a thousand apologies for the very late update...i had a hectic week...presentations to do...projects to handle...plus my internet connection broke down two days ago...just got i back online...anyway...enjoy...

Much to the chagrin of most of the student body, L and Light kept growing closer over the next few days and eventually became inseparable. Wherever L was, Light was there and vice versa.

It soon became a common phrase in the school whenever anyone looks for wither one of them: "Find L, then you'll find Light."

Many of the students, especially Light's fan girls began to suspect that the two were having a relationship. But despite spying on the duo numerous times, they could not find anything in their behaviour that indicated that the two were having more than just a friendly relationship.

They decided to take matters into their own hands.

One day, when Light had to go back early for a function, they cornered L.

"What black magic did you use on poor Light-chan?" one of them demanded.

"He must have used voodoo on him!"

"He must have seduced him!"

L recoiled as they continued to hurl abuses at him. He tried to explain that Light befriended him out of his own will but they drowned him out with their shouting.

Finally, L could take it no more.

"SHUT UP!" he roared.

The fan girls were so stunned that they all fell silent. This was the first time that they had heard L shout.

"Is it so wrong for me to be friends with Light-kun?" continued L, his voice shaking. "Why do you have to oppose my friendship with him? I'm also human! I want someone to call my friend too!"

He paused to catch his breath, tears streaming down his eyes.

"Is it because I look like such a freak that you guys are against the idea? I'm not entitled to have a friend just because of the way I look? If that's true, then you all are nothing but narrow-minded, cheap and shallow bitches!"

L ran past them, crying.

He left all of Light's fan girls stunned and some of them even felt guilty.

LLLLLLLLL

L ran all the way home, crying. The moment he reached home, he threw his bag down on the floor and ran up to his room.

Once inside, he threw open the mini-fridge in his room and took out a scoop of vanilla ice-cream. Tears still rolling down his cheeks, he began to devour it.

He tried to drown out the pain in his heart with the sweetness of the ice-cream, but for the first time, it didn't work.

He needed something else.

No, he needed someone.

He needed Raito.

He needed Raito comfort him, to hold him and love him.

Letting out anguished cry, L threw the ice-cream down on the floor and buried his face into his knees and wept.

LLLLLLL

Watari was reading a newspaper with a cup of tea when he heard L returned.

He frowned.

Something was wrong. Watari just knew it.

Firstly, L didn't greet him like he always did.

Secondly, L simply threw his bag down on the floor instead of taking it up to his room.

Finally, L was crying.

Watari hadn't seen L cry for a long time. In fact, he had only seen L cried three times in his life. The first was when Watari first took the boy in. The second was after that Kira incident and this was the third.

Sighing, Watari put down the newspaper he was readingwhen upstairs and knocked on the door softly.

"L?" he said.

There was no response.

Frowning even harder, Watari opened the door.

He saw the melting ice-cream on the floor and he saw L, hugging his knees and burying his face against them.

He was sobbing.

Watari kneeled down before his grandson and placed his hands on L's shoulders.

"L?" said Watari again.

L didn't answer him.

Watari sighed.

"Eru?" he said, hoping that the use of L's Japanese name would garner a response from the boy.

L looked up at Watari with red eyes.

"Eru, what happened?" asked the old man.

L stared back at Watari, his mouth moving but no words were coming out.

"Eru…" said Watari again, but then, L spoke up.

"They were saying things about me," he said in a choking voice. "They said I did things to make Light-kun pay attention to me…they said I seduced him…they…"

L just rambled on, his eyes wide and his entire body trembling.

Watari felt a surge of anger. How dare those people hurt his grandson! L may look stoic and emotionless all the time, but in reality, he was frail emotionally.

Even more so since what Kira did or rather, nearly did to him.

But he also knew that L had to harden himself against those traumatic memories. He had to, or else he could never face the world.

"Eru," said Watari kindly, "I don't know how else to say this, but you have to stop caring about those insults that people throw at you. Those people don't know you like we do…like Light-san knows you."

L looked up at Watari.

"The way you know me?" he repeated, sniffing slightly.

Watari nodded.

"Those people are just shallow minded," he said. "Don't let them get to you, Eru. Forget about the bad things; think about the good things in your life."

"Like what?" asked L miserably.

"Like Light-san," said Watari, smiling a bit. "I haven't met him, but I could see how much he changed you. You're happy now, aren't you?"

L didn't reply, his cheeks slightly pink.

"Don't let a bunch of simple fools ruin it for you," said Watari.

L was quiet for awhile, thinking it over in his head. He realised that Watari was right. Raito had made him happier than he had ever been in his entire life. Why should he let a bunch of stupid girls spoil it for him? Watari said that there were other good things in his life. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't just Raito. There was Mello and Matt. They kept his spirits up. Near, of course…

L's eyes widened.

"Oh no," he said softly, standing up so quickly that Watari was alarmed.

"What's wrong?" the old man asked as L rushed to the door.

"I forgot about Near!" answered L as he hurtled down the stairs and out the door.

Watari smiled a bit. It seems that L was going to be fine. But what about Near? How would the boy overcome his attachment to L? Maybe with some help from that girl Sayu? Near seems to like her a lot. But then, Near may be to attached to L.

Watari sighed. He knew that dealing with Near is going to be a bit harder.

A lot harder.

LLLLLLLLL

He's not coming.

He's left you, just like everyone else did.

No one wants you.

Nobody loves you.

Not even L.

The voices played themselves over and over again in Near's head.

The poor boy was growing more and more frantic behind his calm façade. His grip in the teddy bear he always carried around was growing tighter and tighter until his knuckles were paper white.

He felt the tears coming, but he held them back viciously. He would not let them come so easily. He wasn't a cry-baby!

He looked around, certain that L was coming.

But still, his older brother didn't turn up.

"Near-chan?" said a voice that he knew very well.

Sure enough, when he turned he saw Sayu.

Sayu can immediately tell that something was wrong with Near. The boy looked as calm as ever, but she could see the turmoil in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Near just shook his head wildly and stared back at her with wide eyes.

This confirmed Sayu's suspicion that something was amiss.

"Near, what's wrong?" she asked again.

Again, Near shook his head wildly.

"No…nothing's wrong," he said in an uncharacteristically high voice. His eyes kept darting around as though he was looking for something or someone but didn't expect to find what he was looking for.

Sayu immediately knew what was wrong.

"It's very late, Near," she said. "Where's L?"

Near turned paler than usual.

"He…he…" stammered Near. He seemed to be on the verge of exploding and suddenly, he just did.

"He's not coming!" shouted Near, startling Sayu. "He just abandoned me, like everyone else did! He doesn't care about me at all! He hates me, like she did! He doesn't want me, no one did and no one ever will…"

Sayu was shocked; she never knew that Near had those kinds of thoughts in his head. She knew that Near was always a loner but apparently, there wounds from Near's past that he had been hiding from everyone.

Even her.

"Near…" she said, taking the boy's hand in her own. This seemed to calm Near down as he stopped talking at once, squeezing her hand gently. The white-haired boy looked away from Sayu.

"Near, what were you talking about?" asked Sayu gently. "What did you mean by 'like she did'?"

Near's breathing grew faster as his heart threatened to burst from his chest.

"Why would L abandon you, Near?" pressed Sayu. "I've seen you two together, I know that L loves you."

"I...I know," answered Near quietly. "But I'm still…still scared that he might…"

"Why would he?" asked Sayu.

Near was quiet for awhile, making Sayu fidget with impatience.

"You're going home now, right?" he asked at last.

Sayu nodded, a little surprise by the question.

"Will you walk home with me," Near asked quietly. "For awhile at least. It's a long story."

"All right," replied Sayu.

The two of them walked together in silence for awhile. Sayu could sense that Near was trying to find out a way to start his story. She said nothing, allowing Near to gather himself.

"I was talking about my mother," said Near softly.

"You're mother?" repeated Sayu.

"Please listen, don't say anything until I'm done," said Near quietly.

Sayu nodded and fell silent.

Near took a deep breathe and began his story.

"I'm an illegitimate child, Sayu-chan. My father was a con artist. He was interested in my mother's inheritance and tried many ways to win my mother's heart, including sleeping with her. That's how they got me. Later on, my father fled with my mother's fortune and left me and her behind in a very poor financial situation. He broke her heart and she took it out on me. She kept hitting me because I looked so much like my father. She left me alone at home all the time. I had no one to talk to; I couldn't g out because she kept locking me in."

Near paused for a moment to catch his breath and suppress the pain in his heart.

"I was so lonely, that I turned to some of the old puzzles and toys in the house to fill that emptiness. I also read a lot of books. There were no children books there, it was all adult books. I have never known any happy endings. It was all logic, facts and reality. I realised that my own existence was pretty bleak by then. But it got worse."

Near turned to look at Sayu, tears in his eyes.

"Mother come home one day with a birthday cake. She said it was for me! Can you just imagine how happy I was? My mother was going to celebrate my birthday with me for once in my life! I thought that she had finally come to love me…I was so wrong."

Near let out a hollow laugh.

"She smashed the cake right in my face and started beating me like never before. She was actually trying to break a few bones. She said…horrible things. That I was the son of the Devil; I'm a bastard, a monster and many other things. But the worst thing that she said to me was this: she said that she hated me and will never ever love me."

Sayu looked at the white-haired boy in front of her with a horrified expression. How could anyone do that to their own child? Especially one as beautiful and wonderful as Near?

"I managed to get to my room and locked the door. I stayed there for two days, too scared to leave. Then, on the third day, some men came and took my mother away and took me to a hospital. That's where I met Watari. He said all sorts of kind things to me but I was too traumatised to respond. Then…he came."

Near smiled softly as he wiped a tear from his face.

"L came to visit me while I was in the hospital. He didn't say anything but instead, he just gave me this teddy bear. I asked him if he was an angel, he just gave me that sad smile of his and answered: "I'm no angel, but I can be your big brother if you want". I was so happy Sayu-chan; I wanted a brother more than anything else. So L looked after me in the hospital and eventually got me to open up to Watari before bringing me here. I met Mello here."

Near turned to look at Sayu right in the eye.

"That's why I'm so attached to L. That's why this teddy bear is so precious to me. That's why I act a lot like a kid. Its because I'm afraid that once I've become an adult, L would no longer care for me…"

"Baka," said Sayu.

Near looked at her, uncertain if he heard correctly. "I beg your pardon?"

"You're an idiot," cried Sayu, grabbing Near by the shoulders. "You're an idiot if you think that L would stop caring for you just because you've grown up! He might stop babying you, but that doesn't mean he won't love you! I can see how much L cares for you, Near! Don't you dare doubt that!"

Near looked at Sayu with wide eyes, unsure how to respond.

"L loves you, and nothing is going to change that!" said Sayu fiercely.

Near regarded the girl before him. She was really different from the other girls. Where most of them would say what they thought others want to hear, Sayu would say things that they needed to hear.

Like now.

Near looked down at the ground and smiled wistfully. "You're right, Sayu-chan."

Then, Sayu did the unexpected: she wrapped her arms around Near and pulled him into a hug.

"I feel so jealous of L, Near," she said, burying her face into Near's shoulder. "He's so close to your heart, I want to be there too."

Near hesitantly returned the hug.

They stayed that way for awhile and would have stayed that way for a long time, but for a cold, menacing voice.

"What's this?" the voice said mockingly. "Little Near is growing up?"

Near looked up to see the voice's owner and gasped in shock.

Sayu looked at the stranger before them. He looked so much like her own brother but for the ebony hair and the scar across his face.

But the real difference was in the eyes. The stranger's eyes were devoid of any warmth and real emotions. They were cold, calculating and sparkled with malice.

"Long time no see, Near," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"No!" cried Near. "You're supposed to be dead!"

The man laughed.

"Have you forgotten, boy?" he sneered. "I'm a heartless wretch. Can't kill someone without a heart, can you?"

"Near, who is this?" asked Sayu fearfully.

"He's Kira, he tried to hurt L before," answered Near.

Kira laughed. "Who's you're girlfriend, Near?"

Near immediately stood protectively in front of Sayu.

"Leave us alone!" he cried.

Again, Kira laughed.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'm not interested in you or your girlfriend. Just hello to Eru-chan for me."

Kira turned and left just as suddenly as he appeared.

Near turned to Sayu. "I have to get back and tell L. Kira is a bad man, he's going to try and hurt L, I know it!"

Sayu nodded. "Get home safe, Near."

"You too," said Near and he quickly ran home.

LLLLLLLL

Near ran as fast as he could back home. He had to warn L. Kira was up to no good, he just knew it!

Turning a corner, Near bumped into someone and fell down with a cry of pain.

Looking up, he found himself looking up at his older brother's face.

"Oni-chan!" he cried, standing up to embrace his brother.

"I'm so sorry for being late, Near," said L, his voice full of regret. "Some people tried to hurt me just now…"

"Hurt you?" cried Near in alarm. "Was it Kira?"

L' eyes widened in fear at the mention of the name.

"Kira?" he said. "Kira is dead, Near."

"No he's not!" cried Near. "I ran into him just now!"

L felt his hear contract with fear.

"Near," he said urgently. "Tell me everything."

llllllllllllllll

uh oh...L now knows that Kira is back in town!!...what will happen iwhen these two meet??

i'll do my best to update asap...until then...pls feed me with your reviews...

next chapter coming soon...