Meisters

Chapter 13: Tears

[OFFLINE]

So many things have been going through my mind I don't really know where to start. That kiss Eater and I shared, school, friends, parents. There are just too many things to start thinking at and I don't know which thought to think of first.

Eater. That kiss we shared. It was amazing and I can't ignore what I'm feeling. It started off as respect for him and it grew into this. I'm sold on him. I like him. I like being around him and teaming up with him. After the kiss everything went back to normal, sort of. We never talked about the kiss and no one of us broke up our couple. I didn't want to and I guess Eater didn't want to either or he would have already done it. A few days after the couple quest, we had started to talk about real lives. He opened up to me and I learned his real name is Soul. He lives on the outskirts of my town and he was going to the local college, what are the odds? Sometimes we talked about meeting each other in real life but it seems kind of scary if you ask me. You know, meeting someone you met online outside of it, where we are exposed to who we really are and not hiding behind of our Rift Gears. Instead Eater and I exchanged phone numbers and we started off by sending pictures of ourselves. Soul looked almost the same as Eater, even down to the pointy teeth. He even commented that my eyes are just as green as they are inside of the game. A really rare green color.

Ever since I started to play Meisters, I had kind of started to slack off in school. I went from a straight A student to a B plus. In some subjects I still managed to keep my A's and my teachers had started to talk to me about me slacking. I really wanted my A's and that meant I had to work harder and play less Meisters.

Tsubaki had been getting along with Black*Star really well. They were totally in love with each other and things got better for all of us. We all started to hang out together and it was that one time we all played Meisters at Tsubaki's house and it was really fun. We all slept over there and I had a blast. Eater and Death had met us inside of the game and we all had a great time. I had started to break out of my shell and I was happier and less alone. If I wasn't talking to Tsubaki or Black*Star, I was talking to Soul.

My parents had been calling me a lot lately. They were all sounding happy but I knew something was very wrong. They had a fake happiness façade up and that made me more suspicious. It also made me start thinking about my past, how horrible I had lived. How I always was alone and my parents never gave me the love I needed. Because of their neglect, I don't know how I am supposed to deal with my feelings for Eater. They never taught me how to feel like this and because of that Tsubaki is the one stepping up for their mistakes. She tries to tell me to just let it out and tell him but it is hard. It feels really good and that is the problem, it feels way too good. I don't know how to handle it because of it. I don't know how to show affection and I'm afraid I'm going to be left alone again. I don't want to be lonely ever again.

I must have broken some kind of record because every night, I cry. I cry because of my feelings for Eater, my parents' failure of being there for me and being a burden to everyone. I'm burdening Tsubaki by letting her know about my feelings for Eater since she easily gets frustrated when I can't do what she wants me to do. It hurts. Everything hurts and I don't like it. I'm feeling so much at once and I don't know how to take it. I don't know where I'm supposed to do with all of my feelings.

My phone buzzes while I sit and doing my homework. I smile a little and open a message from Soul. It is a picture of himself while he holds his Rift Gear in his hand. "Wanna play?"

I smile little for myself and take a picture of myself making a sad face. "Sorry, got to study. Got to keep my grades up. I will log in as soon as I'm done." I hit the send button and keep solving mathematic problems. I write off the problem in my notebook before I start solving it.

My phone buzzes again and Soul gives me a sad face. "Okay, we are going to hunt at the mountains today. When you are done with your homework you can come there." I smile a little and put my phone away. I must say, giving Soul my phone number was one of the best decisions even if it didn't seem so good at the time. Now Soul can spread joy in my life by just one simple text message.

There is a light rap on the door and I raise my eyebrow. I'm not expecting someone. Tsubaki is playing Meisters and so is Black*Star. I get up from my chair and walk up to the door and open it. My eyes widen when I see my mom standing on the other side. "Mom?!" I exclaim and she smiles drily. She has mascara dried into her cheeks. She has been crying.

"Hi Maka." She takes a step inside of my apartment with a suitcase after her. "I see you have been taking care of this apartment very nicely."

"Yeah." I say while I close and lock the door behind me. "I have to. I'm living alone." Something has happened to her, something big for her to come all the way here. "What's up mom? You could have called me and warned me about your arrival."

"We can discuss the matter over some tea. Do you still have that vanilla tea?" I nods slowly while I walk over to the kitchen and starts making us some tea. I boil us some hot water while my mom walks up to the kitchen table and finds my textbooks open and my half solved problem. "Did I disturb you in your studies?"

I shake my head. "No, I was going to stop for the night anyway." It is a lie. I was going to study for another hour before I stopped. I have a math test coming and I need to turn my grades around now. My finals will soon come and I need to be at the top. I need to nail my exams to get my A's back. I need put school before Meisters again.

"I see. How is school going?" My mom says and takes a seat on a kitchen chair.

"Good." It feels so awkward. I haven't seen my mom in a very long time. I think I last saw her was on my eighteenth birthday which was a really long time ago. I'm soon going to turn nineteen so it was almost a year ago.

It grows quiet and the only thing that is heard is the water boiling in the pot. I grab pot and pour the water in two cups before I add the teabags. I walk up to my mom and hands her one of the cup.

"Thank you sweetheart."

"You're welcome." I take a seat in front of her and watch her take a sip of her tea. "So, why are you here? It isn't often you come and visit."

"You know how hectic my work is." My mom says while she holds the tea mug in her hands, I can see her hands shaking. "Is it so wrong for a mother to come a visit her daughter?"

"You still could have called." I say and take a sip of my own tea. "Now tell me, why are you here? I can see the mascara on your cheeks and your hands are shaking. What went down?"

My mom's eyes widen and she quickly tries to wipe the mascara off of her cheeks but she fails miserably. "Sorry. I must look horrible." My mom takes a large gulp of the tea and it must be burning her throat since she flinches a little. "It's about your dad." She says after her throat has cooled a little. "Your dad and I had a divorce and it was finalized today. Your dad and I have separated."

My eyes widen and I shot up from my chair. "What?! And you decide to drop by and tell me this now?! Why didn't you say anything earlier?!" I slam my fists on the table. "Why?! You love each other! Why did you file for a divorcee?!"

My mother can't look into my eyes. She looks cowardly down at her tea while she caresses it with her shay hands. "Your father. He had an affair and he wanted to end it since he fell in love with the woman and he fell out of love with me."

I feel tears prickle my eyes. How could my dad do that? The few times I saw them together they looked like they loved each other. They held hands once in a while and they smiled toward each other. How could he go and do something like that? Why didn't they contact me and give me a heads-up? Don't I deserve one instead of my mother barging in here and dropping the bomb on me?

"Maka." My mother cups my hand and it feels weird. "We both fell out of love with each other. We were too busy working we didn't take time for each other. We didn't take time for our family. We became strangers and we both agreed it is for the best to break our marriage. It isn't healthy to stay in a marriage without feelings."

I rip my hand from hers and turn away from her. "I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch. There is a pillow and a blanket in the closet in the living room."

"Maka." My mother says but I leave the table and walks over to my room and closes it behind me and locks it. I have never had to use the lock before since I am living alone. There was never anything I had to keep out of my room. Slowly I slide down my bedroom door and I feel my tears rolling down my cheeks silently.

In my mind, I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe my parents filed for a divorce. I don't want to believe my father cheated on my mother. I can't believe they fell both out of love with each other because then I wouldn't have found my mother standing outside of my door with mascara dried to her cheeks. She is heartbroken because she did still hold feelings for him. She still loves him and he has found a different woman to love because they were both too busy to take care of each other. Their jobs ripped them away from each other and killed the romance.

It hurts. It hurts very much even if I barely see my parents. So this was the reason they called so often and wanted to know what I was doing. They were checking up on me to see when my mom could drop the bomb.

Without even bothering to wipe away my tears, I grab my laptop and starts it. I put on my pajama and puts up my hair in pigtails. I know Eater and the others are waiting for me. I'm not in the greatest shape to play Meisters but I know if I don't show up, they will grow very worried about me. Hopefully it can soothe the pain and make me forget all about my problems, except one. I can never forget about Eater. Not even in there.

I lie down in my bed and pull the blanket over me. I grab my Rift Gear and put it on before I start the game.