Kurt woke up with a happy smile on his face, and as he remembered why he felt so good, his smile only grew. He kicked off his covers and hopped out of bed, more than ready to get his day started.
He'd kissed B last night.
The Smythe Expo had been a towering disappointment, but going home to B and finally having the nerve to do what he had wanted to do for so long made up for any frustrations. He'd kissed B and B had kissed him back.
Kurt slipped on a robe and then padded down the hallway. B's door was partially open, so he peeked in to find him sleeping soundly. Kurt let out a sigh as his heart did a little somersault. He could just stand there and watch B sleep, but that would probably count as creepy, so Kurt continued down the hall and to the kitchen.
Kurt got out some fruit and eggs and started making a fruit salad to go with his scrambled eggs. He kept thinking back to last night, kissing B and B being so responsive and joyful about it. They'd both settled down on the couch and ordered Thai food after that. Kurt had meant to talk to B about all that he'd been feeling and maybe find out what B thought about all of it as well, but instead they just ended up making out on the couch until Kurt finally said he needed to get to bed.
Kurt would have loved to just stay with B all night, kissing and holding him, but the truth was things had gotten pretty hot pretty fast and Kurt thought he should probably put on the brakes. He didn't want to move so fast that it ended up hurting their relationship in the end.
Kurt was lost in thoughts of B and chopping up some strawberries when he accidentally sliced his finger. He yelped and drew his hand back, knife clanging to the floor. He immediately went to run his finger under water, relieved that it didn't look like the cut was very deep.
"Kurt!" He turned to see B hurrying into the kitchen. He was wearing long flannel pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, and his hair was curly and crazy, sticking up all over. "Are you okay? Did I just hear you shout?"
"Just a cut," Kurt said, holding up his finger and noticing that it was still bleeding.
B's eyebrows shot up and he quickly rushed past Kurt, opening the cabinet over the microwave and pulling out the little first aid kit. "Here, let me help," he said, holding Kurt's hand back under the cool stream of water before ever so gently cleaning the cut and putting on some soothing Neosporin and then wrapping a band-aid tightly around it. He was intent on his work the whole time, looking at Kurt's finger with a furrowed brow as Kurt watched him, taking in his long lashes and dark curls and the way his lips turned down in a little pout as he was thinking.
When B looked back up at him, Kurt knew he was smiling like an idiot.
"You're certainly happy about a cut finger," B teased, rubbing his thumb across the back of Kurt's hand.
"Maybe it's the loss of blood," Kurt joked, but B's face fell, growing serious. "B! No, it's just a cut," Kurt hurried to assure him. "I'm fine."
"Humans are so fragile, Kurt," B said softly, kissing Kurt's palm before letting it go. Kurt wished he hadn't. "Skin and bones and blood." He worried his bottom lip a little. "You're breakable."
"I'm stronger than I look," Kurt said, stepping closer to B and wrapping his arms around his neck. "No need to worry about me."
B smiled brightly, his face flushing a little. "Are you going to kiss me again?"
Kurt arched an eyebrow, "Unless you kiss me firs-" He was cut off by B's lips capturing his own, and Kurt smiled into the kiss, loving the feel of B so close and so sweet.
B pulled back with a smile. "I'll finish breakfast for you," he said, stepping away from Kurt and turning to the food Kurt had gotten out. "What kind of eggs do you want?"
"Don't be silly," Kurt said grabbing B's arm and pulling him to the counter before smoothly pushing him down on a stool. "You do too much cooking for me considering you don't even eat much." Kurt scooped the fruit into a bowl and turned the stove on to start his eggs.
"I like doing things for you," B said, and Kurt turned to smile at him. B sat with his elbows on the counter and his chin in his hands watching Kurt as he cooked.
"Do you want anything?"
"No, thank you," B answered, his eye glued to him. B didn't say anything again until Kurt was done cooking and had come to sit by him at the counter. "So are we going to… talk about yesterday?" B asked as Kurt chewed a bite of fruit salad.
Kurt swallowed and nodded. "I guess we should." Kurt didn't know why he suddenly felt nervous, but his stomach tightened a little. What if they wanted different things? Kurt wanted a relationship with B and he thought that was what B wanted too - he hoped that was what B wanted too.
"Why did you kiss me?" B asked, cheek still resting in his propped-up hand. He looked casual and completely at ease with talking about this, and it helped Kurt relax.
"Honestly? I've wanted to kiss you for a long time."
B smiled at that. "You remember the day you let me try ice cream for the first time?"
"Of course. You loved it so much I thought you might pass out."
"That's because ice cream is amazing, Kurt," B said with mock seriousness before smiling shyly and looking away from Kurt's face. "Um… Anyway… You had a little bit of ice cream on your lips and you licked it off and I've… I've wanted to kiss you ever since." B admitted, his eye shining and his cheeks rosy.
"B, that was right after we met."
"I know. I've been waiting."
"Waiting for what?"
"For you to want it too," B explained, sitting up straighter and looking at him. "I wasn't sure it would ever really happen. I mean… I'm just an android and you're… wow. But then we became friends and I thought if you could be friends with a droid, then maybe, maybe I could keep hoping. And then you wanted me to come to New York with you." B shook his head as if he was still in disbelief about that. "For the last few months, I thought that you might have started to feel about me the way I felt about you… But then…" B's voice drifted off and Kurt nodded in understanding.
"Then I went out with Elliott."
B gave Kurt the smallest of smiles. "I was trying very hard to be happy for you."
"B," Kurt said, reaching over and placing a hand on top of one of B's. "I've had a crush on you since we met and it's only been growing since then. And now you're my best friend and I'm… Well," Kurt smiled, feeling his own face heat up. No one had ever made Kurt feel so shy yet happy at the same time. "I'm kind of crazy about you." He looked up again, needing to get this part right. "You're special, B. I've never met anyone like you, but…"
"But I'm an android," B finished for him, still smiling but seeming a little sad.
"Yes. And I've never looked at you like other droids - you aren't like other droids - but I have to admit… I was scared."
"Scared?" B repeated so softly it gave Kurt goosebumps. "Scared of me?"
"No. Never. Never scared of you. Just scared of... of falling for you and not knowing how that would work out."
B was quiet for a moment, and Kurt sat watching him and hoping he'd explained that the right way.
"So you went out with a human."
"And the whole time I just wished he was you."
B nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. "I… I don't know how this is supposed to work any better than you do, Kurt. I mean… I'm a machine and you're… you are so very human."
Kurt licked his lips nervously. "I don't think we have to have all the answers right now. I just... I want to be with you, B, and… why don't we just do it? Why don't we just try and take things as they come?"
"Burt won't like it."
Kurt shook his head. "My dad likes you and he'll just want me to be happy. He'll support us if he knows that's what I really want."
"What about your friends? They won't think it's strange?"
"I think Mercedes has been rooting for us from the beginning. I can't see Sam caring one way or another. Rachel… if she has any concerns, it will only be that I don't get hurt."
"I would never hurt you," B said adamantly.
"I know that, B," Kurt said, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in to peck his lips softly.
B's whole body relaxed with Kurt's kiss, and a genuine smile returned to his face.
"Any other questions?" Kurt asked looking into B's eye.
"What happened yesterday?" B asked. "You came home and… Where were you? What made you… What happened?"
"Oh," Kurt said, feeling a little nervous again, not knowing how B would react to what he found out at the expo yesterday, or what he hadn't found out really. "I went to this expo. A Smythe Industries Expo."
B's eyebrows shot into the air. "You... You what?"
"Um…" Kurt's nervous feeling started to grow. "I went to the expo hoping to find out more about the B line and what makes you different than other droids."
"Kurt." B stood up from his stool, raking his fingers through his hair. "How could you do that and not tell me? Don't you think I would have wanted to go with you?"
"I don't know if it would have been a good idea for you to be there…"
"Don't you understand?" The volume of B's voice was rising and he shifted on his feet in agitation, but he didn't seem mad really, just confused and hurt and that was actually much worse. "You have questions about me? You wonder why I'm different? Don't you think I have those very same questions? And more?" B ran his hands down his face as his voice shook, and Kurt couldn't do anything but watch him while guilt stirred in his stomach.
"I know I'm different. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not like any other droids I've met and yet I'm not human. Don't you think that keeps me up at night? I don't belong anywhere, and you went to the one place that might have answers and you didn't even tell me!" B was breathing heavily and there were tears in his eyes.
Kurt's heart sunk. God, he had been so single-minded in his pursuit of answers that he hadn't even thought about what this would all mean to B. "I'm so sorry," Kurt said, wishing he could think of anything to make it up to him. "I'm so, so sorry. I didn't think. I… I thought I was protecting you, but of course you want answers and, god… B…"
B had backed away from the counter a little, and Kurt got up and walked towards him, hoping B wouldn't move away from him. Kurt reached for B's hands and felt a small measure of relief when B didn't flinch away, but instead held Kurt's hands back. "I'm so sorry," Kurt repeated. His stomach was tight with guilt. How could have he been so selfish to think this only mattered to him? "I should have told you. I should have… B… I messed up. I'm sorry."
B let out a long breath and nodded, squeezing Kurt's hands. "I know… I didn't mean to get so upset." He looked up from their hands to smile at Kurt, even though his brows were still bunched up in anxiety. "Did you... learn anything?"
Kurt stepped closer. B had settled down almost immediately when Kurt apologized, but he still felt awful. He was searching his mind for a way to make it up to him. It didn't help that Kurt didn't really have any good news to tell B. "I asked about you… or about the B line. Most people there had never even heard of it."
"I've tried looking it up online," B nodded. "But there isn't anything to be found."
Of course B had looked it up on his own. What had Kurt been thinking, that B was just going through life without a care in the world, without a thought as to who he was or where he came from? Kurt had been so shortsighted. "Oh, B…" Kurt sighed, and the forged on. "Well, the Smythe employees weren't any more forthcoming. One doctor seemed to know what the B line was, but he got worked up when I asked about it and told me to forget about it before literally running away from me."
B tilted his head in thought. "What was his name?"
"Dr. Lemaire. Does that mean anything to you?"
B thought for a moment but then sighed and shook his head. "I'm afraid not."
"I also met Sebastian Smythe," Kurt said timidly, worried now about B's reactions.
"You did? Kurt, that's amazing. He had to know something."
"I'm sure he did, but he… B… I don't know why the B line is a secret, but he was angry that I'd been asking questions. He threatened me with lawyers and made me leave."
B was quiet, opening his mouth and then closing it again. He let Kurt's hand fall and walked to the counter to sit back down on a stool. Kurt joined him. "What does that mean?" B asked, his voice sounding hollow, and Kurt hurt for him. "Maybe the B line hasn't come out yet… somehow?" B suggested. "And they are trying to keep it secret until the big release?"
Kurt held his breath. He didn't think that was the case after all Sebastian said, but he really didn't want to repeat all Sebastian had said either.
"No, that's not it," B continued. "I can tell by your face."
"Sebastian was… upset. He didn't seem to…" Kurt started, and then stopped thinking about Sebastian Smythe's harsh words.
"Kurt, it's okay. Just tell me what he said."
"Sebastian Smythe said that the B line was a waste of time…" Kurt said quickly, getting it over with. "He said it was a disappointment... or a waste of hope I think were his exact words."
Kurt waited anxiously as B took that information in. "Oh." B's voice was so small it felt like a grip around Kurt's heart.
"I'm sorry, B."
After a moment B nodded and then shrugged. "I guess… I mean, Burt found me in bad shape in the middle of a dumping ground. Obviously, it wasn't happy events that lead me there. I guess… I guess I shouldn't be surprised?"
"B," Kurt leaned forward, placing his hands on B's knees and bumping foreheads with him.
"Besides, I guess it's all okay," B continued, slowly smiling. "If it means I ended up here with you."
Kurt smiled too, feeling lighter now that B wasn't as upset. "You aren't a disappointment. You aren't a mistake," Kurt assured him, hoping B understood how much he meant these words. "And I am so so lucky my dad found you, because my life is better with you in it."
B's smile brightened at that, and he used Kurt's closeness to give him a soft kiss. "Um… Does this mean we're dating?" B said, with a sudden change of topic.
"Yes, absolutely," Kurt answered, hoping they could both put all the messiness of the Smythe Expo behind them.
Kurt was so happy for the next week that his days seemed to blend together. Going from school to work to home, B was in his thoughts almost constantly. Kurt skyped with his dad again and tentatively told Burt about him and B. His dad was mostly quiet about it, but in the end he did what he told Kurt he would. He supported him and said he wanted Kurt to be happy, and if there was anything he could do to just let him know.
Kurt also called Mercedes because he had a feeling she'd be excited for them. He wasn't disappointed; Mercedes loved the idea of him and B together and wondered what had taken them so long. Kurt hadn't told Rachel yet. He loved Rachel and knew she loved him too, but sometimes she was a lot to take, and he just wanted to be happy for a little longer before having to explain himself to her.
Kurt was so happy he got up every morning with a smile and even sometimes woke himself up at night laughing. So when he woke up at a quarter to 2:00 am one night, it took him a moment to understand why he was awake. When he realized what it was, he got up and out of bed immediately.
B was awake down the hall.
He knocked softly on B's door as he slipped in. Every other time Kurt came to B's room after a nightmare, B was already calming himself down and it didn't take too much from Kurt to get him smiling again. Tonight was different. B was sitting up in bed, shaking all over; he seemed short of breath, and as soon as Kurt came in, B weakly called out his name.
"B, it's okay," Kurt said, hurrying over to his side as B wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt and buried his damp face in Kurt's neck. "Oh B, it was just a dream. You're okay." B hadn't had a nightmare in over a week, and Kurt had hoped they were gone. It seemed they weren't.
"Are you okay?" B asked, still clinging to Kurt.
"Me? Of course I am. B? What's wrong?" B's clinginess and constant tears were worrying him. B pulled back and took a long shaky breath.
"I… The um… The dream was different this time."
Kurt brushed some hair out of B's face. The dream had always been the same: a group of men attacking B, with him on the ground as they kicked and hit him. It always made Kurt sick to think about it, but it seemed tonight the nightmare had changed, and by B's reaction, it had gotten worse.
"What happened?" Kurt asked softly, afraid to hear the answer.
"I was a droid," B answered, and took another calming voice. "I've never even thought about it before, but every time I've had this dream I was human, and I know I was because… There was blood and…" He cleared his throat. "This time, though, I was metal and circuits and wires and they were still beating me up."
"Oh, B."
"No, Kurt, that wasn't the worst of it. I could take it better as a droid, but you were there and… and…" His voice broke and his eyes filled with tears. "Kurt, they were hurting you this time and I couldn't stop them."
Kurt bit his lip and then couldn't help leaning in and kissing B lightly, glad when he heard B sigh a little more peacefully. "I'm not hurt," Kurt said. "We are both in our apartment and safe. No-one is going to hurt us."
"They might," B said.
"Why? Why do you think anyone would hurt us?"
"Because you're dating a droid," B said looking into Kurt's eyes. "Because even if your dad and Carole and your friends are okay with it… the rest of the world won't be."
"B…" Kurt shook his head, trying to find an argument against that, but he knew B was right. He'd grown up with prejudices for being a gay kid in Ohio, and though things had been mostly better since moving to New York, he knew dating a droid was just another huge social taboo. It could very well upset people.
"I won't let you get hurt because of me," B said resolutely. "Maybe we shouldn't… Maybe we shouldn't be together."
"I decided a long time ago not to let other people dictate my future or to let prejudices keep me from being happy," Kurt said quickly. "You know, there are plenty of people who wouldn't want us together because we are two guys. Would you back down because of that? Because we're gay?"
"No… I…"
"And it is the same, more unusual, sure, but I'm not going to let small-minded people keep me from being happy, and you, B?" Kurt cupped B's face in his hand. "You make me happy."
"But…"
"But nothing," Kurt said, almost angry, not at B, but at the world for making B feel this way. "Do you want to be with me?"
"Yes. So much."
"Then that's settled. We get to live our lives the way we want to, B."
B was quiet, seemingly mulling over Kurt's words, but at least he wasn't crying anymore. It physically hurt to see B cry. "Kurt, I'm not human," B finally said. "How can you even… Why would you risk so much for someone who isn't even a real person?"
"But you are."
"I'm just a machine."
"Okay…" Kurt said with a heavy sigh. "You're a machine, but you aren't just a machine. You have real emotions, right?"
"Yes."
"And you really care about me?"
"Yes, Kurt, always."
"And you have real wants and desires and plans for your life. To me that makes you real. I don't know… what makes humans… humans. I can't say for sure that I believe in an afterlife or anything like that, but if humans have souls and that's what make us people, then I believe you have a soul too B. I don't know how, I don't have all the answers, but you are so much more than a machine. You're… B, and I…" Kurt paused, tears clogging his throat as he looked at B's face staring back at him intently. "I'm falling in love with you, B. That alone should prove you are so much more than just a machine."
B was perfectly still as Kurt's words hung in the air. Kurt could feel his heart hammering against his chest waiting for B to respond. Then, slowly, a smile grew on B's face and he started laughing, well, half laughing and half crying, before he dove in, kissing Kurt and pulling him close. Kurt smiled and kissed him back, toppling him over until Kurt was leaning over him and trying to kiss away all his worries.
Kurt pulled back to look down at B, wide-eyed, blinking up at him and his body pliant beneath him, waiting expectantly for what Kurt might do or say next. "Don't say we can't be together, B."
B was breathing heavily again, but for new reasons, and he lifted his hand to gently trace his fingers down Kurt's cheek. "You are the most beautiful person I've ever known," B said quietly, reverently. "Machine or person… No matter what I am, I know I'm so lucky to be with you."
Kurt felt happy tears scratch at his throat as he grinned down at B. Kurt kissed him again softly and then curled up next to him. "Can I stay here tonight?"
"Please," B said, wrapping his arms around Kurt.
Kurt sighed happily and rested his head on B's chest. There was no heartbeat there, since B didn't have one, but if he listened closely, he thought he could hear a gentle whirring of gears, and Kurt smiled, letting the sound lull him to sleep.
