Roots and Seeds

a Law and Order: CI story

by RoadrunnerGER

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf still has not agreed to sell them, so they're not mine. This is just for fun and practice.

A/N: Thank you for your nice reviews. It's always great to see that the effort put into a scene paid off. Thanks. Enjoy.

Chapter 21

Ross was not the only one who stopped by that day. In the late afternoon Carolyn Logan came for about an hour and was picked up by Mike then. The early evening saw Lewis climb up the stairs to her house and right after he had left Deakins called to hear if everyone was doing alright. Alex told him about Bobby being in hospital and their former captain asked for his room number so that he could visit him the next day.

The night passed unspectacularly. Ronny was the little angel he always was and Naomi seemed to sense that something happened to her father. She remained silent throughout most of the night, screaming only when she was hungry or needed a new diaper.

So Alex was rested the next day when she left to go to the headquarters and give her statement. Bishop took it together with Ross. They both were supportive and encouraged Alex. She started to feel that Bobby had a promising future at the Major Case Squad, at least where Ross was concerned. The Chief probably thought differently.

In the evening Alex drove to the hospital to take Bobby home. A thick bandage covered his shoulder and he wore a sling to immobilize his arm. Despite his protest Alex carried his bag to their car. On the drive home neither of them spoke. Both wanted to wait until they were safe in their own house.

Helen helped them to settle in.

"I put the kids to bed," she told Alex when they were cooking dinner together. She already had prepared a lot so that they mostly heated the meat and vegetables up. They made the sauce fresh and put some fries in the oven.

"Good that you hit my right shoulder," Bobby teased when they sat together at the dinner table. Being left handed he had not much trouble eating after Alex cut his meat for him. "By the way… who did shoot me?"

"We're not sure," Alex said. "We all hit Declan, but there's no proof for who shot you."

"Given my luck it was Ross," Bobby said and chuckled. "I guess he'd like that."

"Bobby." Helen Eames frowned at him deeply. "Why are you saying that about your captain?"

"He's not my biggest fan, Helen."

"But does that justify your attitude towards the captain?"

"Mom…"

"No, Alex. I'd like to get an answer." Curiously she looked at Bobby.

"He earned it," Bobby said.

Helen was stunned. She definitely did not expect him to be that honest.

"Before you say something… I earned getting shot, too," Bobby added. "We can consider it even."

Behind her hand Alex was smirking at her meal.

"I don't have to understand that, do I?" Helen asked.

"No," both Bobby and Alex replied in unison. Then Alex chuckled and Helen could only shake her head.

Their conversation turned to less problematic subjects and soon they had not only finished their roast, vegetables, and fries, but also the cheesecake Helen had made while Alex was in the city.

"The meal was excellent, Helen," Bobby told her when he helped her into her coat. "We enjoyed it very much." He grinned. "And you know how much I like cheesecake."

"Yeah, Bobby, I know." With a slight frown she squinted up at him. "But if you don't let go of my coat with the hand of your injured arm I'll show you my not so nice side."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. No cheesecake for the next half year."

At once Bobby let go of the coat that she already was shrugging on now anyway.

Helen smirked. "Be a good boy and let Alex take good care of you, okay, Bobby?"

Over his shoulder Bobby glanced at Alex who looked up at him with an innocent face but a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I'll let her take best care of me, Helen," he told his mother in law and winked at Alex who returned his gesture with a roll of her eyes.

Helen glanced at Alex, then at Bobby, and smiled. "I'll better go now. Don't forget your children."

"No way, Mom," Alex smirked. "Good night. Say hi to Dad from us."

"I will. Good night."

Both of them saw her walk down the pavement to her car and steer it off the curb. A moment later it vanished around the next corner.

"I really like your mom," Bobby said as he closed the door.

"She adores you."

"Really?"

His obvious incredulity made Alex chuckle. "Yes, she does. It has taken her a while to reach that point, but she really loves you, Bobby."

Choked up with emotions he could not answer her. All he could do was pull her in against his chest with his uninjured arm and kiss her. Then he backed up, suddenly remembering something.

"Didn't you promise to take good care of me?" he said with a lascivious glint in his eyes.

"Yes, I did," Alex grinned and her hand wandered down his front and into his pants.

"Whoa!"

"What, Bobby?" she teased. "Don't I take good care of you?"

"Yeah, you do," he confirmed. "Hm, don't you think that it would be more comfortable in bed?"

"And I thought you'd never ask."

Craning her neck she reached out for him and pulled him in for a deep kiss. They did not just stick to kissing. Bobby only needed to push a little to coax her up the stairs to their bedroom where they soon vanished beneath the covers.

About two hours and fresh diapers for Naomi later they snuggled up to each other under the blankets. Bobby was caressing Alex and she purred into his ear like the neighbor's cat when she came over for an extra session of petting. She returned his affections, making him moan. Her efforts relaxed him more and more until he was on the verge of sleep again. That was the moment Alex chose to ask her question that was burning inside of her since Ross's talk with her.

"Bobby?"

"Hmm?" he made, half asleep.

"Why didn't you tell me about the paternity test?"

From one second to the other Bobby was wide awake again.

"Alex…" he moaned before she cut him short.

"Wait a moment. I'm sorry, I started that wrong. We were talking about your mother, Frank and Brady before our wedding, but you never said something about wanting to know it for sure. A test was always out of the question for you. Why did you change your mind? And why didn't you tell me when you did?"

"Why do you ask now?"

"Don't answer me with a question, Bobby. You know that I don't ask because I feel left out, though you sometimes give that impression. I ask because I don't understand why you want to go through something like that paternity test on your own." Lovingly she smiled at him. "You don't have to go through everything all alone anymore. You can share with me, Bobby. For better or worse, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. Do you remember?"

"Yes, Alex. I remember." Pulling her back down in his embrace he took a deep breath. "I… I just did not… I did not want you to know."

"Why?"

"During the last months of your pregnancy… well, I… was reminded that Nicole also is pregnant. It… made me think about both children, yours and hers. They both are fruits of my seed, Alex. Thinking about those fruits I wondered where my roots really are. It was possible that Frank was my father, but it was also possible that it was Brady. Just before she died my mom admitted that she was never sure herself."

He fell silent. Alex could feel his shuddering breaths against her own body. This was all but easy for him.

"And after you got the results?"

For another few minutes she got no response, but she sensed how tense he was and knew that he could not have been fallen asleep.

"I… did not know how… how I should tell you. You were so advanced in your pregnancy… I just… I didn't want to cause you stress and… risk a preterm delivery."

"How very considerate of you," Alex could not help but tease him. "You really think that I'm that fragile?"

"I… just didn't want to risk it," he mumbled. "And a part of me still doesn't want you to know the truth."

"But why, Bobby?"

"Because…" His voice trailed off. This seemed to be a pretty difficult subject for him. "I'm scared that… that it… that it would make a difference."

"A difference?"

"For you. I mean, now that you know… who my real father is, a serial killer. You've seen how Ross reacted…"

"Bobby! You can't be serious." Shifting her position she turned around to prop herself up on one elbow to look at him. "I don't love you for who your father was or not was! I love you because you are yourself, the most brilliant detective I've ever met and the gentlest man alive. Your heart that holds so much love for everyone and everything that is important for you."

Her sad smile corded up his throat and tightened his chest. He loved her so much and it hurt him to have caused her pain in any way.

Alex could not stand his crestfallen look and bent down to kiss him. At first he did not respond at all, but her insistent but still passionate and loving assault broke his resistance and he returned her kiss wholeheartedly.

"Bobby? Promise me something?" she asked shakily.

"What is it, Alex?"

"From now on you'll spare me such shit! Okay?"

His face contorted with painful amusement. "Okay," he agreed.

"Oh, Bobby," she sighed. "You sure make this marriage an interesting ride."

Now he could not help but chuckle. It did not carry much amusement, but it was a start and for now it was enough for Alex. She laid back down and he pulled her in his strong embrace.

"I'm so grateful to you for helping me so much with the arrangements," Bobby softly murmured in her ear.

"I love you, Bobby."

"Thank you for all your support."

"That's understood, Bobby."

"I love you, too, Alex."

She smirked at him. "You sure doesn't make it easy for me, but I love you all the more for that challenge."

Before he could say anything she silenced him with another kiss and pulled the covers up.

xXx

The next morning started early as both babies demanded Alex's attention, nutrition and a clean bottom. As she was on maternity leave she used the opportunity to crawl back into bed to her husband who was on sick leave.

"It would be nice to have a Genie who's delivering breakfast in bed," Alex murmured.

"I'd volunteer, but I'd have trouble with the tray," Bobby said.

"No problem. Let's cuddle up for a moment more and then I'll go and make breakfast. What would you like to have?"

"Anything you'll make will be fine."

"Oh, you're quite brave this morning, huh?"

"No, I'm not," he mumbled and turned on the other side.

"Bobby?" Alex asked worriedly.

"I just trust you to make what I like. I'll need it."

Alex sighed. Yes, that might be true. In the early afternoon was the funeral and just by the look of him she could tell that Bobby would rather like to hide under the covers. She also knew that he would never do that. Despite everything Frankie had done, his gambling addiction, his lies, Bobby had loved his brother. She wished it would have been enough to save Frankie. How many times did Bobby reach out for him and how often did Frankie let him down? Once he even attacked Bobby with a knife when he was neither willing nor able to give him the money he had asked for. There was not much Bobby would not have done for his brother and Frankie had only used that to his advantage. Alex worried a little about the fact that that enraged her so much, even now that he was dead.

"I'll go downstairs now, okay?" she murmured close to his ear and kissed his temple.

"Okay."

So Alex slipped out of bed, dressed in sport pants and sweater and checked on Ronny and Naomi quickly before she went to the kitchen. It did not take long to make breakfast. She put their plates with bacon, egg, and toast on a tray together with a thermos jug full of coffee and two mugs. Back in their bedroom she found Bobby sitting in the bed. Smirking she sat the tray down on his lap and as he held it she climbed back into bed beside him.

"Smells delicious."

"Thanks. Enjoy."

"I'm sure that I will."

They ate in silence, but it was an amicable and comfortable silence. They just enjoyed their breakfast. Once they were finished they vanished in the bathroom, got dressed and took care of the kids again. So the morning passed with all kinds of preparation. About noon Bobby became nervous and Alex just went to him and hugged him tight. She felt him shudder and his arms wrapped around her. For a moment they simply stood there and held each other.

"Thanks," he murmured as he let go of her.

Alex just smiled at him. It was all he needed. Then the door bell rang and she went to open the front door. Her parents arrived to drive together with them to the cemetery. It was a silent drive. Upon arriving they met a small group. Lewis came up to Bobby and patted his shoulder before he accompanied him over to the grave. Ross and Rodgers were there as well as James Deakins and his wife. Carolyn and Mike were also waiting. To Bobby's surprise he also saw Fiona and Collin. They all gathered around Bobby supportively and his heart filled with gratefulness.

It was a simple ceremony. Honest as well as loving words were spoken, the coffin lowered in the grave and earth and flowers thrown onto it.

Slowly one after the other left the grave to return to the cars until only Bobby stood beside the hole in the ground, staring at the wooden coffin covered with earth and flowers. He sensed that Alex had not left but stood a few steps away behind him, giving him privacy as well as support and he sighed.

"Now, that is the end, Frankie," he murmured. "Hope you'll find what you were searching for in the next world. Good bye."

For another moment he stood there in silence, fighting his tears, before he turned to go with Alex back to their car. He was glad that she was driving like she usually did when they were on duty. So he could just let his mind roam back to memories and theories about Donny, his own children with Alex, Nicole…

Way too soon they were back at the house where he had to face his family and friends. Bobby was relieved to experience that he had not to listen to endless repetitions of I'm sorry for your loss or anything similar. Everyone proved to be compassionate without hiding behind phrases like that. Most of them had the decency to leave after one or maybe two drinks and so he and Alex were left only with Helen and John as well as Carolyn and Mike about an hour later.

When the telephone rang Bobby feared that he would get just another condolence call, but he was mistaken. It was Ross. Without saying much himself Bobby listened to what their captain had to say. Upon turning back to Alex and the others his face had lost a lot of color.

"What?" Alex panted with dread knotting her stomach.

"They found Nicole."

tbc…