Man, I Feel Like a Woman
Chapter 2
(3rd Person POV)
(XXXX)
"I think Dean has been working out and losing weight," muttered Seth as he carried his brother down the hallway toward Ellie's hotel room. Ellie shrugged at the Architect of the Shield not really knowing, or caring, about Ambrose's work out habits. She was still trying to deal with the problem of Punk turning into a woman. Little did she know, Dean Ambrose was about to become her problem too.
As Ellie slide her keycard the door unlocked, Seth quickly threw Dean onto the bed like he was a sack of potatoes or a rag doll more than his brother. Out of the corner of her eye, Ellie could see Punk standing in the doorway annoyed and still a little freaked out by what had happened with Ambrose earlier. Slowly, the PA approached her boss and patted her shoulder along with a sympathetic smile before turning back to Seth, who was in the bathroom getting a cold towel and glass of water for Dean.
Ellie had hung out with the Shield brothers during many late nights waiting for Punk to finish taping a promo or doing a late night interview so he wouldn't have to get up early the next morning. One night, Punk had to catch a flight and taken her rental car since he hadn't had enough time to grab one of his own, as she sat on a crate contemplating ways to get to the hotel did the Shield brothers notice her and were quick to offer her a ride. Seth and Roman hit it off with Ellie immediately, but Dean was hesitant to trust the girl. Seth had told Ellie many times since they had met that Dean didn't make friends easily, but when he did they became extremely close. Dean was wary of Ellie from the beginning and just like the relationship she had with Punk, Dean's was exactly the same with her too. So when she heard a small feminine voice speak from under the blankets she was pleasantly surprised.
"Ugh, what happened I feel like I got hit by a truck," muttered the short dirty blonde haired woman as she rose from where she was lying on the bed. Punk and Ellie exchanged a look at each other while looking the woman up and down. The girl was wearing the same exact outfit Ambrose had been earlier, her hair was messy and looking like it needed to be straightened, and she had the same crazy glint in her eyes as Dean would have, "Why do I feel weird?"
Before Ellie could say anything, did Seth turn around the corner from the small hotel bathroom into the room. The glass of water he was carrying fell to the ground when he looked at what was sitting in the bed before him. Seth's mouth fell open as he slowly turned to look at Ellie. Ellie knew Seth wasn't stupid. Seth saw all the same features of his brother in the young woman sitting on the bed before him.
"Okay, Seth, Dean, I need you guys to not freak out," stated Ellie calmly as Seth continued to open and close his mouth like a fish out of water as Dean hadn't yet noticed the extent of the situation, "So the girl over there is not my cousin, Brooks, but um… uh… it's actually Punk."
Dean let out a snort as he shook his head with a laugh, "Sure, El that's Punk and I'm one of Roman's raging fan girls."
"I'll think you'll believe that once you take a look in the mirror," mouthed off Punk with his arms crossed and standing on the opposite side of the room. Dean looked over at Seth who shrugged and Ellie, who awkwardly smiled at the leader of the Shield.
"Ellie, give me your compact mirror," Dean ordered as Ellie blinked at her rapidly.
"Uh Dean, I don't think that's such a good idea," started Seth, but Dean held up a finger and gave him a dirty look that said she would kill him later if she had too. Seth shrugged as Ellie handed him the mirror and proceeded to give it to Dean, however Seth did not want his brethren to see what had happened. The youngest member of the Shield took a deep breath as Dean popped open the compact mirror.
"3…2…1…"Punk muttered as the she, Elisabeth, and Seth all covered their ears to the high pitched, screeching erupting from a now female Dean Ambrose. If there were any windows Punk hadn't cracked earlier in the morning, surely window pane was now busted in the hotel.
(XXXX)
AJ Lee was having a good morning. There were pancakes (her favorite type of breakfast food) at the breakfast buffet. She had gotten in a morning workout and even had time to read one of her favorite comic books from beginning to end in one sitting which rarely happened. Through all of that she had also found time to screw with the Bella brats by pulling a few pranks on them involving chicken feathers and glitter. Life was looking grand as she walked through the hallway back to her hotel room. However, AJ heard shrieking as she was about to reach her floor; the shrieking was sounding like someone had gone up to a chalkboard with long fingernails and was wailing it.
The voodoo witch knew exactly what it is from too. An evil smile spread across the Geek Goddess's face as she decided examine her handiwork and even mess with Punk since she had cursed him. After all, the WWE Champion had insulted her by calling her crazy multiple times over the last several years. She figured he deserved everything that was going to happen to him. So AJ snapped her fingers transporting her to inspect the handiwork of her voodoo.
Gosh, this morning was turning out to be pretty awesome and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet.
(XXXX)
"Dean Ambrose is not female!" yelled a female Dean Ambrose as he chucked pillows at Seth and Ellie, who were trying to calm down the wrestler as she stood on the bed shrieking at the two. Punk had somehow joined Dean on the bed and was screaming with him too. Ellie and Seth, who were now on the receiving end of this, were not happy about their current situation.
"How did this even happen?" questioned Seth as he stood behind the redheaded woman taking cover from the aggressive females in front of him. "Are we stuck in some wacked out comic book universe, like men become women just to screw with our minds?"
Ellie sighed and shrugged. She loved Seth; she really did, but right now was not the time to try to find logic in their current predicament. They, or rather she, had to try and calm the other two women down without anyone going completely bonkers, although, she was pretty sure they were already there. Before Ellie could do anything though, did a purple cloud of smoke and glitter materialize between the four people as Punk and Dean ceased fire to examine the cloud.
"Ahh….ahh…achoo…."
"When do ominous clouds of doom sneeze?" asked Punk as Dean looked at her and shrugged. Ellie locked eyes with Punk, who placed the pillow; he was ready to throw at Seth, on the bed. The young PA was sure they were about to get some answers about what the hell had happened to Dean and Punk.
As the dust cleared and the cloud continued to have a coughing attack did someone appear; that someone being none other than AJ Lee. Everyone's eyes in the room widened and grew five sizes too big for their heads while staring at the geeky diva and Manager of Raw.
"Hey guys, what's up?" greeted AJ like nothing weird was going on such as her just emerging from a purple cloud of glitter and smoke standing in Ellie's hotel room.
"This day just keeps getting weirder, doesn't it?" muttered Ellie while shaking her head.
"Oh El," said AJ with a smile, "You should be enjoying this. I mean Punk is getting what he deserved after all his womanizing and insults over the last year. Now the shoe is on the other foot, so where is the little prima donna?"
"I'm right here," muttered Punk as AJ turned around with a smirk plastered across her face. The female Punk was everything she had imagined and more. AJ was quite satisfied with her work except there was one problem. An additional female stood beside Punk. She would recognize that shaggy mop of hair anywhere as she snapped her fingers and realized what she done.
"Damn, I put way to much juice into that spell," announced AJ, "Sorry Ambrose…"
Punk and Dean's eyes widened in anger as they shouted simultaneously at the diva, "You did this?!"
AJ shrugged as she picked at her finger nails absentmindedly, "Yea, you like? I know I certainly do. Don't you guys think I do good work? I'm sure Great Grandma Beatrice is extremely proud of my voodoo and witchcraft skills. I mean, sure the spell was meant for Punk to teach him a lesson about his womanizing ways, but getting you too Ambrose, is just too sweet."
Punk clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth growling at the young voodooing geek diva, "April change us back to normal…NOW!"
The diva smiled sweetly at the WWE Champion and turned to look at Ellie and Seth. An idea popped into her head and quickly became apparent as she stared at the two. Everyone except the PA and Shield Architect knew they would make the cutest couple. Everyone knew Seth liked Ellie, but Ellie was too blind to see it. With that AJ was able to create the requirements to change the wrestlers back to normal or in their case somewhat normal before she changed them into women.
"I'll change you back, but," AJ answered and trailed off with hesitation and a certain spark shining in her eyes and twisted smile crossing her face.
"Why do I not like that look," questioned Dean in a worried tone as he looked to his friends, who only nodded their heads in agreement at what he had just pointed out.
"Because I'm a voodoo witch and can change you into a frog if I really wanted too," AJ explained as she digressed from her explanation, "Listen up you two lovely ladies, if you want me to change you back you're going to have to prove you can help another woman in any situation no matter how dire. You are going to need to learn women are not to be over sexualized or stupid monkeys, I'm looking at you, Punk. Women are just as smart and strong as men. We work together to ensure life continues to prosper. Once you learn that, I will change you back."
"No, absolutely not," stated Punk, "We have SummerSlam in two weeks, you have to change us back. Plus we have to be at Raw and SmackDown on Monday and Tuesday!"
"He… uh… I mean she… has a point, AJ," said Ellie speaking up for the first time in the middle of this conversation, "I know you wanted to teach Punk a lesson, but I think this takes it a little too far, even for you. I also don't think Dean deserved to get sucked into this."
AJ shook her head disappointed at the personal assistant. Ellie may think this was useless now, but AJ was positive she would thank her later. As AJ put her finger on her chin tapping it and pretending to think for a few seconds she answered Ellie, "My answer is still no, but they have until SummerSlam to do what I require of them and if they fail they remain female for the rest of their lives."
"WHAT?!" screeched Dean and Punk together as Ellie's eyes grew wide and Seth's mouth fell open.
"You heard me, if you fail to help another woman by SummerSlam you remain women for the rest of your lives. So two weeks, it will be fun and I'll catch you guys on the flipside I got a plane to catch in order to make it to the next house show. See ya!"
With that AJ disappeared in another purple cloud of smoke leaving behind a flabbergasted audience.
(XXXX)
"What are we going to do?" wailed Punk as he sat crossed legged on Ellie's hotel room bed looking frustrated and glum as ever. "I don't want to be stuck as a woman for the rest of my life; I can't defend the WWE Championship like this!"
"You're telling me, the Shield is three brothers, not a two guys and a girl! I can't compete like this, that's nuts plus the double triple power bomb can't be executed onto anyone," exclaimed Dean, who was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room.
Seth watched as the two wrestlers went back and forth about their current predicament. However, the young wrestler's attention turned to the woman in front of him. Ellie was propped against the wall of her hotel room rubbing her temples. Rollins could tell the PA had a headache the size of Montana coming on which was certainly understandable after everything that had happened since she got up this morning.
"Here," said Seth as he handed her two Ibuprofen and a glass of water, "Take these and drink this. How are you holding up?"
Ellie sighed. She wanted to give Seth the 'I'm pretty sure I've gone crazy and should be thrown into the looney bin answer,' but she didn't. She looked at the two tone warrior and smiled gently while patting him on the shoulder.
"I'm okay, this all just so…" she gestured to out in front of her and trailed off when looking at Punk and Dean shaking her head. Seth laid a hand on her shoulder and smiled.
"Weird," answered Seth while shaking his head.
"Exactly," stated Ellie while staring at her boss and co-worker, who were two full grown women, "Why couldn't AJ have turned them into something easier to handle like puppies? I like puppies."
Seth chuckled quietly as he turned his full attention to Ellie, "We need to figure out a plan of what to do. I know you said Vince bought the whole food poisoning thing this week, but what about next week?"
Ellie sighed she hadn't gotten that far in her head yet, she was still trying to wrap her brain around what just happened with April. Of course, Seth was trying to help her, but there were things that needed to get done now. When they got to next week that was when they would worry about it. Right now, they had to deal with their current situation.
"Let's just hold off until we know exactly what the heck is going on," answered Ellie as she turned to look at Dean and Punk, "Right now, I think our first priority is getting them some decent looking clothes. I know none of my stuff will fit Dean and Punk had problems fitting into some of my clothes this morning. I'll take them to the mall to get them some new ones and other stuff. In the meantime, you find Roman and tell him what's happened."
Seth started to laugh at the girl, "You aren't serious, and you want me to tell Roman that Dean, our brother, has been turned into a woman? Yea, El, that's gonna fly real well with Ro."
"Seth, the more help we have on this the better and hopefully faster we'll get them changed back to normal," pleaded Ellie, "Plus, Roman's into weird sci-fi stuff like this, maybe he'll have some ideas to change them back, please."
The wrestler gave in when he saw the PA's puppy dog eyes immediately come into play. Of course, he couldn't say no to her now. Seth nodded his acceptance of the fact he had to go find Roman and explain the current situation to him. He was worried Roman was going to think Seth should be classified crazy, but once he saw for himself what had happened he was sure life would become a lot easier. It was like El said the more help they had, the somewhat easier it would be.
As Seth exited the room to go find Roman, Ellie turned to the two girls sitting glumly in the corner of the hotel room. A soft smile spread across her lips as she pulled out her purse and marched over to the other side of the room.
"Come on guys," she said grabbing them by their retrospective wrists and yanking them behind her. Ellie had no intention of letting them sit around and mope for the rest of the day, they had stuff to do.
"Elizabeth, where are you taking us?" questioned Punk as he stopped being dragged by Ellie and begun to keep up with her. Quickly, Dean followed and adapted in the same style as Punk.
With a glint in her eye, smile on her face and spring in her step, Ellie responded positively to the two women, "The mall."
(XXXX)
*a/n: Thank you to all the lovely people who have left reviews, followed, and favorited the story. Your feedback keeps me honest and motivated to write! Also special thank you to caylendar, who without her this story would have never seen the light of day!