Lexa would not see Clarke again until a week later, after the Washington had completed a secondary mission on Rigel V. During that week, the Ark had finished off their intelligence-gathering and diplomatic mission on Barisa Prime and had returned to Earth already. True to her intentions, Lexa had called Clarke once they had beamed back to the Washington.
To say that Clarke was simultaneously relieved and infuriated was an understatement. Despite suffering two hours of Clarke reprimanding her and shouting, Lexa had very innocently smiled and took all of it in. This is what she would have missed, if she had died. That thought was sobering enough to Lexa, and as she had watched Clarke rant, her face red with effort, Lexa felt a tugging sensation in her heart. The Ark captain had never looked more beautiful, and Lexa savored the moment. After the blonde had run out of things to shout at Lexa, the brunette offered her an olive branch.
"We're returning in a week's time." Lexa informed her. She smiled and looked at Clarke, suddenly shy and uncertain. With a deep breath, Lexa puffed her chest up. "I will see you at the docks, Griffin." She said decisively.
The blonde did not counter her, but simply nodded briefly and ended the transmission. Lexa tried to ignore the twinge of disappointment, that Clarke had not said more, but she resolved to make it up to the woman when they met again.
The captain of the Washington now looked out the shuttle window, watching as the spacecraft slowly made its way to the docks. Anya was dozing next to her, and Lexa prodded her with an index finger to wake her.
"What?" Anya snapped up, and Lexa put a calming hand on the older woman's shoulder.
"We're landing." Lexa began. "And you were drooling, so just giving you time to wipe the remains off before Echo sees and laughs her ass off." She added, and instantly Anya's hand went up to the corner of her mouth, where Lexa had indicated. With a meek grin of thanks, Anya retrieved a napkin from her pocket and wiped off the saliva.
"So," Anya balled up the napkin. "Are you excited to see your overly concerned 'friend'?" She winked at Lexa suggestively, and Lexa flipped her off.
"She's still mad at me, I'm more concerned for my life than anything." Lexa quipped, though there was no denying that her heart was beating eagerly at the thought of seeing Clarke's face in-person, and not through a screen.
The shuttle landed, directed by an experienced pilot to the assigned dock, and Lexa, followed by the rest of her crew, moved to unbuckle their seatbelts and gather what personal effects they had brought along on the mission.
Once the sole of Lexa's boot touched the landing dock in San Francisco she saw Clarke. The Ark's captain was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, watching with an irate expression and her arms crossed as Lexa stepped down from the shuttle. It felt like the longest walk of her life as she took careful, clipped strides down to meet the woman.
Finally making the last stair, Lexa stood before Clarke, their similar height giving her a perfect view of the other woman's face. Behind Lexa, Lincoln and the rest of her crew were filing out of the shuttle, and while they made a show of it, the captain knew they were milling about, curious to see the interaction between the two women. Lexa wanted to shout at them to leave, but she knew she couldn't. Besides, any other potential options were made impossible when the other captain spoke first.
"So you survived." Clarke commented in a falsely offhanded manner, as if she had not known before, and Lexa gulped and nodded. The blonde stared hard, a mixture of icy cold wrath and fiery hot relief painted across her face. It was clear that she was still quite mad, despite their conversation in the previous week.
"As I said I would." Lexa remarked, and Clarke's eyes darkened. Lexa could tell by the twitch of Clarke's left eyebrow and the thin line of her lips that there was much more that she wanted to say. Before she could however, the blonde's attention flicked to someone over Lexa's shoulder, and the brunette craned her neck to see what or who had distracted the woman.
"Clarke." Bellamy was still sporting his bruise, but he otherwise looked healthy and well-rested as he strode over to the two women with a grin that stretched from ear-to-ear. To Lexa's surprise, Clarke's previously annoyed visage took on a pleased and enthused expression.
"Bellamy, it's great to have you back." Clarke smiled warmly, sidestepping Lexa and Anya, who had walked up to stand by Lexa. Hazily, Lexa wondered why Anya would even think that she required any assistance, but did not bother posing that question to her at this moment.
Ignoring both women, Clarke raised both arms wide to pull the ship officer turned-intelligence agent into a bone-crushing, familiar hug. Lexa crossed her arms at the sight, a pang of jealousy stirring at the pit of her stomach at the intimacy between the two crew members. Lincoln touched her shoulder briefly, and she shrugged off his hand with a glower.
"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Captain Woods." Clarke released her officer, and Bellamy tilted his chin towards Lexa, who shook her head humbly. Lexa, for her part, awkwardly shifted her weight from one foot to the other, rubbing the back of her neck.
"It is what anyone else would have done." Lexa grunted. She scuffed the heel of her boot on the platform uncomfortably. "Well, I'm needed with the Admiral." She lied in an attempt to excuse herself. "Griffin, Blake." Lexa looked away quickly, trying to ignore the flash of disappointment on the other captain's face, and instead scrambled to turn on her heels and make herself scarce.
Lexa turned quickly, retreating to the main hangar. However, as she was striding determinedly through the crowd of Starfleet officers currently in transit, she felt a strong hand grip her bicep, pulling her to a stop. At the touch, Lexa spun around aggressively, her temper flaring and her sharp tongue already winding up to verbally thrash the daring individual. Any prepared curse words were forgotten instantly when she was suddenly inches away from Clarke's face.
"What are you doing?" Lexa frowned at the blonde. She struggled to pry Clarke's fingers off of her arm, but failed miserably. "I said I'm needed elsewhere." She repeated lamely, but steeled her words to provide them with a hard edge of purpose. Her attempts to validate her alibi were all in vain however, if the look Clarke gave her did not make it abundantly obvious that she was not buying that excuse for one second.
"Captain, if I could have a word in private." Clarke said. Her voice was firm; it was a command, an order, not a suggestion, and Lexa knew it. She sighed, and resigned herself to her fate.
"Of course, after you." Lexa responded tiredly, gesturing with an open palm. Clarke, with her hand still tightly gripping Lexa's bicep, steered her through the busy platform with a strong palm resting on the small of her back to ensure that she could not escape.
Once they had broken free from the crowd, Clarke dragged her over to an empty corridor, finally releasing Lexa's arm. The blonde spun around to face the other captain, and Lexa could tell she was fuming.
"You're not allowed to do that." Clarke practically snarled, and Lexa was taken aback with astonishment.
"Not allowed to do what, exactly?" Lexa frowned, crossing her arms. Clarke huffed loudly, running a hand through her loose hair.
"You're not allowed to just storm away like that." Clarke said, mimicking Lexa and crossing her arms. "You're not allowed to get jealous, not when you brushed off my concern a few days ago."
Lexa released a low groan. "Clarke, I know that I might have been quite short with you, but you were questioning my ability to lead my crew." She defended herself. "I have been commanding the Washington for years now, and my judgement is more than sound." Lexa stood tall, lifting her chin imperiously. "It was the right decision."
"But that's not the problem, Lexa." Clarke shot back. "The problem is that, in that moment, you didn't even stop to think about what you were doing to us." Lexa clenched her jaw tightly, uncomfortable, and Clarke, while noticing the woman's discomfort, forged on ruthlessly. "You didn't die this time, but the more you put yourself in harm's way, the higher the chances are."
Lexa frowned, and she raised an eyebrow. "Us?" Her hands dropped down to her sides. "Clarke, I – "
"Lexa I want you to be my girlfriend." Clarke blurted, the words spurting from her lips so swiftly that Lexa almost did not catch them. The brunette's eyes were wide in surprise, the words jarring and sobering.
Lexa had not dated anyone in over four years. At best, she was woefully out of practice, and now as Clarke, the woman who had been haunting her even as she had prepared to fight on Andoria, made clear her intentions, Lexa did not know what to say. She opened her mouth, but at a loss for words, she closed it. Just as she was about to form the words to express her astonishment, Clarke put a hand up in the air to stop her.
"Don't say anything yet." Clarke started. "It's just-" She paused, looking down at her toes. "I was very worried about you, and after you told me what you were going to do, I…I just couldn't think about what it would be like to lose you."
"Clarke, you didn't." Lexa said in a valiant effort to placate the blonde, but the woman shrugged off her attempt.
"No, you're alive, and that's what scares me the most." Clarke admitted, and when she finally glanced up to Lexa, the brunette saw glistening blue eyes, soft and vulnerable as they appeared to stare into her entire being, making her feel as though she were naked and bare in front of her.
"I don't understand."
"You know, for a smart person, you can be so stupid!" Clarke snapped, and with the blink of an eye, the blonde's face was contorted with annoyance. Then the fight seemed to leave her, and her fury in her eyes faded, and she ran her hands through her hair.
Lexa only watched, uncertain of this tempest, this fire that burned before her, volatile and unpredictable. She raked her mind to find a way to soothe Clarke, to make them okay again.
"Lexa, what is this?" When the brunette returned her gaze with a puzzled frown, Clarke tried again. "Are we just friends with benefits, lovers," Clarke threw her hands up in the air for emphasis. "What the hell are we?"
Then everything seemed to connect together within Lexa's mind, and suddenly all the different emotions that the blonde had shown her made sense. Lexa had tried hard to fight the feelings that she had for Clarke, had pushed them down, and compartmentalized until she could not hear them. Yet the mission had seemed to have dug out that buried chest and opened it, leaving Lexa baffled and unsure of what to do with them now.
She liked Clarke. That much was true, and an easy fact for Lexa to admit. What she had not been willing to compromise with however, was the internal war between her head and her heart. She had always assumed that Clarke would not want a relationship, and logically a relationship with another captain could cause too many other issues to count with two hands. Chiefly, they would have to declare their relationship officially to Starfleet, and all that trouble had Lexa wondering if this was a logical option for them.
And the smaller voice inside her head, the one that she typically ignored, called desperately for her to voice her thoughts. Her head had thrashed her heart in countless battles in an almost lazy fashion, yet here she was, her heart edging out the win in the last few seconds.
"Clarke, I like you." Lexa's voice was hoarse, and Clarke, who had been rather diligently inspecting her cuticles, glanced up, staying otherwise silent. The lack of response urged Lexa to elaborate, and she rose to that bait ready and willing. "To be blatantly honest, I liked you the second you walked into that bar and sat down next to me." The words felt foreign and unused in her mouth, yet they seemed to curl out from her tongue at their own accord. "Clarke, I've never had someone care about me the way that you seem to, and I'm sorry if I came off as cold and emotionless." She clasped her hands together as if in prayer. "I just, I don't know how to react to it, but I'm willing try." Lexa nodded cleared her throat. "I want you to be my girlfriend too."
Lexa met Clarke's eyes, her gaze unwavering and certain determined. She knew what she wanted right now, and it was this woman standing only inches from her. Clarke didn't move, and for those terrifying seconds, Lexa's heart pounded heavily against her ribcage.
"Lexa, I care about you a lot." Clarke whispered. "I care more than I should really. I didn't want to either, but I did, and when I heard about the Ushaan, I couldn't breathe."
"I know now, and I'm sorry for worrying you." Lexa began. "But I won't apologize for my actions." She lifted her chin proudly despite herself. "I did what had to be done, it was the right course of action." Lexa took a deep breath. "Clarke, if you want to date me, you have to get used to this part my job as well. This is what we do, Clarke." Clarke examined the hard set of her jaw, fixed her eyes on Lexa's sharp and stubborn face, and then finally nodded.
"Okay." She finally said, and the blonde stepped forward, their noses brushing, and closed the distance between them. Their lips meet softly, gentle and affectionate, and Lexa's stomach did numerous back flips. Clarke's hand went to her waist, and Lexa cupped the blonde's neck, bringing her closer to deepen the kiss.
At the touch of Clarke's lips, Lexa felt grounded, happy and complete. Whatever existence she lived before she had met Clarke simply could not compare to her current circumstance, right now, here in the landing platform kissing the most passionate, intelligent woman she had ever met. Any reservations she had previously were eliminated with each brush of Clarke's lips, with each gentle touch along her side, soothing the cut on her side, pulling her close until Lexa did not know where she started and where Clarke began.
Her hands were mollifying and healing, running over her body, the hard edges, and the curves to soothe wounds, past, and present. Under her touch, Lexa felt rejuvenated and new, healed after a long, difficult 25-year journey that was her life. Yet it seemed, life for her had not ever truly begun, not until Clarke walked into that bar. Lexa would not call this feeling love, not at this moment; this was still a romance in its infancy, and as a quarter Vulcan, while she maintained a cool mask, her emotions ran strongly. Such premature declarations would scare off a regular human like Clarke. She would not say it now, but one day, Lexa would allow the word to leave her lips. Now, she simply enjoyed the taste of Clarke and of her tongue, exploring the expanse of Lexa's mouth, leaving the brunette feeling incredibly warm and raring for more.
The kiss was broken abruptly when they heard the announcer over the sound system, calling for the members of the USS Ridley to board their assigned shuttles. The sound had startled them both, Lexa jumping a few feet away from the blonde in alarm. Clarke let out a gentle laugh before pulling Lexa close to her, their chests and hips pressed up against each other.
"Hi." Clarke whispered gently to Lexa, pressing her forehead to the other woman's cheek, nuzzling her affectionately with her nose.
"Hi." Lexa echoed, and she wrapped an arm around Clarke's shoulders possessively. They stood there, relishing in the other's company, until Lexa decided to break their moment of quiet. "So…we are dating now right?"
Clarke chuckled, and she kissed what little of Lexa's neck was exposed under the collar of her grey uniform. "Yes, we are numbskull."
"So…you and Woods, huh?" Octavia smirked and nudged Clarke. They were seated together awaiting debriefing with Admiral Kane, the two of them being the only ones in the empty waiting room. Clarke elbowed Octavia in the side.
"Yes, I said yes two times already." Clarke rolled her eyes, and Octavia had to contain her excitement.
"I love this so much!" She clapped her hands with joy. Clarke let out a short puff of air. Octavia was acting like Christmas had come early.
"Keep your pants on Octavia, it's not like we're getting married." Clarke quipped, although she had to stifle a smile that was beginning to creep up one side of her face.
"Doesn't matter, the two most badass captains of Starfleet are officially in a relationship!" Octavia crowed, standing from her chair and knocking it over in excitement. "It's like a match made in heaven!"
Clarke attempted to wear a disapproving look on her face at her first officer's antics, but a grin tugged at her lips regardless. "Okay O, just calm down." The younger woman bent down to right her chair again, and when she sat down, she was still bubbling.
"You two are basically a power couple." She continued with the same enthusiastic voice. "And Lincoln and I are calling dibs for you two to come over to our place for Christmas, okay? No backing out." Clarke snorted, laughing as Octavia went on babbling. As overwhelmed as she felt because of Octavia's words, she also could not contain the happiness that threatened to bubble over every time she thought of Lexa.
"You're Clexa, the kickass super couple of Starfleet." Octavia said, which markedly caught Clarke's attention.
"I'm sorry, Clexa?" Clarke wrinkled her nose in distaste at the sound of the portmanteau. "O, you're 23, stop acting like a crazy fan girl from middle school." Octavia chortled, and Clarke added. "And you are not calling us that."
"Too late Cap!" Octavia grinned. "Raven, Anya, and I are hooked on it, that's what we call you guys in our group message board," Octavia informed Clarke with a shit-eating grin, and Clarke wanted to put her in a head lock, "and I got Lincoln to refer to you two by that name last night at dinner." She put two raised thumbs right in front of Clarke's face, and the blonde batted them away.
"We literally just started dating officially last week, and you already started calling us weird couple names?" Clarke gawked, and Octavia doubled over in her seat in laughter.
"Oh please Griffin, you're practically glowing right now!" Octavia gestured to the blonde's face. "Anya and I are already placing bets for when you two are going to shack up and get married." The younger woman put one hand behind her ear. "I can already hear the wedding bells!" She sighed in a mock-dreamy voice.
"Wait, you two did what?" Clarke was balling up her fists in preparation to punch Octavia in the thigh, but before Clarke could even put her plan of attack into action, the door to Kane's office opened, and his Regelian secretary poked his head through the entrance to address them.
"Captain Griffin, Lt. Commander Blake, the Admiral would like to see you now?" He announced gruffly, and Clarke stood quickly, pulling her uniform top to smooth a few wrinkles.
"Thank you." She said politely, and after shooting Octavia a censoring glare, the two were led down the smaller hallway to meet Kane.