Blind
Chapter 8: Theories in Love
All night I read those precious daily journals written by Miyagi's father. They were simple day to day activities such gardening, hiking and checking livestock. When Miyagi is in Japan, he rarely wrote, but when he does; it is mostly about how much he misses his son. The father and son relationship based on what I've read, seems to be really strong. I kept the few remaining intact journals in my sanctuary, inside the dusty unused end table drawer. Thanks to those journals, some of my questions that I had since day one are answered. One of the main question "Why did he take me here?" Is somewhat answer in a sense of hypothesis. My theory on why Miyagi abduct me is because he was lonely and wants a son to do things that he had done when he was a kid. Which explains why he hasn't murder or rape me yet. Yet what makes this theory implausible is that he kissed me. Not those grandmother kisses every kid tries to run away from, it was a passionate kiss. More like a sexual make out session we had yesterday to be more precise. He pushes me away when things got weird and refuses to have sex. Is it because he views me as his son?
I lay down on the full size bed and stare at the ceiling. It's still dark outside but the rain has stop. I haven't had an ounce of sleep tonight.
I think about earlier over Miyagi's question.
Do you love me?
Whom do you see me as?
If I said I hate him with every bone in my body that would be a lie. If I said he is just abductor and nothing more, that would be a lie as well. In truth, Miyagi is a nice genuine man who always looks out for me making sure I don't get into trouble. Yes, I admit what he has done is illegal and should pay for the consequences but I would never turn him in. Miyagi has taught me how to appreciate life more which made me grew into a better person. When he left me alone for one whole entire week; I quickly learn how to do things myself just in case he never return. I made a goal to find civilization and all of that week I went out on the ATV to accomplish my goal. As frustrating as I am in not finding any sign of human life, I learn many new things out there in the wild. Pretty soon my dexterity, endurance, ability and even common sense grew. Hope has fill my heart in hopes to find someone out there to get me out of here. Even if I will never return to my homeland again, at least I tried and knowing that nothing bad will happen to me out here puts me at ease.
...~...
Morning arrives with a hot humid weather turning my dirty blonde hair into a frizzy mess. Miyagi emerges out of his room looking better compared to yesterday incident. He told me to put on my shoes and to come outside. I did what he ask me to. Outside, I encounter a big ass trailer filled with sheep, talkative chickens and a chill looking cow.
"We need to build a barn and fences for these animals, especially for the cow since she is pregnant."
I hop onto the wheel barrier to see the cow more closely, sure enough I see the evident pregnant bump. I wonder if she will have a boy or girl?
Miyagi hands me his truck keys and enters the passenger seat. I enter as well but having a little more confidence. I insert the key into the keyhole and switch it on. The engine roar to life and gives a steady hum signaling it's alive.
"You see that odd looking tree there?" He points to the crooked deform tree. "Drive straight down to the pathway."
I shift the gears to drive and stomp on the gas pedal. About a half mile later, we encounter an old beat up barn shelter. The roof appears wanting to collapse by the amount of rain it accumulated. I put the vehicle on park, turn off the engine and exit the truck. Miyagi brought his worn out brown heavy backpack which was sitting in the trunk with a bunch of other equipment. He told me to carry it as he takes out a spiral notebook with a black pen attached inside the spiral. We enter this old barn and straight away Miyagi went to work inspecting the building. I sat down and look at the contents in the backpack which he had me carrying like a mule.
Inside was a hammer, measuring tape, packet of nails, pocket hatchet, screw driver and so many more tools along with it. I look inside the front pocket and saw a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. I took the box out and open the flap. Inside are 20 sticks resting comfortably all next to each other. I took one out and study the dangerous stick. It smells a bit nice unburnt. Miyagi, who was examining for mold, notices my curiosity with the cigarette bud. He smiles, walks up to me and grabs the stick away.
"This isn't for kids"
"I've tried cigarettes before, they're not that bad!" I lied. To be honest I never wanted to try one till now.
"Really? Would you like to share a flame?" Would that be consider an indirect kiss? He puts the stick he took from me in his mouth while grabbing the distinguish Las Vegas lighter. I grab one out of the box and stick it in my mouth. It taste the paper. He lights up the lighter, scoots close to me as we share a single flame lighting up our sticks. I took a big inhale... Shit! It fucking stings my throat. I cough the smoke out as the cigarettes falls down on the floor. The taste, the scent, the sting, it all fucking hurts so bad. Why the hell did I get so cocky and try this shitty thing out. I can feel the smoke that I just inhale suffocating my lungs. How does Miyagi find comfort with inhaling cigarettes?
He snickers as he pats my back trying get all the smoke out of my system.
"I thought you had done this before?"
"I lied, do you seriously think I had done this before! Fucking hell, how do you find this enjoyable?"
"I use them as stress relievers, the light buzz I get after each inhale feels really nice"
Light buzz? All I felt was painful fumes blocking my throat. I will never considered smoking for the rest of my life and the next. Miyagi continues on smoking as he inspects the rest of the building. An hour later he shows me the notes and plans.
"The exterior of the barn is still in decent condition but we need to repair the roof as soon as possible. Rain isn't much of a problem here but after that one day rain we just got, there is major leakage that can possibly ruin the support frame of this barn if we don't act on it soon."
I look at his drawings and see that he wants to input a new roof material. Instead of asphalt shingles, he wants metal roof lining.
"I already knew shingles don't last very long, it's a good thing I bought the metal roofing but I might need to buy some more materials for other repairs"
Buy more? Does that mean he needs to go back...to the city? Should I ask? Is it too risky to ask?
"Umm..." my heart beats fast as I try to find the right words."...um..do you think..I can go with you?"
"No"
What the hell? Does he think I'm going to escape? Well I am going to, eventually, but I thought he have a little more faith in me? "Why?" I ask heatedly
"I have livestock now, someone needs to stay here to feed the animals and make sure they are safe. Even if I let you drive to the city while I stay here, you don't know English fluently."
My annoyance has tame down after hearing his reasons with me unable to go to the city.
"Will you ever let me?"
He didn't respond.
"Miyagi?"
"Maybe sometime soon" he finally answers
...~...
We head back to the house to get the equipment. All day we work on removing the shingles on the roof and repair any water damage to the structure frame. It was extremely hot being on top of the roof shirtless with sucky hot water to drink but it was worth it when I take my breaks and watch Miyagi amazing gleaming body. He definitely looks like a Calvin Klein model. As night arrives, the weather turns freezing cold. We made good progress and it was a really productive day. Never have I done any sort of labor work until today. I remember all my years being in Japan, not once have I held a tool other than a screw driver.
I drove back to the house. Miyagi shows me what to feed to the animals in the morning since it will be my job for now on.
"When will you leave?" I ask as we enter the house.
"Possibly after we complete the roof."
Miyagi cooks dinner while I lay on the sofa exhausted. Cheerio jumps on top of me and rest on my stomach. If I knew what we were going to do today, I would have gotten my ass to bed earlier last night. Moments later I drift off into sleep.
...~...
I feel something warm wrap around my body. It's definitely not Cheerio. This warmth overpowers my entire body based on the size. I slowly open my eyes and saw the end table with the now decaying red flowers Miyagi brought to me when I injure my food. I am in my sanctuary, but I'm not alone. I try to move but I couldn't because I am lock between his arms...my capt-...no, Miyagi's arms. Questions sprang into my mind about how I got into a spooning position with him. Should I call out his name or should I just keep quiet. It feel really nice to be in his arms...Shoot I just realized I need to pee. Curse my bladder.
"Miyagi?" I whisper
No respond
"Miyagi wake up" I spoke a little louder
Geez this is embarrassing, if he doesn't wake up soon, I'm going to have to wet the bed which will ruin my self-esteem big time. I can already imagine the horrible nicknames Miyagi will soon give me. I kept calling his name louder and louder until he finally awaken surprise. His arms release so that he can rub the star dust in his eyes. It was my chance to escape and I did. I ran to the bathroom trying to hold in my bladder as much as I can. Shutting the door behind me, I raise the seat stool, unzip my khaki jeans and let out a long relieving piss.
Once I'm done, I flush and wash my hands in the sink. I look at the mirror in front of me and see that my face is a pinkish hue from my ears down to my cheeks. I turn off the water and thought about what just happen. Let's be honest, I might have some romantic feelings towards him. I really truly hope he doesn't consider me as his son in his eyes by this point. Maybe it doesn't have to if I made the move. Obviously he got confuse and fluster with my drunk first kiss. Yes, I should take the first move because I am a man, and that's what men supposed to do. I walk to the now occupied sanctuary and spot Miyagi just laying down resting. Taking a deep breathe, I took off my shirt as I walk towards the side of the bed Miyagi is on.
He is shirtless; wearing his grey pajama bottoms in a very low position where I can see his hip bones sticking out. In between those glorifying hip bones is a happy trail leading down to the prize package.
I got on the bed, hovering over him.
"Shinobu..what are you do-" I cut his sentence off with a long hard kiss. Our tongues swirl around exploring each other. I have no previous experience of how to kiss properly but my instincts took over and guide me unconsciously.
We continue the passionate kisses until Miyagi pushes me back, trying to catch his breathe. I straddle him, beneath me is his hard intense erection hiding behind those grey pajama bottoms.
"I don't think we should be doing this..."
I think we should
"..Shinobu, you are 15 years old. The idea of having sex with you just creeps me out."
And kidnapping isn't?
"I seriously don't think you want your first time to be with some old man like me" Geez, you are pissing me off! Does he think I'm not serious about this?
"You are just a kid." At that moment I didn't know if I should cry or kill him. My heart sank...so my hypothesis was correct...all I am is just a kid. And that fucking pisses me off!
I punch him in the face-hard. Red marks appears on the side of his face and drips of blood appear from the corner of his mouth.
"I can't believe you got the audacity to say that my face after all that you put me through! Fuck you Miyagi! You think this is some sort of game? Am i just a pawn to mess around with? You made me have this stupid fucking feelings I never felt before!" Dammit! Don't break down! Don't show my...vulnerability...
"Shinobu.." he whispers my name as he wipes away my fresh tears dripping down to my cheeks.
"Fucking hell, take responsibility old man...because I love you" His strong arms wraps around my petite adolescent frame.
My face sank down to his chest as I cry out my exasperating unknown feelings. It's scary to not know what is happening to me. I like to have control over my emotions but when I am with Miyagi, I don't think right. This aggravates me. I know this has to be love. There is no other explanation as to why I feel this way.
"Why do I love you Miyagi?" I sob
"Because..." Miyagi closes his eyes as he takes a deep breathe "Love is Blind"
Note: This chapter took me a while to write because I kinda got caught up with school and had a huge fight with my boyfriend last night. Still sticking to the goal of updating regularly. Thank you for those who have commented and read this story. I don't know how to reply directly other than leaving these messages whenever I write a new chapter.