Man, I Feel Like A Woman
Chapter 1
(3rd Person POV)
(XXXX)
It was a bright and sunny morning as rays of sunlight flitted into CM Punk's hotel room causing the sleeping champion to stir. The previous night hadn't been much fun for him, after being rejected numerous times by several women at the bar him and his wrestling buddies had been at, he had come back to the hotel room feeling absolutely putrid. The champion had automatically climbed under the covers of his bed and fell into a deep slumber.
Punk stirred as he heard his alarm go off knowing full well and good, Elizabeth would rip his head off if he wasn't ready on time. He never understood why he always felt the need to feel superior to the PA; she had never done anything to him except try and aide him in his crazy life he led as a WWE superstar. Maybe it was just the way she went about getting the job which angered him or the fact Vince offered her a job in the first place, whatever it was the two just hadn't seen eye to eye from day one.
But that was all about to change as Punk scooted out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take care of his morning business, he didn't bother to look in a mirror until he got to the bathroom. His sweat pants felt a bit lose around his waist; he figured he was just losing weight from the diet he was on. His shirt also felt a bit tighter around his chest than usual, which was odd, but he didn't think much of it until he glanced into the mirror and saw what looked back at him.
When the champion looked up into the mirror, it wasn't his reflection he found looking back at him. It was a black, pixie haired woman with green eyes, a lip ring on her bottom lip, soft cheek bones showing, dark bags under her eyes, and a long, but rounded face.
Punk immediately started to hyperventilate; he had to be dreaming, he just had to be. There was no way this was happening to him. It was like something out of a comic book. He really needed to rethink the things he read before bed from now on because it caused him hallucinations of being a woman.
"Get a grip, Phil," Punk said speaking more to himself than anyone else as a small bell like voice came out of his mouth shuddering at the sound, "Stuff like this can't happen in real life, there's no way. You're just dreaming. Ellie's going to burst in here any second and wake you up to go to an interview."
Sadly for Punk, everyone knows in dreams you can't get hurt so when he tripped over the crappy throw rug in front of the bathtub, he knew all too well this was real and happening to him.
As the champion took a deep breath and stared at the reflection in the mirror he began to mutter once again, "Alright, if I look down and I have… them," he shuddered, "Then this is all real."
As Punk looked down at his chest he found he had… them. It was real, this nightmare was all real!
And with that Punk let out a shriek that pretty much woke up the whole hotel, broke a few glass windows-which needed to be repaired a while ago, and caused a whole flock of birds to fly out of the apple trees in front of the building.
(XXXX)
Ellie snuggled closer into her comforter content with the warmth of the bed not wanting to get up or go anywhere. Sure, she had to meet her boss in a few hours for his interview, but she was in no rush this morning. She might as well enjoy a morning of not having to do clean up duty for Punk's one night stands since they were rare and far between. Until Ellie heard an ear shattering scream Melina would have been proud of from back in her MNM days.
The personal assistant sighed and started to cuss out Punk silently. Was it too much to ask for just one day of not having to clean up the WWE Champion's messes? What higher power thought it would be fun to mess with her life by doing this to her?
As Ellie pondered these questions, she hurriedly got dressed pulling on a pair of decent looking jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, while tying her hair back in a ponytail, and trying to make herself look professional as could be so this poor woman wouldn't sue the WWE. If Vince knew the amount of girls Punk had been leaving for Ellie to clean up after, he surely would have reduced Punk to a jobber again by now, but sadly Vince had bigger problems to worry about.
Ellie dug through her bag to find the extra key card she always got to open Punk's room. She always got a spare in case Punk forgot something in his room and Ellie had to run back to get it. It was one of the few things that Punk liked about having a PA he once had told her. She was kind of like his minion who had to do anything he said. They had also agreed they should get hotel rooms next to each other so neither of them was late… while so Punk wasn't late and Ellie made sure every freaking time.
She headed for Punk's room grabbing her own key card and shutting the door. It was going to be the usual routine of clean up duty like it always was, knock on the door if no answered, go in, and go console the poor girl, then take her to go get coffee, ask her if there was anything else she could do to help and let the poor woman be on her way. If they got really unruly, Ellie would just cut them a check for one thousand dollars and then they would happily be on their way, making sure they did not speak of their episode to the dirt sheets.
With a gentle tap of the door several times and no answer, Ellie slid the key card in and turned the door knob opening the hotel room so she could get in.
"Hello, is anyone in here?" Ellie called out as Punk heard her, recognizing the voice of his personal assistant immediately stopping his fuming and deciding it would be best to hide from her. The last thing he wanted was anyone to see him like this. As Punk slowly tried to hide in the bathtub behind the shower curtain did Ellie open the door.
"Hello?" Ellie called again, "I heard screaming and I came to apologize for my boss being such a total douchebag to you."
Punk cocked an eyebrow at that statement; he wasn't a total douchebag to Ellie was he? And why would she need to apologize to someone anyway?
At that precise moment did Ellie open the curtain to find Punk… while the female version of Punk anyway… sitting slunk down in the bathtub looking a bit scared of everything around her.
"Hi," stated Ellie as she knelt down to Punk's eye level, "My name's Ellie and I'm CM Punk's personal assistant. I'm so sorry he left you here this morning, but you see Punk is a very busy man and sometimes forgetful. He just doesn't seem to think everything through like most guys. I'm so sorry this happened to you."
Punk turned to look at her, eyes wide and head cocked to the side. She thought he was one of his conquests from his night out, really?
"If there's anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask," Ellie explained as she glanced at the woman in the tub taking in her features and noticing that she had many of the same tattoos that Punk did too. He would just find a girl obsessed with him to have sex with… figures.
Punk knew what he had to do. He had to tell Ellie it was him because eventually she was going to find out and he'd rather it be sooner than later because he had no idea of how to devise a plan of attack for his current situation or what to do, let alone what to wear?! Hey, some people of have their priorities, okay?
"Ellie," squeaked out the small bell like voice causing Punk to wince. Ellie looked over at the girl with a faint smile on her face and nodded her head.
"Yes, dear?" questioned the redhead as she looked at the other woman.
"I have to tell you something, and when I say tell you something please don't freak out, just please believe me." The young woman begged as Ellie nodded her head, a bit confused by the girl's statement.
"Did Punk hurt you?" questioned Ellie with a cocked eyebrow, "If he did, I swear to God…"
The pixie haired girl shook her head and made direct eye contact with Ellie as she took a deep breath.
"Elizabeth," said the girl, "I'm Punk."
The dead silence between the two for about the next three minutes was quite uncomfortably as they stared at each other. Ellie blinked at the other girl for several minutes as well and then finally burst out laughing at the stranger.
"Hahahahahaha," gasped Ellie between breaths as she heaved from laughter, "Who put you up to this, AJ? Honey, I'm so sorry, but you look nothing like the Punk I imagined in girl form."
As Ellie continued to laugh, Punk grew angrier and glared at the PA. There was only one way to prove anything to the girl and it was by having her listen to what he said.
"Elizabeth! Listen to me; I am the WWE Champion, CM Punk, your boss! You are Elizabeth Smith, my PA. Your best friends with Raw's GM AJ Lee, you have a notebook you use as my planner which you refer to as 'The Bible of Punk,' you've had a crush on Randy Orton since you were sixteen, you hate polka music, you love to read especially Nicholas Sparks books because their sappy romances, you will yell at the Minnesota Vikings during a football game, and you will cheer for the good guy in a wrestling match no matter what even if you already know the outcome."
Ellie had ceased her laughing and was now staring absently at the girl sitting in the bathtub. The PA began to back up against the cold wall opposite of the tub. Mouth open agape and a little scared for her safety by everything this woman knew about her.
"Punk?" questioned Ellie a bit suspicious.
"Yes, Elizabeth," answered Punk.
"How," Ellie said motioning to Punk's change of gender.
"Trust me, if I knew, I would totally tell you, but I don't." Punk sighed as she ran her hands through her short hair. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"I don't know, but until we figure this out we're cancelling all your appointments and taking you to my room. You can't be a chick and walk around like this."
Punk cocked his head about to question the PA, but he recognized the glare of a superior woman immediately as the WWE Champion followed the other woman out the door.
"So why did you envision me as a woman? And did I look hot?"
"SHUT UP, PUNK!"
(XXXX)
CM Punk sat staring at his breakfast plate as though it had grown legs and was starting to walk away. He tried not to listen to Ellie as she spun a fabricated lie over the phone to Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Punk doubted that his boss would buy the excuse he couldn't come in today because he had turned into a woman, hell he wouldn't even buy it.
"Yes, Vince, I understand, but from what Punk told me he ate some really raw chicken at this shady Mexican place the guys went out to last night." Ellie said slightly distressed as she began to rub her temples listening to Vince's response, "Yes, the doctor says he won't be good to go until Friday."
Ellie contently listened as Vince hemmed and hawed about how it was going to cost him seats without having Punk on the roster for the week's shows and public appearances. Eventually, the Chairman broke and granted Punk a mini vacation due to his recent bought of food poisoning.
"Oh, thank you, sir," Ellie graciously replied, "Yes, I'll make sure he gets to next week's Raw. Have a great day, Mr. McMahon. Yes, I'll tell him you say hello when I see him next."
With that, Ellie hung up the phone and turned to look at what was sitting before her. She was having a nightmare, it had to be. Men just don't change into women in a night. Punk kind of looked like himself, but alas didn't. He had the tattoos and piercings similar to the male version, but that was where the similarities seemed to stop. He had a dark pixie haircut that slid over to one side, big doe like green eyes, and was about the same size as Ellie. Then there was the fact that, Punk now had boobs. Heck, she didn't even sound like Punk. Ellie shook her head and snapped the phone shut as she turned to look at her companion.
"Vince bought it, we got a week to figure this out," she sighed in relief as Punk looked up at her with a frown, "What?"
"Nothing," Punk said as he went back to staring at his food, "This is all just so, so…"
Ellie extended her hand and grabbed Punk's which had a really nice manicure, "Weird?"
"Yea, weird…" Punk trailed off as he spotted two wrestlers headed straight toward Ellie, "We got company. Elizabeth, please tell me you have a cover story for my absence."
Ellie winked at Punk as Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins approached the table. Seth smiled brightly as he saw Ellie, Punk had never noticed the way the man looked at his PA, it was odd, and he wondered if Ellie had ever noticed it.
However, he noticed Ambrose eyeing him up and down, wait was he checking him out? Punk physically shivered as the two stopped and struck up a conversation with Ellie.
"Morning El," greeted the younger superstar, "Where's Punk, shouldn't he be whipping you or something for not bringing him his coffee and comics?"
Ellie laughed and shook her head, refusing to look at Punk, who now had a scowl affixed to his face.
"Sick, the doctor said he caught a very serious case of Dingo Fever," Ellie said as the two wrestlers looked at her confused by the illness, "It makes the person insanely crazy and he was puking everywhere this morning when I walked in to check in on him. Doc Sampson has put him under quarantine."
"I hate you Elizabeth," growled out Punk as the two wrestlers attention was turned to the woman.
"Whose this lovely lady?" questioned Ambrose with a smirk and glint in his eyes as he looked at Punk who physically shivered at being checked out by the former WWE United States Champion.
"Uh… guys this is my cousin, Brooks. She's visiting for the week," Ellie explained as Punk folded her arms and shook her head. With a swift kick to the shin, Ellie instructed Brooks to say hello.
"Ow-I mean hi guys," stated a cranky Punk.
"Nice to meet you, Brooks," said Seth as he struck up another conversation with Ellie about the show tonight. He wanted to know if Ellie would go to dinner with him and she tried to avoid the conversation. However, Ambrose's attention directed strictly to Punk.
"It is my pleasure to meet you, Ms. Brooks," said Dean as he took her hand and kissed it. Punk wanted to punch him, but knew better. He had to play along with this charade until he (and Ellie if she got her act together) could get him back to normal. However, as Dean pressed his lips onto Punk's hand, the big man's eyes rolled back into his head and fell forward onto Punk.
Punk's breakfast went flying landing on Ellie, who couldn't believe Punk. Seth attempted to clean her up, but quickly she pointed to Dean, who was pinning Punk to that side of the booth. When Seth lifted Dean up, who was still unconscious, Ellie looked at Punk with an ominous look.
"I didn't do anything," cried Punk.
"Yea, sure you didn't," muttered Ellie, "Seth… Brooks, let's take Dean up to my room. It's the least I can do, plus I think he's going to have a hell of a headache when he wakes up."
The Shield member and the male turned female wrestler nodded at the PA as they got up and headed toward the elevator, but what they didn't notice was what was happening to Ambrose as they carried him up to Ellie's room.
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