He woke up to the smell of toast, and heard a string of muttered curses.

Blinking groggily, Souji rubbed his eyes and slowly propped himself up on his elbows, glancing around in confusion as Adachi wasn't in bed. He observed the room past his sleepy haze, realizing it was extremely bright outside before he was squinting at the alarm clock on his bed-side table. His eyes widened in shock—10:17, it read.

About to throw the covers off, he froze, the events of last night suddenly flooding over him like a wave. He sunk back down into the covers, staring at the ceiling blankly, blinking slowly as the scene unfolded in his mind. It felt so distant, like it had been nothing but a bad dream. Recalling the events—not being able to fall asleep even after Adachi did, slowly leaving the bed and doing his best not to disturb his sleeping boyfriend. He went to the living room and sat on the couch, picking at the furniture. The pacing around the apartment he did moments later was hectic and disjointed—he remembered it feeling like he was floating aimlessly, rounding the apartment multiple times until he stepped back into the bedroom, staring at his lover on the bed who was now sprawled out and drooling onto the pillows.

It was the perfect opportunity, he thought, Adachi wouldn't have to see a thing. He'd see the aftermath, of course, but there was no helping that. Adachi deserved better than him. Adachi needed better than him. He loved the man with all his heart, and he knew Adachi was the same with him, but there was so much Adachi would be able to do without him. He was nothing but a freak. A useless freak.

He didn't register the fact that he was crying when he walked back into the living room and ripped out a piece of blank paper from one of Adachi's books, only noticing when his tears fell on the paper and stained into the ink of his hastily written message. He returned to the bedroom, hesitating before he quickly opened the drawer with Adachi's gun, snatching the weapon and putting the note in it's place. The glass of water shook with the force, and Adachi mumbled. Souji froze, heart hammering as he watched Adachi closely, the man smacking his lips in his sleep before resuming to breathe through his mouth.

He continued to watch his sleeping lover, cradling the gun to his chest as his heart clenched in guilt. He was going to hurt Adachi so much by doing this, but... it would be better. It had to be better. There would be no more pain for either of them. Adachi would love again, but Souji barely had the chance to love the first time. He barely had the chance to love his only time. He was a wreck—constantly paranoid, terrified, petrified. He loved Adachi with all his heart, but his heart was mortified by the world.

He didn't remember walking back to the living room, he just knew he was sitting on the couch, looking down at the gun. The tears fell onto the weapon, bouncing off in nonrhythmic splashes as he trembled. His lip quivered heavily as he put it up to his temple, finger hovering in front of the trigger. He shut his eyes and went to pull the trigger, only to freeze. He couldn't do it; it would break Adachi's heart. He was going to hurt the man he loved so much. The gun was back on his lap as he cried, and he tried to calm himself. It would be better this way—it had to be. Even Nanako and Dojima would get over him. Yosuke and Chie and Kanji, everybody would forget about him. He didn't need to be remembered by them. Everyone was better off with him gone.

He was useless.

He sat there, staring down at the gun, listing off reasons why it would be better for everybody if he just pulled the trigger. He went through everybody he knew, saving Adachi for last. He was finally starting to calm down when he got to Yosuke, his tears dried and his body relaxed. The gun gleamed in the light of the lamp he didn't remember turning on, and he was finally starting Adachi's list.

He deserves better. He will find better. He can find anybody. He's a detective, and you're useless. You don't even have a job. He wastes all of his money on you. You know he wants to surprise you with a cat for your birthday, and you know he doesn't have the funds for it. He hates seeing you sad. He wouldn't have to see you be sad ever again...

"Souji."

He jumped, breathing heavily as he was brought out of his memories. He looked to the doorway in a panic, Adachi looking at him worriedly before rushing over. The plate he was carrying was placed on the table as Adachi crawled onto the bed, sitting him up and holding him by the shoulders.

"Are you okay?" his question was filled with so much love and concern, Souji found his lip trembling.

"I'm an idiot," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm s—"

Adachi interrupted, pulling Souji into a kiss. He wanted to wrap his arms around the detective's neck, but they lay uselessly at his sides, his mind going blank as he melted into the kiss. It was filled with desperation and warmth. He was such a fool. He would have broken Adachi's heart. He didn't deserve that.

The kiss ended softly, Adachi giving him the smallest, warmest, shakiest smile he'd ever seen as he whispered, "No more 'sorry'. No more calling yourself an idiot, okay? C'mere, I made us breakfast."

"But I always—"

"You deserved the rest. C'mon. You make it better than I do, but I tried real hard. If we both hate it, we can throw it out and call for a pizza."

Souji squinted in amusement, "At ten in the morning?"

Adachi shrugged. "Sure, why the hell not? Oh, I kinda burned the toast," he chuckled as he grabbed the plate and rested it on his lap.

True to his word, the toast was blackened considerably, and the bacon overly crisp. The eggs looked perfect—even better than his! But, something was missing... Souji snickered, before he found himself laughing, doubling over and resting his head on Adachi's shoulder. He could feel the older man pouting.

"Heeey! I tried really hard, and you laugh at me? You wound me, good sir!"

"N-No! No!" Souji looked back up and wheezed between laughs. "Y-You forgot to butter the toast! We can't just have plain, kinda-burnt toast!"

Adachi opened his mouth to object before his brow furrowed in disappointment as he whispered, "I forgot the coffee, too..."

The man quickly slid off the side of the bed and walked back into the kitchen, Souji gasping for air as he flopped onto the mattress, clutching his sides as he couldn't stop laughing. Tears were rolling down his face, and his cheeks were starting to hurt from how much he was smiling. It wasn't even that funny, but he found it hilarious.

He heard Adachi step back into the room, the mattress shifting as he sat back on the bed. He heard Adachi curse and mumble something about water before he felt the man lightly poke his shoulder.

"I don't want you choking on breakfast now. Up, up!"

Souji coughed, taking deep breaths and looking through his blurred vision at his boyfriend. He was an angel. He was his angel. When he calmed down and regained his breathing to semi-normality, Souji slowly sat back up and snatched a piece of toast, now covered in jam and butter and just a tad cold. Taking a bite, he froze immediately at the look Adachi gave him, before he chewed after a moment. A shudder shot up his spine and he had to look away from his boyfriend, staring into the abyss as he chewed the burnt bread. It looked better than it tasted...

He finally managed to swallow the bite and placed the rest of the piece back on the plate, smiling apologetically. There was a short moment before Adachi erupted into laughter.

"The look on your face!" he hollered, and stopped his laughs to apparently do his best imitation of the expression Souji had pulled before his laughter resumed. "If it was that bad, you could have just spit it onto the plate!"

"But that would have been rude!" Souji pouted, and snatched a piece of bacon. He bit it off at the halfway point and froze. It was good like this. It was really, really good like this. It was really good like this. He grabbed the rest of the pieces before Adachi had time to react and scarfed them down, puffing his cheeks out as he talked with his mouth full, "You're making the bacon from now on."

His speech was muffled and he accidentally spat a piece onto Adachi's cheek, and he was unsure if Adachi could even understand what he'd said. He was sure the man had gotten the gist of it, though, and the two found themselves laughing again once he'd swallowed the mouthful of bacon. The rest of the breakfast was filled with more laughs and the two grimacing at the taste of the eggs and coffee, leaving them on the table when they fell back to the middle of the bed and simply held each other.

Silence and calm filled the air, Souji concentrating on Adachi's breathing, the sound of his heartbeat from where he rest his head on the detective's chest. He found his eyes fluttering closed, embracing the atmosphere, calming into the fingers Adachi was brushing through his hair.

"I think I want to talk to my therapist again," he heard himself say. "I'll ask my mom if she can give me some m—"

"You're not gonna ask her for anything."

He lifted his head, glancing at Adachi warily. "Bu—"

"Ssh." Adachi smiled, placing a finger to Souji's lips. "It's okay. I can afford it."

Souji glared, and Adachi's perfect smile faltered into a hesitant, "Okay, maybe not completely, but I'll find a way to do it. We don't need her help."

Souji pushed Adachi's hand away and pouted. "But she has so much money, she'd probably give it to me right away if I just said it was for food. Lots of food. The entire supermarket." He paused, before slinking away from Adachi and sliding off the bed. "I'm gonna go phone her right now and ask for the money to buy a supermarket."

"Hey—w-wait!"

Adachi called after him and Souji bolted, laughing as Adachi was quick to chase him. The two ended up in the living room, Souji squealing as Adachi finally managed to catch him, lifting him up and twirling him around until they collapsed on the couch in a heap. Adachi turned him so they were face to face, and Souji could see his dark eyes were lit up with nothing but life and love. He looked into those gorgeous eyes before closing his own and leaning down for a kiss. It was light and soft—like the whispers of a lullaby.

He broke away after a moment, opening his eyes only for his heart to lurch in panic at the sight of Adachi crying. Adachi must have noticed his sudden panic, because he calmly stroked Souji's cheek, before brushing some stray hair behind his ear.

"I'm here," Adachi whispered, the softest smile encasing his lips. "You're here. We're both here, and we're going to be okay."