A Matter of the Heart
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki
Part Four-Toxic
Charlie ran a hand through his greying hair as he looked at his daughter and Jacob sitting together on the sofa in front of him. He was at a loss what to say. How had Jake even got to his house in the middle of the night? He was only partially clothed and was wearing no shoes. At first Charlie had expected to see his clothes scattered on the floor, but there was no sign of any. It really did seem as if Billy's son had turned up at his house in the middle of the night wearing only a pair of cut off sweats.
"Dad, I know what this looks like…" Bella began when her father didn't say anything. He was staring at them intently as if trying to work out an unsolvable puzzle.
"You know, Bella. I have no idea what this is." Charlie gestured between the two of them. His eyes travelled to Jake, who was holding onto Bella's hand as if she was suddenly going to disappear right before his eyes. His agitation was obvious, and from the way Bella was nervously fidgeting it looked like Jake's anxieties were infecting her as well. This intensity between them was doing neither of them any good. "How did you get here, Jake?" Charlie asked him. "I didn't hear any car and why are you only half dressed? It's freezing out there."
"I walked." Jake mumbled, averting his eyes from the older man and looking at his bare feet which were covered in dirt.
"You walked from La Push in the middle of the night? Do you even realise how crazy that sounds?" Charlie was incredulous. "Why on earth would you do that?"
"I needed to see Bella." Jake closed his eyes briefly as he clutched Bella's hand tighter. He was angry at himself that he hadn't heard Charlie get up. He had been so focused on Bella, her smell, the look in her eyes and the way she so nearly came to kissing him. It must have been Cullen's hideous ring hitting the wall that disturbed Bella's father.
"To see Bella? You could have called, or waited until the next day." Charlie shook his head in disbelief. "What was so urgent that it couldn't wait?" He demanded. Jacob's explanation defied belief.
"Dad, please. Hasn't Jake been through enough?" Bella begged. She could feel Jake beginning to shake slightly and she was worried that he was losing control over himself.
Charlie sat in his recliner. He really didn't know how to deal with this. One thing that was blatantly obvious was how unhealthy this friendship or whatever it was had become between his daughter and Jake. It wasn't just him that thought so, Sue and Billy did too. They were toxic together. With Bella engaged and about to marry another man, it had dragged Jake down. The boy's feelings were obvious. He was deeply in love with Bella, perhaps she loved Jake too in her own way, but being in his life one moment and then running off to Cullen was doing Jake no good. They needed to be separated.
"I'm sorry, Charlie." Jake apologised as he exchanged a glance with Bella. He was having trouble reading the older man and was beginning to get ever more anxious. There was no reasonable excuse he could make without sounding crazy. He hoped that by saying sorry it would deflect Charlie's irritation and hopefully persuade him to let it go.
Charlie studied him intently for a moment. Jake looked so much older than his years. He was seventeen now, but could easily pass for twenty five. He was so tall and muscular. Charlie knew for a fact Jake didn't work out, there were no weights in his house, and he had often wondered lately whether he could be taking steroids. That would explain the mood swings. His friends were just as big built as he was; perhaps it was a group thing. Charlie had been meaning to bring it up with Billy, but his sudden collapse had made it impossible. "You've put me in an impossible situation, Jake." Charlie finally said. "You are like family to me, you know that. Which means I worry about you as much as Bella."
Jake swallowed thickly and increased his tight hold on Bella's hand. He could feel her stroking the sensitive skin on his arm and it calmed him a little. He could see that Charlie noticed too, and it seemed to make him even more worried. "I know that, and I'm grateful. Life has been tough lately. I've missed Bella….you're right though I should have waited."
"I don't like doing this son." Charlie stood and picked up the keys to his cruiser which were lying in a dish on the table. "But I am going to take you back to Sue's. I think it would be best if you both stayed away from each other for a while…." He put up his hand when Jake and Bella began to protest. "Billy thinks it's best too." He pointed out.
"When was this discussed?" Jake's anger began to boil over. He stood up too, dragging Bella up with him as he still had a tight grip on her hand.
"Jake, please calm down." Bella paled as she noticed the slight tremor in his arm. He was losing control again. Running as a wolf for so long seemed to have had a knock on effect on his ability to keep his wolf at bay. Any little thing was setting him off.
Unaware of his daughter's worries, Charlie stood his ground. "We didn't come to this decision lightly, but we had quite a good discussion earlier tonight. Billy is very concerned about you, Jake. Running away like that really scared your father. He didn't know where you were. I put up missing posters everywhere dammit. This can't happen again. Your dad's health is at stake here." He took in a deep breath to calm his own temper. "I understand how you feel about Bells…" He saw Jake glance at his daughter, there was fear in his dark eyes, which only confirmed Charlie's suspicions that this relationship between them was very unhealthy. "But for all intents and purposes she is engaged, and this is what sent you running in the first place. That has not changed as far as I am aware…" He turned his attention to Bella who had gone completely white. "Bella?"
"I don't know anything. I need to speak to Edward. I don't…Jake?" Bella felt the tremors rippling through his arm and into her as she mentioned Edward's name. The hurt and anxiety on his face was heart breaking to see, and she could see that Charlie noticed too. She had done this to him. She should never have come to the hospital to see him. It was the worst thing she could have done. It had made it all that much harder, and shoved them back into the same cycle of hope and rejection. Bella sensed her father's regrets too. It had been his silent urging that had made her ditch her wedding to support Jake.
"Jake." Charlie said warily as he saw Bella wince. Jake's hold had increased on her hand and he was hurting her with his strong grip. "Let Bella go."
Jake suddenly seemed aware of what he had done. He dropped Bella's hand and stepped away from her, his face stricken. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He begged her to forgive him with his eyes.
Bella felt his pain. She couldn't stand it, couldn't bear for him to feel so much unhappiness. "No, I'm the one who's sorry." She flung herself bodily at him and wrapped her thin arms around him, trying to say with her touch what she couldn't put into words.
Charlie was stunned as he watched Jacob wrap his strong arms around her and hide his face in the crook of her neck. They both fell to their knees and began to cry.
Charlie was sitting at the table, the local paper in his hand as he pretended to read it. He took a sip of his black coffee and glanced at the clock. It was now six am. He hadn't slept at all, not since he had witnessed the breakdown between his daughter and Jake. They had cried for a long time, both of them holding onto each other for dear life. Charlie had just watched the helplessly, unable to decide whether to intervene or leave them alone. In the end he had decided on the latter. He had walked out of the room quietly and come into the kitchen. This was something private between them; he didn't know what it meant, or what was going to happen now. Perhaps it was their last heart-breaking goodbye. He didn't know. It had been hard to witness, and quite frankly scared the crap out of him. He had never loved that deeply. He had been upset when Renee took off, but nothing like what he had seen between Jake and Bella. They had eventually fallen asleep where they had fallen, encased in each other's arms.
Bella was the first to wake; she came into the kitchen to find Charlie sitting at the table, a resigned look on his face. Her eyes were red rimmed from all the crying and her head was aching. "I've just boiled the kettle if you want to make a coffee." Charlie said softly.
"Thank you." Bella turned toward the counter and made her coffee in contemplative silence. She then pulled out a chair and sat opposite her father, her hands wrapped around the hot mug of coffee. "I'm sorry about last night. I…" She shrugged helplessly.
"Jake still asleep?" Charlie asked as he shook his paper and folded it up.
"Yes. He's tuckered out." Bella sipped her coffee. The warm liquid felt soothing as it slid down her throat.
"Bella, do you love Jake?" Charlie's blunt question took her by surprise and she raised her head and stared at him, unable to answer for a moment. "Well do you?"
"Yes." Bella's voice was faint as she clutched the mug tightly. She was surprised it didn't shatter in her hands.
"And you love him too?" Even now Charlie couldn't say Edward's name. He kept his brown eyes trained on his daughter. He saw the guilt cloud her face and he sighed heavily. "Jake is young, Bella. You all are. This three way situation cannot go on. You have to let Jake go for good. Keeping him close when he wants so much more is killing him."
A single tear rolled down Bella's face as two red spots burned on her cheeks. "I miss him." She whispered. "I feel torn in half; I feel…I feel…"
"Bells." Charlie put his hand over hers. "Why on earth are you getting married when you are this conflicted? I thought you knew what you wanted, but after seeing you and Jake together, I can see I had it all wrong."
More tears leaked out of Bella's already sore eyes. "I thought I had it all worked out. I was so sure…but now Jake's back, I don't know. I don't know anything." She laughed bitterly. "I always thought it was only possible to love one person."
Charlie frowned. "You mean that you think you are in love with both?" His harsh tone startled Bella and she flinched. "That's utter bullshit, kiddo. You can desire both but not love." He stood up and threw the rest of his coffee in the sink. "Like I said, Bells, cut Jake loose. What you are doing isn't fair to him or to you. It will kill you both in the end and I don't want to see either of you suffer anymore." He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to take a shower." He left the room silently leaving Bella feeling perplexed and a little frightened.
The journey to the hospital was made in silence. Charlie drove the cruiser while Bella and Jake sat in the back. Jake was leaning his head on Bella's shoulder and had his eyes closed. Charlie couldn't tell what he was thinking. As for Bella she was staring out of the window, her brow was furrowed as if she was trying to see her future in the glass.
A/N-thank you for reading!