The queen yawned and cracked her neck. "No, I don't think I will...I was rather interested in where your little conversation was headed just now."
"Exactly HOW MUCH did you hear?" Fionna demanded, pushing herself up on the edge of the snow-soft bed.
"I hardly think that matters now," the queen said dismissively. "I heard enough to know why you're still here, so I think I'll get an early start on silently planning my next crazy headgame for you."
"Oh is that so?" Fionna pressed, moving closer. "What are you thinking of right now then, huh?"
"Breakfast," came the flat reply.
"You liar," she muttered, crossing her arms. "What are you really thinking about? Like...making a ghost copy of yourself to fool me into thinking I've got you trapped in your bed while the real you runs off behind my back to steal some private junk from my underwear drawer or something?"
"...wow, I'm surprised I haven't done that already. How brilliant you are, O Mastermind Deductress of The Gold-Wheat Hair."
"Then what ARE you thinking in your frozen tundra desert brain? Tell me what your next plot is!"
The queen rubbed her eye lazily, slouching forward. "Once again Fionna, you expect everything to be spelled out in big shiny letters for you. Why don't you just wait and see what happens, for a change? You're pretty good at jumping into things without planning, after all. Nice robe, by the way."
"No, I'm not gonna wait no more!" Fionna insisted, subconsciously pulling the robe closed. "You're gonna tell me exactly what kind of sapsucker thoughts are swimmin' around in your head, or I'll hammer-smack you in the guts!"
Ice Queen blew a stray hair from her face. "Knowing you, you'll hammer-smack me no matter what I do."
"Start talkin', meatcheeks!"
"No," the queen replied, throwing herself back down on the pillow. "I want some food first."
"Glob it, Ice Queen!" Fionna shouted, raising her fist.
"What?" she smirked in response, eyes still closed. "Gonna deck a hospitalized innocent? I'm not even fighting back. I CAN'T even fight back! Come on, let's at least play fair here."
"Oh, look who's talking about playin' fair!" Fionna sat up on her knees and put up her dukes. "For all the psychoknots you've wrapped my brain into by now, I think my justice-heart will forgive one good bop to the noggin!"
"And anyway," Ice Queen continued, "What if punching me just knocks me out cold again? You want me awake, don't you? You need me to talk, that's what you were just saying before."
Fionna could already feel the acid inside her beginning to churn, mounting aggravation setting it to boil in the pit of her growling stomach. She tightened her fists and swallowed it back, growling, "Fine. What's it gonna take to MAKE you talk?"
"Everything," the queen yawned, gesturing fancifully with her wrist. "Bring me the world on a glittering glass platter, grant me but a splendid sample of all that lies beneath the moonlit winter skies, and never shall I forget to impart to thee everything within that sets my soul to swelling."
Fionna raised an eyebow in slightly awed confusion, an emotion she wasn't used to feeling, despite her regular encounters with all manner of things slightly awesome and definitely confusing. She had forgotten about the queen's apparent poetry skills and for at least a fleeting moment was genuinely impressed.
That moment quickly faded though when Cake stepped in and grabbed Fionna by the cheeks, pulling her face to face. "Fi, what are we still doin' here? She obviously ain't gonna talk, so we should just make like eggs and scramble."
"Why are YOU in such a hurry, kitty-kitty?" the queen asked, still lying on her back. "Don't you wanna hear what I might possibly have to say?"
"Plunk off, hag."
"Doesn't anybody want to hear what I have to say? What if it's important?"
"It IS important, that's why we're here, you donkus!" Fionna shouted, finger pointed at the queen's nose.
Cake grabbed her by the wrist and tugged insistently. "No, come on Fi-Fi. This is a total waste of our time. All she's gonna do is talkblock you, and frankly, I got better things to do than listen to that mess. Let's get outta here."
"Cake, no," Fionna resisted, struggling against the restrictive heaviness of the fur robe. "We can't leave yet! The mission isn't finished! Leggo!"
"We can so leave, girl! You're done with your little mission, let's just scoot!"
"Funny," the queen mumbled, pushing herself up on her elbows again with some effort. "I thought the whole reason you flakes were still hanging around was specifically so that Fionna could talk to lonely old me. Perhaps you should be letting HER call the shots here, Cupcake."
"Yeah, perhaps you should!" Fionna said, at last working her arm loose and frowning scornfully at Cake before realizing it was still Ice Queen she should be frowning at.
The invisible daggers in Cake's reciprocated glare could have pinned her to the wall, especially if she'd gone and studied the art of psychomancy and learned to convert thought waves into physical matter back when she'd had the chance. Like Fionna, she too was boiling with rage, but for now she seemed to be keeping a tight lid on it. She hissed like a kettle of boiling water, then swiveled her head queenward.
You're the reason she's like this, you devil woman, she thought. Fionna wouldn't be snippin' at me like this if it weren't for you and your big fat mouth fillin' her head with your baloney ideas.
"...well then?" the queen prompted, nudging Fionna with her foot.
She licked her lips. "No tricks, Snotcicle."
The queen shrugged, inasmuch as that was possible in her current position.
Fionna closed her eyes and took a deliberate, deep breath, puffing her chest out. Don't screw this up, she told herself. Say it in a way she can't twist your words around.
She crawled forward, planting herself in an uncomfortable straddle over the queen's legs, sitting up on her knees. Placing a hand firmly on either of the queen's freezing shoulders, she slowly pushed her face forward, stopping mere inches from bumping noses.
Ice Queen stared back at her, calm eyes fading into the snowblind color of the blizzard outside. That blank, white serenity was only a facade, though; underneath it all, she was actually doing everything in her power to keep secret her double-beating heart. The rush of blood sent an excited and anticipatory tingle throughout her entire body.
This was a new kind of excitement. The tables had been turned; she was the prey this time, vulnerable and cornered. So used to always having the upper hand, she found herself all but shivering - SHIVERING! The very Queen of the Ice and Snow, shivering! - This was all unsettlingly exciting, perhaps most of all because she wasn't sure if she wanted the sensation to stop or not.
A rasp of breath passed from Fionna's mouth. "I want..." she said, hands firmly gripping the queen's cracked and still-healing skin, "...to know EXACTLY, in NORMAL WORDS...why is being lovey-dovey with me so important to you?"
...that was it?
Deflated, the queen frowned and blew a ring of cold-steamed air in Fionna's face. "That's all you want?"
With a grunt, Fionna slapped the queen's cheek and sank back down, still straddled, still sitting on her knees. "Tell me. What's your angle?"
"I already told you days ago," she replied bitterly, the thrill dissipating. "I'm old and never get to have fun anymore, and you are, or at least you're SUPPOSED to be, the thrill I've been seeking."
A retching sound came from beside the bed. Cake scowled up at the queen, miming sticking her fingers down her throat. "Ugh, always makin' me gag with junk like that! Why don'tcha tell us the REAL truth for a change?"
"Yeah," Fionna added, "What exactly does all of that mean, really? You're old and princeless and got nothing better to do than make my life a living poo 'cause your bored? Is that really all there is to this whole mess?"
"Hardly," the queen snorted. "I could write a whole library full of reasons this is so worthwhile! Though I must say, right now you're not MAKING it very worthwhile...".
"Good! ...I think?"
"This would be so much easier to explain if you'd just bring me some food," she added, rubbing her stomach and wincing when her fingers brushed a sensitive new scar.
"You're not in any position to make the demands here, snowball-butt." Fionna balled her hand into a fist and thrust it forward, stopping just before making contact.
"Well no kidding, speed bumps," Ice Queen said, gently leaning forward to kiss the fist, which then opened to deliver yet another slap across her cheek.
"Fine," the queen grumbled, gingerly rubbing the tender flesh. "You need a black-and-white, word-for-word explanation for everything, don't you?"
"Tell me in baby talk if you have to. Talk to me like I'm one of your stupid penguins."
"Oh yes, speaking of them, did you two check to make sure they didn't penguin-bomb the kitchen while I was out? They've been getting really testy about that behind my back lately and I'd just really appreciate-".
"Ice Queen, we ain't cookin' you any food," Cake cut her off. "Just drop it already!"
"But why not? Aren't you hungry too?"
"Auunghh," Fionna groaned. "Cake, why don't we just make her some gombombin' food. She's not gonna cooperate otherwise."
"You serious, girl?" Cake put her hands to her hips as her tail started twitching behind her. "What makes you think she'll even play along just 'cause we give in to her demands? All that'll do is give her a reason to ask for somethin' else while we're at it! Make her breakfast now and she'll ask for a back massage after, just you watch!"
"We're not backing down now!" Fionna huffed. "We're here, we've got Ice Queen under our fists, the least we can do is just put up with her butt-headedness for just a little bit longer."
"It ain't gonna work, Fionna!"
"Come on Cake, just make us some food? I'm hungry too!"
"You know what, FINE," Cake replied, throwing her paws in the air. "Let's just let some creepazoid cougar call all the moves around here! She can just be the new boss of our lives! We'll just give her the keys to our house, make her a royal omelette, then bend over to kiss her big bulgin' buttocks every time she graces us with her presence! Why don't we just move in and live here with our wonderful new mistress while we're at it? Maybe then you can finally fall in love for realsies and you'll live happily ever after together! Wouldn't THAT be nice?!"
She huffed in silence for a moment, cold-steam pouring from her mouth. Fionna looked away and grabbed her own arm, expression shifting back and forth between concern and stubborn self-righteousness. The queen raised a wispy eyebrow and puckered her lips in anticipation. She almost made a pithy comment on the scene, but held it back.
Another moment of chill silence passed before Cake sighed and stamped out of the bedroom, muttering to herself, "Yeah, fine. One freakin' breakfast comin' right up. Swear to justice you're gonna learn how to cook for yourself one of these days, Fionna, I SWEAR...".
As soon as she'd left, Ice Queen did speak. "She seems to have gotten worse lately."
"Worse how?" Fionna asked, crawling back to the far end of the bed and sitting cross-legged.
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how quick to anger she's gotten lately," said the queen, digging a finger into her nose. "I mean, I always knew she'd grow up to be a little fireball, but her temper never had THAT short a fuse."
Fionna grabbed her ankles and sat hunched forward a bit. "...she's just...she's been going through a lot lately. It's kinda mostly probably my fault."
"You think so?"
"Well, it's your fault too," Fionna said pointedly, "but I'm the one who keeps insisting she come along and help me out. It's YOUR fault for making MY life hard, cause MY life affects HER life too...uh, I think."
"Don't hurt yourself now," the queen said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I only mention it because, by contrast, you seem a lot calmer about being around me than she does. It's like you've gotten used to me, but she still gets violently angry."
"Well, why wouldn't she? You kinda whacked her parents!"
"Oh, so she has told you about that," she said, straining to arch herself up into a sitting position. "Why she's still frothing mad about it, I'll never understand. That was ancient history as far as I'm concerned."
"But you KILLED her mommy and daddy!" Fionna shouted back, clamoring up to all fours. "Of course she's still mad! She probably wants like...revenge or judgement on you for taking 'em away from her! How can you pretend like you didn't realize that?"
"I didn't know they were her parents back then," the queen added, leaning more toward defensive than apathetic now. "Not that knowing would have necessarily changed my decision, mind you."
"Sick," Fionna said with a sneer. "You really are heartless!"
"Heartless?" the queen scoffed. "More like cautious. Tell me, what would you have done in the same position? If you saw Cake talking with two zombies, unaware of the obvious danger she was in, how would you have reacted?"
"I dunno, geez!" Fionna replied, craning forward. "Ask her if she needed help? I definitely wouldn't have just ZAPPED them though, that's just dumb! Like. What if they were just lost or wanted to know if we had any food or something?"
"Are you even listening to yourself, Fionna? Food? What do zombies eat, hmm?"
"Oh shush," she snapped back. "It was still a nasty no-hearted thing to do."
"You call me heartless, like I'm completely incapable of feelings, Fionna," the queen said, throwing the blanket aside. "If you think I'm heartless, then you must be brainless. Figures, though. You do seem to prefer doing your critical thinking with your fists."
"Hey!" Fionna raised her voice, getting up on all fours to get back in the queen's face. "Give me some credit, Ice Queen! I have a brain and it works like beeswax! I've done nothing but wonder why the everloving fluffernuts you've been chasing me around, asking myself about why I get so mad about it, why I REALLY hate you, what I'm gonna do about all this...it's liberally all I've been thinking about since the day you barged in on me in my bathroom! My brain is probably gonna EXPLODE into mushy pink slime all dripping out of my ears from all this thinking overdose! I am so nowhere NEAR as brainless as you are heartless!"
The queen opened her mouth to speak, but Fionna quickly clamped a hand over it. "Why do even think I'm here right now, queenie? Why am I still hangin' around here? Just to knock you up? I could do that any globbin' day of the week! Why would I go to all the trouble of dragging your helpless kiester out of the forest, keeping you alive all the way up the mountains, and then sleepin' in your house, waitin' for you to wake up? It ain't cause I'm brainless, now, is it?!"
At this point, she was mentally shooting fire from her glaring eyes, but the blank, snow-fog color reflecting back from the queen's seemed to smother the flames. To compensate, Fionna brought her face closer, the heat of her anger mingling with the chill of the queen's unblinking complexion, the familiar steam of hate brewing between them.
Beneath her lifeless expression, Ice Queen was again brimming with excitement and a touch of fear. Her mind spun around in screaming circles, thoughts flying in twenty-seven directions at once. Should she fight back? Play along? Or was it time to be genuine and intimate? She had absolutely no idea what to expect from Fionna, and every conscious thought about it only set her blood pumping faster.
"...so, you're really here to satisfy your brain, then," she at last spoke, pulling Fionna's hand from her mouth. "Out of...shall we say, curiosity?"
"I'm here because I need to know what you want from me!"
The queen's heart began drumming faster. "...but you're only here to find out, yes? You didn't necessarily say you were planning to put a stop to it?"
Fionna hesitated and licked her lips, resisting the urge to back away, and resisting even harder the urge to lean closer. "...I'm here to...to find out what your game is."
"And what if it's not a game? ...what if this is the real thing?"
Fionna shivered involuntarily, oblivious to the how loose the drawstring on the robe had become. "...if this IS the real thing...why are you hesitating? Why not just pounce on me like the snow leopard you are?"
"Hmm, well maybe I'm waiting for you to make the first move this time," Ice Queen smirked back. She relaxed back into predator mode. She'd never lost the upper hand after all.
"And what if I don't make a move?" Fionna asked, trying hard to stop her teeth from chattering. "What if I follow my original plan and beat the words out of you anyway?"
"...then it'll be your loss, won't it?"
Fionna narrowed her eyes even further. She unclenched her fist and slowly brought the hand to the queen's neck, not breaking eye contact for a second. What to do, what to do, her mind screamed. Do I steal a kiss now? Do I wait? She probably already knows I'm into it...if I kiss her now, it means I'm giving up the fight! But if I don't, I'll miss this perfect opportunity while Cake's not looking...oh plop, now she's waiting for me to make a move. What do I do?!
Wait a minute. There, just on the fringe of hearing. A pattering sound approaching. Well Fionna, it's now or-
Before she'd even finished her thought, her lips froze over with that familiar stinging sensation. Her skin went tight, her spine rigid. The queen had beaten her to the punch. She drew in a sharp breath of mint-cold air that traveled up through her senses, into every extremity in her body. She wanted to close her eyes, stretch the moment out, but the sound of feet was drawing closer...
She pulled back and exhaled, breath clouding the air. Ice Queen turned toward the door to see the squishy face of a penguin peering around the corner of the door at her.
"Gertrude! Were you peeping on mommy's special guest time again?" Fionna raised an eyebrow at that remark, angrily shuffling back to the other end of the bed. She couldn't believe she'd lost the so-called battle yet again. And yet - she put a finger to her lips and felt the chill spread through every tiny hair on her arm - she rather ironically also felt as though she'd won.
Gertrude waddled a bit farther into the frame of the doorway, then found herself propelled forward at high velocity by an unexpected punt kick from behind. "Honestly, queenie, the way you run this place nowadays is just disgustin'," Cake announced as she stepped into view, holding a tray over her head. "Penguins climbin' all over your table and poppin' outta cabinets like little ghost devils and such."
Fionna leaned against the wall nonchalantly, cycling through flexing each of pectoral muscles in search of the one that controlled the speed-drumming of her heart. Yikes, that was really freakin' close, she thought. Cake almost saw...well okay, so it wouldn't have been the first time she has...and I guess it's not like Cake doesn't already know about it all...but it's still really embarrassing!
"Alright, now that I've gone and made you dummies the food you just had to have right this moment, let's get the heck down to business already!"
"Pancakes, eh?" the queen said, grabbing a plate from the tray. "How fitting. I'm also sort of impressed that you remember how to use my ice stove."
"Oh, I remember alright," Cake responded, rolling her eyes as Fionna greedily snatched a plate of her own and began loading up. "I still dunno how you managed to funk up the basic laws of physics, though. Heatin' up food with ice? Crazy biz...".
"Oh, that's easy," she responded politely between mouthfuls. "You know about freezerburn, right? Same concept. Get something cold enough and you'll actually be burning it. Fire and ice move in opposite directions temperature-wise, but still give the same end result!"
Cake shushed her and took the remaining two pancakes for herself, frowning at the full stacks she'd doled out for the others. "I didn't pay attention to Prince Gumball's science-magic schpiel, so you can bet a hundred lollipops I ain't payin' doodly to yours neither."
"You could probably stand to learn a few things once in a while, Cupcake," the queen replied testily. "Magic is a deep and ultimately rewarding subject with a lot of value and-"
"Gobbledeguck," Cake interrupted.
The queen frowned back. "It is not! It's practical, it's powerful, it's-".
"A loaf of baloney!"
"...forget it."
"Regret it!"
"Bhahah, your om fhire tohay Cafe!" Fionna giggled through a mouth crammed with chewed-up pancakes.
"Good glob Fionna, slow it down," Ice Queen said, cutting her own breakfast into smaller bites. "You're going to get a stomach-".
She was cut off by a loud burp, followed by Fionna licking her fingers excitedly. "Wow, those were awesome, Cake. You, uh...you make any more?"
"No."
"...WILL you make more?"
"No."
"Please? I've been so starving all morning."
"No."
"Why not? I'm sure snowbuns over here has plenty of food in her kitchen."
"Fionna, you've got enough food in your own kitchen! I don't wanna see you plump out like a balloon just cause ya can't control your need to feed, ya big fat weed!"
Fionna stuck out her tongue, then turned to face the queen. "You gonna finish those?"
"Yes I am," she responded, cutting another piece. Fionna watched her place each bite into her mouth slowly, but deliberately, with a defined purpose. She ate the way Prince Gumball ate, as though each piece had a distinct function, and was being decidedly sent on its way to form energy or to help a certain body part grow. Everything had a strict order. In fact, the queen did everything this way, as though anything she touched was nothing more than a game piece on the sprawling checkerboard of life. It was all a big game, and she could plan out her victory by treating everything with a dedicated purpose.
When realized she'd come to this deep and speculative conclusion solely by watching the queen eat pancakes, Fionna shook her head and dropped back into the moment.
"Okay, alright, let's get a move on here, you two," Cake ordered, tossing the empty tray on the floor. "Don't we have things to discuss or somethin'?"
"We do," Ice Queen announced, setting aside her empty plate. "Starting with what you two were doing in my private library."
Cake exchanged glances with her partner-in-crime. "...no, that's...that's absolutely not what we're talkin' about. Not at all. What're you, cracked in the head or something?"
"Yes, actually," came the response, a lone finger trailing down the still-damaged skin on her face. "Regardless, I'm fairly certain that's what we should be discussing. Now would be good."
Fionna cocked an eyebrow. "Who's running this show here, Ice Queen? Did you forget who has you pinned to your bed?"
"Fionna, this is important," the queen continued gravely. "I need to know what you know. Did you remove any books from my library?"
"What? Why? How is that even relevant?"
"It's extremely important," she continued, raising her voice a bit. "Remember how there were consequences you didn't think about when you set the Flame Prince loose? Remember that, Pudgy? This is the same deal."
Fionna glared at the Pudgy remark, but let it slide this time. "What consequences?"
"Well, that's really going to depend on what you two did in there," the queen pressed.
"Ugh, fine, whatever!" Fionna said, exasperated as she fell on her back. "We read through some of your crummy sad-romance books and Cake found a spell book with pictures of naked people in it. It's right there on the floor even!"
"...and that's all?"
Fionna threw her hands in the air. "Pretty much, yeah! Oh yeah, and I guess some random polar bear came in here and snatched off...uh, some other book, I didn't see what the title was."
At the mention of the bear, Ice Queen groaned and put a hand to her forehead. "Augh, you lead him right to the secret library? That's just fantastic, now he knows where it is! Ugh, stupid, stupid girl...".
"I KNEW IT," Fionna shouted, pounding her fists on the bed. "I KNEW something would be up with that bear! I so totally called that, didn't I Cake?!"
"Yeah, so what," Cake grunted and crossed her arms, still staring expectantly at the queen.
"...so wait, what exactly did I call?"
The queen sighed loudly. "That bear...I've been butting heads with that scavenger for many, many years now. Such a troublemaking little tramp...".
With some effort, she pushed herself up further and crossed her legs. "He's been poking around my caves, looking for...shall we say, rare items. He's like a truffle hunter, but with treasure."
"A what hunter? What's a truffle, like some kind of anteater or something?"
"No, its...puh, nevermind. He's looking for anything valuable he can get his nasty little paws on."
"Oh...so that book was probably something important?"
"Maybe," Ice Queen said, throwing her blanket aside. "Probably not. But it's the principal and subsequent consequences of the thing that really worries me. Help me up."
Fionna obediently hopped down off the bed and offered her arm. The queen was lighter now than she remembered, though her skin was no less cold. Her fingers were brittle and felt like they might snap off given too much force.
Yet for all the damage she'd endured in the past few days, she still tried to make herself appear as regal as possible about it. It was as though she refused to ever show weakness, that she could beat the odds through sheer obstinate willpower alone. Even Fionna had to respect that level of drive.
The queen steadied herself and released Fionna's hand, putting her feet apart and stretching her arms out. "Oooh, that's better...wait, ow."
"Eugh, would you at least put some clothes on?" Cake said, making a face and turning away as the queen bent at the waist to stretch her limbs. Fionna pretended to look away, not very convincingly.
"We don't really have time for that," the queen replied with a sniff. "Unless Fionna's willing to surrender that robe...".
"Fi, give it to her," Cake ordered without a moment's hesitation.
Fionna frowned back at her. "...but I'm practically nakers under here!"
"I'd rather Ice Queen be the one peepin' at you than you peepin' at her," Cake grumbled, keeping her head turned away from the queen at all times. "That's totalmente inapropro for someone with hearts in their eyes, and I don't want want any of her creeper habits rubbin' off on ya."
"Uh, yeah, no," came the response. "It's really flippin' cold in here, and I'm gonna need this robe for staying warm. And Queenie here doesn't need to stay warm. Isn't she supposed to be all about being cold anyway?"
"Truth," the queen affirmed, running her finger along the edge of another scar across her belly. "The last thing I need is my glory-bound and able-bodied hero catching hypothermia and flaking out before her impending fight."
"Yeah, well she probably wouldn't be so freezin' cold if you'd just keep your lips offa hers," Cake muttered. "...wait, what fight?"
"I'm fighting someone now?" Fionna followed.
The queen limped out of the bedroom and down the hallway toward the illusion wall. "The bear. You're going to track him down and retrieve my book, whichever one it was that he stole."
"You're really worried about this book, ain'tcha?"
"This is extremely important, Fionna, I told you already," Ice Queen said, her voice flat and stony. "I need you to take this mission with your utmost seriousness. Are you gonna be utmost with me?"
"What if I'm not?" Fionna dared to sass.
"Then you won't be getting anymore ice cream smooches," she replied with a grin, but one that quickly faded back into a grave non-smile. "Because you'll be dead."
Fionna stopped in her tracks, staring blankly into space for a moment. "Dead? Like, something's gonna murder me if I don't bomp this bear? That kind of dead?"
"That kind of dead, yes," the queen said, voice growing impatient. "Big important dead. The kind of dead where I hold your limp and lifeless shell of a body at the top of a sunset-sparkling mountain and cry out your name in bleeding anguish to the heavens because you'll never wake up again."
"Stall it," Fionna replied with a muted blow to the queen's shoulder. "Tell me what's gonna happen with this bear and book biz. And don't you skimp on the details. I gotta have details before I embark on a mission, even you should know that by now."
"Right, just like all the details you thought about before freeing the Flame Prince."
"Shut up," she muttered. "Just give me a good reason why I shouldn't just take the Cake's advice and leave you for stranded instead."
"Fine then. One long, boring explanation coming up. Make comfy your butts, if comfy upon books you can."
Sidling her way through the illusion wall, the queen coughed and ushered her guests inside, taking a seat on an uneven stack of mismatched books. Fionna allowed herself to relax a little, slightly loosening the drawstring on the robe so that it didn't dig into her stomach. She caught herself staring as the queen teased her hair back into its typical flowing, sparkling fluffiness and adjusted the straps of her bra for umpteenth time. She later remembered thinking something along the lines of "If it's bothering you that much, why don't you just take the dang thing off?" with a certain uncomfortable shudder.
Crossing her legs politely, Ice Queen inhaled deeply and looked over to her guests. "Ready? Anybody have to pee first?"
Fionna puckered her lips, then frowned. "...I'll just hold it."
"Suit yourself," the queen said dismissively. She closed her eyes, unclenched her hands, and began. "This place is old, Fionna. Very, very old. It's been around for nearly a thousand years, just like me."
"Baloney," Fionna interrupted. "You're not old. If you're so old, where's your pinchy wrinkles and your liver spots and your achin' hip, grandma?"
"Ha, those are mortal things," she replied, brushing it off her arm. "Life keeps trying to give me all of those things as birthday presents every year, but I keep throwing them in the trash without opening them. Then I shove Life face-first into the punch bowl and hold it down until it drowns. I don't take kindly to being given gifts I can't use. That's why I've stuck with this Tiara for so long...it has yet to give me a bum present for my birthday."
Fionna leaned forward a bit to listen. "What does that thing do, exactly, anyway? Like, I know ice bolts and stuff, but it feels kind of...alive, in it's own way. Is it cursed?"
Ice Queen quickly shifted her eyes back up to Fionna's. "How do you know about the alive part?" she asked sharply.
"Oh, uh...well," Fionna mumbled, threading the robe's drawstring between her fingers. "I sorta had to put it on to...well, to find you after Flame Prince did his...that explodey thing where you basically almost died."
"...so you found the Tiara before you found me?"
"Basically."
Ice Queen glanced away toward the ceiling for a moment, licked the end of her finger and slicked an eyebrow into place. Then she shrugged and carried on with her story.
"Snow is very mysterious stuff, Fionna. It's made of intricately-linked frozen water crystals. It's more complex than it looks to the naked eye. I'll bet you didn't know that there's a whole tiny world built on each and every snowflake that falls from the clouds, did you? A whole new world of dazzling wonderments like you'd never believe. Even I would never have known about them if I hadn't listened to the voice of the Tiara. Can you imagine that, tomboy? Imagine there's a whole tiny Ice Kingdom built on every single falling fleck of snow...".
Fionna shifted in her seat and coughed. "I guess that's kinda cool, but what's it have to do with the polar bear I'm supposed to go hunt down and all that?"
"This whole kingdom," the queen continued, waving her hand in a swirling motion around her, "is just that. My kingdom is a snowflake world built in our world. For all we know, our universe is just another snowflake, and every flake in this kingdom contains another kingdom with another Fionna and another Cake and another Ice Queen...".
"Or what if one of them was an Ice King?" Fionna suggested. "That could happen, right?"
"Don't be stupid," the queen scoffed. "My point is that you, Fionna, really have no idea how deep and wide my Ice Kingdom is, do you?"
"Um...I guess not?" she replied, absent-mindedly digging bits of pancake from teeth her tongue. "I mean, the only time I'm ever out here is when I'm dealing with you, so I guess I've mostly only been up this one mountain. I know there's more of 'em, but I guess I never had a reason to check 'em out?"
"Probably 'cause she doesn't want to run into YOU if she can avoid it," Cake pointed out rather spitefully.
"Exactly," came the unfazed response. "You don't even know what else is out there. Heck, I probably don't even know everything that's out there. I've gotten lost in my own kingdom before, no shame in admitting that. This place has always been a wicked winter labyrinth. But what I do know is that there are likely still dozens of treasures and relics scattered throughout it."
"Relics? Treasures?" Fionna said, face lighting up.
"Tons of them," Ice Queen nodded with the slightest crook of a smile forming at the corner of her mouth. "All kinds, scattered throughout the secret badlands of this place. You know, I always figured you two would have long since come out here treasure-hunting by now...I suppose Cake is probably right, though...nobody comes out to play while the ice witch is still kickin' around."
Fionna cast her eyes to the floor and smacked her lips. "...yeah, pretty much. I mean, why come in looking for you when we're pretty much always looking OUT for you?"
"Hmm," the queen agreed with a hinted sigh. "Still. What I'm getting at with all of this is that no matter how old this land of frost gets or how much fire damage it sustains, the labyrinths will still be there. There will always be gauntlets to travel, with treasure brimming inside each one."
Fionna pulled her knees to her chin. "Dude...even I gotta admit, that's pretty rad. I never woulda thought about raiding this place for loot at all before you just said that."
"Hold on now," Cake intervened. "That's all well and cool, but what in the name of Grod's almighty thumbs does that have to do with what you said before, about Fionna bein' dead? I thought this was s'posed to be somethin' serious!"
"It is," Ice Queen continued coldly. "The reason all these treasures exist is because that of that bear. He's a dirty thief. Steals treasures from nearby kingdoms and stuffs them in the labyrinths. I don't even know where he came from, he just keeps stealing things like he's the master of this whole domain. Never says a word, just steals things. And I definitely don't know what he plans to do with them all, since nobody ever comes around to challenge him. Something tells me it's something much more complicated than that, but I haven't been able to corner him and find out."
"Okay, so if I understand this right," Fionna said, staring intently at the floor in concentration, "There's some wack-nut bear who took your book like a crooked schmook and now it's sitting as the center prize in some super impossible ice dungeon maze."
"And that's all?" Cake piped up. "When you sum it all up like that, it doesn't make a very compellin' case, does it, Madame LeFrosty? This just sounds like a side quest dungeon crawl, not a save the world mission from Grod."
"Think for a moment, Cupcake. What other sorts of things do you find at the center of labynrinths?"
"Ooh!" Fionna chimed in. "Cool swords! Spirit animals! Master keys! Dimensional portals!"
"All correct," the queen said with a grin of approval. "Rare items of great power. But! What could be more dangerous than such a rare item if it were combined with an equally-rare book of esoteric secrets, possibly including the deepest, most complex ice magic knowledge written in the entire land?"
"A missile squid!" Fionna responded, getting into the spirit.
"...well, no, that's not what I was-".
"A living iron maiden!"
"Fionna, you're missing the-".
"A mimic shaped like a food cooler!"
"FIONNA!"
"...sorry."
The queen exhaled and pushed her hair back into place. "Now then, if Mister Bear has taken the book - let's say it's a terrifyingly powerful book of spells - and he casts a spell on an already-supercharged rare item, he might create some kind of a superweapon...or maybe a door to another universe, or Gob knows what else. And I think we can both agree, that would be a kind of maybe a bad thing, right? Hmm? For a stupid bear to wield supreme power like that?"
"Yeah...yeah, that'd probably suck pretty hardcore," Fionna admitted.
"And under normal circumstances, I'd just up and take care of it myself," Ice Queen continued, head bowed slightly forward. "But I'm rather incapacitated at the moment. I really can't do much of anything. And you're still supposedly under my hero contract anyway, aren't you?"
"Contract?" Cake asked suspiciously. "What contract? Baby, you didn't sign nothin', did you? You don't owe this hag a thing!"
Fionna cast her gaze somewhat guiltily to the floor. On one hand, she'd have liked to just say no, walk out the door back to the treehouse, play video games and eat junk food and never have to worry about the queen again. On the other hand though, she couldn't just utterly forsake her own personal oath of heroic servitude. Even deeper under the surface, whether she'd admit it to herself or not, was the part of her that still wanted to stick around anyway. The selfish, hormonal part that the queen had more or less awoken from the abyss of dormant emotions.
She pursed her lips together and breathed her troubles out slowly. The air that escaped was cold, like the hinted frost still perched on her lips.
"No contracts," she finally said. "But I'm doing this anyway, pro bones."
Cake raised an eyebrow. "Pro bones?"
Fionna put her hands on her knees and stood up. "I'm all pro for breaking some bear bones!"
The queen slipped a tiny sigh of relief and nodded. "...thank you, Fionna."
"Only one problem though," Fionna added. "How the living hecks am I supposed to go crusading through a snow maze to whomp a polar bear in nothin' but a robe and skirt without no swords or maces or even a cheap plastic wand?"
Ice Queen frowned and rose to her feet. "Hmm...I suppose you've got a point. I can't really expect you to go off dispensing justice under-dressed and out-gunned...hmm indeed."
"Don't tell me you don't have any extra clothes lyin' around for my girl here," Cake said sternly, tapping her fingers against her crossed arms.
"Yeah," Fionna joined, "What about the fresh change of clothes you brought me last time I camped out here?"
Ice Queen shook her head and began absent-mindedly nibbling on a fingernail. "Nuh-uh, I stole those from your closet while I was sleeping over at your place."
"Oh yeah...hey, why DID you do that anyway?"
The queen buzzed her off and continued thinking, pushing herself to her feet. She strode over to a shelf of books along the far wall, straining under her breath to mask the pain. Setting her index finger to the spines, she began skimming through titles, half-whispering each one and shaking her head disdainfully all the while.
"Not talkin'?" Fionna ventured, adjusting the drawstring of the robe yet again. "What a butt."
"Yes, yes, I know," the queen replied, giving a little hip shake as she bent over to read the next shelf.
"Bleh, no, I wasn't...I didn't mean...glob, stop that!"
Cake let out a tiny giggle. "Oh stop pretendin' Fionna, we all know you got a thing for the queen's booty."
"Shut up, I do not!" She pulled at the edges of her hat in an attempt to hide the blush creeping across her face.
"Big juicy stinky dirty bubble bopper buttootie," Cake teased, smacking at Fionna's shoulder with her paw. "You're so gross, Fionna!"
She moaned and crouched into a ball, pressing her face into the robe. She hadn't realized before how soft and warm the fur felt against her otherwise bare skin. Not that her face needed any help staying warm at this point.
Wait a second, isn't the queen supposed to be all about like keeping cold? Why does she have a wardrobe full of flouncy dresses and kitten sweaters and big fat fur rubes that make her all hot then? Does she sometimes get TOO cold? Like the whole so cold it burns thing she was talking about before? Well, add another thing to the List of Stuff About Ice Queen That Doesn't Make Sense...
She cautiously peered out of her hiding place. Cake grinned and pointed to the queen's rear, then stood up and bent at waist, expanding her lower body to match her figure. Fionna tried hard to stifle her laughter when Cake continued to expand, making her rump bigger and bigger. She quickly shrunk back to normal size when the queen whipped around and exclaimed, "Ugh, tell me that little wad didn't steal the one thing I'm trying to find!"
"Wuh? I don't...know?" Fionna half-asked, landing back in reality. "Whatcha lookin' for?"
"I had just been stricken by a fabulous and brilliantly resourceful idea for an outfit you could wear," she replied, giving up and leaning against the shelf. "It just needed a few enhancements...and now I can't find the book I need for that."
"Fabulous and resourceful? A few enhancements?" Fionna crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "What were you gonna do, dress me up in a chain mail bikini, but put like, an ice shield on it so my nippers wouldn't get all pokey?"
The queen grinned and snorted. "Stop giving me ideas, Fionna...no, it would've been the same shirt-n-skirt combo you always wear, just custom-modded for winter."
"...oh. Why do you need a book for that though? Did you forget how to sew?"
"What are you talking about? I don't know how to sew..." the queen grumbled. "I mean sure, I can bend projections of light with spatial distortions, provided I have the right book, but that's a lot different than holding a tiny, wretched needle between your fingernails and trying to impale it's eye socket with a sliver of floppy thread...blegh."
Cake looked questioningly at Fionna, then back to the queen. "Projections of...what are you talkin' about, bumblebutt?"
"The suit, hairball."
Fionna scratched her head. "...a suit made of light and special doorstops?"
"Spatial distortions," she corrected her. "Did you think that was real fabric? It's fake. It's not even technically physical matter, it's just a really convincing lie! If you knew the right spell, you could probably see right through it...".
"...so, whatever!" Cake shouted, throwing her paws in the air. "What's this got to do with anything?"
"I think she's talking about the suits," Fionna said, warily. "Like the Gumball one, right?"
"And the one that looks like you as well," the queen nodded.
"Hey, wait a minute now..." Cake said, trying to shrug off the thought of the queen wearing Fionna's skin. "People suits...didn't we see a book with those in it, Fi-Fi?"
"Yeah, we did! You took it away from me 'cause of naked people pictures."
Cake nodded. "Dang right I did. You don't need to see none of that stuff. 'specially not if it's from this jerk's library."
Oh please, Fionna thought. Like I haven't already seen much worse than some stupid drawings of lumpy body parts. Try fighting a blob monster that pukes up acid milk, THEN tell me how nasty a few naked people are. They're nothing! I mean gob, I've even seen Ice Creep nakers, and that was nowhere near as bad as the monster!
"Anyway, didn't I leave it on the top shelf or something? Somewhere outta reach?"
Ice Queen shot an expectant glance toward her. "Go check. Again, I'd do it myself but...hah, no."
Cake frowned and stretched herself up to the peak of the shelf. "Yup, it's still here, he didn't get it."
"Thank Gob," the queen said, relieved. "The last thing I need is some snotsicle polar bear with the ability to distort space. Can you imagine the potential havoc of that? What if he'd just start...I dunno, hiding treasures inside of other treasures or something. Horrible disaster potential. Anyway, yes, bring the book back to my room."
Using the wall for balance, the queen staggered back to the bedroom. Fionna took note of the way she still tried to be regal and dignified as she walked, despite there being an obvious limit to how regal someone wearing naught but undergarments and open wounds could look. Fionna shook her head and trailed close behind. Was appearance really that important to the queen? Why? It hadn't occurred as a particularly useful part of her arsenal, at least not counting her own experience points.
"There it is," Ice Queen said, pointing to a passage in the book and hobbling her way over to the closet. After another moment of rummaging, she produced a very familiar-looking suit.
"...wait a minute, you mean...you want me to...oh NO. No no no no No NO!"
"What?" she asked, holding up the familiar blue outfit and fluffing it out. The yellow tuft of hair flopped and dangled around like a deflated balloon. "Just think of it like a glamour charm, or a transformation spell. Nobody would even notice if they saw you. It's literally just a fake you on top of the real you."
"That's...that's just really creepy though," Fionna said with a shudder. "Too many levels of personal space invasion."
"Well, have you thought of a more practical solution?"
"Practical? You call zipping me up in a second skin that looks exactly like my first skin practical?"
"Yes, I do!" the queen shouted indignantly. "Think about the benefits for a moment! You won't be able to freeze to death, you won't lose any of your vital strength or agility, you won't lose recognition or honor as a hero...maybe it's just my twisted sense of mental capacity here, but I think that sounds pretty practical!"
Fionna almost responded, then shut her mouth. Arguing with the queen was probably a lost cause at this point. Such battles were typically unwinnable anyway, but this time she actually seemed to have a legitmiate point. There wasn't really anything more suitable for Fionna to wear into an ice labyrinth hanging around this place - fur robes were probably too bulky, dresses were poofy and restrictive, anything less and she would indeed freeze to death. She sighed loudly and hung her head.
"Just...ugh, fine, let's just go."
"Good girl," the queen said and handed her the bodysuit.
Inhaling sharply, Fionna turned around and untied the robe at the waist, trying not to imagine the queen's perverted grin behind her as it fell off her shoulders and onto the floor. She held the lifeless bodysuit in her hands apprehensively, her brain still insisting that going through with this would be an ultimate act of sacrilege and defilement to her entire sense of self as the last human being on the planet. Another voice in her head told that one to clam up and deal.
You've done weirder things before, Fionna. This is nothing. This is like taking a lightning gauntlet to a sea witch. This should be a potluck for you. Oh man, a potluck...what I wouldn't give for a good potluck right now! No, what are you doing! Food later, mission now! Focus!
She blinked and shook herself back into control. Her stomach let out a suppressed growl and vowed that vengeance would come later.
And with no further distractions, she stepped into the open back of the bodysuit, pulling the legs and arms and head into place. The back sealed up by itself, but Fionna could feel the seam like a belt stretched around her waist.
She turned around and presented herself to her adoring crowd with a shrug. "...eh, feels more or less normal, I guess."
"That's how it looks too," Cake confirmed with a small nod. "You'd look even normaller though if I hadn't seen what I'd just seen. Might have to scrub my eye bulbs clean now!"
"You might want to wait until we're actually done first," Ice Queen said, striding up to Fionna and taking her by the shoulders.
Fionna yelped in anticipation and dropped back for a well-timed reversal kick. She got as far as raising her leg back before a red flag registered in her brain. Her shoulders were still warm.
Still warm. The expected cold touch wasn't there. She knew she'd felt the queen's hand connect, but there was no stinging afterchill. Her shoulders were still warm.
"...Ice Queen, uh...why's your hand all totally NOT cold?"
"Relax," she purred. "You're still feeling with your first skin, you won't feel the things that grace against your second skin."
"Huh? Is that poetry? Are you poetrying me?"
"No, I'm trying to explain the answer to your question. My hands aren't not cold, it's just that your second skin is on top of your first one."
"My...so I can't feel anything while I'm in this suit thingy? Wait, then how come I still felt your grab just now?"
"No, it's not...it's like this," she responded, cocking her head to one side as she recited, "The inside of the suit is charged with spatial magic that dynamically expands its negative portalspace based on the amount of physical space displaced by any physical object within the outermost periphery of the suit proper. But any externally-applied force would push the peripheral ends of the suit together and force the negative space to displace appropriately, so-".
"Jibber jabber science sentence," Cake glossed with a wave of her paw. "What's that actually mean?"
The queen snapped to attention and shook her head. "It means you won't feel things like cold or heat or moisture, but if something squishes or cuts you, you'll still die."
"Oh."
"It means no matter how cold it gets, you won't feel a thing," she continued, running her hands down Fionna's willing arms. "Let's imagine, for example, that I encube you in ice. You'd be frozen in place, but your body wouldn't feel the freeze. If I stroked your cheek, you wouldn't feel the ice crystals forming. If I kissed you and got creative with my tongue, you'd hardly notice...".
"But I'd notice," Cake interjected. "And I'd crush your arms to jelly and spread it on my pumpernickel!"
Ice Queen craned her head around to glare at Cake for a moment, then retrained on Fionna. "Now then. Hold still a moment, Fionna."
She closed her eyes and parted her lips just enough for the sounds of nameless whispers to escape. Her hands slowly trailed over Fionna's body from the top down, patterns of reflective light flaring out from around her fingertips. Fionna gulped and stood perfectly still, curiously watching to see what became of her second skin.
The sleeves of her plain blue shirt puffed up and stretched down the length of her arms, wrapping around her back until the whole thing evolved into a thick blue overcoat. The queen knelt down and brought her fingers down the length of her legs, passing between them at the knees, words barely rasping all the way down to her ankles. The skirt began to bend and skew in due course, winding itself down farther around her legs, conforming to the contour of her crotch. Shoes crept their way upward, swallowing the fresh-born pants and sprouting white fur around the mouth to become snow boots. The hair on the back of her hands jungled up and spread like fire, each fiber twisting into another to form a pair of fuzzy mittens the same goldenrod hue of her hair.
And with a flourish, the queen released Fionna and fell back against her bed, completely drained and panting hard. Fionna immediately turned toward the full-body mirror and struck a pose. "...okay, I gotta admit, that was kinda cool."
"Kinda cool?" Cake snorted. "More like completely unnecessary."
"Huh?"
"She just said you can't feel the cold on your second skin, ya dope! If that's true, what was the point of dressin' you up for winter, other than a cheap excuse to feel you all up without any consequences!"
Fionna turned to the queen and frowned.
"Really, Cupcake?" the queen responded with a tired sigh. "Okay now, use your noodle here with me. If the second skin were to freeze, then it's going to be awfully hard to maneuver in, first of all. And what good is armor you can't move around in?"
"Point for Ice Queen, Cake," Fionna said, holding up her index finger. "I gotta be able to move. That's essential!"
Cake folded her arms and grumbled in response, tail twitching furiously back and forth.
"So, anyway...yeah..." Fionna said, flexing her new upgrades again in the mirror. "I got freezer protection now, that's great, but I still got no actual weapon. Am I just supposed to fistfight my way to this bear guy?"
"I had figured you could just pick up a weapon along the way," Ice Queen suggested. "It's a labyrinth, Fionna, there's bound to be some bonus weapons hidden in the chests, right?"
"But I'm going in barehanded! Barehanded bear fights don't end well. I should know, I've tried...the bear's hands always bust my bare hands."
"Oh, for the love of Gertrude," she grumbled, pushing herself up against the bed with a pained grunt. "Fine, you know what? I'll MAKE a sword for you. An ice blade."
"Ooh, that's more like it!" Cake said with a nod of approval.
"But be warned," the queen continued, a glowing icicle forming between her hands. "It's only an ice sword. It's not exactly what you'd call durable. Try to use it only if you REALLY need it, cause I'm not gonna be there to sharpen or reforge it when it some rogue snow golem or icepede smashes it to tiny little bits. And really LOOK for a substitute weapon while you're out, I don't wanna hear that you smashed this thing in the first hallway and had to fight barehanded the rest of the way cause you were in a hurry or something stupid like that."
Fionna took a deep breath and let it out slowly, jamming her hands into her pockets. "So I'm really gonna go do this for you, then. This is really a thing that I'm totally going along with because you said so. All because of a stupid book that MIGHT just sort of mean the end of the world."
"That, and I asked for your help, hero girl," the queen reminded her, running a finger along the edge of the blade to finish its edge. "Don't just casually forsake that oath you keep throwing around."
"Yeah, yeah," Fionna muttered. "Fine, whatever. I still think this is probably a trap. In fact, I'm EXPECTING one when I return."
"Whoa, whoa, hang on now," Cake said, stepping forward. "What's up with all this 'I', 'me', 'my' stuff. You're talkin' like you're goin' in solo on this!"
There was a brief pause before Fionna turned away and closed her eyes. "...I am. I want you to stay here, Cake."
"Like flop I am, girl," she snorted in response. "I ain't stickin' around here with HER while you're off gallivantin' through some awesome maze, havin' all the fun by yourself!"
"That's exactly why I want you to stay here, Cake," Fionna responded, bringing her face in close. "You and Ice Queen...you guys really gotta patch up those old wounds so they don't get all infected and-".
"NO."
"But I bet if you guys would just TALK-".
"NO."
"Cake, come on, get your sass together!"
Without warning, Cake pounced on Fionna and pinned her by all four limbs, ears flat against her head, growling from the depths of her throat. "You ain't the boss of ME, Fionna, and I am NOT gonna stick around to make up with that WITCH!"
"Not like you're any bowl of rainbow ice cream yourself," Ice Queen muttered, crossing her arms and looking away sourly.
Cake hissed over her shoulder in response while Fionna struggled to free herself. "Cake come on, this could be your chance to finally set things right with her!"
"What if I don't WANNA set things right, Fionna?!"
"Bull turds! You DO want this, I know you do!"
"You even hearin' the junk you're spoutin' right now? When have I EVER said that that's a thing I want?"
Fionna finally wriggled herself loose from beneath Cake's girth and punched her shoulder hard. "You told me she used to be like a mom to you! You even said it sometimes still hurts when you bop her! If she's still a mom, how come you don't ever talk to her? All you do is tell me she's no good and offer to kick her butt so hard it flies up between her ears! Why haven't you guys ever tried to make peace?!"
A tense silence hovered throughout the room. Cake was livid, glaring at Fionna from the moment she'd spilled the beans. Her paws were cycling through several shape changes on their own, each one angrier than the last; they went from giant fists to battle axes to menacing gnarled claws in a matter of seconds.
Fionna grabbed the hem of her sleeve and glanced back and forth between the others, trying to gauge their reactions as she shifted her weight. She felt nervous she'd said too much and really wanted to just duck out of the situation without another word. But it had also felt like the righteous thing to do, and the white fire of justice burned brightly in her soul because of it.
The queen's expression was more difficult to read than Cake's. Her face seemed more or less slate-blank, but with a hint of distance, as though she were also lost in a conflicted thought. She scratched her breast and retrained her attention on Fionna expectantly.
Since no one seemed capable of effectively breaking the silence, Fionna took it upon herself. She cleared her throat. "So...I'm gonna go and do that thing now. You two are gonna find stuff to talk about while I'm gone. And I'll be back probably by the end of the day or whatever."
She turned to the queen. "Sword?"
Without a word, Ice Queen handed her the blade and pointed eastward. Fionna nodded in response and strolled her way over to the bedroom door.
"Kiss and make up now," she instructed.
"I ain't kissin' that slush-brain," Cake grumbled. "Thought that was your job, anyway...".
Fionna rolled her eyes and spun around on her heel, the clacking of her boots on the glass-ice reverberating through the ice palace. As they gradually faded away and the awkward silence once again began filling the room, Ice Queen turned to face the little kitten that had departed her company so, so many years ago, alone together for possibly the first time since that very incident. Despite the plethora of opening lines and prescribed phrases swirling around in her head, Ice Queen chose to remain silent, waiting for Cake to take the initiative.
Another moment of tense silence passed before Cake opened with "You even think about kissin' me and I'll rip out your ice cube heart with my own freakin' claws."
"Don't worry," she responded with a ghost of a smile. "I'm sure I can restrain my insatiable lust for smooches until Fionna returns."