Operation Seduce Sirius - The Day of Giving Thanks
Sirius Black was in a ponderous state. He had been like that ever since he'd "come forth" in front of his now friend-cum-lover Remus Lupin. It had all been concluded in the best possible outcome for the two of them. So what could possibly be troubling his mind and leaving him thinking about bothersome things? Well, the problem was that there were issues. Firstly, he'd been reduced to lurking in the shadows, stealthily eluding, or in reality as it was, flat out avoiding one James Potter. Second of all, this had been going on for five days, and living in the same dormitory, taking the same classes, and basically being two peas out of one pod, didn't help very much. He knew that his behaviour was quite obvious and he'd run dangerously close to the risk of being confronted on several occasions. Every time he glimpsed or accidentally ran into James, Sirius saw that a confrontation was indeed nigh, and he breathed a sigh of relief every time James ignored the problem for yet another day. Remus Lupin however, did not seem equally pleased.
"Don't tell me you're still embarrassed about punching him? Because I promise you, he'll think you've done some even more horrible things behind his back if this… this lurking, keeps up."
Sirius winced, a sick sort of twist that Remus found awkward, and very beginner's like. "It's not that simple." Sirius facial expression returned to the more normal sulk.
"Why not?"
"Well," he hesitated "you know me Remus."
"Yes…" Remus said while thinking the exact opposite, because he had no idea what Sirius was getting at.
"I can't just go up to him and say "Hello Prongs, what's up? Life's treating you well since I nearly broke your nose? Oh and by the by, a huge thank you hooking me up with Remus. We are very much happy recreating and coupling in our dorm when you are off with Lily. And how is she? I've been avoiding you, you see, so I wouldn't know-"
Remus put up his hands. "Stop. I get it. Just stop." He paused. "So what do you want to do?"
"I've been thinking about that."
"Thinking? You?" Remus leaned back on his hands were he sat on Sirius's bed in their dorm.
"Don't get smart with me Remus John Lupin. I'm a master in the fine art of sarcasm."
"Hmpf. Very well, please do continue."
"Let's give him a bit of a surprise. Say next Saturday. We can easily get the remaining Gryffindors to chip in for a lot of Firewhiskey. And for the first years; Butterbeer." He rolled his eyes towards the heavens.
"You mean a party in the common room?"
"Right on. Hey, why are you laughing?"
"It's nothing, really. I'm just a bit relieved." Sirius cocked a questioning eyebrow.
"I thought you were gonna do this big gesture in the middle of the Great Hall." Remus explained. "A howler, or a standing homage to Prongs or suchlike. I'm just happy you have some sense left in you," he said and snickered.
"Oi! What did I just say about getting smart?"
"The horrors of retaliation, I'm ever so scared."
"That was disgustingly sarcastic of you."
"Your observation ability is amazing," Remus said unrelenting. A hint of a growl erupted from Sirius's throat at the continued teasing from his lover. He stood up so that he towered over the sitting boy.
"You're doing this to set me off, aren't you?"
"Oh I'd never dream of it." Sirius leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "Never even crossed my mind actually," Remus continued, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. By now Sirius was looming so close their faces almost met.
"Shut up." The words came as a deep growl from the back of his throat. Remus took on the challenge and put up his chin in a pertinent manner. Smiling deviously he said, "Make me."
Sirius understood perfectly; this battle was his loss. Not that he minded what Remus was implying, but the thoughts that came spinning into his head and very quickly travelled further lower in his body to firmly settle there, did not really seem as enjoyable if Remus would keep quiet during it's proceedings.
"You truly know how to rile me up don't you," he said, and pushed Remus slowly but with enough force to pin him down on the bed and settled himself on top of him.
"And get you off too, I hope," Remus said while fumbling with the zipper on Sirius pants.
Sirius bent lower and murmured his reply close to Remus ear "Hrmm, most definitely…" and let the rest of the sentence trail off into kissing.
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"Sirius is a moron." That was the greeting Remus received when he some time later sat down in front of James in the Hall for supper.
"How can I-" he caught himself and instead thrust his fork far out in front of him pointing at Remus, "How can you! How can you stand being with such a moron, imbecile, and everything else that is the stupidest thing in the world!"
Remus eye twitched.
"Uhm..." Remus found himself without a proper answer. He hadn't really counted on finding a fuming James, irresponsibly waving forks around. But he had a reason for coming here, so he said "But Sirius – I mean, not Sirius, I meant to say me," he corrected quickly. "For Sirius doesn't want you to know anything of or about him, and it really would be best for you to forget he ever existed, but I need the map. For personal use."
"You need it? What for?" James said shortly.
"To check for, um, private places. Or not." he added, just to give James's brain something to try to block out from imagining, thus keeping it too occupied from prying, all because Remus was bad at making even worse excuses.
"If I give you the map, you absolutely have to promise to keep out of the dorm. I know. Fifty minutes ago I knew." Remus restrained himself from smiling, remembering what James thought he knew. That poor brain had handled enough for one day, and no need for him to make things worse at this point.
"You have my word."
James scowled, but obligingly handed over the map.
"My sincerest thanks."
"Umpf."
Even though the hall was crowded, it seemed like a bubble of some impenetrable silence had formed around them, and Remus picked at his food. When he couldn't stand it any longer he said, "So, where's Peter?" and cleared his throat in an awkward way.
"Detention," James said reluctantly. "We tried this thing." He paused. "Well, anyway it all kind of went wrong."
"And…"
"Sirius and I do that kind of thing all the time!" James exclaimed. "Trying to mess up each others spells and potions, or experimenting as we like to call it, and then the other one has to try to fix it before it sometimes, uh you know, blows up." Remus knew all too well what James meant, seeming as it had been concluded a long time ago that Remus wasn't the sort of person who indulged in that kind of experimenting. Once, late in their first year, they'd tried to include him in their mischief-making during class, but all that came out of it had been panicked students, a blown up cauldron and landing all four of them in detention. Remus opened his mouth to comment, but James cut in before he had the chance.
"But Sirius, being a moron, wasn't even in class today, and if he was I sure as hell didn't see him. I'm beginning to think the teachers are in on it. Letting him attend other classes for the sole purpose of keeping us apart. But they'll miss us when we're out of here. Their lives will be all dull and only teaching and nothing will ever be exciting anymore."
Remus doubted it, but kept it to himself, because another thought interfered.
"James." James shut up from his grumbling and looked at him.
"Don't tell me that you're lonely?" It was ridiculous, Remus thought, because it hadn't even been a week since "the Incident". Then again, it had started even before that. But judging from the look James gave him, the ridiculous thought wasn't far off.
"I am not," James denied instantly.
"You're sure about that?" Actually Remus felt a bit guilty, knowing how Sirius felt about what had happened, but not being able to tell James anything, even though it was thanks to him anything had happened at all. Apparently it had showed in his voice, because James jaw relaxed in a miniscule motion.
"Okay. Maybe a little," he confessed between his teeth. "But look, I don't blame you for it or anything. It all worked out, in fact worked out very well for the three of us. I've not been sitting idly with nothing else to do now, have I?" The implication was too obvious to miss.
"So I take it everything's going well with Lily?"
"Don't look so incredulous. I am a very caring, gentle, and not to say extremely handsome boyfriend."
"I believe you." He laughed. James and Lily were still an unofficial couple, but James said it didn't bother him that Lily wanted to wait before "shouting out to the world that she was madly in love with James Potter". Besides, it was already noticeable to their closer friends, and surrounding students who cared enough, that Lily somehow had warmed up to him, and Remus guessed they weren't going to be very surprised when an official exclamation finally came.
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Remus checked once, twice, that there wasn't anybody around when he unlocked the map. He found Sirius fairly quickly, an unmoving dot in the middle of the empty Prefect's bathroom. He sighed, he should never have given him the password, he thought, and went straight there.
"Hello there sexy. Come on in and take your clothes off. This is a bathroom after all," Sirius greeted him. He was sitting on top of one of the sinks, dangling his feet over the floor and smiling at Remus who barely had made it a couple of feet inside the room. Baffled, Remus stood and stared for a moment.
"You certainly don't have any clothes on," he collected himself enough to say.
"I certainly don't," Sirius said, totally unabashed. "Well, it's not as if I'm completely naked," he added and pointedly looked down at the towel tied around his waist. And as if to compromise his own words of "not completely" he dangled his feet jovially in even higher arcs, rendering the towel completely useless as means of cover to his more private parts. Remus quickly averted his gaze.
"You did that on purpose," he said while staring with great determination at the white tiled wall.
"Oh come on Remus," Sirius said amused. "It's nothing you haven't seen before." Still refusing to look at the grinning boy in front of him Remus stayed silent, trying to keep himself from getting flustered. He had seen it all before, but he found the sight of Sirius's bits dangling along with his feet a bit too much for embarrassment. Sirius sighed and hopped off the sink. He went straight up to Remus.
"I have the map," Remus said.
"That's great," Sirius replied with not so much as a hint of real interest. He seemed more focused on sniffing Remus on the neck and shoulders.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"You need a bath," Sirius said triumphantly.
"I took a shower this morning." Remus didn't know whether to feel offended or embarrassed. "As I always do."
"Maybe you engaged in some vigorous activity some time this afternoon." Sirius started to remove Remus tie. "And unless my memory fails me, which would be strange because I do believe I was present at the time-"
"Sirius."
"-means that you're in need of a bath."
"I didn't lock the door. Someone might come in." Sirius ignored him and continued to unbutton his shirt.
"No one will come. To be honest I don't think anybody would dare."
"What?"
Sirius laughed. "I'd forgotten to tell the door to not let anybody in except you. Took one look at me and scampered right away, that Ravenclaw bloke or whoever did. Probably told the whole world by now that a stark naked Sirius Black is barricading the Prefect's bath."
"He saw you naked?" Remus said, while in reality he wanted to say something more in the lines of "How long have you been in here naked?"
"Only my dazzling backside, nothing too explicit."
"Ah, he got the good view then," Remus bit back. No dangly bits, he added in thought.
"Ooh. I always knew you preferred it that way. You pervert." He grinned. Remus shrugged off his shirt and put it aside along with his tie. He stepped closer and let his hand trail from Sirius stomach to rest on his chest. Sirius put his arms around Remus's neck and traced his fingers in his hair. They kissed.
"So, a bath?" Remus said. Sirius smiled.
"I can scrub your back if you want."
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Sirius took a quick peek around the doorframe before stepping out of the Prefect's bathroom and into the corridor. He clutched the Marauder's Map in his hand, but alas, you could never be too sure. There were many dots running about every-which-where, and only so much paper to fit them all. He refused to let his eagerness be the cause of him missing a dot somewhere and ruining the chances of the "Homage to James"-party, as he referred to it, being one with alcohol, rather than without. Plus, he added while being honest with himself, the bath earlier had somewhat left his mind in the gutter. Yeah, he thought and checked the map for reassurance. Safety first. He proceeded with great caution, as far as the concept went with him, towards the statue of the one-eyed witch.
When Sirius had gone, Remus was left in charge of the castle. This meant spreading the word to the Gryffindors and some others that something, of some sort, very similar to a party type of activity, was to take place in the Gryffindor common room at Saturday. In other words – to get the rumour spread in the most inconspicuous of manners. And being inconspicuous was something he took great pride in excelling. He'd already rallied Peter as the one in charge of fetching snacks from the kitchen, and the rumour seemed to spread nicely. And soon enough Saturday evening was approaching and everything had gone according to plan.
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Needless to say, James was exceptionally surprised when he entered the common room followed by Lily later that night. She'd been, along with Peter, Remus's most trusted accomplice, and had easily kept James from the common room while the preparations had been made.
"I didn't even have to lie," she said to Remus. They were standing to the side, looking at the crowd which held James and Sirius at its centre of attention. She sighed and smiled. "All I had to do was say 'Let's go' and like, do this…" She made an inclining movement with her hand. Remus chuckled. He looked up at the floating banner ahead of them and the sparkling words "Congratulations James Potter!" As soon as James and Lily entered the room, the crowd had erupted in cheers. James was so dumbfounded that he didn't even notice Sirius pouncing on him and hugging him until his bones almost cracked.
"It's not my birthday," he managed to wheeze out. Sirius let go of him and held him at arms length.
"Is that all you have to say after I went through all the trouble to set this up?" he said, his eyes gleaming. Sirius slung an arm around James's shoulders. "Obviously I know it's not your birthday," he said. James put his askew glasses back in place.
"Is this your way of saying you're sorry?" he asked.
"Hmm, could be," Sirius replied. James seemed to think it over for a moment.
"Remus thinks I've been lonely," he admitted at length.
"Oh? Is this your way of saying 'apology accepted'?" Sirius smile was crooked from the angle James looked at him.
"Could be," James answered. "And besides, it looks like I'll be having two birthday parties this year."
"Calls for a celebratory drink, yeah?"
"You bet."
Sirius took a deep breath and called out to nobody in particular, "Oi! A drink for the birthday boy! And two for me!" A second later they both held drinks in each hand. James mumbled his thanks to a couple of third year girls, whose names he didn't know, who'd walked up to him saying "happy birthday" with genuine smiles and a few nervous giggles. He turned back to face his friend, who'd already emptied one of his glasses.
"Now drink up lad," Sirius said with a grimace of a man who had tasted something bitter, but albeit satisfying. "We have lots of celebrating to do and only so much time to do it in."
"Right you are. Let's get sloshed, yeah?"
"Cheers to that."
Remus had from the beginning kept himself out of the epicentre which was Padfoot and Prongs, and the shockwaves of the rumbling crowd. He was content standing to the side chatting with Lily and sipping his drink. Tonight, with all that was, he didn't feel like losing his better judgement on which he usually had a very tight grip. That was why, when Remus saw his intoxicated boyfriend take one wobbly step up on a chair and shout over the crowd, he could only think one thing: Oh hell. This does not bode well.
"Attention all!" Sirius bellowed across the room. "No celebration is complete without a celebratory speech! And as the self acclaimed toastmaster, this little task was set upon me, by me," Sirius inebriated voice boomed out.
"I only have one thing to say; and that is congratulations James!" He made a theatrical pause. "Congratulations on being the best mate a man like me could ever have, knowing me even better than myself. A toast!" The crowd held up their glasses.
"And also, congratulations for finally hooking up with the girl of your dreams! Cheers mate!" James face instantly lost its entire colour. From how consecutive gasps and whispers instantly erupted from the crowd at this revealed information, the meaning of Sirius's statement hadn't gone unnoticed. The only exception was Sirius himself who winked down at James. James however, looked as if in a state of pre-panic. His face still totally white, he looked back and forth from Sirius to Lily. Remus dared a glance to his side. He'd expect Lily to be furious, or at least a bit irked. Sirius on the other hand, was only confused.
"What?" he looked down at James and the bustling crowd. "What did I do?"
"W-what did you do?!" James spluttered. "You-… you!" he grabbed Sirius by his tie and yanked him off the chair. "We hadn't told anyone yet! She's gonna kill me!" he spat.
"What?! You've been going out for over a week!" Sirius choked out, his tie still in the clutches of James balled-up fist.
"I was being patient and understanding. I was waiting for her to tell everyone she was madly in love with me," James said with his voice both sounding of menace and panic. He looked at Lily who still stood unmoving a couple of feet away. "Lily, I didn't…!" he wailed. "This isn't-!" Unable to find the right thing to say, because there really wasn't anything he could think of saying to save the situation, James turned back to focus his indignation on Sirius. "You've ruined everything!"
"I did?! How the fuck was I supposed to know!" Sirius bit back angrily. "I've been bloody avoiding you!" Their voices started to reach the level of an all-out brawl. Remus was on the verge of going in there to stop them, but then…
"Bollocks that! If you'd spent less time snogging Remus every-bloody-which-where, and paid more attention, you'd notice such things!" James shouted. Sirius took a sharp intake of breath. Remus froze. The room had gone quiet before James's voice rung out, but now the on-lookers erupted in gasps and whispers again. This time however, Remus was included when the crowd looked back and forth from him and Lily to Sirius and James, seemingly trying to decide which couple to focus their attention on. To his side, Lily sighed.
"I guess we have to put an end to this before they do." She looked at Remus and explained, "It wasn't like I didn't want to tell people… I just wanted to see if he was mature enough not to," she said, smiling impishly. "Though this has totally blown out of proportion," she grimaced.
"Uh…" Remus found he had no voice to answer in.
"Come on now," she said and put her hand on Remus's shoulder. Remus sighed too.
"Isn't it easier just to let them hex each other into oblivion?" Then all this might go away, he thought in resignation. Lily's mouth twitched in something that could've been a smile.
"Tomorrow, we'll make them wish they did. If not the hangover does." Feeling a bit better by the prospect of this, Remus followed her. Like the Dead Sea did for Moses, the crowd parted to let them through to get to their respective partners. Oblivious by their surroundings, Sirius and James were continuing their argument throughout.
"…and we have not been every-which-where! Sirius retorted.
"Don't think I don't know! I know everything! My bed!" James snapped.
"Ooh," Sirius said forebodingly. "Should I tell you exactly what we did on your bed, James Potter?"
"Argh! You didn't?!"
Sirius leaned forward and bored his eyes into James's.
"Three times."
"You bastard!" James shoved Sirius backwards as he let go of the hold he had on him and was just about to reach for his wand when…
"James Potter!" Lily's stern voice scolded as she went up to him. James hand stopped in mid-action as he froze.
"Hah!" Sirius mocked and was about to say something more, but Remus interrupted him. "Sirius! Be quiet." Like James, Sirius froze. He looked over his shoulder and saw Remus standing there, looking extremely displeased.
Sirius mouth had gone very dry all of a sudden.
"Shit," he croaked.
Lily turned to Peter who stood by the crowd.
"Sorry for the inconvenience, but I'd recommend you sleep on a couch or elsewhere for tonight." Peter nodded his okay.
"I guessed as much," he sighed.
"Come on James. We're leaving." She took his hand and started to walk towards the portrait hole.
"I'm not finished with him!" James said indignantly.
"Yes you are," Lily said unrelenting.
"No he's not! You don't just run from an argument!" Sirius said.
"Sirius Black," Remus said. "I strongly suggest you let it go and come with me. Now."
Sirius hesitated. But seeing as James was being half-dragged through the portrait hole, Sirius huffed, turned on his heel, and followed Remus up the stairs to their dorm.
"Remus…" he said sheepishly as he caught up to Remus's retreating back. Remus said nothing and held the door up so that Sirius could enter. He shut it behind him.
"Hey Remus…" he tried again. Remus sat down on his bed and leaned his back against the wall.
Sirius snorted, not liking how Remus didn't even answer him. "So what? You're gonna tell me how much trouble I'm in?"
Remus rubbed his temples with his fingers. He wanted to know how Lily planned on handling James, because he had no idea how to handle Sirius.
"Sirius, I don't want to argue. There's been enough of that already."
"But you want to say something, right?" Sirius probed, not letting it go.
"If you're referring to earlier, then yes. I admit being a bit peeved about you and James shouting in front of everybody just exactly where, and how many times, we've done it."
"So you're not mad that I got us 'outed' in front of well…everyone?"
"Oh please. We were never 'in' to begin with, or at least I wasn't. But holding hands in the corridor isn't the same as shouting out that I got you off three times in James's bed… That's private."
Sirius shuffled his feet, thinking that he may have gone a bit overboard.
"…Four times."
"What?"
Sirius squatted by the bed and stroked Remus's leg. "You got me off four times," he said, with guilty eyes searching Remus's for forgiveness, "we only had sex there three times though…"
Remus tried to find a connection between the way Sirius was looking at him and what he was saying and found none.
"…Which honestly isn't something to be ashamed of," Sirius continued. "I mean, in reality you should be proud." Sirius smiled as he saw the blush creep upon Remus's face. His hand crept beneath the fabric of Remus's trousers and stealthily travelled as high as it could. Remus swallowed.
"What're you doing?" he tried to sound stern, but it came off short. "Sirius you're drunk."
"I can still get it up."
"Wha-?! Sirius!" Remus felt his whole face go red at Sirius's total lack of decorum. "That's not what I meant!" He tried to shuffle away from Sirius's touch, but it got him nowhere as he already had his back against the wall. Sirius counterattacked by creeping up on the bed. He moved himself even closer and pulled up Remus's shirt from his pants.
"Talking about having sex with you, just thinking about it, is enough for me to…" Sirius touched Remus's stomach. He didn't have to finish the sentence. Just by looking, Remus could tell how aroused Sirius was, and he felt himself get pulled into the mood. He started touching Sirius back, who in turn sighed contently and leaned into the caresses. Sirius looked at him with eyes glazed from lust.
"Remus… I love you. I want you."
"You're drunk," Remus said, this time his voice tender and without any reprimand. He leaned forward to kiss Sirius, put his arms around him, and they lay down together.
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Sirius woke up the next morning and immediately wished he hadn't. His head felt like someone had poked a wand in there and stirred around in the contents. Slowly he opened his eyes. He was in Remus's bed, and Remus was lying next to him, still sleeping soundly. The air inside the four poster's curtains was suffocatingly warm, and smelled of sweat mixed with other bodily fluids. I definitely remember that, he thought sweetly, as he lay still while the memories from last night returned to him. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry and his mouth tasted like flobberworm had crawled in and died there.
"Water," he mumbled. "I need water." And a toothbrush, he added in thought. Reluctantly he sat up, located his boxers and put them on while trying not to wake up Remus. He found his pants and shirt tossed by the bed, grabbed them and sneaked out from the curtains.
"Good morning," said a voice.
"Huh?" Sirius said, caught by surprise. He squinted – his eyes not used to the bright light of day – and saw James sitting cross-legged on his bed. "Mornin'…" he croaked. Sirius felt quite like a reindeer caught in the headlights of a muggle car, or so he thought the saying went, standing naked but his boxers, holding his pants in one hand and his shirt in the other. James gave him a look.
"At least you had the decency not to use my bed," he said. Sirius grimaced.
"Uh, yeah. About that…I'm-" he started, but fell into silence as James stood up and motioned for him to be quiet.
"You know," James started. "I have a bloody hangover from last night. And if I have one, then you certainly do too. So I was thinking you should put your pants on, and join me for lunch."
"Lunch?" Sirius questioned.
"It's already noon." Sirius mouth made an "oh".
"So last night…?"
"As far as I'm concerned, nothing good will ever come out of the two of us not speaking to each other. So let's not do that again, yeah?"
Sirius broke out in a grin.
"Shake on it?" he held out his hand.
"Wash your hands first, and I'll think about it." James grinned too.
"Just give me two minutes." Sirius laughed silently and hurried into the bathroom.
"I wrote a note for Remus saying where we went," James said as Sirius came back a minute later.
"Thanks mate," Sirius said. "We can bring him back some food if he doesn't come down."
"Sure, come on now. We have lots to catch up on."
"Yeah," he said. Let's go." They closed the door silently behind them as they left the room.
End.
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A/N: This is (supposedly) the last instalment of Operation Seduce Sirius. I am however thinking about moving this to my LiveJournal, and adding an epilouge (Rated R...)
Thank you, everyone who has read, enjoyed and reviewed! Honestly, it has been so much fun, even though it took me so long to get this far. Please do the same for this chapter :) And I'll "see you soon." Cheers and Happy Holidays.