The next morning, Catherine awoke with Mary still laying on her shoulder. She carefully slid out from under her, pulled the blanket up over her and tip toed out of the room. She needed to get changed and then go and find Bash. She wanted him to take her to where Clarissa was buried. She needed to say goodbye, even if she never really got a chance to know her, her guilt was eating her up. She needed closure.
A short while later, Mary woke, looking around the room for Catherine. When she didn't find her, she got dressed and went to see Francis again. She thought perhaps this time she could muster the strength to talk with him.
She peered into his room to see if he was awake. He looked up when he noticed her at the door.
"I hope I'm not bothering you." She said.
"It's alright. Come in." He said.
"I just...We didn't speak yesterday and I...I wanted you to know Condé is gone. It's over between us. Completely. I know it's a small condolence, and I don't expect your forgiveness any time soon, but I need you to know how sorry I am. That I wish I could take it all back." She said, trying to fight back tears.
"I am I supposed to feel sorry for you?" He said weakly.
"No. I just needed to understand that. To know my intentions were never to hurt you. I know that sounds ridiculous considering what I've done, but somehow in my mind, I was saving you." She said.
"Saving me?" He said in awe of her answer. "You can't be serious?"
"I thought you would be happier without me. Without what happened to me always looming over us. I tried to get you to let us live separate lives, but you didn't want to, so I thought if I..." her voice started cracking with emotions "And then I just kept telling myself that I loved him and that it was the right thing to do. I had this idea set in my head...but I was wrong, it was all wrong."
"I want to be able to forgive you. I just don't know if I can. How can I forgive you if can't trust you?" He said.
"I don't know." She said simply, trying to fight the tears.
After she sat with Francis awhile longer, silently, she told him he needed his rest and she left. She went to see Catherine, but when she got there, she was leaving her room in a rush. She was wearing her riding cloak.
"You're going somewhere?" She asked. "Is now really the best time to leave the castle?"
"Probably not, but there's something I have to do." Catherine answered as she walked past her. Mary followed behind.
"What could possibly be so important?" Mary asked. Catherine looked around to make sure no one was listening.
"If you must know, Bash is taking me to Clarissa's grave. If she can't have a proper funeral, the least I could do is say some words for her." She said and then started walking faster. Mary grabbed her arm to stop her.
"What is it? Bash is waiting. I don't want anyone to see us." She said as she stopped walking.
"Would it be alright if I came with you?" Mary asked. "I'd like to say my piece as well." Catherine nodded.
"Alright, but be quick about it." She answered.
"Let me just grab my cloak." She said and started off toward her room.
On their way to the stables, they passed some rose bushes.
"Wait." Mary said.
"What now?" She questioned. Mary pulled out a knife and cut off some roses.
"Something to leave for her." She said holding out the flowers. Catherine half smiled and took Mary's hand, urging her to move on.
When they got to the stables, Mary attached the flowers to the horse's saddle as she watched Catherine and Bash talk. She noticed how oddly comfortable the two seemed to be with each other. 'When did that happen?' She thought.
"I looks like we're sharing a horse." Catherine said as she turned back to her. Mary nodded and mounted the horse then put out her hand to help Catherine up behind her.
They stopped a few yards short of the grave and Bash tied up the horses. He pounded a cross into the dirt and walked back and waited by them.
"I'm sorry about Clarissa. I know you never knew her, but it must still be hard to lose her." Mary said. She saw the sadness on her face. "Maybe even harder because of it."
"I'll never forgive myself for causing her to have to live the life she did." Catherine said.
"Henry would have killed you both if he'd known. It was the only thing you could do." Mary said.
"Was it?" Catherine asked, knowing that that it wasn't and Mary was only trying to ease her guilt. Mary had no answer for her so she simply held her hand for a moment. A tear fell from her eye and Mary squeezed her hand.
"I'll give you a few moments." Mary said and went back to Bash. Catherine knelt down and touched the cross.
"I hope wherever you are, you can hear me. I know I was the worst mother in the world to you for the short time I knew you were mine, but I need you to know that I did love you. I'm so sorry." She whispered as another tear dropped and fell onto the grave. She wiped her eyes and stood, then made a move to join Mary on the horse. Bash stopped her and made her share his horse instead, explaining that the horse was too small for two and that it had been struggling on the way there.
When they arrived back at the castle, a guard was waiting for them and he told Mary that there where nobles that wanted to speak with her urgently. She made up a lie about where they'd been and hurried inside, not waiting for Catherine.
She'd spent hours talking to the nobles. When she finally emerged from the throne room it was already getting dark. She went to Catherine's room and she wasn't there. Then she bumped into one of her ladies on the way out.
"Have you seen Catherine?" She asked her.
"No your majesty. She went out riding this afternoon and hasn't come back." She said.
"Thank you." She said. The lady nodded and walked away. 'Hasn't come back?' She thought 'That doesn't make sense.'
She was just about to leave when Narcisse showed up.
"I thought I told you to stay away from Catherine." Mary said sternly.
"I was only passing by. Am I not allowed to walk down the hallway either?" He said.
"Are you going to pretend you haven't done something?" She said.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about?" He said.
"Catherine is missing. If you hurt her..." Mary started.
"Missing?" He questioned. Mary could see the surprise on his face and realized she'd made a mistake.
"You didn't know?" She asked.
"No." He said looking suspicious. Mary hoped she hadn't let slip something she shouldn't have. "I could help find her..."
"No!" She said. "If you had nothing to do with it, then surely I was just overreacting. She probably just lost track of time." She tried to act as though she wasn't worried. She walked away and went to one of her guards. She sent him looking for Catherine.
'Where could she be?' She wondered, hoping something terrible hadn't happened.