WELL!

Been awhile hasn't it?

Life gets at ya sometimes,
you know?

I don't have much to say now so I will just get on to the story.

Optimus found this patrol rather quiet. Not like the other patrols he been on weren't, but this one just had that different silence to it. This silence had an emptiness to it, a hollow feeling that even as the wind beat at his windows it could not fill the void. Optimus tried to push back this void by trying to think about something but only one thing would come up.

And that thought alone only made that dark feeling deeper.

The thought that came to Optimus mind was Juliana. How he knew that she was never coming back and how the image of her lifeless body would creep its way into his mind. The image of her long blue hair no longer having that shine to it, her eyes fogged over, her body covered in cuts and bruises, and no matter how much Optimus fought it his mind would always create this.

Pulling off to the side of the road, Optimus parked and decided to wait a moment to calm his nerves.

He didn't want this to happen. He had made a vow to protect all who were in his care here on earth and so far he wasn't holding up to it. First it had been Cliffjumper and now Juliana had joined that growing list. Optimus knew that in war there would always be casualties but at the cost of someone so young it made his spark ache.

"Nice night out, isn't it Optimus?"

At hearing the voice, Optimus turned his attention to the skies and saw the one mech he did not want to see.

Megatron was flying high above and from the way the Decepticon warlord was going around in circles it looked as though he wanted to be followed. Getting Megatron's message, Optimus began to follow him away from the road and out into the vast wilderness of Nevada.

After a while, Optimus decided that this was far enough and transformed, already bring out his blaster and ready for anything. As the Prime stood and waiting, Megatron soon joined him on the ground and stood before the Autobot with a displeased expression.

"You have something that belongs to me." Megatron said as the two rivals began to circle.

"I have nothing of yours." Optimus responded. "But you took something from me and I will do anything to get it back."

Megatron looked confused for a moment but that soon disappeared as he let out a dark chuckle. "You mean the little human? Dear Optimus, I did not know you cared so much for just one insignificant organism. Let alone a street rat like that female."

The circling soon came to an end as Optimus lashed out at Megatron with his sword. Anger and hatred were boiling inside the Prime and at hearing Juliana being disrespected in such a way it made his emotions boil over.

At seeing how Optimus reacted Megatron let out another laugh. "My, my Optimus, all this retaliation just for me stating the truth? I did this pathetic world a favor, one less useless lifeform to worry about."

Surprising Optimus with a kick to the back, Megatron watched as the Prime went flying off and landing into the ground. Walking over to him Megatron then press his servo onto Optimus' back and kept him to the ground. "Now I will ask nicely, you have something that is mine, and I want it back."

"As I said before, I have nothing of yours." Optimus said as he shoved Megatron off of him. "But if you are referring to the youngling your followers brought us, then you shall never have her."

"Youngling? Now Optimus, Experiment Cybernize is far from being a youngling. Last I checked she was only a sparkling." Megatron said and then something clicked in Optimus' mind. From the way Megatron was putting it, it appeared to be that he did not know of Luna's condition.

"What was your plan to do with Luna?" Optimus asked and it only made Megatron laugh even more.

"So, you've gone and named her. I am surprised; I thought after having sprayed the Nemesis' walls with the human's blood you would have done nothing with the experiment."

If Optimus' mind wasn't overcome with pain before, now it was. With the word Megatron spoke his mind created for him what had become of Juliana. Nothing could be salvaged, her precious face now gone and covering the Decepticon ship's walls. Optimus could almost imagine Juliana's screaming in pain as Megatron pulled out his claws from her tiny body.

That was all his mind could take before he fell to his knees and tried his hardest not to cry in front of the Decepticon leader. His weapons retracted as well as his face guard; leaving him exposed to Megatron.

Seeing this, Megatron stepped closer to Optimus but at gaining no reaction from the Prime he scoffed. "You are weak Optimus." Megatron said as he grabbed said bot's face in his servo and made Optimus look at him. "I could slay you now and I know you would not put up a fight, you want to know why? Because you allowed yourself to get attached to one individual, treated her as if she were your life line, and allowed her to die."

Optimus' mind told him to get up and fight, punch Megatron in the face or do something, but his body refused to move. His spark was racing and it pained him too much to even think of moving from his spot on the ground. Looking into Megatron's optics, the optics of Juliana's killer, he wanted nothing more than to end him here and now but the pain he was feeling wouldn't allow it.

"This happened once before, remember Optimus. You showed the same affection to Eltia-1 and look what happened to her." Megatron said as he ran a digit over Optimus' face, leaving a scratch mark. "History has a funny way of repeating itself Optimus, looks as if you did not learn your lesson."

Shoving the Prime into the ground, Megatron turned his back to the Prime. "My better judgement tells me to kill you Optimus, but where is the fun in killing my enemy if he does not fight back?"

And with that, Megatron took to the skies and flew away. Now alone Optimus watched as dark clouds began to roll in and observed the rain as it fell. In a way the weather was imaging how his spark felt. And for a while, the Prime just knelt there; allowing the rain to just wash away his troubles.

But his troubles would never go away fully. He would forever be haunted by the memories that racked his mind and it seemed as though Megatron was right. History was repeating itself.

First he had lost Elita-1 to the warlord, now he had lost Juliana.

How many lives did he have to watch die before he gained the peace he wanted?

.-.-.-.-.

Ratchet was beginning to worry.

Optimus had been gone far longer than a normal patrol would take and not once had he called in. The medic understood that if trouble should pop up the Prime would call in for back up but even then Optimus would call every so often to just tell where he was.

Figuring that Optimus just needed some time alone, Ratchet pinched the area between his optics; a habit he had picked up from the humans. Did he blame Optimus for wanting to be alone, no. With everything that was going on, a silent drive did sound good to the medic.

But knowing that he could be needed at any time here at the base Ratchet stayed where he was. Peering over his shoulder, Ratchet saw Arcee sitting down next to the human children and Luna. The older femme was braiding the youngling's strange hair, with directions from the children, while Lune slept silently in Arcee's lap.

The sight was, even to the stone cold Ratchet, adorable. Luna was lying on her stomach plating, with a couple of digits in her mouth, while Arcee attempted to braid while Mike and Jack helped. Raf was in Luna's other servo resting. Another surprising thing was how gentle Luna was with the humans. The way she had Raf snuggled up to her one would think the worst could happen. But with the way her digits wrapped around the small human, in a protective hold, the worries disappeared.

In truth, Ratchet thought that having Luna with them was great in a way. It was far better than her staying with the Decepticons and someday becoming their enemy, but something about the youngling shook him the wrong way.

The hair was probably the biggest factor; both that it was abnormal for Cybertronians to have hair but also the fact that it looked so similar to Juliana's.

Juliana… just saying her name hurt.

Ratchet was starting to wish that they had never met Juliana. Yes, he enjoyed the time and memories he had with the human but if they had never met her more than likely would still be alive. And Ratchet would accept the fact of having no memories at all of Juliana and then her being dead.

Sighing to himself, Ratchet was about to go back to work when the sound of someone driving in through the entrance was heard. Turning around, Ratchet watched as Optimus slowly drove in and transformed. Right away the medic noticed the scratch on the Prime's face and how miserable his expression was. And apparently everyone else did too.

"You okay Optimus?" Jack asked as he paused in braiding a strand of hair. "Something happen?"

"No, nothing happen." Optimus said but his voice betrayed him as it was quiet and distant. "I appreciate your concern, but I am fine."

"You don't look fine." Arcee said as she made a move to get up but then remembered who was sleeping on her lap.

"Yeah, you look like you had one too many bugs got squashed on your windshield." Miko said and at that everyone looked at her with a confused look. "What? If I was a transforming robot and I had bug guts in my vision I would be down in the dumps too."

But it wasn't bug guts Optimus' mind was envisioning. And no matter how much he wanted to voice his troubles he knew he had to stay strong for his team. That was why he took so long coming back; when Optimus knew he was alone it was the only time he truly showed his emotions.

"I think rest is what he needs." Ratchet said as he stepped into the group. "I think we all could. I take it the humans are staying?"

"Sleeping bags, pillows, popcorn, the works." Jack said as he pointed to the entertainment area and showed their backpacks stuffed tightly. How Ratchet had missed those he would never know.

"… Very well, but done stay up too late and please be quiet." Ratchet said as he lightly removed Raf from Luna's hold and handed him to Jack. "We don't an angry youngling crying all night just because you three were watching some idiotic scary movie."

"One time," Miko said irritably. "One time I bring in Earth vs. The Spider and you won't let it go."

"I agree with Ratchet," Optimus said as he picked up Luna and allowed Arcee to stand. "Younglings can be troublesome when awoken."

"Don't worry Optimus. I'm playing babysitter tonight. I'll make sure they stay quiet." Arcee said as he carried the humans over to the couch to allow them to set up their stuff.

Once the femme was out of ear shot, Ratchet turned to Optimus. The Prime was looking down at Luna with a reserved look and calmly running his digits through her hair. Ratchet hated to say it but he knew that look. Optimus was known to show that look whenever someone he cared for deeply was ripped away from him. And it worried Ratchet.

"Come to the med-bay, we need to talk." Ratchet said as he led the Prime to the med-bay. The room was empty, which Ratchet figured it would, and that was what they needed. Optimus was not one to talk about his emotions but Ratchet knew Optimus was more open to tête-à-tête with him over anyone else.

"I had Bulkhead build Luna a makeshift youngling cradle." Ratchet said as he pointed to a corner of the room. "Don't know how long it will do us any good, seeing as we don't know how long she'll stay that size."

"Thank you Ratchet." Optimus said as he placed Luna in the cradle. Once Luna was in the cradle Optimus let a smile escape him. The youngling looked so peaceful, and Optimus could help but be happy knowing that even during war life was continuing on. But then that happiness faded as he remembered what happened earlier tonight.

"As the humans put it: Spill Optimus." Ratchet said as he watched the Prime slowly turn to face him. "I know something happened when you were gone so don't tell nothing did. You have a scratch on your face and I can name a servo full of Decepticons who could do that."

Optimus knew he was trapped. Ratchet was more observant than anyone else he had met in his life time and it was a bless and a curse. It was a useful talent when working on an injured or sick bot but when someone was trying to hide something Ratchet could be, for better words, a pain in the neck when he wanted answers.

"… I ran into Megatron," Optimus began. "And I told me… somethings."

"What kind of things?" Ratchet asked.

"Things about… Juliana." Optimus said but quickly dropped it. "And a few things about Luna."

At hearing the human's name, Ratchet began to have some hopes. Maybe there was something the Decepticons knew that they didn't. Perhaps, even maybe, Juliana was alive.

"Megatron didn't bring up Luna's ailment, in fact, he might not even know if it." Optimus started. "And he called her Experiment Cybernize."

"I have no clue as to why that could be," Ratchet said, with a bit of hast. "but tell me what he said about Juliana?" Optimus looked to the ground; it was obvious that he did not want to speak on it and that concerned Ratchet. "Optimus?"

"I would rather not." Optimus said but Ratchet was having none of it.

"I want to, no, need to hear it Optimus." Ratchet said as he stepped closer to the Prime. "Now tell me before I pull my medical rank on you."

Optimus knew he was in a corner. The medic would quit till he was told, even when Optimus knew that he didn't need to hear it. But he had no choice.

"Megatron told me what happened to Juliana." The Prime started. "How he… killed her."

Ratchet had thought up a couple of things that Optimus was going to say… that was not one of them. Finding himself taking a step back, Ratchet shook his helm. All his hopes, with just one sentence, had been blown out the window.

"He told me, how he sprayed her… Juliana all over the Nemesis walls." Optimus said softly, his servos cupping his face. The pain he had been feeling coming out in his words that were no longer being held back. "He killed her. Megatron killed Juliana. And he said it to my face and I did nothing about it."

Ratchet's words got caught in his throat. His breathing became jagged. His mind was going at a million miles an hour and yet the only thing he could do was see Juliana's beautiful face being burned away in his mind. And that once perfect smile of hers was now replaced by the image of her screaming in pain.

"No…" Ratchet said as he turned away and used the wall to support him. "This… this can't be true."

"I do not wish to believe it myself," Optimus said, still not looking up. "My spark is holding onto the smallest of threads in hopes that what they say are lies but… after what Megatron told me, my mind betrays me with images of what happened."

Ratchet didn't say anything. He was afraid that if he did his tanks would bring back up the energon he consumed earlier. Instead the medic found himself racing out of the med-bay. He couldn't stand it any longer, to Ratchet all of this was a bunch of lies and sooner or later Juliana was going to come back. But his mind was fighting him; telling him to stop believing in lies.

As Optimus watched the Medic leave, he found himself look back at Luna. She was resting soundly with her hair partly braided while the rest was messily covering her face. Using his digits to move some of the hair back, Optimus let out a sigh.

"I want to make you the same promise I did for her," Optimus began. "But I am afraid to young one, it seems as though Primus has cursed me to be alone. Because when I do make that promise they all leave me."

But Luna did not respond. Just gave off a tired coo as she continued to sleep. The mini-con's optics turned on at this point and stared up at the Prime; almost saying 'I know you can't make that promise'.

"What am I to do?" Optimus said as he looked away.

The pain in his spark throbbing with the knowledge that he learned today.

The knowledge that his life was never going to be happy.

I hate to be a meaner and stop here but I think it is a good place to pause.

Don't worry,
I promise next chptr does have some insights.

So please bear with me until then?

Until then,

Girl Supersonicboy OUT!