Mask'Charade chapter 24, Diagnosis D.I.D

BPOV

"Oh God…." I retch, then pant heavily, "Whatever I've done to deserve this, I'll never do it again. I swear." I groan as I crouch over the toilet in the ladies room at work.

I can't seem to keep anything down, and this my third emergency trip to the bathroom this morning. First, it was a simple English muffin, lightly toasted with orange marmalade that seemed to set my stomach into a state of chaos. The mocha latte didn't do much to help either.

I must've been a damned fool to think that I would escape morning sickness unscathed.

"Oh…." I moan, as I close my eyes and lean against the bathroom stall.

I'd only been in the staff meeting for a few minutes, before my stomach began to churn, and I'd found myself running out of the conference room.

I remember seeing the expressions on some of my co-workers faces as I'd clamped my hand over my mouth, before pushing away from the table and excusing myself. Some looked concerned and confused, while others, specifically Tanya, had looked annoyed. I can only imagine what she must be saying about me at the moment.

After waiting for a few moments for my stomach to settle, I finally leave the stall to splash cool water on my face and rinse my mouth.

I dry my face and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"What a mess you've gotten yourself into." I scoff, placing a hand on my nonexistent baby bump. A small smile instantly tugs at the corner of my mouth.

You make it all worth it, little one. I will protect you no matter what.

I wish it were as easy for me to see the silver lining for Ned and me, but in reality, I know there isn't one.

I haven't heard a word from him or his aunt in over a week. It's killing me to keep my distance from him, when all I can do is wonder and worry if he's alright. The one thing I can be certain of is that Ned isn't present at the moment. Edward is.

"Bella? Oh, there you are. Alice pops her head into the restroom.

"Yep. Here I am. Jillian put out an A.P.B on me?" I respond dryly.

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess."

"Are…are you alright?" She closes the door soundly and grabs a tissue from the counter, dabbing at my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't realized I was doing that." I laugh lightly, just realizing that I'd been crying. "I seem to be doing a lot of it lately."

"Bella…what's wrong? I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself these last couple of days."

I look away, avoiding her concerned gaze. I think I could possibly make up a lie, but it's pointless, as my emotions get the better of me. Besides, she has a way of seeing right through me.

"Alice…I'm pregnant." I admit quietly and without question or an explanation, she wraps her arms around me comfortingly. I break down, no longer being able to contain myself.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I sob softly.

"First things first, I'm going to get you out of here. You don't want to be caught discussing your personal business in the ladies bathroom. Let's clean you up and get you looking presentable, before we walk back out there and the vultures start circling, yes?"

I sniff and nod as she pulls back to look me in the eyes.

I glance at my appearance in the mirror to make sure I'm presentable enough to step back into the work area. Alice is right. I can't let anyone see me falling apart.

I smooth out my skirt, run my hand through my hair a few times and turn to her for approval.

"You look beautiful, as always. Are you ready?"

I nod once more, and we exit the bathroom together.

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I'm able to make it through the rest of the work day tear and vomit free. Alice offers to drive me home and stay to make soup. I wait, curled up at the end of the sofa, lost in thought, when she finally enters the room, carrying a tray.

"Man if this keeps up, I'll be able to work in your restaurant as a line chef or something. I'm getting so damned good at this cooking thing, if I may toot my own horn."

You're tooting." I laugh, but it quickly fades. "I'm sorry, but if that's your way of asking me for a job, I'm going to have to turn you down."

"Why? You haven't even tasted my soup yet!" her voice escalates an octave in mock disappointment.

"That's not what I meant, Alice. I'm sure the soup is delicious. You did learn from the best."

"Who's tooting their horn now?" She laughs, causing me to smile again.

"Seriously, the restaurant isn't going to happen, Al."

"Uh oh. Why, what's happened? Does this have anything to do with the pregnancy?"

"Not exactly." I sigh heavily and bury my face in my palms.

"Bella…we obviously couldn't get into details at work, and you were quiet during the drive home, but I can kind of sense that the pregnancy was a surprise?"

"Yes it was."

"Um, if you don't mind me asking-"

"I don't know if the baby is James' or Ned's." I cut in. "In fact, I don't know if Ned is 'Ned'!"

"What?" her face contorts in confusion.

I take a deep breath, before I explain everything that's happened. Suffice to say, she's in shock.

"M.P.D?"

"Yes. Multiple Per-"

"No, I know what it is. It's referred to as D.I.D now; dissociative identity disorder. It was one of the disorders discussed before my mom was diagnosed as being bi polar. Bella, do you have any idea what you're saying?"

"No…I don't." I let out a sardonic chuckle. "And believe me, my reaction was almost identical to yours, except…even though I know that has to be the reason for Ned's behavior, I still cannot wrap my head around any of this." I get up and pace in front of her.
"So, this hasn't actually been confirmed? His aunt told you this? You said she was a psychiatrist."

"Yes, she is a psychiatrist and no, she didn't confirm it, but what else can it be, Alice? I mean, he stood there, looking at me like I was a complete stranger! At first, I thought I was being played in some sick game, but after listening to and watching him, I realized that he wasn't the same person I've come to know."

"So you think that Ned is Edward's alter?"

"He is. I mean he has to be, or there is definitely something screwy going on. Believe me, I've hoped, prayed and pleaded with God that both Ned and his brother survived the accident and that this is all one big misunderstanding…"

"But…you know that's not the case. Bella, if all that you've told me is accurate, then I think you might be right. I say that because I've become very familiar with things of this nature when dealing with my mom. D.I.D could be a definite possibility, knowing what happened to him as a kid. Have you seen or spoken to him since that day?"

"No. I told his aunt that I would keep my distance…at least until…"

She exhales heavily and shakes her head disapprovingly.

"What, you don't think that I should? Wouldn't it be difficult for him, if I was in his face, trying to make him remember me and what we meant to each other?"

"Remembering you and the life you've possibly created together…." She whispers to herself. "That…that would be difficult for him if Edward's personality has resumed control. It could be traumatic. How much about your relationship did you reveal t him?"

"Nothing, and I promised his aunt that I wouldn't, but honestly, Alice, what am I supposed to do, continue wearing a hole in my floor? I don't know anything! I don't know if he's thinking about me, or if he's still in New York even! This could very well be his baby that I'm carrying, and I have to keep quiet about it." I throw up my hands in defeat.

"God this is so…come here…" She gets up and hugs me. "I'm here for you for anything you need. I promise. Whatever you decide, I will support you one hundred percent."

Feeling uneasy about leaving me alone after our discussion, Alice decides to stay the night. I don't tell her, but I don't think that I would be able to get a minute of sleep without her being here. Unfortunately, it only did seem like a minute, until I find myself awake in the middle of the night, thinking about Ned.

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I arrive at the eleventh floor as the elevator doors slide open. I step off and cautiously inspect my surroundings. The place is empty, except for the receptionist area, where a young woman sits behind a desk, while talking on the phone. She's too busy to be aware of my presence at first.

I look around as I make my way over to her. There's nothing in the entire place, other than the Cullen Industries logo on the wall across from me that symbolizes him at all.

"Good afternoon. How may I help you?" She greets me, as she finally ends her call.

"Good afternoon. I'm here to see Mister Cullen." My voice cracks as I say his name.

"May I tell him your name?" She asks with a polite smile.

"Oh, um, yes," I clear my throat, "Bella-Isabella Devereux."

Her smile fades marginally, as she seems to make some sort of connection.

"Um, of course. Mrs. Devereux." She scrambles to recover, as she picks up the phone receiver. "Is Mr. Cullen expecting you?"

"You could say that." The smooth, molten sound of his voice causes both of our heads to turn to where he stands in the doorway of his office. His brows rise and fall quickly, while his eyes stay fixated on mine.

"Well…are you coming in?" He asks calmly and step aside for me to pass. A lump has formed in my throat, making it near impossible for me to swallow properly. I accept his invitation silently, and he shuts the door with a resounding thud.