After purchasing some clothes that were made for men, Mary and Gandalf walked to the shire. All the residents smiled at Mary, because she was gorgeous, before they noticed the Wizards presence, and then shot off.
They finally reached the destination, which, at first glance, looked to be a hill, with a round, green door. On a bench sat a short, large footed midget, smoking a ridiculously large pipe.
Gandalf smiled, and turned one of his smoke rings into a dragon (a dragon made of smoke, that is), that flew into the poor creatures nose. He seemed to fall out of a reverie, opening his eyes, shaking his head. He then seemed to fall back into a reverie, when he saw how how incredibly beautiful Mary was. Mary had been turned into an elf, as you may remember, and the sunlight now shone on her pale skin, and her dark hair now reached passed her waist, with no split ends. The hobbit then ignored the wizard who towered over him, and called to Mary a cheerful "Good morning!" Gandalf frowned.
But then, the Wizards eyes twinkled, and he said, "What do you mean, good morning? Do you mean to wish me good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I like it or not, or that you feel good on this morning, or that it is a morning to be good on?" The short creature (whose name is obviously Bilbo), looked shocked, and quite irritated.
Mary blocked out the rest of the conversation, wondering why the two young men shot off. She reached to tuck a strand of midnight black hair behind her ear, and realized it was pointed! She remembered the conversation from earlier-
'It is an elf!' The blonde had said. Wow, she was an elf! She rather would have been a human, because she thought elves were prissy, but she was so mature, she decided to think about the task at hand,which was getting the hobbit to come. Never mind, he just ran into his house.
Gandalf looked pleased, as if he wanted the hobbit to run inside.
"I will now inform the others," he said.
"What others?" Asked Mary wondering if the dreamy- no, the dark haired dwarf was to be included.
"You shall see," said the Wizard. His twinkling eyes seemed to hold a knowledge that she wanted desperately to hold and kiss the dwarf prince, under the light of the moon.
Mary and Gandalf wandered around the shire, waiting for the rest of the company to arrive. Gandalf told Mary to wait in a tree, a few feet from where he now stood. Sure enough, the dwarves arrived. Mary climbed down the tree branches silently. None of the dwarves noticed her presence. Gandalf pointed in the direction of Bilbo's house, and told them to go there.
After they left, Gandalf told Mary to put on the cloak she purchased, and to tell them she was a ranger.
Mary now stood by Bilbo's house, with several dwarves. They were not aware that Gandalf had another member of the company.
After the fussy midget let them in, Mary was courteously led to the main room. Bilbo had told her he recognized her divine presence beneath her cloak.
As she was led, she saw the dark haired dwarf. She sighed.
Ten minutes later found her sitting awkwardly, with the dwarves all finally wondering what she was doing in the house. They never had, up until this point, wondered why a 'ranger' was in Bilbo's house.
Balin eyed Mary up and down.
"What brings you here, lad?" He asked.
Mary shifted uncomfortably. Just then, the handsome dwarves came from the front entrance.
"One of my knives are missing! I curse everyone in here!" Whined Fíli. The handsome dark haired dwarf rolled his eyes.
Mary sat up to leave, when she heard Bilbo losing patience with Gandalf. Ori stood up, and followed the noise, his plate in hand.
Not even a minute after Ori left, the dwarves began singing. This was their song-
'Blunt the knives, bend the forks, smash the bottles and burn the corks, chip the glasses and crack the plates... That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth, tread on the fat, leave the bones on the bedroom mat. Pour the milk on the pantry floor... Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole, when you're finished, if they are whole... Send them down the hall to roll! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!'
The merriment ceased when three very loud knocks crashed on the door. Gandalf looked grave.
"He is here."
A/N: I know, not very funny. Still, I'm doing this off an iPhone. That is amazing. I give thanks to Borys, Lavendercrystalofroses, and Katzztar. And my older brother who posted this for me. When Thorin is in the house, things will get better.