Author's note: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE 5 MONTH DELAY. Turns out the last few months of high school you have to dedicate yourselves to studying or some shiz like that haha. I actually got a great score for my finals along with a scholarship to my first preference university! Woohoo! And I went to Schoolies! (Americans - it's like your Springbreak ;)
Hopefully there are still some people out there who like this fic, and want to continue reading it. I promise I will be making more frequent updates and I thank everyone for all their reviews so far and the PM's. I gotta tell you my heart skips a beat when I see that I have a new private message *blush*
So this chapter is actually dedicated to the talented apples-a-day, because we made a promise that we would both update for the holidays but was a little late, SORRY! :( And I didn't realise that she'd updated because I haven't been on for a couple of weeks and I feel so bad, but it's finally here!
Btw her story, 'Such A Heavenly View' is an epic romance-mystery-drama all-in-all fantastic fic, which you should all check out :D
Everyone get your popcorn out and enjoy! (hopefully) :)
Escort Services - Hide and Puke
"This makes my ass look fat."
Emma frowned, glancing up and down at the full-length reflection of herself. The iconic blood red blouse owned by Regina Mills rested comfortably on her torso. She rested her hands on her hips and did a full 360 turn, with the dark coloured pencil skirt gripping tightly on her lower half.
"I better start doing squats..." She pondered for a moment before a shit-eating grin broke out on her face. "Yeah, fuck that." She laughed. My girlfriend's just really petite, yeah, that's it. And I'm...a little less petite. "I thought having a girlfriend would mean that we could do swapsies with clothing...damn." That ain't gonna happen now, unless I give up McDonald's? Emma laughed hard this time. Nope, I don't wanna be too drastic.
In all honestly, Emma wasn't trying on Regina's clothes for the fun of it. Well okay maybe that's not all true, but she wouldn't be in this position in the first place if the people at the airport didn't lose her luggage. Luckily, they would send her suitcase to her hotel if they found it, so they didn't have to wonder around the airport. So about an hour later, once Emma had regained her voice back from the verbal assault she hurled towards the person behind the information desk, the pair of them took a cab to the Flamingo hotel - where they would be staying for the night. That is, if they are still sober enough to get back to the hotel, after all the next celebration was on tonight at MGM Grand and Emma had a feeling that she was going to wake up tomorrow in a heap of debt. She also hoped her suitcase would arrive soon, otherwise she would turn into The Hulk in a matter of time. Currently, she had no clothes besides what she was wearing on the plane and since Regina took a little trip to the gym, Emma opted to try on a few pieces of her clothing.
The blonde shrugged on a blazer and snorted at her mirror image.
"I'm Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke. You don't know what I'm capable of." Emma mocked her girlfriend's tone, with hands on her hips.
"That skirt is a little tight, don't you think?"
Emma spun around to meet the smirk plastered on the brunette's face.
"I work out!" Emma rebutted.
Regina raised an eyebrow.
"On the odd occasion."
The mayor's eyes ran up and down the blonde's figure. Regina would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that Emma looked incredibly breath-taking in her clothing. It was such a turn on.
Regina cleared her throat, feeling slightly flushed by the sight. She sauntered towards the blonde, a slick layer of sweat covered her skin, emphasising her toned arms and abdominal muscles through her black tank top.
"I received a call from the airport, they have found your suitcase and its currently on its way here."
Emma sighed in content, "Thank god!" She shrugged the blouse off before glimpsing at the brunette's retreating figure towards the bathroom. "So how was your workout? Burn anything?" She smirked.
Regina turned around with a raised eyebrow, "I believe I burned off more calories in the last hour than you would in an entire year."
"Hey! I'm not that unfit. Besides wouldn't exercising be a lot more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"
Regina didn't respond as she went to take a shower, but Emma swore she heard the brunette mutter, "Oh my god, I am dating a child."
Emma held in a chuckle before eyeing her appearance again, "Maybe a should just do a couple of squats a day?…Yeah." She concluded. The blonde heard the shower running and an idea popped into her head.
"Oh honey, would you like some company?"
…
Anyone who had ever been to MGM Grand knew that the hotel was a renowned and prominent holder for a variety of functions in Las Vegas. Emma was immediately taken aback by the place in the best way possible. Regina even had to pick up her own jaw several times as they strolled through the hotel while passing casinos and other function rooms. For this occasion Emma had decided to wear her black one-shoulder strap dress that fitted her figure perfectly, stopping just above her knees. Her hair was tied up in a high pony-tail with a few errand locks. Regina had also opted for a black figure-hugging dress that outlined her remarkable physique, which had two straps and showed minimal cleavage much to her liking.
It was a warm night in Las Vegas, Nevada. The footpaths and bridges along the Las Vegas Strip was packed with people, almost over-crowded. There were the usual individuals situated along the side walks wearing inappropriate t-shits, while handing out palm-sized cards with semi-nude women imprinted on them. Emma chuckled at the sight. This place hadn't changed at all. Traffic was still immensely annoying with taxi's being hailed every few seconds to drive home inebriated individuals. Luckily for Emma and Regina they were within walking distance of MGM Grand. While they pushed and squeezed past people Regina couldn't help but stare unimpressively at the young women who were extremely intoxicated.
"Do women have any class these days?" Regina yelled over the loud music projected from the Hard Rock Cafe.
"Class? Hell to the fucking no. This is Vegas, from 10pm to 6am all you'll see is people throwing up their guts on the sidewalk."
"That's disgusting, Emma."
Emma glanced sideways at the brunette and said, "I know...It's a thousand times worse when someone throws up on you after you've thrown up." She mumbled the last part of the sentence under her breath.
"Hmm?"
"Oh nothing. I said nothing." Emma placed her hand on the brunette's lower back, ushering her through the mass of people in front of them.
"Do you reckon we'll end up playing strip poker?" The blonde asked curiously.
"I certainly hope not."
"Damn."
Regina quirked an eyebrow at the blonde who immediately said, "Just kidding. I would only play strip poker if it were just the two of us."
The brunette smirked, "Now that would be interesting, dear."
Emma grinned and quickly tugged her girlfriend to the side of the path and kissed her gently, her fingers linking behind her back. Regina smiled into the surprise kiss, her own fingers clasped behind Emma's neck.
"I keep forgetting I'm allowed to do that." The blonde breathed breaking apart from the kiss, a large grin plastered across her face.
"You know I'm not one for public displays of affection, darling." Regina replied, a hint of playfulness in her tone.
"Oh I know, but I just couldn't help myself, you look incredibly sexy tonight as always."
The mayor ducked her head shyly. Emma Swan would certainly without a doubt be the death of her. If only the woman knew who she was actually dealing with: an evil queen who cast a curse to enact revenge and obtain justice from the girl who ruined only chance at a happy ending. The past six weeks had been the most infuriating yet the most wonderful time of her life. She knew that the second the blonde was in Storybrooke things were going to change, hell even she somewhat changed. Regina could feel through her veins that the curse was becoming weaker and weaker, the longer Emma remained in town. She knew it would eventually break, she just didn't know when. That's what scared her the most. Along with how Emma would react, after all she was responsible for Emma not having parents, shifting between foster homes, giving birth to Henry while in prison. It was all her fault. And yet this woman, who stood right before her eyes, and was as naive as a child actually loved her. At this moment in time, her life was perfect and once again soon enough it will all be taken away again. It's true, villains don't get their happy endings.
Regina had begun to accept that a long time ago.
Mindlessly, the brunette whispered, "I'm so sorry."
Emma's eyebrows furrowed now slightly perplexed as she eyed the mayor whom seemed to be in some sort of trance.
"Regina, babe, are you okay?" She shook her slightly, snapping the now alarmed woman.
"Uhm, yes I'm fine." The brunette breathed out. Emma seemed unconvinced. "I just felt a bit nauseous, dear. Nothing to worry about." She gave a tight-lipped smile.
Emma sighed, clearly relieved, "Okay good. Don't worry, alcohol will fix everything." She smiled, intertwining their fingers together as they walked to the hotel.
"Oh no, dear. I have no intention of becoming intoxicated. I would like to save myself from public humiliation, thank you very much."
Emma pouted, "So I'm guessing that's a no to shots then?"
"You're correct, Miss Swan. No shots for me, none at all."
…
Approximately 22 minutes later.
"GO! GO! GO!"
"You have 4 seconds left!"
The group of mayors and other guests surrounding the table cheered on as Regina took shot after shot lined across the table. The idea of the game was to down as many shots in 10 seconds. Emma was surprised to say the least, she had never seen the mayor like this. Either she just wanted to let loose and have a good time or she was currently engaged in a world war of internal conflict. Emma wasn't entirely sure about the reason behind her little display tonight, but nonetheless she loved this side of Regina.
"3,2,1, STOP!"
"Fuck." Regina swore under her breath. She shifted her weight onto her hands that laid flat on the table. "Why the hell did I do that?" She uttered to herself.
"Wow, I am impressed." Emma came up behind her.
"As you should be. I haven't done that since...ever."
Before Emma could respond Mr. Spencer Von Richmann, tonight's celebratory host spoke up.
"I'm going to say this now while some of us are still somewhat sober." He chuckled, along with everyone else. "Thank you for attending this evening, and now after a few drinks I'm going to advise you all to try your luck in the casino." He grinned before everyone erupted in applause, then proceeded to move out of the large function room with the intention of heading towards the casinos for a night of gambling.
"Fuck, I'm going to go bankrupt tonight. I probably won't have enough for bail money either." Emma mumbles.
Regina shook her head slightly in an attempt to regain her senses. "How many times are we in vegas, Miss Swan?"
"Uhh not a lot…"
"Precisely, so let's go use money that I will regret using in the morning."
Emma gave her a wicked grin, "Feel like a game of blackjack, madam mayor?"
"I thought you'd never ask, my dear." Regina's grin reflected that of an Evil Queen's and that for Emma was a total turn on.
…
"Miss Swan, do try to contain yourself, as I will not be bailing you out of jail tonight if it so happens you are taken into custody." Regina warned her 'wife' whom had consumed a plethora of alcoholic beverages in the last half an hour.
Emma smirked at her, and pointed at wobbly finger at the brunette, "Let me tell you something, the police would probably set me free anyways because I'm a really annoying prisoner…apparently." She chuckled, and of course Regina rolled her eyes at the woman and sipped her martini.
"M'am?" The dealer spoke up.
The blonde looked at her cards, a six of diamonds and a king of clubs - adding to a total of sixteen. "Fuck'n hell." She muttered underneath her breath. What were the chances that she'd get a 5 or less card.
"Hit me."
The dealer dealer her a six and Emma almost flipped the table. She had gone bust at 22.
It was now Regina's turn, and she seemed to be in deep thought before she announced, "Hit."
She received an eight of hearts, and a smirk made its way across her face. When all the players had had their turn, they all revealed their cards. Sitting there as poised as a politician, which she was, Regina revealed her cards which turned out to sum up to exactly 21. She had won the game again, which to her wasn't a surprise.
"Oh look at that, I win again." The mayor took her winning chips and tugged on the blonde whom was currently face down on the gaming table. "Come along, Miss Swan. Or will I need to put you on a leash and pull."
Emma groaned, before lifting her head up, "How did you do it?" She asked as she slid of her seat and followed the brunette.
"Luck." Regina smirked.
Emma's eyes widened, "Oh my god, you were counting!"
"What is counting?"
Emma gave her a 'you-know-what-the-fuck-it-is' stare, while Regina simply shrugged.
"Do you reckon you could win me some?" The blonde attempted her best pout which only ended with her spluttering her saliva everywhere.
"Are you a dog?!"
"No…but I wouldn't mind being shaggy, you know shaggy dog." She laughed at herself and shook her head as though she were shaking like a wet dog, and the brunette just stared at her.
"Well, it seems only one of us can actually hold our liquor."
"Uh-uh. You're just not drunk enough, so let's go drink some more!" Emma grinned and moved past her girlfriend, grasping her arm, and practically dragging her along.
"I'm too old for this." Regina muttered, the alcohol beginning to fully sink in.
Regina had never felt so alive in her entire life. Emma, herself and all the other mayors of Maine partied hard until the early hours of the morning. They took shots, danced dangerously close to each other (it could have almost been noted as a form of sexual harassment) though neither women were complaining. They also completed body shots with the traditional tequila, then salt and finally lime wedges. Regina had never done that before and found it completely exhilarating. Then all the mayors and their dates had reached a point where their libidos had skyrocketed, and so everyone proceeded to make their way either to their rooms in the higher vicinity of the building or they went back to their independently booked hotels. Kyrah, the Mayor of Portland, had left the nightclub with some strange, tall, dark, and handsome European much to her delight, and said, "I'll see you suckers during our massive hangover tomorrow!" Before being whisked away by the gorgeous man. Emma, of course, always thinking about her stomach couldn't leave the building until she scoffed down a few tacos, accompanied with a shot of vodka. That really sealed the deal, and although she was somewhat heavily inebriated, when Regina leant in and took a massive 'Jaws-sized' chunk out of her taco Emma grinned rather proudly at her 'wife'.
"You're so cute, even with beans on your face." Emma slurred, and chuckled.
Mayor Mills pouted like a 5-year-old, "I'm adooooore-able."
The pair then begun their rather stumbling and tumbling journey down Las Vegas Strip, and they weren't far from their hotel now and all seemed great, but the rest of the night turned out to be one massive blur for both Emma and Regina. And let's just say that, one of them did end up throwing up on the sidewalk, the other, fortunately made it to a nearby trashcan.
…
Fuck. Double fuck, Fucking-fucking OWW.
Emma Swan hung off the king-sized bed, her body thrown haphazardly across it, as though someone had mercilessly tossed her onto the bed. Her head felt as though there were little children clashing cymbals in her head. Ouch. Shit. Aspirin. Water. I need aspirin and water. NOW. She groaned as the room had began to spin. And she really needed to throw up, but she couldn't get up without possibly knocking herself unconscious. No, I really need to throw up. Emma rolled off the bed, her awkwardly enormous sombrero flew off her head as she raced to the toilet to spew her guts. To her dismay she looked at the contents that she had just thrown up.
"Oh…I must have been in the mood for Mexican last night. Fucking great."
Emma had just noticed the strays of ink of her forearm. Her heart reduced its speed at the notion that it was indeed from a Sharpie marker and not a damn tattoo. She squinted at the writing on her arm, and noted that it was a list of the people who she would eat first if she were to turn into a brainless zombie.
"What the hell happened last night?" She murmured, before throwing up again.
Her ears perked up at other noises coming from outside the bathroom within her hotel room.
She wiped her mouth and gently made her way out of the bathroom, using whatever appliance necessary on the way to help her stand straight. Her green orbs widened at the sight. Not only was the hotel room utterly and completed trashed but all the mayors were there as well. Spencer Von Richmann took comfort on the black tiled kitchen floor; Emma didn't know what was worse: the fact that the older man was only wearing boxers or that he was wearing Spiderman boxers.
"Batman for the fucking win." She held her head in agony as she shuffled around the apartment. Another mayor, Adam Goodwin laid fully-clothed on a smashed in glass coffee table, as though he had fallen back and gone straight through the glass. Emma cringed. Ouch. That's gotta hurt. And so does my fucking everything! With a ragged breath she continued moving through the rooms. Her eyes widened as she spotted Quinn DuPont lying against the entrance hall wearing a rather extravagant showgirl's outfit. Ew. Feathers. A lot of feathers. She hopped over the snoring woman and moved into the spare room, only to find Kyrah as bare as the day she was born accompanied by the hunk from last night.
"Oh fuck!" Emma quickly closed her eyes and immediately backed out of the room. "Holy fucking shit." She panted. Her neck began to cramp up, and as she massaged her neck she felt to little metal balls on each side of her upper neck. Her jaw dropped. It seemed as though someone wanted an extra piercing or two at the back of her neck, also known as snake bites.
"Oh my fucking god!" Emma screeched, her voice jolting awake the other mayors in the hotel room.
"For fuck sakes! Shut the hell up!" She heard Kyrah yell, followed by a heavy thud. Someone just fell off the bed.
"I GOT FUCKING SNAKE BITES ON MY NECK!"
"My head hurts…" Quinn whimpered, before she noticed the feathers all around her. "Oh crap."
"Where are my clothes?…" Spencer murmured from the kitchen.
"Why am I lying on GLASS?!" Adam groaned, his head and body aching viciously.
Emma sighed, "Everyone, get to the lounge room, now!" She winced at her own loud voice. "Jesus fucking christ."
"I swear I got hit by a train or two…" Kyrah appeared beside her and flopped onto the spare couch, as all the mayors begun to come together in the room.
"Where the hell is Reggie?" Adam mumbled, while rubbing his eyes and attempting to correct his wild hair.
Emma made a face. "Who the fucks Reggie?"
"I don't even know!" Quinn cried.
Kyrah sighed tiredly, "Oh brother, someone's peee-emmm-esss- ing. Big time."
"No, I'm not!"
"Liar liar pants on fire." Kyrah retorted very maturely. "You don't just have issues at the moment, you have a bloody subscription!"
"Will you guys stop it! Fuck! Let me think for a second." Emma held her head as she swayed for a few moments. She had no recollection of last night. Well only the start, when Regina downed those shots but that was- Emma's eyes widened in realisation…
"Oh my god! Where's Regina?!..."
Meanwhile in a unknown location…
A particular unconscious brunette woman laid on the soft green grass. Next to her, water fell graciously down the boulders, igniting a rather calm and serene environment. She subconsciously sighed in content, her eyes still closed tightly, while her sombrero practically smothered her face. Unbeknownst to the woman, she had company that was not only next to her but all around her actually. The birds stalked closer to the intruder in their environment. Their lanky black stick-like legs inched closer, with their bent beaks leaning coming closer in curiosity. The sun was now fully up, causing the animals' pink feathers to radiate brightly. The group of flamingos all looked at one another and then at the woman before their eyes. They all inched closer and then began prodding her with their beaks.
"Ow! What the h-" Regina's croaky voice died in her throat at the sight of the flamingos around her.
"MISS SWAN!" Regina screeched at the top of her lungs.
Meanwhile 32 stories above…
Spencer's face contorted, "Did you guys hear that?"
Quinn nodded, "It sounded like someone said 'gong' You know those Chinese…thingy…majigs" She attempted to make the object with her hands, but failed epically. Obviously, still at the mercy of the hangover.
"I actually thought someone yelled 'bomb'…" Kyrah muttered. She shook her head, "I ain't got no time for that."
"That must've been one helluva scream…" Adam looked cross-eyed.
"We should probably go and look for Regina?" Kyrah let her chin sink to her chest.
"Where is Emma anyway?" Quinn yawned tiredly.
Kyrah shivered, "Let's just say, those tacos are no longer in her stomach…"
"Ewww." Adam winced.
Emma emerged from the bathroom, her face a little green as she leaned against the door frame. "So…who's up for a game of 'Find the missing Mayor'?"
So what did you think? Honest opinions please :) My writing skills are lacking, I know it's okay I will get better I promise! Haha
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