It's been three days since I last posted! I owe you guys Chapters 18-20, so I'll post those today and I'll have a note explaining some things at the end. -BlitheBells

Chapter Eighteen

Mrs Carter agrees to stay the extra few hours over the phone and Bucky promises to pay more and on his way to the bus stop, he passes a barber shop. He stops and stares for a minute and if he had a free hand, which he doesn't, he might have pulled at the ends of his hair thoughtfully.

He's got a few solid hours before he's going to meet Nat. He ducks into the barber shop.

Once at home, Mrs Carter seems to like his haircut and he changes into something nicer to wear, meaning black dress slacks and a button up shirt with the left sleeve pinned up, and lets Stevie run his hands over his hair.

"Kinda short, huh, buddy," Bucky says and Stevie seems almost confused. "You can't pull on it anymore. Sorry, baby."

He's eager to surprise Natalia and see what she thinks. He wonders if bringing flowers would be overboard, and then dismisses the idea because he probably doesn't have the cash for it anyway.

He shows up at her door just a little late because he got caught up playing with Stevie and he offers her a smile. She's in a dress with her hair curled and when she opens the door, she double takes and stares. He reaches up and smooths his hair back.

"What do you think?" He asks and Natalia steps out into the hall in her barefeet and kisses him. He's almost caught off guard and he wraps his arm around her and kisses back and she starts to drag him into her apartment, her hands on the collar of his shirt.

"It looks great," she says and presses her lips up against his again, shutting the door behind them.

"I was nervous you might not like it," he says between breaths and she laughs a little. He's up against the wall and she's got her hands on his shoulders, holding him there while they kiss each other. He runs his hand down her back and she tangles her fingers in his newly cropped hair and then there's a seconds hesitation where she pulls back and presses her forehead to his and he says, "are we really here for dinner or was that just a clever lie?"

Natalia laughs again and takes his wrist and pulls him further into her apartment and into the kitchen, where dishes of pasta have been set up.

"I'm not just here to seduce you," she teases. "I promise."

They sit and Bucky wonders if this counts as a first date or a third or fourth date and because he feels like it would be awkward to ask, he tells himself to forget about it. Instead, he says, "this is the first time we're getting together without Stevie."

Natalia looks up at him and nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess you're right," she says. "How strange."

He wants to put into words for her how he feels. They way they fit along with each other as though they'd been best friends for years, falling back on each other their whole lives, even though he thinks he's barely known her a month. Even though he still feels as though there's a whole world behind Natalia that he's yet to learn, he thinks he knows the important things. He knows he really, really loves her. He trusts her with his whole heart and somehow, all his responsibilities and the weight of everything on his shoulders seem less like hindrances that keep them apart and more like challenges to face together. He's never felt like this with anyone else before. That maybe, for once, someone's got his back.

Silenced as he considers this, Bucky takes a bite of Natalia's spaghetti and compliments it.

"You've definitely got me beat where cooking is concerned," Bucky says with a smile. "This isn't even out of a can!" Natalia actually laughs out loud.

"It's not exactly gourmet, either," she says. And there's that smile again, and that laugh like bells. He wants to remember it forever. "It's just pasta."

"I love it," he tells her and takes another bite.

There's a pause in the conversation as they both eat and then Natalia leans forward the way she does over the table with her elbows up, looking at him like he's the most interesting thing in the world.

"So, why the haircut?" She asks and he puts his fork down to run his hand over it again.

"Thought it might make job hunting easier," he admits. "I figure I'd have better odds if I didn't look homeless." He doesn't mention that he'd thought she might like it. Natalia rolls her eyes.

"I wouldn't say homeless," she says. "Maybe, rugged. Or, um, distracted."

"Distracted?" Bucky asks and now it's his turn to laugh loudly. "That's quite a stretch. And all for the sake of being nice about my grooming skills."

"Well, it didn't look bad!" Natalia cries and he smiles.

"But you have to admit, the clean cut look will be a little better on interview day," he says and she nods, raising her shoulders, playfully defeated.

"Speaking of interviews," she says and she waves her fork at him. "Have you got anything set up yet?" Bucky makes a face and looks down at his plate.

"I'm working on it," he says weakly. "I, uh, don't have a lot of skills."

"What are you talking about?" Natalia asks. "I'm sure that's not right. What are you good at? What do you like to do?" Bucky glances up at her and shrugs.

"I was a good soldier," he admits. "That's all I know, is that I was a really good soldier." He laughs a little uncomfortably. "But that's not really an option."

"No, I guess not," Natalia says. "Have you got some sort of government wage? They take care of veterans, don't they?"

"Not me," Bucky says and she bites her lip, probably realizing too late that she shouldn't have mentioned the army. "It's really complicated," he continues and he looks away, feeling ashamed. "I don't qualify for their support anymore."

"We'll keep looking," Natalia tells him quietly. "We'll find something else for you to do." He just nods.

Eight comes far, far too soon and Bucky hurries home to relieve Mrs Carter.

The next morning, he makes a call into Dr Starks office and cancels the contract for his prosthetic. He doesn't want to admit how much making that call crushes him.