A Matter of the Heart
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.
A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki
Part Nine-Anchor in a Storm
Jake and Bella broke apart a little breathless and dazed. It was only then that they realised they had attracted an audience. They had both forgotten they were in the middle of a crowded street. Bella blushed scarlet and clapped a hand over her mouth, while Jake just laughed. He grinned, grabbing her hand to pull her into a little side turning. There were less people there, only one or two drifting by on their way to the next part of the festival. Jake gently pushed Bella so her back was against the wall and cupped her face in his hands. Her skin was extra warm from her blushing, and he couldn't get over how cute she looked. He leaned close, his mouth just millimetres from hers. "Say it again." He whispered.
"I love you." Bella was captivated by the expression on his face, mesmerised in fact. Her senses were still reeling from the sheer intensity of their last kiss and the feelings it had invoked inside her own body, feelings she couldn't really explain. His fingers touched her lips gently, exploring the curve of her pout. He was so warm. She felt the heat trails as his fingers left her lips and began to touch her face all over as if he was a blind person trying to imprint on his brain what she looked like forever. "Jake?"
"I can't believe this is really happening." Jake choked out. He shook a little with the force of his emotions. He rested his forehead against hers as his fingers continued on their journey around her face. "I keep thinking this is some kind of cruel dream, and that I'm going to wake up and find I'm still running as a wolf, and you are getting married."
His words sobered Bella up. The reminder that she was still officially engaged to another made guilt swamp her again. Her previous exhilaration drained away as the import of what she had done became clear. She had betrayed Edward, cheated on him for want of a better word. But even though she felt ashamed, it wasn't enough for her to take back her admission of love for this vulnerable boy in front of her, because in that moment she could see how easy it would be to crush Jake. He was placing his trust in her not to hurt him again. The trust was fragile and could be easily broken if she wasn't careful. Bella was determined not to break him for a second time, because if it happened, even through no fault of her own, then it could break them both.
"We're really here, Jake. I promise. I'm here." Her breath washed over him and Jake dropped his head onto her shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent, as if he trusted his other senses and not his eyes to confirm what she said was true. "I love you." Bella murmured again. She reached up and sank one hand into his hair, it had grown longer and the ends brushed against the collar of his shirt. "I love you." She repeated again.
"Don't leave me, Bella. Not again. Stay with me." Jake then mumbled something in his own language, it was the same words he had uttered before, when he had first tried to kiss her in the kitchen before Alice came back and dragged her away to Italy. Bella now guessed it was an echo of what he had said in English.
"I'm not going to go." Bella brushed her mouth across his slightly and he groaned as he suddenly pressed his mouth hard on hers, and kissed her with a fierce intensity, as if he was claiming her once and for all as his own. The same sparks rippled across Bella's skin and immediately she felt as if her whole body was on fire. She pressed herself willingly against him, her nails digging into his broad shoulders as he crushed her to him.
Jake continued to mumble in Quileute as his mouth left hers and he kissed his way down her neck, his tongue gently teasing her skin. Bella clutched at his shoulders, her sensitive skin going into overdrive. It was all so overwhelming, the heat, the sensations pouring through her body, the feel of him pressed against her, his attraction to her blatantly obvious. Bella gasped for breath, her eyes flaring open suddenly when she heard someone clear their throat behind them. Over Jake's shoulder she saw a police officer glaring at them in disgust. Jake was still kissing the base of her throat seemingly unaware that they had company. Once again they had become so lost in each other that it had made them unaware of others around them. Bella pushed on his chest and he pulled back, his dark eyes alight with desire. She pointed wordlessly behind them, causing Jake to growl low in his chest as he tried to get his raging hormones under control.
"There is a time and a place for this." The officer warned them. "But in the middle of a festival, where there are young families around is not one of them."
He sounded so much like Charlie that it made Bella wince. It could have been her own father if the circumstances were reversed. It felt like she had just had a bucket of cold water chucked over her. Jake took her hand and squeezed it comfortingly. "We're sorry." Jake apologised, his voice was still thick with passion and this seemed to amuse the officer.
"Get your horny asses out of here." He waved them away. "I catch you again and I'll have you arrested under the public decency act."
Bella flushed a dull red as she mumbled her own apologies. She stumbled after Jake as he led her back out into the light and mingled once again with the crowds.
"That was so embarrassing." Bella chucked the key card onto the dresser and fell back onto the bed. Her hair fanned around her like a silky pillow as she stared at the ceiling.
"But very enjoyable." Jake sat beside her and looked down into her eyes. The smile faded from his face as he studied her carefully. "What happens now, Bells?" He asked.
Bella sat up again. She hated hearing the anxiety in his voice. Yes they had shared a passionate make out session, but underneath he was still obviously struggling to trust in her again. That was going to take time, she knew that. The vulnerability she had witnessed before was still there. "Right now, I'm going to take a shower and wash up so we can get something to eat…tomorrow, well it means going home and facing everyone."
"I don't want to go home." Jake turned away from her and stared at his hands which were placed in his lap. "Once you see him again…" He didn't say anymore.
Bella put a tentative hand on his shoulder but he got up abruptly and headed for the en-suite. "I'll have the first shower if you don't mind." He muttered. He closed the door behind him firmly before Bella could reply.
They avoided the dining hall and went out to get some pizza so they could eat in their room. The night was drawing in and the crowds had lessened. They walked back to their room in companionable silence, both of them deep in thought. Jake used the card key to open the door, but before they could go inside they were hailed by one of the staff. He was the assistant manager or so his name tagged claimed. "May I have a word?" He asked as he approached.
Bella and Jake exchanged a worried glance. "Is there a problem?" Jake took Bella's hand and laced his fingers tightly with hers.
"I take it you are Miss, Swan. Miss Isabella Swan?" The assistant manager lingered over the word Miss as if it was a dirty word.
Bella clutched Jake's hand tighter. "Yes." A sense of foreboding washed over her and she sensed that somehow Edward was behind it.
"Um…this is awkward, but I received a phone call from a Master Edward Cullen. He proclaims to be your fiancé…" He paused and took a step back when he saw Jake's face darken. "He enquired whether you were alone, and of course we don't reveal our guests personal details, but as the credit you used to purchase this suite for the night was paid for by him, well we were forced to tell him that you had a gentleman friend staying with you as he threatened to cancel the payment…."
"And?" Jake snapped, his body was beginning to shake. Fucking leech, always in the way. Cullen had done this on purpose. He couldn't get there himself in such a short space of time but he would make sure in any way that he could to stop Jake and Bella sharing a room now he knew their exact location. Jake felt Bella put her other hand on his arm and rub his skin gently as she tried to soothe him with her touch. He couldn't phase in the hallway, although he very much wanted to. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
The assistant manager looked very uncomfortable. Jake towered above him, and with his bulging muscles and his intimidating glare it was enough to frighten anyone. "Um…he specifically warned us that you are a particularly vulnerable young lady and that your companion might not be the best influence on you." He addressed Bella directly. "And as such if we had reason to doubt…." He hesitated as he looked at Jake nervously. "We were to contact the authorities."
"Give me the key card, Jake." Bella held out her hand. Jake placed it in her open palm as he watched her carefully. He couldn't speak he was so fucking angry. He didn't trust himself to deal with the situation and so he left it to her. Bella passed it to the confused assistant manager. "Give us a few minutes to collect our things and we will be on our way." She stated coldly.
The assistant manager tugged at his collar. "The room is still paid for. You can stay but…."
"If Jake goes I go." Bella began to head into the room. "If Master Cullen calls again…" Her eyes narrowed. "Tell him…tell him we're done. He'll understand." She turned away abruptly, and with Jake following close behind her she shut the door in the astonished manager's face.
Jake was surprised the steering wheel didn't come apart in his hands, he was that angry. His control was being tested to the limit, and he knew that as soon as they managed to reach an area where there was some kind of tree cover, then he would need to phase. His wolf was clawing at his chest. He saw Bella dart him anxious glances as he drove, he was pushing the old truck to its limits, the engine protested all the way. However Bella knew him well enough not to force him to talk when he was like this. He needed to cool down on his own. After another five miles of intense silence, Jake finally pulled over. He switched off the engine. "I'm sorry… I have to." He shot Bella a pleading glance before climbing out of the truck and heading for the trees.
Bella settled down in her seat to wait. Like Jake she was mad. The fury ran through her veins, making perspiration bead on her forehead. She couldn't conceive why Edward would have done such a thing. Yes, she had guessed he would try and track her down once he knew her location, but to place a call to the hotel and effectively tell the staff that Jake was a danger to her, and that she herself was a vulnerable individual made her blood boil. He had really overstepped the mark. She had forgiven him so many times in the past when he had tried to control her. There was the truck incident where he had tampered with the engine to stop her going to see Jake. There were the constant lies or in his mind twisted versions of the truth all in the name of keeping her safe from harm. But really when it came down to it, all the times she had been placed in danger was because of him and his actions. Jake had only ever kept her safe, Edward did the opposite. It had been because of his actions which had sparked off the whole James and Victoria nightmare, it had been his selfish need to be a martyr which had forced her hand and caused her to flee to Italy, literally leading her right into the lion's den. The fateful party where Jasper had attacked her had been arranged by him, even though she had specifically told him she didn't want one.
Bella's mind was in turmoil as she waited for Jake to return. It was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes as she forced herself to confront the sad truth. She had allowed her own vanity to cloud her good judgement. She couldn't deny the fact that her fragile ego had been stroked when the mysterious Edward Cullen took notice of her. It made her feel special and important; especially when it turned out he craved not just her but her blood as well. Seeing Edward fight so hard to control his addiction just so he could be around her, made her think that they were fated to be together. Why else would he bother fighting his true nature so hard?
But as time had gone on and she became more involved in his life, she had begun to lose all semblance of her own. Bella now realised she had become isolated from her friends, her father and anyone else who meant something to her. Edward became her whole world, and when he had abandoned her it had left her like a broken mannequin. All her avenues of support had gone and she was left alone to flounder until Jake came into her life and started to put back together what Edward had broken.
All these revelations were hard to face and by the time Jake returned from his long run, he found Bella sitting in the cab, her face white and tears streaming from her eyes. Guilt consumed him as he assumed it was his need to take off for a while that had upset her. He pulled her into his strong arms and rocked her a little. "I'm sorry, honey." He pressed his lips into her hair.
"No, I'm sorry." Bella sobbed against his chest. "I'm sorry for being so stupid, for being so blind. I'm sorry that my inability to see the truth hurt you. Please forgive me?"
"Hush." Jake murmured as he cradled her in his strong arms, always her anchor in a storm.
A/N-thanks for reading!