Mary was back to studying the map again. This time to find a place to go. She knew the moment this was over, whether Francis lived or died, she needed to be gone. Catherine would never relent. She would never be safe from her here. As her eyes rolled over the map, they landed the château Francis had planned for them to go to together and a single tear rolled down her face.
"If you keep staring at it like that you'll bore a hole through the table." Catherine said from the doorway. Mary wiped the tear from her face as she looked up.
"What have you come to scold me over now? Haven't you covered everything yet?" Mary asked.
"Nothing just yet. There's news, from Scotland." She informed.
"More news...so soon? How?" Mary asked.
"Let's just say I have my ways." Catherine didn't want to tell her she'd gotten it from Narcisse. She'd never trust it.
"I suppose it would be to much to expect it be good news." She said.
"The English have allied themselves with the Scottish protestants in order to drive our soldiers out. Your Mother surrendered. They've neutralized the Auld Alliance...and the English are coming for us." Mary turned her head.
"Oh God." She breathed.
"It's time for you to make a decision. Conde or Francis. You can't have it both ways. If you waver the whole country will see you as weak. Easily swayed. They will use it as a tool to destroy us. With the King ill, France needs a strong Queen to keep it stable in his place. Stay and help me save France, or leave now, name me as regent in your stead and go. Whatever you choose, make it your final decision and stop playing with people's hearts." She said sternly.
"It's not that simple." Said Mary.
"It is that simple. If you love Francis at all, even if it's not the same as before, even if it's just the smallest amount of caring. You will stay and help us to keep your cousin from seizing France. You owe him that much." Catherine explained.
"You don't understand..." Mary began.
"Don't understand what? And please don't tell me you love them both. I don't need to hear that nonsense again." Catherine said, referring to the last time she had to make a choice.
"It's not that. How I feel about either of them has nothing to do with it." Mary said.
"Then please enlighten me." Catherine encouraged.
"Louis has gotten a marriage proposal from Elizabeth. He turned her down, but only because of his feelings for me...If I leave him..." she informed.
"He'll marry Elizabeth. Making her claim to power that much stronger." She clarified.
"There will be nothing stopping her then. If she is brazen enough to attack us now, what will she be willing to do with the security of a husband at her side?" Mary said.
"So this is all about keeping him from Elizabeth?" Catherine inquired. Mary was quiet and didn't look Catherine in the face. "Do you still love Francis?"
"That doesn't matter now. Feelings are not important when an entire country is at stake." Mary said.
"It does matter. I need to know the truth. More importantly, you need to know the truth, because I don't think you do. Because you have have pushed yourself so hard into making things a certain way, you're starting to believe your own lies."
"Catherine..."
"Make a decision Mary. Figure out where your heart lies and where your allegiance lies. They don't have to be the same, but you do have to know the difference between them." Catherine started to walk away when the little voice in her head reminded her that Mary needed safety now. She turned back around. "If you choose Conde I won't stop you, as long as you secure things here first, but if you want to stay, then we will find a way of stopping Elizabeth...together. Don't let fear make your decision for you."
Mary waited until Catherine left and then broke into tears. And here she was again. Catherine had given her the freedom to follow her heart once more. She'd somehow always been able to find a way to make everything sound so simple. Like the answer had been there all along. Maybe it was. After the tears subsided, she made her way to see Conde.
"Mary." He said as she opened his door. "Has something happened?...Francis?"
"Francis's condition hasn't changed. That isn't why I'm here. I've made a decision." She said.
"About what exactly?" He asked.
"There's rumors coming in that England is set to attack us as soon as they are done driving our army out of Scotland. With Francis being ill, and without a Queen, France will crumble under the pressure...I cannot leave with you."
"I understand, it will be Harder for us if we stay, but there isn't..."
"You can't stay here either." She interjected.
"What do you mean? I thought..."
"I need to be seen as strong and unfaltering in my allegiance. I have to make my people believe that I am fighting for them and not running away with my tail between my legs. I can no longer be the Queen without a country." She needed to get it all out before he started to try and talk her out of it.
"I understand if you're afraid..."
"I am afraid. Afraid that I have made a terrible mess of everything."
"Mary..."
"The decision is made. You have until nightfall to gather your things and leave. It's over." She said and then left without giving him a chance to answer her.
As the night started to creep in, Conde was filling a carriage with his belongings.
"You called for me?" Mary said coming up behind him.
"I did. I hoped perhaps the sight of me leaving would be enough to dissuade you from this decision you've made." He said.
"It hasn't. This is what must be done. You would do right to stop questioning me." She started to walk away.
"So that's it then, did you ever really care about me, or were you just using to hide from your pain?" He said. She did not answer him. She did not turn around. She kept going forward, keeping her tears away with sheer willpower. As she went to go back in, there was Catherine, standing in the doorway. She looked at Conde getting into the carriage and then back at Mary. She knew what was happening. They stared at each other for a moment, eyes meeting in understanding. No words needed to be spoken. Mary hadn't made a choice, because there had never really been another option. It was all in her head. Francis was her only choice.
...Mary opened Francis's door. She slowly went to his side and sat on the bed. She took his hand and started to cry.
"I'm so sorry." She struggled through the tears. She laid down on the bed next to him and cried herself to sleep.
A short time later Catherine came in to find Mary still asleep. She swallowed her emotions the sight. She thought about leaving, but she was so drained. She just wanted this all to end. She pulled a blanket over Mary and walked to the other side of the bed. She kissed his forehead and then sat in a chair and and put her hand over theirs. She knew this was far from over, but at least now she could finally let her worry fall where it should be. With her son. The rest she would leave for tomorrow. Then she fell asleep as well, the three of their hands linked together.