Chapter Summary: Arizona's famine is worse than imagined. Or, Jane takes Thor to a butcher shop.

A/N: Set some time just before Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Their first trip to an actual butcher shop happened some months later, after one of Jane's larger grant proposals was funded. Her experience with the Convergence opened numerous doors which had previously been closed to her, and although she knew this was due, in part, to being one of the only astrophysicists on the planet with first hand data, she had no intention of turning down the opportunities it presented. Her collaboration with Dr. Ramachandran secured her computing cluster time, which in turn lead to a paper, and that went a long way towards garnering attention for her and her work. All of this meant money, and that lead to paying Darcy a reasonable wage and living off something other than simple soups and her mother's good will. At this rate, she'd be able to move into her own modest apartment very soon. First, though, she upgraded her eating habits.

Their grocery shopping had taken on a routine which wasn't very social, owing in part to Jane's desire to get in and out of the store as fast as possible. Thor did try to make small talk with the employees, but they seemed disinclined to chat, so Thor spent most of the time reading containers and asking Jane questions.

The butcher shop was an entirely different situation. He went right to the case and began looking everything over, and after a minute or so the proprietor—a lanky, black-skinned man with short cropped hair, bright, hazel eyes, and a Scottish accent—asked if they had any questions.

Before Jane could respond, Thor said, "Yes. Can you tell me about the cuts for," he pointed at a line of beef steaks, "this animal?"

The butcher gave him a confused look. "Certainly. I take it you're not too familiar with beef?"

Jane nudged his foot. Thor said, "No, not especially. It is somewhat expensive where I'm from."

"Oh? Where-abouts is that?"

"Arizona."

The butcher squinted. "Ah. That's in the Southwest part of the States, right? Desert? I guess cattle'd have to be brought in to a place like that, though I figured that was just how it was done everywhere in the US."

Jane said, "It is, but, he's from a really remote part of Arizona." The butcher nodded.

"Makes sense. Well then." He grabbed a thin pamphlet from a set stacked at the far end of the counter. "S'what these are for. This side's beef and lamb, that side's pork and chicken. Then we've got your other fowl here," he pointed at a red flier, "your game hens and duck and that sort of thing, and then over there are some papers for the more exotic meats—ostrich, emu, and so on. I don't always have those, of course. Availability varies a bit, and they're costly." He smiled and added, "Name's Kenneth."

Thor dipped his head in an almost bowing motion. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Kenneth. I am Thor."

"And, I'm Jane," Jane added. Kenneth smiled at each of them, though his expression quickly faded into a puzzled look.

"Thor? As in," Kenneth raised his hand and shook it like he was holding something.

Before she even realized she was doing it Jane had blurted out, "His parents are from Iceland. They moved to Arizona because they were tired of it being cold all the time."

As with the old woman in the grocery store months earlier, Jane thought Kenneth wasn't going to buy it. And maybe he didn't, because for a moment he looked at Thor, and she was sure he'd recognized him. Then he laughed, and the moment was gone as quick as it had come. "Now there's a switch for ya." The shop door jingled, admitting two more customers. Kenneth glanced around Thor to nod a hello to them, and gestured at the case. "Well, if you've any more questions, about where it's sourced from or what to get, just let me know." He moved down the counter to greet the new arrivals.

Thor bobbed his eyebrows at Jane and gave her a secretive smile, and she elbowed him. Looking somewhat chastised, he held up the pamphlet for them to confer over.

It was a good thing Kenneth didn't mind questions, because Thor was practically made of them. Once they'd decided on what they wanted and the current customer was gone, Thor struck up another conversation with Kenneth. An hour later, they left with their selection: two whole chickens, beef chuck for making their own ground beef (Thor insisted that was something he could do, and Jane's mother had a stand mixer with a grinding attachment so she didn't argue), top round and bones for making soup, and a bottom round roast.

"I'm glad mom has a big freezer," Jane said as they unpacked everything in the kitchen. Darcy eyed the haul with wide eyes.

"Wow, did you get an entire cow?"

"I inquired," Thor said, "and Kenneth said he could obtain one at a fair price, though Jane feels there is not sufficient space to store it."

Darcy blinked. "Oh, I didn't know you could buy a whole cow, I was just..." She gestured at the stack of white-paper wrapped packages which Jane was shoving into the freezer.

Thor continued as if Darcy hadn't just suggested buying a cow was a ridiculous concept you would only joke about. "If you can be certain you will be able to consume all of it, it is the best use of funds."

"Isn't it expensive though?" Darcy picked up the package of stew meat and bones and eyed the price. Jane took it from her and put it in the refrigerator.

Thor nodded. "It is a large immediate cost. Though as with many things, the better price is had over time, when one does not continue to purchase additional meat piecemeal and instead relies on the money already spent."

"Mmmm, and we know what that means," Darcy said. Thor raised his eyebrows at her. "Rich people spend less than poor people, because they can afford to pay more up front."

Thor made a low sound and nodded. "Yes, this is often the case when there are not measures in place to protect those who cannot afford to buy goods in this manner." Thor set his tablet down on the counter; he'd pulled up instructions for cleaning and roasting a whole chicken. "I believe I shall be able to prepare one of these birds," he said to Jane, "if you wish to have it tonight. Kenneth said the remains can be used to make a soup."

"Ah, sure," Jane said. "The roasting pan should be in the bottom storage tray under the range."

Thor donned the larger of the kitchen's two aprons (which was still comically tiny on him) and began digging things out of the refrigerator. Jane fetched her laptop so she could catch up on email, and Darcy moved over to the counter and leaned against it, watching Thor. Jane half-listened to them talking, because most of her messages were listserv entries about topics which only half-concerned her.

"So. You cook a lot?"

"I would not say a great deal, but I am neither useless nor dangerous in a kitchen."

There was a pause in which a knife cut something with a decisive sound, and the smell of fresh lemon filled the kitchen. "Definitely not useless," Darcy said. There were more chopping sounds, and she added, "Can't say I'm sold on the 'not dangerous' part, though."

Thor laughed. "This simpler sort of preparation is something most of us are taught in school."

"Yeah? They really teach you how to cook?"

"Of course. The proper management of a household is an essential skill as an adult. It would be an embarrassment to all Æsir were we to travel to other Realms and appear incapable of surviving on our own as adults."

Wistfully, Darcy said, "Your schools sound awesome already."

"You do not learn these things in a Midgardian school?"

"Not in the US." There was a creak as Darcy shifted against the counter to fold her arms. "Not the schools I went to, anyways. What about you Jane?"

Jane shook her head. Darcy said, "Maybe, if you're lucky, they teach you how to balance a checkbook. But buying a car? Shopping in bulk and on a budget? Doing laundry? Applying for jobs? No way. Your parents get to teach you all of that."

Thor grunted. "Certainly parents may give guidance, but they should not be required to teach their children everything. Their professions might be demanding and taxing, and leave them with little time or energy for instruction. It is to the benefit of all that that the denizens of the Realm be taught such basic tasks. What better place to learn them than in school?"

"Wow, her mom is going to love you," Darcy said.

Jane felt her ears grow warm, and tried to pretend like she wasn't paying attention. Thor said, "Do you think so? Will she approve of a man from a remote desert land which is beset by a banana and cattle famine?" He sounded as pleased as he did amused. Jane hoped she wasn't blushing.

"Now it's bananas and cows?"

Jane said, "He told the butcher they didn't have beef where he used to live."

A roasting pan rattled, and Jane looked up from her laptop. Thor was trussing the herb- and salt-coated chicken, pausing every now and then to confer with his tablet. Darcy had taken down some mugs from the cupboard, and the kettle was heating on the stove.

"Man, Arizona's got it rough," Darcy said. She popped open the tea jar and filled three motley steepers, which sent the sharp smells of cinnamon, orange, ginger, and licorice into the kitchen to compete with the poultry seasoning. "Anyways, it's not like you caused the famine."

"Can you be so sure? Perhaps that is why I left." The oven announced that it was ready with a beep, and Thor slid the pan in and washed his hands.

Darcy made a face. "We'll just leave that part out. You're from Arizona, you left because food was scarce out in the middle of the desert, and you wanted to see the world. How's that sound, Jane?"

Jane nodded. "Completely believable," she said, and deleted an entire thread of emails in which two grad students were arguing over the correct usage of the computing cluster's resources.

The next day Erik came over to help on the paper, and they convened in the living room with drinks while Thor prepared a tray of snacks in the kitchen. Darcy joined them so she could pester Jane for immediate answers to her her questions rather than wait days for a response to an email which might be lost or ignored among dozens of others.

As he came in, Erik said, "It smells amazing in here. What did you have for lunch?"

"Chicken soup," Darcy said. "Thor roasted a chicken last night, and made soup out of the leftovers this afternoon."

"Really?" Erik settled on the couch and took out his laptop. "I wouldn't have taken him for a cook."

"He insists he just knows enough to keep himself alive," Jane said.

Erik seemed to think about that, then shrugged. "Well, I suppose soup and roasting meat are fairly basic things."

"Maybe for him," Jane said. "Cereal's more my speed. But he really hit it off with the butcher."

Darcy sipped from her mug of tea. "Good thing, since Arizona's out of cows."

Erik glanced up from his laptop and frowned. "What's this?" he asked, looking from Jane to Darcy and back.

"Arizona is having a banana and cow famine," Darcy said. Thor came in from the kitchen with a tray of goat cheese, fruit preserves, and crackers.

"And, produce is scarce in the remote regions," he added. "Where I hail from. This is in all likelihood my fault, which is why I was forced to leave."

Erik's expression cleared. "Ah. I see. A smokescreen." He tapped his chin with his glasses. "Not a bad idea, really—you're not likely to run into anyone from those parts around here, and if you do, you can always claim you're from a different area of the state than they're familiar with. Though I'd, ah, leave out the rest. It's a bit of a stretch."

Darcy slathered goat cheese and raspberry preserves onto a cracker. "Is it really a stretch though? When's the last time you bought a banana grown in Arizona?"

Erik gave Darcy a tired look. "They import them. You can't grow bananas in Arizona, the climate's all wrong."

Darcy shook her head. "Sounds like a banana famine to me," she said, and bit into her cracker decisively.

Thor sat next to Jane and exchanged a knowing smile with her. She rubbed his leg and had some tea, and he kissed the top of her head.

Erik sighed at all of them and turned his attention back to his computer.