Chapter 11
The moment when his hands leave the handlebar of the trapeze is one of the best parts. In that moment he is flying, he's really free, and he relishes the feeling. The very best part, however, is when he's reached the highest point of his upward arc, the critical moment in his flight when his body needs to curl in on itself to execute the somersault. The rush of adrenaline is amazing, at its highest level right then, it's the moment he lives for every night.
Then his hands grab the waiting handlebar of the next trapeze and the feeling of ultimate freedom lessens – being on the trapeze itself is a type of freedom in itself but being in the air with nothing to hold him up, really and truly flying, that's the ultimate freedom. He uses the momentum from his double somersault (the quadruple comes later) to send the trapeze forward and lets go again to land on the platform next to his mother.
As always, for a moment he is mesmerized by the sight of his mother. She's so beautiful in her Flying Grayson's costume but it's the look she gives him every time he comes off the trapeze that really mesmerizes him; a look of pure love and adoration for her son. He had missed that look so much, he had no idea how he had gone so long without it. Then her gaze shifts to his father's graceful form swinging across the trapeze with liquid movements, and the spell is broken. He moves in to give his mother a quick hug and then moves aside as she readies herself to join his father for their last duet part of the performance before he joins them both for the grand finale of their performance.
He watches with baited breath as his mother jumps off the platform and lands in his father's waiting hands. This part of the show always scares him, he's so sure that the moment his father catches his mother the sound of their hands and forearms colliding will be followed by an awful snap, a horrified scream and the sickening thud-crunch of their bodies hitting the floor, but it doesn't happen. His parents carry on with their duet, their lines didn't snap, everything's okay for another night, and he lets out the breath he had been holding.
He spends the next five minutes watching his parents in awe, as he does every night. Watching his parents perform separately is amazing, both of them move with such grace and ease, it's impossible not to be mesmerized by either of them when they perform separately, but when the perform together well, that's something else entirely. Their movements are always perfectly synchronized; it's like watching a major ballet in the air with two dancers playing all the characters perfectly. Watching them perform is awe-inspiring, but besides that watching them makes you feel happy because they radiate this wonderful feeling of joy when they perform and it's a feeling you just can't help being affected by.
Then they both swing up to the platform and stand beside their son, they don't even sound out of breath. As Pop Haley begins announcing their final act his father pulls him in close for a one-armed hug and his mother joins the hug on the other side of him.
"You ready, son?" his father asks.
He grins at his father, "When am I never not ready, dad?" he asks, rolling his eyes dramatically.
His father chuckles and ruffles his hair, "That's my boy." He says as he lets go and prepares to step off the platform once again.
His mom squeezes him tight one more time as Pop Haley tells the crowd that this stunt requires a great deal of concentration and asks for them to keep silent. It's not true of course, they could do their entire routine with their eyes closed next to a busy highway and not be distracted, but telling the audience otherwise was good for dramatic effect. As a result of Pop Haley's warning the tent is almost completely silent as his father jumps of the platform and swings himself over to the opposite side of the trapeze. His mother follows soon after. She joins his father on the same trapeze, his father his hanging upside down from his knees and his mother stands on the bar between his knees.
Dick takes a deep breath before taking a running leap off the platform. His hands connect with the waiting bar and he once again uses his momentum to move the swing forward. He uses his body to swing the trapeze backwards and forwards a few times, he needs to get the swing up to its highest point for this trick. It takes a few swings but finally he reaches the right height. He lets the swing carry him downward and back one more time and takes another deep breath as it starts bringing him forward again, hurtling him upwards to that critical point. He closes his eyes as he nears it, letting instincts take over. His eyes stay closed as his hands leave the bar, as he sails upwards, as he reaches the highest point of his arc and curls up, as he executes all four rotations with flawless precision and only open again as his hands collide with his father's waiting hands and the crowd roars in appreciation. There's nothing better than the moment when he looks up into his father's eyes and sees undeniable love and pride gleaming in them.
After the show his mother goes to the trailer to prepare a late dinner and Dick and his father stay behind to help with the clean-up. When they finally get back to the trailer he notices that his mother has put on the dress she wears before and after the show on gala evenings and has set out an extra plate on their little dining table.
"Mom?" he asks, "Is someone joining us for dinner?"
It's a stupid question because obviously someone is joining them, and most probably someone important.
"Yes, dear," she says, "A very special person is joining us tonight, so please go get cleaned up and wear something nice, alright?"
"Okay mom," he says as he starts making his way to the back of the trailer, "Who's coming, though?" he asks, unable to contain his curiosity.
"You'll see soon enough." She answers, "Now don't take too long to get ready, your father also needs to get ready."
"Yes mom," he says.
He doesn't miss the sad glance that passes between his parents before he pulls the curtain closed and starts cleaning up.
When he comes out a few minutes later dressed in jeans and a light blue dress shirt – the outfit he wears before and after shows on gala evenings – he begins to help his mother with the finishing touches for the dinner. She's really gone all out tonight – pork chops with crab-stuffed mushrooms and sauerkraut with wine for the adults and some juice for Dick – and he wonders again who could possibly be joining them for dinner. He also notices that she seems sad about something, almost as if she's fighting back tears. That puts him on edge.
"Mom, what's wrong?" he asks.
She seems startled by the question, "Nothing, sweetheart, why would you think something's wrong?"
"You look like you're about to cry." He points out bluntly.
"Oh," she scoffs weakly, "I'm just tired, sweetie, don't you worry about me."
Dick can tell she's not telling him everything but he leaves it, if she doesn't want to tell him what's bothering her she probably has a good reason.
There's a knock on the door just as he's dad comes out, also dressed in his gala evening outfit. His dad moves to the door and invites the person who had knocked in. It's a tall man dressed in black, he has dark hair and blue eyes and Dick recognizes him immediately as Bruce Wayne, the billionaire playboy of Gotham city.
His mother smile's at Bruce and invites him to sit down. No introductions are made, it seems like everyone already knows one another. It's as they're eating dinner that things seem to fall in place for Dick and he suddenly understands why his mother had seemed so sad before Bruce had come, why she still seemed to be on the verge of tears even as she laughed at something funny that his father had said. It was time for Dick to leave.
He'd been expecting this of course, he'd known from the moment he'd woken up in this perfect world where his parents still lived and they performed together on the trapeze every night as a family as they would have done had Tony Zucko never come into their lives. He just hadn't caught on with what was happening earlier because he had been expecting to be jerked out of this world by having to witness their deaths again, he hadn't been expecting this gentle of a call back to reality.
It came all too soon, the moment when Bruce got up and said that they couldn't stay any longer, that it was time for them to leave. That was when his mother actually started crying. It was a sight that tore Dick's heart apart and suddenly he didn't want to leave. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with his parents, happy and safe. He didn't want to go back to the white hell he had left behind when he had come here.
His mother seemed to read his thoughts though and she smiled through the tears as she cupped his face.
"It's safe for you to go back now, sweetheart, Bruce wouldn't have come for you if it wasn't." she told him, her voice surprisingly strong and even.
"But… I want to stay here… with you." Dick's voice had broken on the last word and suddenly he was crying too, "I missed you s-so much…I don't want to lose you again."
His mother pulled him into a tight embrace and his father joined them as Dick cried into his mother's chest.
"It's alright, Dick," his father told him, cupping the back of his head with a strong hand, "You know we're never far away."
He could feel his mother nodding in agreement, "Your father's right, sweetheart, we'll always be with you, in your heart and in your memories."
She pulled away from him and pushed him away a little so she could look in his eyes, "And if ever you miss us, all you have to do is close your eyes and come for a visit."
His father smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "We're only a dream, Dick, you know that, but the best thing about a dream is that once you figure out how you can always return to it."
Dick was still crying but he nodded and smiled at them. All he wanted to do was go back into their embrace but he knew that if he did he would never be able to leave.
He glanced back at Bruce and saw the silent tears streaming down the usually stoic face and suddenly knew that he couldn't stay with his parents. Bruce needed him more than they did.
He looked back at his parents to say goodbye to them. Tears still streamed down his mother's face but she was looking at him in exactly the same way that she did whenever he came off the trapeze, with that perfect mixture of pride and adoration. His father's face mirrored his mother's and Dick knew everything would be alright so long as he remembered those looks on their faces.
When he turned again he found Batman waiting for him in Bruce's place, he looked down and saw that he was now dressed as Robin and he grinned. He walked over to the Dark Knight and as one they pulled out their grappling guns, turned to face the outside world, shot out their lines and flew out into the dark. Dick didn't look back once.