Chapter Ten:

A/N: Oooo! Hitting the double digits now! Hah. Weird mood tonight, means weird chapter.

SO, I just got back from Dashboard Confessionals concert, and it was AMAZING. If you ever have the chance to see them live, do so! Yessss. I'm still on a really big high from it hah adrenaline adrenaline. So here we go.

--&

Jordan walked up onto the stage, much to the delight of her friends, and many other patrons of the bar. She was greeted with cheers, whistles and enthusiastic applause, which she smiled confidently at. Even if she had been planning to sing, she wouldn't be too nervous. She'd done her share of singing performances in her life.

"Hey" She said into the mic. "I would now like to introduce my friend Garret, as he is so enthused to sing this song for you. Come on up Gar!" She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the icy glace Garret sent her from across the room. Perfect timing. Just as Garret was pushed away from the table, Renee entered the bar, and headed towards it. Perfect. Garret approached the stage, and Jordan gave him a playful peck on the cheek and handed him the mic. "Let's give it up for Garret!" She yelled, earning a loud cheer from the rather intoxicated crowd.

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.

Jordan, luckily, had a great memory. She remembered ages ago, her and Garret had been bored, and talking about anything and everything. Favourite song as a teenager had come up, and he had said this was his. Garret was grateful at least, that he could sort of sing. He hadn't done it for years, but in his time, he had been quite the musician.

Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

The song made him think of Renee. Things had been going so great with them, he'd chosen her over Lily, and Lily had meant a lot to him at the time, she still did. But Renee had left him. He should have seen it coming. She never sacrificed anything for their relationship, where he had sacrificed so much. Thank you Jordan, He thought sarcastically, for making me think about her again. It was just getting better, I was starting to forget… then this. Then Jordan had to bring it back again. Just because it was blast into the past week for her, didn't mean it had to be for him as well.

Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.

It made her think of him too. Renee had quickly exchanged pleasantries with her sometimes colleagues around the table. Her sometimes colleagues who were rather inebriated. Some more than others, she concluded, after taking into account that Jordan Cavanaugh, the, although eccentric, usually work centered doctor who had been giggling and openly accepting whistles and cheers as she talked at ease in front of a crowd, and then Garret, the usually completely serious, always concentrated Chief Medical Examiner, on stage, singing, and by the looks of it, singing from his heart.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.

He wished he could make things right between them. It had been short, but it had been sweet. The short amount of time they had been able to spend together while a couple was one of the best relationships of his life. He felt free with her, he felt wild. He could say whatever he wanted, he could do as he pleased, she'd seen it all in her career, in her life, as had he. She was his match, she was his mate, and she'd left. He hadn't been enough. Had he been so satisfied, he hadn't worried about satisfying? Had things been too comfortable? Or as right as she was for him, had he just not been right for her? Yet another regret. So many questions, hardly any answers. The only one, that answered almost none, he was left with was the simple professionalism over personal. Professional in general, over personal, on any level.

Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

She missed him. She really did. Nothing seemed quite as funny, nothing seemed quite as real, after she'd left him. The biggest regret. She still won cases, she still lost cases. She was still touched by every victim, though she'd let no one see it. She still fought from the very bottom of her heart each day, each minute, she was in court. She still thought about him each of those minutes. She hadn't fought quite as hard, she hadn't felt quite as much since she'd left him, since she'd seen the dedication he put towards every victim, the dedication he pushed through to his employees, the friendly, yet still professional, relationships he was able to have with them. It was unique, he was unique, talented. He was everything she could ask for, yet she hadn't let him stay. She knew he would have. She knew he sacrificed. Maybe she hadn't felt deserving, but she knew that was a lie. She had been happy, she hadn't needed anything else and not having something to fight for, not having something to strive for, that scared her. He completed her, and she wasn't used to being complete. Now it was all she wanted, but would he take her back?

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers;
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.

Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
You're calling too late
too late to be gracious you do not warrant long goodbyes.

But would he take her back? As the song finished, that was the line running through her head as she blindly stood up from the table, not bothering to clap or cheer along with the rest of the crowd. It was simply him, it was simply her. Where colour combines and fire ignites. Eyes meeting, thoughts sparking, hope shooting. This was it, the moment of truth. Would they allow them selves happiness? Would they be complete again?

--&

A/N: Obviously Renee/Garret centric there. I think I am dying hah. Or something along those lines. So I should probably try to get myself to bed, oh gosh, the effort it takes hah possibly one step? Nah, I could probably do this without touching the ground hah. I just saw that song performed live, and it was amazing. I really love Dashboard Confessionals a lot. Obviously my train of thought is everywhere. I am going to post this now, even though I'm not quite sure it makes sense, I'm not quite sure anything I'm trying is making sense okay I'm going to stop typing now and go to SLEEP. Good night!

Please review, hah, help feed my craziness.