Author's Note: I seriously want to marry you guys. Each one of you. For leaving such kick-ass reviews. Keep it up! I usually start writing after I read a review. I don't know why, but even the upset ones are inspiring. Heh. Anyway, guess what? I just passed driver's ed! Yay!… Well, I thought it was exciting.

This chapter was really a struggle to write, but I think I like the final attempt. Hopefully you will too! Flashbacks are in italics.

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Movie Script Ending

Chapter Thirty-Six: Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers

Swings swung back and forth with the weight of the children on them, sand was thrown and shifted and shaped, children screamed and laughed, and the unfortunate ones cried.

This was not for her. She'd decided the second her mother had shooed her and the new nanny off that she would try to make this a positive experience, and here she was, failing miserably.

She was only five years old, and already, she was disgusted with this sight. Her dress was getting dustier by the second, not to mention the fact that her new shoes were wrinkled. Her hair, so tightly clipped back in French braids, felt suddenly too tightly clipped back. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, but it sure wasn't good.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she felt herself being thrown down into the sand. What had pushed her down was some strange-looking leather ball and the second she hit the ground, she instinctively opened her mouth to cry. Even though it really hadn't hurt that badly.

The ball-thrower took a few steps towards her, face scrunched. "Uh… sorry about that." He said slowly, with that usual discomfort people felt when approaching someone they've just hurt in some way.

Annoyed, she began to pick herself up. "Ouch." She spat, eyeing his matching blue shorts and tank-top.

"I said I was sorry." His wall began to come up, and he crossed his arms over his chest, now just wanting the girl to return his ball.

"That doesn't really matter since you still did it, does it?"

"What?"

Both stared, chests going up and down rhythmically, hands placed strategically.

"My dress," she hadn't realized she was really crying until that moment, "is ruined."

He couldn't lie. Her dress certainly did look ruined. The white - who wore white to the park? - part was all kind of a gray-ish brown now, and the flowers looked more blotchy than anything else. Her hair was kind of coming out of its braids now, stray dark, wavy locks falling to her shoulders. But he still couldn't believe she was crying! He was feeling worse by the second.

"I'm really sorry. Hey, you can get me dirty if you want!"

She frowned but looked up to meet his gaze, interested. "What do you mean?"

"Just - here, just splash some sand on me." He lowered himself to her level and picked some of the wet sand up from the sandbox, rubbing it on his shorts.

"But I--"

"Come on!" He edged her on, rubbing some more of the dark brown sand into his thighs. He could feel the substance begin to seep through and he shifted uncomfortably.

"Okay," she smiled unsurely, reaching down to do as he did.

The long-forgotten basketball nudged her leg and she pushed it away, giggling as the dark-haired boy began retaliating. He reached forward, pulling her hair from their constricting braids, and helping loosen them out, so her hair fell messily around her. Shyly, she chucked some more sand in his direction, and they remained that way for a while; shyly laughing and playing.

Finally, when she was dirty from head to toe and rolling in the sand in hysterics, they heard a voice.

"Nathan! Nathan, it's getting late. I have work to do."

The boy beside her, apparently named Nathan, turned to look at his mother pleadingly. "Can't we stay a little longer, mom?"

"Aw, I'm sorry sweetie. But I have a lot of work to do." He sighed, seeming to deflate.

She watched as he stood to leave, this charming boy with the strange, leather ball.

"Bye Nathan," she whispered softly, and he didn't even hear her as he got up to leave.

Perhaps it was just her imagination, but as Brooke turned to look at herself sideways in the mirror, bringing her shirt up just beneath her breasts, she could almost definitely see the slight curve in her stomach begin to form. Despite herself, and the situation in itself, she couldn't help but feel the corners of her lip tug up into a smile. Her fingers slithered up and down the warm skin, where somewhere deep underneath, a baby was growing; her baby.

Her smile dropped as the thoughts filled her mind. Was it ridiculous that she felt bad for feeling this way about the child? What seemed like forever ago, she'd had another child inside of her. This was not that same child, not even close. And though she was sure to love it equally, she felt robbed of the other baby. Like she and Lucas and even this child inside her would never get to know that other life.

And they wouldn't. But she was tired of feeling sorry for herself, of playing the victim in a situation she had no right playing the victim in.

It was time for her to get over everything that had gone wrong in her marriage. Time for her to change everything around. It was now summer; she could start over, and she would.

She could remember a discussion she'd had in high school years before, when a crazy, young teacher had started going off topic, and they'd fallen into the genre of love. He had given the group of students a prompt: Say you're happily married ten years from now, and you meet someone else who you are sure will give you the most, passionate, intense love for the rest of your life. Do you leave your spouse? Brooke had been the first to raise her hand (a first for her), and she'd said proudly, "No. Once you're married, it's final. There's no going back on vows." Well, if High School Brooke were to look at Married Brooke's life, she'd certainly be disappointed.

Perhaps it was too late, though. She was already pregnant, already sure it was Nathan's child. They'd practiced unsafe sex several times, while she and Lucas hadn't even once. It was so stupid now; one of those things that made you hate yourself when you realized how dumb you'd been.

She wasn't sure if she regretted what had happened between her and Nathan, but she certainly regretted the circumstances they'd happened under. Months of lying and deceit, and her and Lucas' marriage would never again be the same.

The door was pushed open, and she smiled at the sight of her husband, dressed in a plain white t-shirt, red Nike shorts, and sneakers. "Hi sweetie," she smiled.

Things were slowly returning to normal for them. Well, things would never again be completely normal, but they were as good as could be in the situation. Lucas was ecstatic because of her pregnancy; it was honestly, for him, the best thing that could have happened in their marriage.

"Hey. I was just going to go to the gym for a couple of hours. I'm getting kind of out of shape." As he said this, she turned to look at him, smiling involuntarily.

"Yeah, you're really out of shape." She rolled her eyes, laughing lightly as she said it. If Lucas went for more than one week without exercise, he complained he was gaining weight or losing suppleness.

"Will you be okay without me?" Lucas' eyes went straight to her stomach.

"I think I'll manage." Brooke teased.

He nodded, taking a few steps backwards. "I'm just going to run there, so if you need the car…"

She advanced towards him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and leaning up to place a kiss on his lips. His eyes never left hers, and he squeezed her tightly. "I'll see you when you get back." She whispered, filling him with a sense of hope so deep, he was sure he'd skip to the gym.

The second the door closed behind her husband, the smile dropped from Brooke's face, and she fell backwards onto the bed. This was good; her not being selfish. Wasn't it?

--

This was not how she'd expected the party to be. Her thinking was naïve, considering this was a ninth grader's party, but still.. She hadn't expected them to have to play this stupid game.

Seven minutes in heaven? More like seven minutes of utter and complete hell. Not to mention the waiting was getting ridiculous. Could the bottle hurry up and land on her so she could just get it over with?

It was like someone in heaven had definitely heard her, because in a few seconds, the bottle slowly came to a halt in front of her. She gulped, her thirteen-year old self not quite ready for this moment.

When she looked up, her eyes widened at the person before her. An equally nervous and scrawny-looking Nathan Scott was looking just as freaked out as she was as he pulled himself to his feet. Peyton released an agitated sigh from beside her - she herself had been eyeing Nathan for weeks - and Brooke tried to ignore her as she followed in Nathan's footsteps towards the closet.

The door closed mysteriously behind them and they were left only to each other and the darkness.

She'd grown up with Nathan Scott, but he still wasn't exactly someone she'd call a friend. Sure, they ran in the same circles and generally hung out with each other, but that was the extent of it. She felt weird being in here with him

At the middle school, he was popular and confident. Cocky even. He roamed the halls and flirted with girls and looked… well, really cute. Either way, he was usually kind of full in herself, and she generally didn't like that trait in boys. In here, he was quiet and she wasn't really sure, but it seemed like he was acting squeamish.

She didn't realize until now that she'd been closing her eyes. Opening them slowly, she allowed them to adjust to the darkness before she sighed loudly. "So, are you going to kiss me or what?"

He grunted. "Yeah, it's just… where the hell are you? It's so dark in here, I can't even see."

She took a step forward and they were very close now. He held onto her arms and she squeezed her eyes shut once more, waiting.

When his lips did not reach hers in a few moments, she opened her eyes again, slightly annoyed. "You know, I've done this before, okay?" She lied.

"Yeah, okay, so have I." He was clearly lying as well.

"Okay, so then do it."

"Alright. Get off my back for a second."

When he leaned down this time, their lips almost brushing, she pulled away. "Okay, I haven't done this before."

"Brooke-"

"I'm sorry! Just don't tell anyone, okay? We'll…" She trailed off, not really sure what to say to make the situation better.

"I haven't done this before either." He admitted quietly.

"Well, maybe that's a good thing. Neither of us will judge, we'll justhelp each other improve."

Nathan seemed to nod through the darkness. "Okay, good idea."

"Okay," she sighed.

"No one ever has to know that neither of us…"

"Exactly."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Okay, good."

"Yup."

He took a hesitant step towards her, pulling her closely and running his fingers through her hair. He couldn't help himself; it always looked so silky. Finally, after a few moments, he lowered his lips to hers.

She'd never forget it. The shuffling as he lowered himself; the knowing. That soon his lips would be on hers and she knew it was coming. As his lips pressed into hers she felt confused and opened her mouth as the only way she felt she could respond.

Their lips locked messily and it would probably take a long time for them to get the hang of it. Their chance was missed as the door burst open, cheering students on the other side.

Brooke and Nathan eyed each other, a secret forming between them. They would keep this between them forever, even if a situation presented itself where it'd be okay to talk about it; they just wouldn't.

She swallowed down the sparks from his lips with a bit of whiskey offered to her by an older person, and liked it so much that she continued to do so.

Nathan looked up at the large house with what could only be explained as a look. There were so many emotions running through him, even he wasn't sure what he was conveying or even should convey.

He was really doing this. He was really going to walk in there and talk to her about this. Talking had never been easy for them; they were all about the passion and the laughter. When it came time to be serious, he found himself so insecure with Brooke that wasn't sure what to do with himself. She was the only person who'd ever understood him, and he wasn't even sure she knew it.

They hadn't been the closest friends in high school. But they'd respected each other, and there had been a bond neither of them could explain; they always wound up the same. The party would end, and they'd be the last ones there; it'd be game night, and they'd be the first ones there. He'd always cared for Brooke, even if she'd acted stupid or shallow, because he'd always known that they were two of a kind. They were the same.

Blindly, he pushed the large front door open.

"Brooke?" Nathan called out. He figured Lucas wouldn't be there. After all, the guy spent most of his time working or working out. This was really more of a blind hope, and he mentally scolded himself for not working out an excuse as to why he'd be visiting if Lucaswas there.

Her face appeared from atop the stairs, bare of makeup and still gorgeous as ever. "Hi," she spoke timidly. "Come up."

Her tone worried him. He absolutely hated it when he could not read her.

The walk up the stairs seemed to take years, and he felt himself begin to sweat as he reached her and Lucas' room. He pushed the door open, so unsure of himself, he was beginning to regret coming here in the first place.

Brooke sat on the bed, tears already filling her eyes. This would not be good; he was sure of that much. Either way this conversation could go, they needed to talk.

He shuffled in, dark eyes staring her down so that she felt obligated to speak.

"What are you doing here?"

Nathan laughed, shocked that these were the first words to leave her mouth. "Seriously?"

"Nathan--"

"This baby's mine, isn't it?" He said, blurting out the words he'd been planning to say after a long speech. It was funny in a way, because he could not remember a word of that speech now.

"We really don't know that, Nathan--" She started.

"Don't lie to me!" He felt himself begin to grow upset, hands clenching at his sides. "How many times did you and Lucas not use a condom?"

Whatever Brooke said was inaudible, and his patience was beginning to fail him. There was no way she would deny this fact to him. "I can't hear you. Speak up!" He demanded.

"Never! God, it's never happened, okay? Are you happy now?"

"Yeah, I'm really happy." He deadpanned, no humor evident in his face or voice or body language.

"Nathan, this is-- you can't be here, okay? You need to go home."

"Brooke," he shook his head. "We're having a baby."

"No, we're not!" She snapped. This was the reaction she'd hoped for the least, surprisingly.

"Brooke, come on--"

"Nathan," she begged with her eyes, feeling the moisture begin to build inside them. "Please don't do this. Not right now. I can't handle it."

"Run away with me." He couldn't believe the words as they left his mouth. This had not been his plan when he'd first decided to come over here. But it was like hearing her admit this had shifted something inside him.

She could not even reply, so stunned was she by this suggestion.

"Brooke," he advanced the bed, dropping to his knees and pulling her hands into his own, squeezing them softly. "Run away with me."

"Right," she laughed, "and where would we go?"

"It doesn't matter."

"And how would we live? What would we live off?" She demanded, leaning forward. This was a joke; there was no way this would ever work. She hadn't even let herself begin to consider this option, and she would not start now.

"We'll make it work." He insisted.

"No, no, no…" Brooke was shaking her head, and he could feel her slipping even farther out of his grasp.

"I could, I'll take care of us. I'll get a job, once we're out of here. I'll do anything we need to do, Brooke. I'll take care of everything--"

"No," she pushed him away, standing up. "Nathan, this is crazy! We can't run away!"

"I love you," he pleaded. "I love you, Brooke, and I know you love me too! Please, we'll have this baby together somewhere else--"

"Nathan, stop it!" She screamed, emotion filling her voice, allowing it to raise a higher octave than she was used to. "You can't support us! You're having a hard time even supporting yourself!"

"I'll, I'll be better. I promise. We can make this work, Brooke. I can'tbe here anymore and not be with you"

"Don't say that!" She cried, "don't say things like that to me! This was our mistake and now we have to move on." Brooke felt her knees begin to tremble. She was sure she would pass out at any moment.

"We aren't a mistake, and you know that." His voice lowered to a surprisingly calm level.

"This is bad," Brooke shook her head. "This is really bad. Do you realize what we've done?"

"So tell him!"

"I can't do that to him!" She was shaking, he was shaking, the room seemed to be shaking with their booming voices.

"Oh, but you could do this to me."

"Nathan--"

"Please. I'm going to ask you again. Just… just leave with me. We'll get out of here. We'll start over. We can still be happy, Brooke. We still have a chance."

As much as she wanted to believe him - hell, as much as she wanted to be happy… she couldn't do this anymore. She could not put her desires before other people; people she loved. She was subconsciously hurting everyone around her, and even if they didn't know it yet, they were sure to figure it out at some point.

"I can't, I'm sorry." She shrugged, tears streaming down her face, leaving dark trails of mascara as they went.

His eyes began to fill as well, and she wasn't sure she'd ever seen Nathan Scott looking so vulnerable before in his life. "Please," he said softly. "I want to be with you. I need you."

She shook her head, sniffling. "I just can't be this terrible person anymore. What we've done - I mean, do you realize the extent of everything we've done? If anyone ever finds out, our lives will be ruined."

Nathan snorted. "What lives? I don't even have a life, Brooke. I don't know if you've noticed."

"I can't bring this child into this world, Nathan. I can't. I won't. Because this isn't even about me anymore. Everything has to be about this baby."

Tears began to slide down his own cheeks. He was having trouble breathing. "I, I understand that."

"We should have never done this." She sighed.

"I don't regret it. Not even a little bit." He told her. He didn't quite realize how hard he was making this for her; how much it was hurting her. Perhaps it was the same for her; she did not realize how much she was killing Nathan.

"I'm so, so sorry, Nathan."

"Well, that really fixes nothing so I think I'm gonna-"

Brooke grabbed his arms, shaking him. "No, please. Don't leave like this. Just listen to me! I can't keep hurting Lucas. He's been so good to me, Nathan. And he wants this baby more than anything in the world. I couldn't run away with you because I'd never forgive myself for leaving him behind. And if we were gone, he would not only have lost his wife and his brother, but he would have always felt that betrayal for what we did to him, too. And I don't want to bring a child up on the run! And I don't want to alter everyone's lives drastically just so we can be happy. It's not right."

"You know what's not right? Pretending like this child belongs to Lucas when we both know it's mine."

She lowered her head in shame. "I know, but--"

"I mean, what are you going to do when Lucas sees this thing and notices that it has none of his features? When it has my eyes or lips. What will you do then?"

"I don't know, okay? I don't know! But--"

"And you think this is really being a morally good person? You're just lying even more.."

"You're right. There's absolutely no way out of this mess. But you know what? I need to do what I feel is right. I've thought this over so much it's made me sick. I can deal with eternal suffering if it means that Lucas and this baby will be happy for the rest of my life. Right now, that's all that matters to me."

Nathan took a few steps backwards, nodding. "So I guess this is it for us."

"This is it." She whispered, suddenly fearing what her life would become without Nathan there beside her. He'd grown to become her best friend, the only person that knew all her secrets.

He pulled her close, bumping their foreheads together. Her arms laced tightly around his neck, and they stood crying together for not long enough. He wanted to grieve with her forever.

"Goodbye, Brooke."

"Bye Nathan."

She watched him leave and felt a chunk of her heart break. She felt another part of her body begin to become numb, and slowly and surely she was realizing just how much less and less she was beginning to feel altogether.

Nathan sighed loudly, rubbing his hands over his eyes, then through his short hair. "Hey, can I get another beer?"

The bartender frowned but slid another one over to him. He caught it easily, chugging it backwards. He just didn't understand why Haley had to make such a big deal out of this; it wasn't like he'd had pictures of him and Peyton having sex on the computer. Because while that would be bad, he really didn't see a problem with this.

The sound of the chair beside him scraping backwards disturbed him from his thoughts, and he heard the vaguely familiar voice order a whiskey. Wait, that voice sounded a little more than vaguely familiar… it actually sounded exactly like--

"Brooke?" He said aloud, feeling slightly stupid afterwards when she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, hi, Nathan. Glad to see you've finally joined us."

"Sorry," he grumbled. "I was preoccupied."

She nodded. "Looks like it. I haven't seen you in one of these places in… oh, that's right, never. Shouldn't you be at some party I wasn't invited to?"

He scoffed, feeling light-headed suddenly. He'd had about five beers now. Or was it six? "Shouldn't you be bringing psycho girls to this imaginary party you speak of and getting me thrown in jail?"

"Touché." She raised her arms in the air, then went to sip at her already empty drink.

"I'll get another," she ordered. "And give him another beer."

"Hey," Nathan slurred. "Isn't the guy supposed to buy the girl the drink?"

She smirked. "Well, this isn't a date, so no rules apply."

"Right, because I'm dating Haley." He explained to the bartender who clearly had no interest in the situation whatsoever.

"Oh," Brooke chortled. "You're drunk! This is a nice change."

"I'm not drunk. I'm just proud of my relationship with Haley." He was sort of blabbing, and not even really making sense to himself.

"You are most definitely drunk. What's the matter? Trouble in paradise?" She pried, edging slightly closer to him.

"We're fine, Brooke. Damn, put some ice on it."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, don't sound so excited about it." He frowned.

Brooke grinned. "So you are fighting? What's the problem? Tutor Girl still won't put out?"

Nathan groaned. "God, she found some pictures of Peyton on my computer, okay?"

"Gross, Nate. I didn't know you were still into Peyton." He was surprised she was so comfortably speaking of the other girl. Didn't they hate each other? He mildly remembered seeing them laughing in practice earlier, but he guessed it hadn't really registered until that moment.

"I'm not. They're old and Haley's a snoop."

"Like Snoop Dog?" She was getting drunk too. This should be interesting.

"No, Brooke! Not like Snoop Dog."

"Oh, so like Snoopy?"

"Stop. Hey, aren't you and Peyton not friends?" Way to throw it in there casually, Nate. Bonus points.

Brooke waved a hand, downing her third whiskey. "Whatever. I'm over drama."

He guffawed. "Okay, and I'm quitting the team."

"I better be going. Speaking of Goldilocks, we actually have plans." She stood, checking her cell phone for the time.

"And you're showing up drunk?"

"You know," Brooke mock mused, "I think, in my drunken stupor, I'll mention your little porno stash of her."

He gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"Start being nicer, maybe I won't have to!"

"I'm sure Haley's told her anyway." He shrugged.

"Oh yeah, that's a good conversation starter. 'So my boyfriend has naked pictures of you on his computer. Cool, huh?' Get real, Nathan."

He laughed. "Okay, I can't deal with this right now. Bye, Brooke."

She began to walk away, then stopped, slowly retreating. "Look, I'm not… I'm not like, a fan of Haley or whatever, but," she sighed, "but I think that she's probably insecure about your relationship, considering who you are and who she is."

"That's crazy," he pinched his face. "She's amazing."

Brooke nodded. "Maybe, but you're experienced and Greek-God like and you intimidate her. She just needs to know that you want her back, that you need her.."

"I do!"

"So show her. Every girl just wants someone that'll want them back, Nate." And she began to walk away, stopped this time by the sound of Nathan's voice.

"I'm sorry about the thing with Lucas."

"I'm over it." She shrugged.

"Yeah, but it's his loss, anyway. He'll realize it sooner or later." Nathan offered a smile, and she smiled back.

"Well, I'll be seeing you."

"I guess so."

She left and he couldn't help but smile softly. Brooke Davis was one of his oldest friends, and though they weren't all that close, he knew that she'd always be there.

They'd always be the two left behind at the bar, while everyone moved on around them.