"Where do we go from here?" Lee asked the next morning during their free period, holding up the quill that the twins had stolen during their first detention.
George opened his mouth to reply, but before he could get a word out, Fred cut him off, "No. I don't want to hear anything about going to Mortor or killing Queen-Witches."
"It's Mordor, there a D in it, I'll have you know." George said indignatly, "Also, it's the Witch-King. If you're going to insult the books, insult them properly, atleast."
"No! It doeesn't affect me, I don't care!"
"You would make a really good hobbit, you know."
"George, if you say anything more on the subject, I'll take this Puking Pastille and..."
"Okay, okay, but you have only yourself to blame." George said, holding his hands up in an offer of truce, "What I was going to say was that we need to find a way to get Umbridge out of her office for a while so we can find the quill she's using and transfigure the Detention Quilll to look just like it and swap them!"
"This is where I come in." Lee said happily, "I mean, I can provide the distraction, and you two can do the switching."
"Great, so how are we going to create the distraction? Our fireworks aren't ready..." Fred said.
The three of them fell silent for a long while. George picked up his book again while Lee flipped through the Quibbler, hoping to come across inspiration. Fred stared at the wall as if it held all the answers.
"I still can't believe Harry agreed to do this interview." Lee mumbled as he began reading the interview for the fourth time. There was a loud crash as Fred jumped to his feet. Lee blinked and said, "Okay...what have I said this time?"
"That's it!" Fred exclaimed, pointing to the Quibbler. Upon seeing the confusion on both George and Lee's faces, he elaborated, "Think about it. Umbridge banned the Quibbler, didn't she? What if Lee 'finds' a Quibbler and shows it to Umbridge?!"
"How would that solve anything?" George asked.
Fred sighed and said, "Use you're brain, George. Think about it. What if that Quibbler said 'Property of Draco Malfoy' in big bold letters across the inner page? What if Lee showed it to her, and she saw who it 'belonged' to? She would have to go hunt down Malfoy, then yell at him for a while, maybe humiliate him in front of other Slytherins..."
"I see where you're going with this!" George said happily, "First she'd have to find him, and if he was located in the Slytherin Common Room which is in the Dungeons..."
"Exactly!" Fred said, "It would take her a while and give us plenty of time to do what we need then get out of there."
"Why don't we ask Harry if we can borrow the Marauder's Map?" Lee suggested, "The whole thing would go off more smoothly if we knew where everyone was. I mean, do we really want Snape walking in on all this? If he sees me..."
"He'll know right away something's up. But will he care? That's the real question." George said, dismissing such a minor detail. It was common knowledge that most people hated Professor Umbridge, including McGonagall and Snape.
"There are a few more problems." Lee said, falling once again into the role of The Voice of Reason, "Wouldn't Draco be able to deny that the Quibbler was his if the handwriting is off?"
"That's why we steal an essay from him and ask Dean Thomas to forge his signature. You know, 5th year kid who's really good at drawing?" Fred answered as if he'd already given this much thought.
"I can indeed see that working, though we'd probably have to give him a free Skiving Snackbox or something..." George grumbled.
"Wait!" Lee said, "You're forgetting, what if she starts going back to her office before you two are finished? I'm not sure how to get a patronus to do that speaking thing..."
"Us either..." Fred said, suddenly looking crestfallen at this flaw.
"Patronus? Hah! All we need it to ask Harry for his D.A. galleon. Lee, you could use it and change the date and time to make it grow hot, and we'll know--" George began.
"But that wouldn't work! I mean, isn't it just a bit suspicious if I pull out a galleon and start tinkering with it? Someone's bound to see, then the D.A.'s just been given away." Lee disagreed regretfully. There was a long pause while Fred and George thought hard on how to solve their problem and Lee wished that he had some muggle bugging devices to use. The thought of muggle electronics brought up some old scrap of history he remembered about the Aztecs, "What if we had a system of runners?" he asked.
"I don't know...How many people would we need?" Fred wondered, "I don't think that would work. Ron, Ginny, Harry, Angelina, Katie, Alicia...I guess others in the D.A., but the more people who know..."
"The more chance we'll be given away." George agreed, "I think that maybe..."
"...We ought to just wing it." Fred finished. He paused then said, "What if we asked Ron if we could borrow Pig? He's convieniently small and fits in a pocket!"
"But can he outfly Umbridge walking?" George countered, then answered himself, "Yes, he probably could. Wouldn't Ron get suspicious, though? I mean, he and Harry and Hermione are always snooping around looking for a new mystery."
"Oh, right. Then we'd have those three on our case and following us around, which could lead to future complications..." Fred noted, "Well...damn. Guess we'll just have to go with what we're given, then."
"Alright. Do you think she'll be able to link this back to us?" Lee pondered.
"Even if she can, she can't do anything without evidance. We have that argument against her." Fred said grimly, "I can just imagine it now...she's dragged us in front of Dumbledore screeching about how we should be expelled, and then we can say 'But professor, you don't have any evidance that it was us! Surely you can't believe something if you don't have proof.'"
George smirked and said, "I think that would get us off the hook, after all, Dumbledore would probably take our side. I would take our side."
"Of course you would." Fred said, "Anyway, tomarrow, I say we get the essay from Malfoy, and Dean Thomas to forge it onto my copy of the Quibbler."
"We won't be needing the Marauder's Map, then?" Lee asked.
"Nah. As useful as it can be, I don't think it could serve much purpose without some sort of messaging system. We'll improvise as we go along" George said.
"Sounds like a plan to me."
The next day just after breakfast the twins and Lee hid behind the corner to the charms corridor. They had found out that the fifth year Slytherins came to Charms on Wednesday mornings using their good friends' connections with the prefects of other Houses. Now they stood waiting for Malfoy to pass by in the crowded area so they "accidently" diffendo his bag open and summon one of his essays. They would then use Gemio to copy the essay. Next, they would use a banishing charm and send the copy essay back to the irked Malfoy, knowing it might vanish within a couple of hours. What? No one said they had to be nice about stealing his signature...
And so the three stayed there for the next five minutes, recieving odd looks from many people who decided to take that corridor to class. When Malfoy finally went by, they began their opperation.
"Diffendo!" Lee whipspered as he pointed his wand at Draco's bag. Success! It split!
"Accio Malfoy's Potions and Charms homework!" Fred hissed, his wand pointed at the mess of parchment, ink, and books on the floor. He caught the homeworks and handed them to his twin who quickly made copies. Quickly, he handed the real homeworks back to Fred, then used a silent banishing charm to send the copies back to Malfoy. George jabbed his wand just a bit much so that the homeworks bounced off the back of Malfoy's head rather than land neatly behind him. Way to go, George.
Though, neither Fred, nor George, had seen this, as they had begun running the moment George had banished the homeworks, Lee had paused to make sure everything went smoothly before bolting to catch up with his friends. When he caught up with them, they had already come to a halt in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, they were all out of breath and laughing. It took a while, but when they had managed to control their laughter, Lee gave the password so they could get into the Common Room and wait until before dinner to intercept Dean as he headed to the Great Hall. Until that time, however, they had nothing much to do except sit around and play games.
"I think that proves that I am the best spell caster." George commented as he flopped down in one of the chairs.
"What makes you say that?" Fred asked, as he, too, took a seat.
"You two had to speak your spells, mine was all nonverbal." George said proudly.
"Yeah, but you hit Malfoy in the back of the head with the parchment rather than letting it land beside him." said Lee.
"Excellent. Just what I meant to do." George replied.
"I'm sure it was." Lee had no doubt that George was telling the truth. He noticed both twins getting to their feet, and asked, "Where are you two going?"
"We're off to find Ron's broomstick--" Fred began.
"--So we can steal it and play some Quidditch--" George continued.
"--While Umbridge is busy with her classes--" Fred said.
"--and we won't get into trouble." George finished.
"We might take Ginny's as well, just so we can both fly at the same time." Fred added as an afterthought.
"Right. That makes plenty of sense." Lee commented, also standing now. The three of them went out through the portrait, disturbing the snoozing Fat Lady and causing her to grumble a bit. This reminded Lee of how Fred had taken Malfoy's potions essay as well, and so asked, "How come you took his potions homework? I thought we agreed on just charms...?"
"He's Snape's favourite student, I want to know how Snape reacts when he doesn't have his homework." Fred told him.
"This brings about the question of why does he even have it with him? I thought they had potions with Gryffindors, and that's not until Monday..." George pondered aloud.
"Well, I shall leave you lads to figure it out." Lee announced. "I am going to go see if I can find Angelina and get help on the Herbology essay."
"Herbology essay, right, I'll pretend to believe that." Fred scoffed while George sent him a dubious look, "Just make sure you meet us at the Entrance Hall before dinner."
"Yes, mum, I'll be sure to meet you there." Lee said as he left for the Library, the most obvious place to look for someone doing their homework. So far everything was going perfectly.
When Lee met up with the twins again just 10 minutes before dinner, he found them both looking windswept and happier than they had been since being banned from Quidditch. Together, the three of them stood aside near the staircase, pretending that they were waiting for their siblings so they could return the brooms which had so carelessly been left out after the last practise. Fortunatly, no one questioned their presense and their wait was not long. That was, however, where fate decided to end their good luck. As Dean came down the stairs, they noticed with dismay that he was surrounded by all the rest of the Gryffindor fifth years, including Ron, who would most certainly recognize his broomstick.
And, of course, as the most observant of the group, Hermione was the first to notice the three, and the broomsticks in the twins' hands. "What are you three waiting for? And why do you have a broom, Fred? And you, George?"
"Is that my broom?" Ron demanded, right on que.
"Yeah, borrowed it, felt like playing some Quidditch during my freetime." Fred said smoothly as he threw the broomstick at his kid brother.
"Wouldn't you get in trouble for that?" Harry asked.
"That's why we did it when Umbridge had class." George said, rolling his eyes. He looked at Dean and said, "Well, anyway, we're waiting for Dean, actually. Heard you say something about wanting to be Chaser during the last D.A. meeting?" This wasn't a lie, as it was true they had heard him talking about how he would like to play Chaser and compair it to the position of foreward in soccer.
"Uh...yeah. Why?" Dean asked cautiously, quite aware of who he was talking to.
"Well, Alicia and Angelina are leaving next year, aren't they? Katie will probably be the new Captain, concidering how she'll be the senior player on the team, and she'll be needing two Chasers..." George began.
"Isn't that cheating?" Lavender asked while at the same time Ron exclaimed, "So you'll tell him how to get on the team?! But you wouldn't tell--"
"Quiet, Ronnie, you're on the team, so stop complaining." Fred said, ignoring Lavender.
"Well, what say you? Want some hints? Just sit with us a dinner tonight. We usually sit with Katie, anyway." George told him.
He discreetly motioned to Lee and Fred to turn with him, and the three of them began to walk away. They only got a couple of yards away from the fifth years before Dean caught up with them, very eager to hear the tips he thought they would provide. The rest of the group continued on to the Great Hall, deciding to ignore all that had been said. They were all of the same opinion that it was just a little suspicious that the twins wanted to talk to Dean, but they also thought it was a little unfair if Fred and George had been telling the truth.
As Lee watched the younger teens pass, he couldn't feel prouder at his friends' abilities when it came to lying. Clearly, sometimes improvision can be the simplist and most effective strategy. Together Lee, Fred, George, and Dean entered the Great Hall and took their seats at the Gryffindor Table. George had the forethought to hide the broom under the table so that none of the teachers would notice it. Unfortunatly Ginny hadn't come along so he couldn't give it to her; it was lucky, however, that the three Chasers weren't already there.
"Alright, Thomas, we won't lie to you, we lied to you." Fred said, choosing to just get to the point before he had to fib some more. He didn't feel like making a web of lies that he would have to unravel later.
"Wh...what? So, you separated me from all of them to talk to me about something?" Dean asked, "Well, whatever it is, I swear, I only like Ginny as a friend!"
Fred and George had nothing to say to this random outburst and Lee had a time trying to stop himself from laughing at the fifth year's terrified face. George was the first to recover from shock and said, "What we were going to talk to you about has nothing to do with Ginny, although..."
"...We can easily change that if you like." Fred finished.
"Oh! No, let's not?" Dean said, looking slightly relieved yet still a little scared.
"Anyway, we need to ask you a favor, actually." Lee told him, attempting to redirect the conversation.
"A favor? What is it that all you need?" Now Dean just looked suspicious.
Leaning foreward and lowering his voice so he could hardly be heard, Fred whispered, "We need you to forge Draco Malfoy's signature onto a copy of the Quibbler for us."
"It'll be much help to us if you would be so willing as to try." George commented.
"What will I get in return and how will I forge it? Have you a copy of his signature?" Dean demanded.
"Of course we have his signature. We stole a copy of his Potions homework. We'll offer that and a free Skiving Snackbox of your choice in payment for helping us out." George said, hoping this would be enough.
"Well...I have been having a hard time in Potions lately, and Malfoy passes well enough. A Skiving Snackbox, you say? I could turn in the essay then get out of Potions..." Dean smilied happily, "I'll take your offer. Fanting Fancies or Nosebleed Nouguet, if you've got them."
"Excellent." Lee said, "We have everything ready up in the Common Room, so come and get us a little later, preferably when the most insquisitive of your year aren't looking."
Dean nodded then said, "So can I go join them now? Not that I don't like you guys but..."
"Sure, sure, go ahead. Pretend we gave you some secrets, too, just to annoy Ron. Oh, and tell him that he and Ginny need to come get their brooms for practise before we get into trouble." Fred told him, then waved his hand to show that Dean was dismissed. Dean nodded then got up and rejoined his classmates.
"Well, I'd say that went off well." George commented as he grabbed some chicken. Just then Angelina, Katie, and Alicia came over and the six began talking about all matters from the next D.A. meeting to who they thought was most likely to take the Quidditch Cup. Fred, George, and Lee didn't quite have their minds on the subjects at hand and were rather thinking about the next move they had to make. Once they had the Quibbler signed, all that was left was to bait Umbridge and switch the quills. The fanale was approaching at long last.
A/N *Got nothing clever for you this time...*
So. Here we go, chapter four! One last chapter and the story is done.
Will the twins and Lee be successful? We shall see. We shall see.
Anyway: Gist of the A/N:
Same as the last 3 chapters.
Let me know how you feel.