I'm gonna try and fix the story by showing off personality,making a new plot point,and showing more action instead of a lot of dialouge. (I thank a reviwer for inspiring me to fix this story)
Enjoy!

Cerulean City
June 5th 6:30 P.M

As Jake was walking along to Nugget Bridge he heard an explosion.

"What was that!?" Jake said.

The explosion came from a house right near him and as he looked over,he saw about 5 Team Rocket goons stealing and hurting some Pokemon nearby

"Leave those Pokemon alone now!" Jake said angrily.
"Charmander and Nidorino lets go!" He shouted as he sent them out

"Knock them out with Flame Wheel and Take Down!"

"Stay out of the way!" All of them said.
"I will destroy you for hurting these Pokemon!" Jake said furiously,even madder then before.

The two pokemon rushed for the grunts but they all sent out Zubats and Rattatas.

The Zubats used Gust and the Rattatas used Hyper Fang and barely damaged Charmander and Nidorino.
Charmander and Nidorino were hurt but they stood up.

"Charmander!" "Nidorino!" Jake yelled out of worry for them.
"Flame Wheel now Charmander!"
"Horn Attack on the Flame Wheel and throw it into the air!" Jake called out

Charmander started a Flame Wheel and then Nidorino launched it into the air with Horn Attack.
Charmander then rushed towards the Zubat and slammed one down into the ground knocking it out.

The other 2 Zubats and Rattatas attacked with Supersonic to confuse Charmander and Nidorino and Hyper Fang to deal damage.
Charmander and Nidorino tried to fight back with Flamethrower and Take Down but they hit themselves because of the confusion KO'ing eachother.
Jake recalled his Pokemon and stepped back,wondering how he had lost to these grunts so easily.
He was about to grab Pikachu's pokeball but he was grabbed and thrown to the ground by a Rocket Grunt before he could call out Pikachu.

"We told you not to get in the way kid!" One of them said as Jake blacked out.
The grunt ran to steal his Pokemon and grabbed Nidorino and tried to run but he was stopped by an unknown Trainer.

"Vine Whip now!" The unknown trainer said as the attack wrapped the grunts up in Vine Whip.
"Throw them out of here now!" the trainer called out as her pokemon threw them out of the city.

She ran over to Jake and tried to wake him up but it didn't work so she carried him to the Pokemon Center and asked Nurse Joy to heal his pokemon while he was laying down. The trainer called his Pokemon out and they tried to wake him up.

"I hope that kid is okay," The trainer said to herself.

A few hours later,it was about 10:30 he started to wake up.

"How did I get here?" He said as he recalled his Pokemon.
"I saved you from those goons" The trainer said."Thanks" He said as he left the Pokemon Center to continue his journey before noticing one of his Pokeballs was missing.

"Huh? Where is Nidorino?" He said,realizing it got stolen.
"Those goons must have stolen it!" He said with a furious tone.
"They will pay for stealing Nidorino!" Jake said as he ran out of the Pokemon Center and towards Nugget Bridge before he stopped to rest.
"Come back!" The unknown trainer said.
"What's your name?" Jake asked
"Lucy" The trainer replied
"I've got a Bulbasaur and a Nidorina" Lucy said.
"Well see ya" Jake said as he started to run,trying to get to Nidorino somehow,but Lucy grabbed him and pulled him back.
"We need a plan!" She said

They devised a plan and sent Nidorina,Pikachu and Bulbasaur to find Nidorino because they were fast.

Charmander came out of his Pokeball to learn that Nidorino was gone.
"Char! Charmander!" Charmander cried out.

They all started to walk over the bridge and waked in the direction that Bulbasaur,Nidorina and Pikachu went.
They were startled when they saw a huge thunderbolt and they ran to it,seeing the Pokemon and all of the Grunts on the ground.

"Nidorino!" Jake cried out as he saw him in a cage and ran to him only to be shocked.

That was enough to jumpstart Jake's brain.

"Charmander use Flamethrower at max power on the cage!" Jake said as Charmander blasted the Cage with a flamethrower and heating the metal up.
"Use Metal Claw to try and break the cage!" Jake called out

Charmander rushed and used Metal Claw at the cage,weakening it more but it didn't break.

"Lucy! I've got an idea!" Jake exclaimed
"Tell Nidorina to use Take Down on the cage!" He said as Lucy told Nidorina to use Take Down."Nidorino Take Down!" Jake called out as the two Take Down attacks collided with the cage,shattering the bars and setting Nidorino free.

The pokemon were recalled and Jake walked out by himself to Route 25,thanking Lucy before he left.

"Wait up!" Lucy said as Jake turned around to see her running towards him.
"Could I travel with you for a while?" She said as Jake blushed a little.
"Sure,it gets a little lonely by yourself" He said.

They both ran ahead to Bills House

Tune in next Chapter!

I pumped up the action in this chapter,I hoped you like it.
Personality was explained for Jake:D
I hope the story turns out better as I figure out a conflict for the characters other than traveling Kanto and collecting badges.
So if you didnt catch the personality here it is

Jake is kind of shy around girls.
He gets serious when Pokemon or people are in danger.
He cares a lot for his pokemon.

Smell ya later!