more footsteps, and the door opened, Gou stepping through followed almost immediately by Sousuke. Rin stood up and went to hug his sister, who hugged him back. Haru watched as Sousuke clapped a hand on Rin's shoulder, eyebrows drawn together in his distress. Haru wondered, briefly, how many people Makoto affected just by being there? Just by knowing him?

"Haru," Rin turned to him, and his eyes looked empty, scared. It brought Haru back to when he had come back from Australia that one winter, so lost and without his reason to swim, that it frightened him to what Rin might be thinking of.

He followed Rin out of the waiting room, and they walked down the hall next to each other. Rin slipped a coin into the nearby vending machine and took a sip of the soda. Haru leaned on the wall, watching him struggle with the words he wanted to say.

"Makoto's the one who encouraged me to confess to you all those years ago," he managed. He looked at Haru, who grit his teeth. He didn't want to hear this now, but Rin looked at him like this was important. "He... he probably loved you then and yet I still... I still asked him how to confess to you and..."

Haru watched with worried, wide eyes as Rin sunk to the ground, head in his hands as he sobbed into his palms. "He just... encouraged me. He still wanted me to be happy. Because, fuck, he doesn't fight for anything, not if it's for himself. God... damn it," Rin covered his mouth, trembling as tears spilled with each blink. "I never even... thanked him. For being my friend. For being-"

"Rin. Stop," Haru crouched down next to him, hand on his shoulder as he shook him gently. "You can still tell him. He's still-"

"Still here? Still alive? Haru," Rin turned to him, eyes so wet and raw that it startled him. "They've been here since this morning. There's no way, there's no way that something isn't wrong. What if he never wakes up? What if he can't see? What if-"

"Stop it Rin," Haru's voice was rough, almost a bark as the words escaped him. You're not helping. He felt tears stinging his eyes, ready to rush out of him at any moment. Rin blinked at him before realizing what was wrong.

"Shit, Haru. I'm sorry. I... I wasn't thinking," Rin sighed and the both of them sat on the floor, backs sliding against the wall as the weight of their worry sank with them. "I just... I couldn't say it in front of his parents, y'know? Fuck, they must feel..."

Like their whole world is falling apart, Haru wanted to say, but his eyes slipped up to the ceiling, the fluorescent lighting burning his vision a bit. He had wanted to break down and cry as soon as he stepped passed the door to the waiting room, but seeing the Tachibanas there, once so loving and full of life, now so quiet and demure as they waited for news, for anything, about Makoto that he couldn't even say anything to them. How selfish would it have been of him, if he were the one to break down and cry instead of Mrs. Tachibana? And yet, he knew that if he did, she would hold out for him, would hug him, would let him cry until he couldn't anymore, because that's how she was, that's how they were.

That's how Makoto was.

Makoto.

"I..." the word was barely a breath when he managed to speak finally, and he swallowed around the lump in his throat, eyes burning and hot with anxiety. Rin shifted to face him, leaning up against the vending machine. "I never got to tell him thank you."

"'Thank you'?" Rin echoed. Haru nodded.

"Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for always pulling me out of the bath tub. Thank you for splitting the popsicle with me. Thank you for worrying about the cold temperature. Thank you for-" Haru lurched forward, gagging on his sob as he shut his eyes tight, hands pressed over his mouth as he breathed dry, hiccuping gasps that tore through him every time he inhaled. Rin rubbed his back, waiting.

"Thank you for loving me, and never asking for anything back. Thank you for loving me, even when I... even when I never gave you a reason to," Haru pressed a palm into his eye and bit his lip, fighting the urge to crumple to the floor. He heard Rin breathe, sounding suspiciously like a chuckle, and Haru turned to look at him through his watery gaze.

Rin shook his head, almost exasperated. "He really doesn't ask for anything in return, huh?" he said, not looking at Haru, but he could see the tears staining tracks down his cheeks, wetting his skin as they fell. "That asshole..."

The both of them fell silent, fighting the urge to cry as they sat there, wallowing in their own tears, before Rin stood up and went back inside. Haru sat on the floor for a moment more, before taking out his phone.

Haru-chan, me and Rei-chan will be there soon! Haru sniffed as he replied, before getting up and walking back inside.

He looked to Rin, who was sitting next to Gou, her head on his shoulder. She was holding Sousuke's hand as he leaned on his fist, looking tired, like he'd just come off a long day of work. Haru turned his head to look at the twins, who were now huddled with their parents, looking so lost and forlorn it hurt to watch them, Ran's breath hitching a bit as she had a fitful nap on her father's lap, Ren with an arm around his mother's shoulder as he slept.

Looking at them, for once, he felt like an outsider.

He jumped a bit when he heard the door open behind him, immediately stepping aside when the doctor came through. He nodded his head politely, and watched as the Tachibanas roused from their positions, immediately standing as the doctor came forward.

"Tachibana-san," he addressed Mrs. Tachibana as she clasped her hands together. "We've just stabilized your son. He's currently resting in the recovery room. We'll be keeping an eye on him, as his condition isn't quite out of danger yet, but he seems alright enough for you to see him, if you want."

Haru glanced over at Rin, who was watching with his lips pressed together, Gou's hand clutching tightly at him. Mrs. Tachibana nodded, taking her husband's and Ren's hand. "We'd like to see him," she said, squaring her shoulders, face scared but determined.

All of them followed the doctor down the hall, and he stepped aside to let the Tachibanas through. Haru stayed by the door, paralyzed; what he saw was something he never thought he'd have to see.

When his grandmother had been on her last breath, she was at the hospital. Haru was too young at the time, so his parents didn't let him see her. He remembered them saying that she had tubes and wires on her to help her breathe, help her sleep easier, until she was finally ready to move on.

Haru bit his lip as he gripped the door frame. He never thought he'd see Makoto, so full of life in everything he did, in a state as surreal as this. A heart monitor beeped next to him, indicating his steady pulse, an IV drip hooked up to him, next to that was a blood bag, dripping steadily into Makoto, giving him life that wasn't his. He had a tube going to his nose, and one going into his mouth. A bandage covered his neck and left side, and just under it Haru could see his skin, burned and broken, from the explosion. His face was pale, bruised, dark circles under his eyes and lips cracked.

It didn't look like him. That wasn't Makoto. That wasn't his Makoto.

But it was. It was him. That was Makoto, lying there like death was on his chest, fighting for life with the little strength he had. How could he look so broken?

"Makoto," Haru watched as Mrs. Tachibana tentatively went to his side, fingers sliding over his hand, covered in burns, before stroking his bangs off his forehead, carefully, gently, like pressing too hard would trigger something, like moving him too much would cut his last thread. "We're here, son. We love you. You-"

Her husband moved to her side immediately, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze as she regained her composure. "You are so brave, to give yourself so willingly like that. That boy you saved? His mother came to thank us. Who are we, to accept her gratitude? When it was you who did that," she carefully threaded her fingers through his, bypassing the tubes and wires attached to them. "We're proud of you. We always will be."

She gave his hand a gentle pat, and the four of them slowly made their way out of the room. Haru followed as they moved back to the waiting room, walking as if the air itself turned heavy, restricting his movements. A sporadic beep made Haru's blood freeze, his heart dropping through his stomach as it tore through him, dragging every thought with it as he turned, catching sight of Makoto's body suddenly arch up, lurching as if he was choking, or getting strangled by death, the beeping on the monitor suddenly going haywire.

He heard Rin calling him as he stepped towards the door. Flashes of when Makoto nearly drowned played in front of him as he started towards the door, even as Rin held him back. Once, before, Haru had managed to save Makoto by swimming with every last ounce of himself, swimming with such a panic that he could have swam around the world if that's where Makoto.

Here, now, as he watched Makoto struggle, body convulsing as his heart beeped frantically on the screen, Haru felt the thought, seeping into every pore of his body, that no amount of swimming he could do would save him.

"Makoto," his name slipped past Haru's lips even as he felt a second pair of hands grab at him, pulling him away from the door, away from the body that was Makoto's as it struggled against life, struggled against death.

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa's voice called him away and he felt two warm hands cup his cheeks, Nagisa's eyes forcing him to tear his gaze away. "Come on Haru-chan, let's go. We have to go now, okay?"

"No, Makoto is-" Haru swallowed, gasping, "he's-"

"Haru-chan, we have to give the doctors space, okay? He'll be fine. Mako-chan will be fine!" Nagisa pushed on his chest as Rin dragged him away from the room, away from Makoto.

"No, let me go," Haru felt his breath coming to him rapidly, hands shaking, numb at the fingers, tingling at the palms, a cold sweat forming on the back of his neck. He couldn't breathe, even though he was choking for air, wheezing with each breath. "It's Makoto. He's alone! I can't leave him-"

"Haruka-san," Rei's voice cut through him as they sat him down on a bench in the hallway, and Rei held a paper bag in front of his mouth. Haru grasped Rei's wrist, shaking, cold, eyes frantically darting everywhere. "I'm going to count to four, and then you're going to breath in. I'm going to count to four again, and then you're going to breathe out, okay? We'll continue until you have your breathing regulated, alright?" and Haru nodded, gasping, eyes watering.

"One, two, three, four. And inhale," Haru's shoulders shook as he gasped for the breath, his body shaking with hiccups as he sucked in air. "One, two, three, four. And exhale."

The bag crinkled as he breathed out into it, over and over again until his vision stopped swimming, his hands stopped shaking, the pounding in his head stopped throbbing. He pushed Rei's hand away from him, gently, and he lowered his head into his hands, able to breathe on his own but still slightly frantic.

"You good now?" Rin asked him. Haru's throat hurt so he just nodded.

"Where's Hakune?" he rasped, suddenly realizing that she should be here.

Nagisa blinked. "I haven't seen Haku-chan around. Did anyone call her?" he asked. Haru looked up to find the other two shaking their heads.

"I can do it, then," Haru's voice cracked as he pulled out his phone.

"Will you be okay here, Haru-chan? We want to greet everyone else," Nagisa asked, placing a hand on his knee. Haru nodded and watched as they walked into the waiting room together.

Haru pressed in Hakune's number and lifted the phone up to his ear. It ran twice and he closed his eyes when he heard it click. "Hello?"

"Hakune," breathing was hard as Haru said her name.

"Haru! What's up?" he drew in a quiet, shaky breath, and she picked up on it immediately. "What's wrong?"

"It's... it's Makoto," he half sobbed into the receiver, cupping his mouth with his hand. "We're at the hospital. Hakune, please..."

He heard her begin to run, and soon he heard the sounds of the street. "I'm hailing a cab. I'll be there as soon as I can," she said, and he heard the phone click, the line going dead.

Haru closed his eyes as he rested his head on the wall behind him. He pressed his hand over his heart.

It beat strongly, giving him life. How he wished he could give it to Makoto.